What Might Be
by Shadows11
Summary: Ana"bella" is a small town girl bullied by most of the high school population. While used to being alone, her heart aches for more. So when a mysterious new family and a particular green eyed individual move to town she can't help but wonder, what might be... and if it's time to let go of those secrets she's been holding on to.
1. Tyler

**Chapter 1: Tyler**

"Thank you so much Tyler," I told the dark haired blue eyed boy as I quickly climbed into his old pickup truck. He was going to take me home today. Normally I walked the mile and a half; a bad decision on my part as the sky had opened up and started pouring down by the end of the day. I had been standing under the awning at the entrance to Eldritch Academy, my high school, contemplating walking home in the downpour when Tyler stopped to talk to me. That in and of itself was not too strange of a phenomenon, but the offer to take me home was.

Tyler's circle of friends "The Guys" (aka: Mike, James, and Ben) were not particularly fond of me, well to be honest they were brutal. They seized any chance to laugh at or humiliate me, but Tyler had always been the nicest. He was not outright kind to me per se. More or less he made each encounter less painful than it otherwise could have been. Like the time he left me a shop jumpsuit to wear home when The Guys had stolen my clothes while I was in the shower after gym class. He didn't say much to me, just awkwardly held his head to stare at anything but the naked girl in front of him as he handed me the clothes. And that had actually been one of the less awkward pranks they pulled on me.

I sighed inwardly, shaking off the thoughts turning to look at Tyler just as we pulled out the school parking lot. He really was handsome I thought; lightly tanned skin, lean muscles slightly bulging underneath the black cloth of his shirt, and piercing sapphire eyes rimmed in the darkest lashes I had ever seen on a boy. The funny thing was, I really wasn't attracted to him. Probably because he still had a hand in the pranks The Guys pulled on me.

"You're welcome," Tyler mumbled. "Do you need to go home right away?" He asked me suddenly, his eyes flashing from the road to my face.

"Not really. Why?" I asked becoming a little worried.

"I need to go by Mack's house really quickly to get some stuff. He was supposed to bring my bag to school today but he forgot. My mom will have my ass for being irresponsible if I don't come home with it again. Do you mind?"

I nodded, relaxing and understanding. My house was on the way to Tyler's, but Mack's was about fifteen minutes in the opposite direction. I would be easier to go to Mack's first then drop me off.

"No, that's ok." He flashed me a sweet smile and turned left. We road most of the way in silence, with just a hint of soft oldies music playing on the radio. We pulled up to Mack Johnson's place. It was a nice single story home with green shutters and a red door. They also had a quaint manicured lawn bordered by a white picket fence.

"I'll be back in just a minute." Tyler told me leaving the truck running. He hopped out the truck and ran quickly to the door. I sat in the truck waiting patiently for Tyler to return. After about fifteen minutes I finally saw the front door open and Tyler emerge. He was back to the truck in seconds. The rain had really picked up at this point, Tyler was nearly soaking wet. Rain drizzled down his black hair and seeped into the thin cotton shirt. I sort of felt bad, he was probably cold.

"Sorry it took so long." He sent me an apologetic smile as he put the car in reverse. Just as he pulled out, his cell phone rang. He gave the phone a small frown, then tapped the small screen and held the device in between his ear and shoulders as he backed out the drive.

"Hey man, what's up?" I knew even without asking that he was talking to Mike. Tyler's eyes glanced my way as he spoke. I got the distinct feeling I was being discussed. Instead of thinking too much into it I tuned out the conversation, occupying myself with looking out the window. A thought occurred to me and I reached down shuffling through my bag. I found what I wanted just as he hung up the phone. Without even thinking about it I reached out with a small towel in my hand. Tyler look at me obviously confused by my action.

"It's a towel." I explained. "Your hair is soaking wet. I thought drying off might make you more comfortable." His eyes instantly went sad and the truck rolled to a stop on the side of the road. Gently he took the towel from my hand and stared at me for a few seconds.

"You ok?" I asked him, wondering at his reaction. I wasn't sure what I expected, maybe for him to shrug off the question dry his hair and move on. Instead he looked at me his eyes searching mine, for what I wasn't sure, then he spoke.

"They want me to drop you off here. So that you have to walk the rest of the way home, in this weather." He told me seriously. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me, more hurt than I could explain. I had become adept at hiding my feelings behind a mask of indifference and sarcasm, but somehow with Tyler I just couldn't muster the strength to act cheerful. Maybe because I knew Tyler didn't want to do it. It was written all over his face.

"Will you just do me one favor?" I asked sighing in resignation. He gave me a curious look. "Will you take my bag home? All my school work and my cell phone is in there. I don't want it to get ruined by the rain."

He looked at me incredulously. "You can't be serious."

"I am and I wouldn't ask if it wasn't for the fact that I have electronics in there."

"That's not what I meant! I can't just leave you on the side of the road at least fifteen miles from your home." He told me with a mixture of despair and bewilderment.

"Then why did you pull over?" I asked him quietly. He looked floored. "That's what I thought. Please just take my stuff home. You can leave it on the front porch."

"Ana, I don't want to do this …" I cut Tyler off holding my hand up.

"I get it. You would take me home if they weren't going to check and you don't want to look like a wimp or whatever. I hope one day you learn to be happy without the approval of people that just want to bring you down." I opened up the truck door and hopped out. I gave him a sad smile then shut the door. I watched Tyler pull slowly onto the road and drive away.

**Yeah, I know it's a slow chapter, but I wanted to set the scene, more dialogue and action will occur soon! I promise :D**


	2. Angry

**Chapter 2: First Encounter**

I took a deep breath trying to get over the shock of the cold rain. It was nearly November so the cold air was made even colder by the heavy rain and rapid wind. I regretted not forcing Tyler to take me home or at least drop me off closer to the house.

I moved forward bracing myself with every step. The grass was slick and the wind made it hard to keep my balance. I pushed onward knowing the sooner I got home the sooner I would be warm.

It only took about three minutes before I was completely soaked. In about ten I started shivering. By the time thirty minutes had passed all my muscles were aching from all the effort it took to keep from falling. I didn't think the storm could get worse, but I was wrong. So very wrong.

I felt as if a monsoon rained down upon me. I could barely see the in front of me the rain was so thick. Then flashes of lightening shot across the sky and the sound of the thunder was so loud I actually jumped, causing me to lose my footing and fall into a mixture of grass and mud. I carefully stood, trying to regain my balance.

I walked slowly on for another two hours, until my body was shivering so badly I couldn't stand. I had fallen multiple times already, but this time I couldn't find the strength to stand back up. I felt like crying, but I no longer had the energy.

I knew I couldn't just sit here, I would die of hypothermia or pneumonia. If I died I knew it would kill my father. I couldn't let that happen. With new determination I forced myself to stand. I had to be close by, I just had to be.

As if somewhere up above a kind soul were watching and took pity on me, the rain finally slacked off and I could see a familiar stop sign just up ahead. Yes! Only a mile and I would be home. I sighed with great relief. My new mantra became _Almost there. Almost home, keep moving._

I staggered with exhaustion as I made it up the three steps on my front porch. _Home. I was finally home._

Looking beside the front door was my bag, safe and dry. I smiled thankful that Tyler had done at least that much for me. As I reached for the bag I saw a note sitting on top; probably from Tyler. I would read it after I got warm, I decided.

Once inside the house I started stripping off my cold soggy clothes already feeling the burn of warm air on my frozen skin. I left the clothes in a pile on the hardwood floors by the front door and made a beeline for the living room. I wrapped myself up in the couch blankets huddling into the soft warm material. I curled up in a ball letting my body warm slowly. The mixture of the warm blanket and my own exhaustion lulled me to sleep.

**Edward's POV**

I hated high school. It was about the most painful experience any person could be forced into. And yet here I was on my way to a new one… for the seventh time.

I sighed, sometimes, well a lot of the time, being a Vampire really sucked. Always moving around, at least my family and I could stay in the same area for five to eight years. But even that was still exhausting. I didn't mind feeding only from animals or getting accustomed to human culture, but I hated the lack of freedom. The constant looking over your shoulder to make sure no one saw you move to fast or lift something too heavy, etc… I would just be nice to let loose, say what I want, do what I want, and just not care.

I sighed again at myself. My train of thought was only going to put me in a worse mood.

At least I only had two more years of this torture. I would go to college again, maybe get another degree in medicine or music. Or maybe take a hiatus from society altogether and live alone in Italy or Ireland. Then I could be free.

But for now, I would endure two years of boredom for eight hours a day.

As I pulled up to the small public school I acquired some curious stares. I could hear their pondering, _Who's that? He's hot! Woah, nice car. Who's the new guy?_

I had driven alone today. The others would be here shortly. I eased into a parking spot near the back of the lot and stepped from the shiny silver Volvo. If they thought my car was nice, wait until they saw Rosalie's. I smirked at the thought.

Glancing around the parking lot I tried to ignore their thoughts. It was hard to do so. Another bane of my existence I suppose. Being able to hear the internal monologues of all people. It was maddening sometimes, like today. So many thoughts and all swirling around me. Perhaps I should have been flattered, but they had too many questions and we couldn't afford to risk being found out.

I pulled my schedule from my backpack mostly as a distraction from the curious stares. I scanned the list my mouth falling into a grimace. _English, Art, History, Trig, Lunch, Biology, and Gym._

"Uh hey man, you new here?" The annoying voice of a teenage male asked. I had heard him coming and all his thoughts of insecurities about how much better and stronger looking I am then he is. I threatened him and he wanted to put me in my place I suppose. I glanced up at him with bored eyes hoping to show I didn't care for his insolence.

"Yes." I replied somewhat shortly. The guy had a strange effect of making me want to punch him in his pasty face. A new feeling for me. Normally people like him didn't bother me, I simply ignored them and they got over themselves.

The guy flashed me a vicious looking smile. _Who does this jerk think he is, talking to me like that? I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, he is new._

I had to keep myself from rolling my eyes at him. There was always one who had to prove himself.

"I'm Mike. Mike Smith. My dad is the mayor." He told me smugly. As if his connection to local governmental power made him better than everyone else. Now I really wanted to punch him. Instead I shrugged feigning indifference.

"Is that so?" My tone annoyed him, but I wasn't being rude enough to actually make him angry. Still he wanted to make is point clear.

"Yes. I'm pretty popular around here. If you hang with me you could have anything you want. _Anything_." I thought about the way he said 'anything' and determined he was not just a major prick, but a dangerous one. Looking over him I guess I could see why he had such an inflated ego. He was good looking, for a human. He had short blond hair, dark brown eyes, a large mouth, and a very square jaw. His build was slightly smaller than mine, but well-toned. I gathered he probably played some sport. Football or baseball maybe.

Some of his friends saw our interaction and were coming over. Apparently I had a dangerous looking edge and they were worried about their precious friend. They were pretty boys as well. One had very short light brown hair and hazel eyes that were tinged with darkness. The other had swoopy dark brown hair and brown eyes. He looked more like a tag along than an aggressor though.

"Everything ok?" The hazel eyed boy asked.

"Yes. I was just introducing myself to the new guy. This is James Rush and that is Ben McKay." So James was the violent looking one and Ben the side kick. I politely inclined my head in their direction.

"So who are you?" James asked.

"Edward Cullen." They rolled my name around in their heads. I disliked it thoroughly. I was relieved though when I heard the engine of my family's car coming upon us. Rose pulled into the spot next to mine, astonishing the boys both with the car and her looks.

Rose stepped out of the vehicle tossing the boys a menacing look. Emmett, Jasper, and Alice all followed suit. The boys were now gaping at them with a mixture of awe and fear.

Emmett was the one to break the silence. "Can we help you?" He asked. The words were polite enough but the undertone was threatening. Alice rolled her eyes and smacked Emmett on the shoulder.

"Ease up Em." She told him low enough for only us to hear, before turning to the boys. "Hello. I see you have met my brother Edward. I am Alice Cullen." I wanted to laugh at her demeanor. Mike fancied himself in love with her already. She was beyond beautiful though. Short pixie hair, bright clear eyes, and a cute button nose.

"I'm Mike." The boy finally managed.

"Pleasure to meet you Mike." Alice told him then grasped Jaspers hand and pulled him towards the school. "Unfortunately we really need to get going to class now." And with that we all turned away from the gaping teens and heading into the building.

"Thanks Alice." I told her. She flashed me a cheeky grin.

"You are very welcome."

"What about me? I helped too." Emmett whined playfully. We all laughed at him.

"No, you almost started a fight." Alice told him. I gave a short nod in agreement. "As much as those boys were annoying we need to get along with them, for now." We all consented as much as it pained me to do so.

As we entered the building Rose and Emmett separated from us to head to their classes. They were seniors so we probably would only see each other at lunch. Alice and Jasper had the same schedule, they were headed to History. I headed to English.

Upon entering the room everyone stopped to look at me. It might have been unnerving, but I was used to it. I handed my slip to the Professor, Mr. Varner, who smiled kindly at me and told me to take a seat in the back of the room. I liked him.

Then class began with the calling of role. I tuned it out until he got to a particular name. This one he didn't speak out loud, but silently said in his head. It seemed deliberate. As if he didn't want to call attention to the person. He looked up to the empty desk beside mine frowning intently. Someone was supposed to be sitting there. A girl named Ana.

Mr. Varner glanced over to the petite girl beside me. They shared a look that I would have understood even if I couldn't read minds.

_Where is she?_

_I don't know. I didn't see her this morning._

_Crap._

_Crap._

Although the exchange was silent and only took a manner of seconds to occur. Mr. Varner brushed it off with a silent prayer that the girl was ok. The girl beside me, Angela, was worrying though.

_Where is she? She never misses school. Not even the one time… no Ang don't think about that!_

The thought took me by surprise. The Guys I had a feeling were Mike, James, and Ben. Although Mike and James fairly oozed with the scent of a bully, I would have guessed they used that against underclassmen, not girls.

An uneasy feeling filled my stomach as I pondered this as well as my feelings. I didn't get mixed up in these teenager's drama, it wasn't my place. So I brushed it off and tried to ignore the nagging feeling as I went about my day. I was relieved when lunch finally came.

I sat with my family at a table near a window. We quietly discussed how much we hated high school for a few moments, then they got lost with staring at each other. I rolled my eyes blocking out their thoughts.

"What did you do to her?" The angry voice asked. It wasn't loud, but I could hear it all the way across the cafeteria. Angela had directed the question at Mike. He was grinning evilly.

"_I _didn't do anything." _Tyler did_. He snickered giving the boy beside him a proud smile. The boy was one I had not seen before. He actually had a kind face, it was tanned with very blue eyes and a mouth set in a firm line of worry.

Angela gave the boy a surprised look. "Tyler?" She asked him. He wouldn't look at her. I could hear the guilt ringing in his head.

_Why? Why did I do it? I knew better. What if, what if she's dead? _He thought horrified. I was also horrified. What had the boy done that he would think he killed someone? I felt the pit of unease flare into boiling vat of anger.

"Where is she?" Angela gritted out. He finally looked up at her his eyes filled with despair.

"I don't know. I dropped her off on the side of the road after school yesterday." He admitted in a small voice. Angela gasped.

"In the storm?!" She screeched. "Where at?" The boy turned pale with shame.

"About a mile from Mack's house." He winced.

Angela gasped again. She was counting in her head. _That's 15. 15 miles, in the rain!_

"You mean to tell me you took her fifteen miles away from her house, made her walk those fifteen miles home in a severe thunderstorm, in less than forty degree weather, and you didn't even go back to check to make sure that she made it home?" Tyler winced again. As did I. I was ready to leap across the cafeteria and rip his throat out.

"I'm sure she's fine. Her dad would have gone berserk and sent out a search party if she didn't come home." James said exasperatedly.

Angela shook her head vehemently. "No, he wouldn't. He's out of town until next week. She was alone!" Angela cried out, tears running down the side of her face. Suddenly all the guys faces dropped, Tyler looked like he was going to be sick. "If she got hurt so help me God I will make sure each and every one of you goes to jail!" Angela spat before running out of the cafeteria. She was going to look for Ana.

I let out a low menacing growl that only my family would have heard. They had been so busy paying attention to each other they hadn't realized I was slowly becoming more and more agitated.

They all gasped at the fierceness of my anger. I could see me in Alice's mind ripping out the throats of the four boys, happily watching them die. Jasper reached out with his gift and tried to calm me. Emmett laid a firm hand on my shoulder serving as a restraint. I felt myself unwillingly become less upset. They all looked at me with worry.

"I have to go." I gritted out shooting from my seat.

**YAY more action!**

**I've reworked some of this, so if you are reading again it may be a little different than before. Not much. Just some dialogue transitioning to make it not sound like a small child wrote it. Haha**


	3. First Encounter

**Chapter 3: First Encounter**

**Edward's POV**

I rushed from the cafeteria following the scent of the girl Angela, trying to find her thoughts. It didn't take long. She was standing just outside the front entrance looking dejectedly out at the parking lot.

_I didn't drive today. How am I going to check on her? What if she's sick? Or hurt? What if she didn't make it home? Calm down Angie! Just think!_

That was just the kind of opening I needed. Why I cared so much I wasn't even sure, but I did.

"Hey, Angela right?" I asked the dark haired petite girl beside me. Her brown does eyes light on mine in surprise and slight shock.

_Oh my. Who is he I wonder? No time to think about that Ang! Ana's in trouble._

"Um Hi. Can I help you with something?" She asked me sweetly, masking the worry for her friend. I instantly liked her.

"I heard about your friend, I want to help." I told her. Her beautiful eyes filled a little with tears and relief.

"I was going to go look for her, but I didn't drive today." She told me helplessly. I pulled my keys out of my pocket and her eyes widened.

"I'll help you find her."

"You would do that for a complete stranger?" She asked me

"It is abominable what they did, I just want to help." I explained. She nodded her head. And we took off in the direction of my car.

"I'm probably over reacting. She's most likely at home, but I already called her cell and the house phone, no one picked up. Still I want to check there first, just in case, if that's ok with you." Angela said.

"I think that is a good idea." I told her

"Turn right up here. Then take the second dirt road to the left. Thank you again for doing this."

I smiled warmly at her. "Her name is Ana right?" I asked. Angela nodded.

"Yeah, well actually it's Anabelle, but most everyone calls her Ana." She explained. "She's my best friend."

_Anabelle_. I rolled the name over my tongue. I was very interested to know her. The shallow side of me wondered what she looked like. The mere flashes of a round faced girl were not enough to actually picture her.

It wasn't long at all before we were traveling down the washed out dirt road and pulled up to the old two story home. It had a look of wear on it, but in a well-loved way instead of neglected.

As we walked up the couple of steps to the porch I listened for anything moving inside the home. I thought I heard something…a heart beat?

Coming closer to the door we both noticed it was not closed all the way. We shared a solemn look then walked inside.

Just beside the door was a pile of wet clothes and dry backpack. She was here.

"Ana?" Angela called. I heard a mumble coming from the room beside us and traveled left into the living room. A bundle of blankets was shaking slightly on the couch.

"Ana!" Angela cried moving quickly over to the bundle. Gently she eased down the blankets to reveal a face that made my long since dead heart race.

She was beautiful. Her face was rounded, but had a heart-shaped look to it. Her cheekbones were high tinted with the slightest bit of red, as was her nose. Ah. Her nose; it was adorable. No too long, but straight edged and rounding into a gentle curve down to her lips. Her mouth could best be described as generous. It was wide and full. But of all the things I was most fascinated with her eyes.

They were in perfect symmetry with the rest of her face, slightly upturned at the corners like fresh almonds. Long dark lashes rimmed the curve accenting the shape. I ached to see their color. Almost as if she heard my request her eyes slowly opened confusion knitting in her brow as she registered Angela's face. Her eyes were mesmerizing. They reminded me of the sky before it stormed; steely blue clouds whipped in circles of ice surrounded by a thin dark blue ring.

"Ang?" The weak voice called. It sounded like a mixture of whisky and silk. Smooth to hear, but packing a wallop. Angela was crying looking at her friends face.

"Hey, don't cry Ang. I'm ok." Ana told her tenderly, reaching a bare arm out to pat Angela.

"When you didn't show up to school I was so worried. And then I found out what Tyler did and I panicked. I thought you…" Angela couldn't finish her sentence as her voice was caught with emotion.

The girl gave Angela a sweet smile. "You are a great friend Ang. Sorry to worry you. I fell asleep as soon as I got warm." She said sheepishly. She sniffed then coughed a little. Angela's eye's widened.

"You're sick." Ana opened her mouth in what appeared to be protest, but Angela silenced her_. "You are sick_. I need to get you to a doctor."

Anabelle smiled at her friend instead of getting annoyed with the pushiness. I wondered what she was thinking. Suddenly I realized that I couldn't hear her. I could hear her heart beat, breathing, even the rustle of blankets against her skin as she moved just slightly, but I could not hear her thoughts.

Yet again I was astounded. This had never happened to me before. I would have been afraid I had completely lost the ability, but I could hear Angela's thoughts crystal clear. She had been planning a speech on why Anabelle needed to go to a doctor if she refused.

I tried focusing harder but it was to no avail, my frustration was growing. What was she _thinking?_

"I don't need a doctor Ang. I just need some rest, and maybe a little cold medicine." She was barely able to finish the sentence without coughing. Angela started shaking her head giving Anabelle an annoyed glare.

"You were in the freaking rain for hours I'm sure, probably half frozen. And you don't want to see a doctor just to make sure you're alright?" Angela asked incredulously. Ana grimaced. "Are you trying to piss me off? Seriously Ana, you could have pneumonia or something. Please just come with me and get a check-up, that way if you die I won't be guilt ridden that I did everything in my power to make sure you were ok."

I almost laughed at the last part. Especially at the look Ana gave Angela. She crinkled one brow in while shooting the other one up, scrunched up her nose, and tilted her head to the side. It seemed as if she was trying to convey that she thought Angela was being silly. Her face relaxed after a second and she laughed.

"You aren't going to be satisfied until I go to the doctor are you?" Angela grinned knowing she had won.

"Nope."

"I suppose I have no choice then." Ana sighed with feigned dejection, then coughed. Then she knit her brows in confusion. "When did you get your car back? I thought it was still in the shop."

"I didn't get it back, it's still there waiting for Jason to put a new radiator in it." Angela replied mirroring Ana's confusion.

"Well then you're gonna have to show me your new trick." Ana said with a serious face.

Angela gave her a bewildered look. "Are you delusional? What are you talking about?"

"Teleporting. I'm assuming that's how you got here today." Clarity struck Angela's face suddenly and she laughed.

"Edward brought me." She said looking over in my direction. Ana's gaze followed. I felt her surprise as she noticed I was here for the first time. Then her look slowly faded into a small smile.

"Well jeeze Angie, why didn't you say something? You need to work on your people skills; if this was an etiquette class you would have failed abominably." Anabelle teased her friend. Her voice was so husky, probably from coughing, but dear God it was a sexy sound. Angela blushed a little feeling embarrassed because she knew Ana was right.

"Sorry. I was so relived to not find you dead lying on the side of the road I forgot about everything."

"Jeeze Louise stop planning my death already. I already told you, I'm gonna die when I'm 111 hang gliding over Mt. Everest."

"I thought it was skydiving." Angela said amused.

"Meh, I'm still debating on the particulars. I might decide to go snorkeling with sharks instead. Either way it will be on my 111 birthday so you can relax for now."

Unable to hold back I laughed at the absurdity of the conversation, bringing both of their attentions back to me. Anabelle gave me an appreciative smile.

"It's gonna happen." She told me, and coughed yet again. "Anyways. I'm Ana Swan."

"Edward Cullen. It's a pleasure to meet you." I nodded my head in a sort of bow.

"Likewise." She replied inclining her head towards me. Upon tilting her head down she froze and her entire face turned red and her eyes went wide. When she looked back up her whole face was pink with embarrassment. I was trying to figure out the cause of it when I noticed her hand push the blankets up further around her. The image of a pile of wet clothes by the front door came back to me. She was naked. I felt an involuntary spasm of heat go through me at the thought.

"I will wait outside while you get ready. I'm sure Angie is anxious to get you to a doctor." Then I turned and walked out the door.

**Anabelle's POV**

"Well that was subtle." I half laughed half groaned. I was still in minor shock at looking up to find a major hottie, hunka I-wanna-do-naughty-things-to-you kinda guy in my home. Now I wasn't sure if the dizziness I was feeling was all from being sick.

Angela gave me a funny look. "He walked outside because he realized I'm sitting here in my birthday suit. Thank God I was cold when you guys walked in. You both would have gotten an eye full." Angela giggled at me. I did too though. And coughed. Ugh, my throat was starting to hurt now.

"Well that's nothing I haven't seen before." Angela pointed out as we walked upstairs together to my bedroom.

"Well I'm not worried about you, goose. I'm not sure Edward would have appreciated the assault."

Angela gave me a severe look. _Here we go._ "You're beautiful Ana. And you have a beautiful body. I don't understand why you say things like that." She sighed at me sitting on the edge of my queen sized bed as I made my way over to my dresser.

"You're too sweet Angela. You have a really good heart. I don't think anyone is ugly in your eyes." The words might have sounded condescending or ridiculing, but coming from me they were spoken from a deep place in my heart with love and affection for my best friend. She knew I meant them.

"I think Mike, Ben, and James are ugly. And I'm starting to think Tyler is too." Angela told me. "But you, even if I didn't know you Ana, I would think you are beautiful."

I had discretely been putting on underwear and a bra while holding the blankets around me, but at Angela's words I dropped them.

"Look at me Ang." I told her turning my body towards hers. "I'm fat. No matter how pretty my face might be, and I'm not saying it is, nobody even looks past my size to see it." Angela was tearing up again. I hated these conversations. I was not even feeling good enough to be fighting.

"But you aren't fat. No you aren't skinny, but the alternative doesn't have to be that you're fat. So what if you have love handles and thighs that giggle? It looks good on you. Don't let those a-holes at school make you think otherwise. I know they've tortured you since you came here, and it's hard to let go what mean things they say, but they are wrong. And I'm tempted to have Edward come up here to prove it to you." The last bit made me freeze and then laugh. Angie started laughing with me too.

"You would not!" I exclaimed rushing to throw on some jeans and my favorite sweater.

"I would too!" Angela told me adamantly. "Say you're fat or ugly one more time and I will."

"Ok, ok. I'm sorry Ang. And really I haven't been bothered with those thoughts in a while, I guess yesterday's ordeal had me feeling crappy about myself." Which was true, I did feel like crap, but I also believed everything I had said. Angie probably knew better, but she didn't call me out on it.

Instead she looked at me sympathetically. "You should never feel bad about yourself because of them. They are the ones that should feel bad. Besides I think the only reason they say those things is because they are jealous. Believe me I would kill to have your body. Being a shrimp is not fun."

"You aren't a shrimp. You're adorable. And if I was a lesbian I would gobble you up in half a heartbeat." We both giggled at the statement. There had been multiple occasions where some people thought we were lesbians because we were so close with each other. But it was completely platonic. She's just my best friend and that's how best friends are sometimes.

"Let's get going. I don't want to keep Edward waiting."

I nodded agreeing. We headed downstairs. "So he's new here right?" Angie nodded her head.

"Yeah, I mean today is the first time I've seen him." I thought about that was we walked out to meet Edward on the porch. He had an odd look on his face, one I couldn't place. As if he disagreed with something, but what I wasn't sure. Even so looking at him again was a shock to my senses. He was so delicious. Commence coughing attack. Maybe I would make it through the day.

Probably six feet tall with a chiseled look to him, like he was made out of stone. Alabaster stone that is. Lord his skin was so white I'm fairly sure he could easily blend in with the snow. His face looked softer than the rest of him though, it had a kindness to it. His jaw was strong looking, mouth full and red, and a perfect straight edge nose. His eyes were the best though. They were bright emerald green that faded into molten gold near the iris. Like sunshine on a lush field. I felt captivated.

"So ready to go?" He asked me another curious look crossing his face. I was probably gawking. Which is creepy. Cough awkwardly, it was mostly non contrived though.

"Oh you don't have to take me. I can drive my truck. You two should probably get back to school before someone notices you're missing."

"I'm not worried about it." Edward told me with a grin. Uhhh… holy crap… Now I feel dizzy again. It's his smiles. No, no I just don't feel good. I'm sick remember. Right. Sick. Cough.

"Angie? Don't you have a test today?" I asked snapping out of my stupor. Apparently she had forgotten too.

"Crap! I forgot!" I laughed at her.

"I'll take you back."

"But I can't leave you now. You won't go to the doctor. Don't give me that look, you know you wouldn't." I grinned sheepishly, damn she knew me too well.

"I will make sure she sees a doctor." Edward put in. I felt like smacking him a little. Maybe I would. On the… No! Don't go there Swan!

"There you go see? Now let me get you back to school." Angela sighed and I knew I had won. Well if winning meant I now had to go to the doctor, insert cough and sigh.

"No sense in taking two cars. You can ride with me. I will drop Angela off at school and then take you to the doctor." Edward offered smiling. I wasn't really up to driving, things were starting to look a little fuzzy, not because of the smiles though I assured myself.

It wasn't long before we dropped Angie off at school with my solemnly swearing that I would go to the doctor and bring back a slip to prove it. Angie could be really pushy sometimes.

Edward and I were just now leaving the school.

"There's no way I could bribe you to take me home and forget about this doctor nonsense is there?" I asked Edward as we neared town. I might have gotten away with it, but coughing seemed like all my lungs wanted to do these days.

"Not on your life."

**Yay another chapter updated!. And some Bella/ Edward introduction!**

**Did you like? I did. Hahaha (laughing at own joke…)**


	4. Doctor

**Chapter 4: Doctor**

**Edward's POV**

"Not on your life." I told her teasingly, but it was true. Her coughing definitely didn't help her plea. She frowned and sighed dejectedly. It brought my attention back to her and reminded me of her conversation with Angela. I had been standing on the porch intently listening to what they might say in my absence, looking through Angela's mind to see what was going on. I had felt like blushing at Ana's mention of my subtlety at leaving do to her lack proper clothing.

I wasn't sure what I expected, but their discussion was far from anything I would have imagined. I was having a very difficult time understanding Ana's attitude towards her own body. The comment of assault had struck a funny chord in me. Her looks had been an assault to me, just not in the way she meant it. When she dropped the blankets from around her I felt desire run through me with more fierceness than I could imagine. Seeing her through Angela's eyes, all I saw was beauty beyond anything I could describe.

Her figure was not thin or frail, but curved and plump. I surmised that some might, at first glance, consider her chubby. She had a large bust that dipped in slightly towards her waist accenting the size of her chest. Moving down, her waist tapered in just slightly then flared out a little into delicious looking "love handles." She had thick thighs that narrowed down into shapely calves and ankles. The daintiness of her feet seemed at contrast with the rest of her full figure, but were charming none the less.

Angela was right, Ana was far from fat. She was absolutely gorgeous. I could not fathom why she would think otherwise. I mentally shook my head, wondering for what seemed like the billionth time _what was she thinking?_

"Are you sure there's nothing at all I could bribe you with? Lunch? Dinner? A striptease?" The last part was said on a laugh/ cough, and I could not help but grin.

"You would give me a striptease to get out of going to the doctor?" I asked laughing, but not believing.

She seemed to consider for a moment looking at me intently. "Maybe if I really thought it'd work, but I can see that it won't." There was a light teasing element to her words, but her eyes showed a seriousness and depth I could hardly fathom.

"True, but I can compromise with you." Her eyes lit up at my words. "My dad is a doctor, he just took over Dr. Tarpley's practice in town. He can give you a quick checkup. I promise it would be painless." I watched her eyes lose some of their brightness, but she seemed to be contemplating agreeing. "And after it's over I'll take you out for lunch." I wasn't sure why I added the last part, getting close to anyone was not a good idea yet here I was wanting to get a close as possible to this mysterious beautiful creature.

Ana looked at me a bit skeptically then shrugged her shoulders. "Ok. But lunch isn't necessary."

"I'd like to." I insisted.

She shrugged again then coughed slightly. "So does being new suck?" There was a note of humor in her voice. It made me smile.

"Only every other second. The ones in between aren't so bad." She gave a soft laugh and coughed.

"That's better than nothing I suppose. Seconds add up. By the end of the year you may have whole days of non-suckiness added up."

"Ah, I'll be looking forward to that then."

Ana shook her head and laughed a little. "How did you meet Angie? She said ya'll only just met today."

"Oh, uh," Why hadn't I thought she might ask that? "We had English together this morning, although we didn't really speak to each other until lunch." There, that was honest.

"Why did you take her to come find me?"

She would be the most direct human I have ever met. No easy brush off would work here. I wanted to laugh at myself on the irony of it. The one human I would be interested in does not work with subtleties.

"Word got around about what happened and to be honest it pissed me off. Angela was upset and uncertain if you had made it home. I couldn't sit passively by if something like that was possible. So I offered to help." I was much more honest than I intended to be, but it seemed right.

She gave me a long searching look; as if she knew I was leaving something out. It was only a small coughing fit that interrupted her piercing gaze.

There wasn't much time for more conversation after that as we were already pulling up to the short brick building where my dad worked. We walked inside together. The receptionist smiled at me as I walked inside.

"Hi Sherri, is Carlisle busy?"

"No, his last patient just left a few minutes ago. He's back in the office if you want to see him."

"Thank you." I nodded towards Sherri; starting to make my way towards Carlisle's office when I noticed Ana wasn't following me.

"Do you want to talk to him alone first?" She asked me. I shook my head, knowing Carlisle wouldn't mind.

"Come, follow me."

We walked down the long hallway to a fair sized room in the back. Carlisle was sitting at his desk putting in patient information. He had heard me when I first entered the building and my exchange with Sherri.

_Everything okay? You are supposed to be in school you know._ He thought looking up at me and then to Ana. He gave her a warm smile though.

"Hey Carlisle." I said trying to act normal for Ana.

"Hello Edward. Who is your friend?" he asked walking over towards us. Ana gave him a big warm smile with no hint of hesitation.

"I'm Anabelle Swan. I go by Ana though." Her voice was hoarse from all the coughing, but she said it fairly cheerfully, then offered her hand and Carlisle took it genially.

_Sweet. And sick. _He frowned just a fraction_. _

"Well it is a pleasure to meet you Ana. I am Dr. Carlisle Cullen. You seem a little peaked. Feeling under the weather?"

Ana nodded her head a tad and laughed. "Unfortunately. Edward said it would be alright if you gave me a check-up. Normally I would have made an appointment ahead of time, but my meddling friend insisted I see a doctor immediately." She explained easily. Carlisle was already half-way charmed by her direct yet easygoing attitude. It also helped that Ana fairly oozed sweetness. "Do I need to schedule one now?"

"That won't be necessary. Come with me to one of the exam rooms. Edward you can stay in the office until we are done." I didn't like it. I'm sure Carlisle could tell.

_It is not proper for you to be in her examination room_. He thought to me.

So I stayed behind, listening to them as they walked just across the hall to a small room. I could hear Ana as she hopped up on the elevated bed, the sanitary paper crinkling in the process.

"So are you one of Edward's classmates?" Carlisle asked coming over to take her blood pressure.

"I don't know. He just showed up at my house." She said teasingly. Carlisle laughed, but waited for the real answer. "I'm pretty sure we're in the same English class, but I don't really know. I wasn't in school today." I could almost feel the frown form on Carlisle's face as he tried to figure out how we had met, and why I brought her here. Fortunately Ana wasn't holding back.

"I guess I better start at the beginning." She said coughing just a little. "I was out in the rain yesterday evening." Carlisle was startled by that statement.

"There was a severe thunderstorm all night." He said. "Why were you out in that weather?" I heard him walking over to the counter to set the blood pressure pump down. He turned back to her stethoscope in hand. Not that he needed it for the exam.

"Well, I was sort of stranded kinda far away from where I live. I had to walk back you see. I didn't really have anyone to come get me anyways."

I could see her through Carlisle's eyes. She looked embarrassed and sad. Carlisle was aching for her too.

_What has she been put through?_

We both knew a lot more was at hand than what she chose to tell.

"Take a deep breath for me." Carlisle instructed as he listened to her heart and lungs. She definitely had mucus buildup. Her lungs were nearly wheezing. "Sorry to interrupt. Please continue," He prompted when she didn't pick up from where she left off.

"Oh well, I made it home okay, but then I kinda passed out on the couch and didn't make it to school. My friend Angela got worried when I didn't show up or answer my phone. She wanted to check on me, but her car is in the shop. I'm guessing Edward offered to drive her." Ana explained.

Carlisle mulled this over as he continued his exam. "Okay I need you to stick out your tongue and say ahhhh."

Ana did as asked, so he could look at her throat. It was raw from coughing and had some pus pockets. Carlisle took a swab. Ana gagged.

"Sorry." She mumbled.

"No. It's a perfectly natural reaction to someone sticking things down your throat." They both laughed. "I'm afraid it looks like you may have strep throat." Ana nodded.

"Yeah I figured. Feels like I swallowed a cheese grater." Was her disgruntled reply. Carlisle suppressed a chuckle.

"An unfortunate symptom. Did you come here when Dr. Tarpley was the residing doctor?" Ana nodded her consent. "Then I should have all your patient and insurance information on file. I can prescribe some antibiotics to help clear that up." Carlisle scribbled over a notepad and entered a few things into the computer at his side.

"Okay. Can I use over the counter cough medicine?"

"That should be fine. Are you feeling any nausea? Lightheadedness?"

"No to the nausea. Yes on the lightheadedness. But I haven't eaten in over twenty-four hours, so that could be the cause there." Carlisle nodded.

"That is a possibility. Would you like me to send the prescription in to the local pharmacy for you?"

"Yes please." Carlisle made a few more entries in the computer before turning back to Ana.

"Alright, it is done. Aside from the antibiotics, I want you to drink a lot of water some non-acidic beverages like Gatorade should be fine too. I think soup would be a good idea for meals in the meantime. Anything else might irritate your throat more."

"Okay I can do that."

"Well, you are set to go then." With that they both walked out and back to the office were I was currently sitting, pretending as if I hadn't heard the entire exchange.

Carlisle gave me a knowing look. Even though I was the mind reader, he always seem to know what I was thinking.

_I assume you will be taking Ana home?_ I nodded just enough for him to see. _Good. Pick up her prescription from Blue Jay's Pharmacy. It should be ready in fifteen minutes_. I nodded again, trying not to smile. He was protective of Ana already too.

"Everything go well?" I asked maintaining the pretense of cluelessness.

"I don't know if finding out you have strep is good, but at least I'm not dying." Was Ana's good natured reply. Carlisle chuckled.

"Yes well you will be contagious for the next few days. I would advise you to stay home for the rest of the week. Get some rest, and eat," Carlisle added with a pointed look. Ana blushed.

"Can I get a note from you? It's more for Angie's sake than anything. She won't believe I went to the doctor without one." Carlisle laughed, but scribbled on the doctor's slip and handed to Ana.

"That should be good for both the school and your friend."

"Thank you very much. For the check-up and the note."

"Not at all. Anytime you're feeling unwell pop in and I will be more than happy to check you over. If you still are not feeling better in a few days, I want you to come back. I doubt it will come to that, but better safe than sorry." Ana smiled graciously.

"Okay. I will. Thanks again." Ana called heading out. I shared a look with Carlisle, I would explain more later.

"See you at home Edward."

After getting settled back in the car I looked over at Ana. She was watching me curiously.

"What?"

"Thank you for taking me here. Your dad is really nice." I smiled at her, warmed by her simple praise.

"Yes, Carlisle is a good man. So, are you hungry?" she nodded her head shyly.

"Yeah. Carlisle said I should have soup for the next few days. But I don't think you should take me anywhere. I'm contagious and I don't want to get you sick." She looked worried.

I hadn't thought of that. Even though I knew it was impossible, she didn't. What's a reasonable lie?

"Don't worry. I have an impeccable immune system. I think it's because Carlisle brought home germs all the time when I was little. I never get sick." There, that was a good excuse. Ana looked doubtful. "Besides if I was going to get sick from being around you, I imagine the germs are already got to me from earlier." At that she laughed and then coughed.

She threw up her hands in defeat. "Okay, but I don't want to get anyone else sick. I should probably just go home."

She had me there.

"I know of this little diner just down the street. How about I get us some soup to go? Then we can pick up your prescription."

She gave me another searching look. Was I being too forward?

"That is a very kind offer, but I don't like to think I may be putting you out. I can come to town later to get the medicine, and I have soup at home."

"Ahh, I see. You don't want to have lunch with me," I teased. "It's because I'm white isn't it?" My words had exactly the effect I wanted. She laughed.

"You caught me. I could never eat soup in public with a white guy." She smiled a little more. "Seriously though I'd rather just pick up some from the store and make it at home."

"Alright, you compromised with me, I will for you. To the supermarket. Awayyyy."

**Yay! Another chapter :D**

**If you have read this story before, I know, I've changed things, but I needed to make it better and hopefully I have.**

**Thank you to everyone who has read this far! If you want to leave some love or criticism I will take both willingly. **


	5. Soup & Conversation

**Chapter 5: Soup &amp; Conversation**

It wasn't long before we were walking down the soup isle. Ana surprised me though and passed all the soup.

"Uh the soup is back there." I told her, one brow raised in question. She crinkled her nose.

"I am _not_ eating canned soup." She declared then picked out a few cans of chicken broth where she was standing.

"I thought that was why we came here?" There may have been an edge of exasperation in my voice. Ana just laughed at me.

"I like to make my own soup. The canned stuff has way too much sodium, and it's all processed. I like fresh veggies and stuff." She explained. "Honestly I don't really like to use packaged broth, but it takes a while to make so I'm settling here."

I just started laughing. She looked bewildered. "To the veggies?" She nodded her head.

When she only picked out potatoes, a few herbs, and some celery I started to wonder what kind of soup she was planning to make. As if she knew my thoughts Ana clued me in.

"I'm making homemade chicken veggie soup. I only need a few things for that, and I have a lot of stuff at the house already." I just nodded my head in agreement, this human was almost too much for me to handle. She kept doing the unexpected.

"Your prescription should be ready by now. Are you done here?"

"Yup, lets go get my drugs." I shook my head at her. "What, that's what they are?"

"Gonna go sell them underneath the bridge later?" I teased. Instead of laughing her eyes went somber. There was an edge of memory, sadness, and hurt. I wondered what triggered it. Surely my teasing didn't upset her. Did it?

She didn't answer me, but just walked silently to the counter and asked for her medicine, then picked up some cough syrup along the way. It wasn't until we were back in the car headed to her place that either of us spoke.

"Are you alright?" I asked hesitantly. She nodded her head.

"Oh yeah. I'm fine. Just a little tired." She softly laughed, but it didn't reach her eyes.

When we reached her place I took the groceries inside for her. This time we walked past the living room to her kitchen. It was a nice little space with cheerful yellow walls and white lace curtains. The counter was "L" shaped with the fridge at the short end and a dishwasher and stove on the long side. Light brown cabinets followed the counter, and a microwave was built in just above the stove. There was a small island a few feet away with more cabinets and two tall stools. I set the groceries there, then moved over to the left where a round wooden table sat with four chairs around it.

I pulled a chair out and sat down. Ana was leaning against the counter looking at me.

"Thanks for helping me out today. I really do appreciate it."

"It was no big deal. I really didn't mind helping."

"Did you want to stay? I didn't want to assume one way or the other."

"I'd love to. Can I help with anything? You look really tired." And she did. The circles under her eyes were darker now and the way she leaned against the counter told me her energy was flagging.

"Yeah. I am tired. If I give you direction could you start everything up?" I nodded. She moved around the island and pulled out a medium pot, a cutting board, a few knives, and all the ingredients for the soup.

"Okay pour all that broth in the pot. Set it on medium heat." She told me then sat down one of the stools.

I did as she asked and took a seat next to her. "Now we just need to chop stuff to put in there. Here take the celery. I need some pieces about this size." She held up her fingers to show me the measurement. I complied. While I chopped celery, she cut up the herbs at a surprisingly fast pace.

"Wow you are really good at that." She gave me a weak smile.

"I love to cook." She handed me a few potatoes and I followed her lead. Next was the zucchini, then squash, and after that we shelled some peas. While we chopped Ana made light conversation with me.

"So tell me about yourself Edward."

"What would you like to know?" I was always hesitant to answers these types of questions. I couldn't just say, 'well I'm a century old vampire and I like music.'

"Well, where are you from?"

"Montana." Her eyes widened.

"Wow that's a good way's from here. What made ya'll decide to move, especially so late in the year?"

I wondered at how much I could tell her. The exact truth of course was not an option, but maybe something comparable.

"Carlisle wanted to move away from where we were. He was tired of working in a hospital and really wanted his own space to practice. We have moved around quite a bit and we were all missing somewhere warmer, hence we moved."

She didn't seem very satisfied by my answer. I waited for her to say something, but she didn't. We chopped veggies in silence for a minute before she spoke again.

"I noticed you called your dad by his name. Is that normal up north?"

"Oh, well Carlisle is my adoptive father." Her eyes shot up in surprise. I knew she was thinking about our resemblance. We all looked very much alike.

"You know I never know what to say to that. I mean there is the obviously nosy questions about what happened to your real parents, if you're happy with your adoptive parents, and so on. Sorry if that came out badly."

"No it's perfectly fine. My parents died a long time ago, I hardly remember them. Carlisle and Esme have been parents to me for most of my life. I consider them to be my real family. I guess I should also tell you I have two sisters and two brothers as well. We are all adopted."

Ana looked fascinated. She opened her mouth to say something then stopped.

I looked to Ana waiting for her to continue.

"What?"

"You looked like you were going to say something." I told her.

"Oh. I just don't want to bother you with all my questions, but I was just wondering what are they like? Your brothers and sisters I mean."

I laughed. "It's really no problem. Well Emmett is the oldest, he and I, and Alice were adopted at very young ages so we grew up as more real brothers and sisters. He is a major goof. Alice is like a pixy. She bounces around all over the place and has a serious shopping addiction. Then there is Rosalie. She is actually Rosalie Hale both her and her brother Jasper were added to the family much later on when we were a lot older. Rose is beautiful, but conceited and Jasper is very quiet. More somber, but friendly."

"They sound wonderful. Are they in school too?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah. Emmett and Rose are seniors, while Alice, Jasper, and I are all juniors."

"Oh wow, so ya'll must be a very close knit family then."

"Yeah. I'm not sure how you would feel about this, but actually Emmett and Rose are together as are Alice and Jasper." I waited to see the ridicule in her eyes but there was none. The opposite actually.

"Aww. That is so sweet. I bet you feel like the odd one out sometimes though." The minute the words left her mouth she turned red and coughed. "Oh gosh I'm so sorry. That was rude. You probably have a girlfriend." She said laughing at herself. I thought it was funny she would think that.

"Actually you were right the first time. I do feel like the odd one out and I do not have a girlfriend."

Ana cheeks were still red, nibbling on her lip. She coughed although it seemed more out of embarrassment than need.

"Well I'm sorry. That still sucks. But you're pretty gorgeous so I imagine finding a girlfriend would be easy if you wanted one."

My eyes shot up in surprise. She thought I was gorgeous. It made me feel warm inside to know that she thought so.

"Uh. Thank you." I laughed feeling a little nervous. Ana groaned. It was throaty and did things to me I had never felt before.

"Apparently along with strep, I have word vomit. I feel like an idiot. I'm not hitting on you I promise." I laughed. I hadn't even thought that.

"I didn't think you were." I wanted to ask her if she had a boyfriend, but I couldn't bring myself to. There was so much she said or did that I did not understand. It was killing me not knowing what was going on in her head. Her expressions were easy to read, but I wanted the words. I wanted to know exactly what she was thinking.

"What are you thinking?" Surprisingly she had asked me the question.

I laughed. "I was actually wondering what you were thinking." She laughed too.

"Oh. That's funny. Well I guess I'm thinking that we should put all this in the pot now." So we did. Then placed the lid on while the veggies cooked.

"Don't we need to add chicken?" Ana shook her head.

"I don't really feel like it anymore, if that's okay?" It didn't bother me, but I wondered if that was good for her not having any protein.

"Do you like beans? I was thinking of adding some since I won't be using meat."

"Sounds good to me." So she did.

"It'll need about thirty minutes or so."

"Alright."

"It's a pretty day, surprising since we had all that rain yesterday." Ana said looking out the back door. "I think I'd like to go outside and sit in the sunshine. Would you care to do that?" She didn't look at me. She was busy smiling into the sun that was streaming in through the glass on the door. It took me a moment to answer as I was struck by how beautiful she looked.

"Um. Yeah." She glanced quickly at me with a soft smile and opened the door. I followed her through it.

On the back patio there was an awning with a wooden swing hanging down and two green cushions adorned it. Ana walked over and starting patting the cushion. The action confused me.

"Looking for something?"

She glanced over her shoulder. "What? Huh? Oh! No, I was checking to see if the cushions were wet." She sat down. "They're dry, join me if you like."

I was tempted, so I walked over, but instead of sitting down I leaned against the railing and watched her. Her eyes were closed again and her head rested back against the seat. She was lazily pushing the swing by rocking the tip of her foot back and forth across the ground.

Her eyes opened and she looked up and over at me. Something about the way she looked made me feel exposed, and I knew if I had a beating heart I would be blushing from head to toe.

"What?" she asked me. I must have been looking at her intently too.

"I was wondering about you. You asked me to tell you about myself. Now I'm curious about you."

Her eyes opened a little wider with surprise, but she smiled.

"Hmm... what would you like to know?" I had to laugh. She used my own words against me.

"Have you lived here your whole life?" Her expression darkened again, like before in the grocery store.

"Um, no. I lived in Georgia for a little while." Although I was glad she responded, I could tell there was a lot more to it. I wanted to ask, but I could tell she didn't want to talk about it.

"Any brothers or sisters?" Ana shook her head.

"No, just me. There was a time when I wished I had an older brother, but that was a long time ago." Just a ghost of smile was on her lips. "It's lonely, not having anyone to talk to." Her eyes held so much sadness. There was a story and pain there.

"So what does Ana like to do for fun?" I asked hoping to bring her smile back. It worked.

"Ana loves to read. She probably has an addiction, but that's okay. What about Edward? What does Edward like to do?"

"Edward likes to read too. And play the piano." Her eyes lit up.

"Really? Are you good? I have a feeling you are." I laughed at her.

"I am."

"Very humble." She teased me. "I've always loved the way a piano sounds. It's such a soulful instrument. I know, I know there are probably others that are more, like the sax and guitar, but something about a piano just clenches me. Ya know? Like it grabs you by the lungs and holds on until you feel dizzy with emotions. You can just drown in it. The vibrations in your fingertips down to your toes. It always gives me goose bumps.

"It can just make me smile and relax me. A lighthearted piece, that jumps and tittles. And then other times, I can be in the best mood ever, but put on a soft sad piano piece and I start bawling."

I felt in awe of how she could connect to me on such a basic level. The others knew how much I loved the piano, but none of them really felt like I did, or even understood it, not really. But Ana, she got it.

"How do you do that?" The words were out before I could call them back. Ana looked startled by my intensity.

"How do I do what?" Her voice was soft, still a little hoarse, but sexy as hell.

"Connect to me. I've never had someone who understood my love of piano as well as you do." I couldn't help the honesty. Looking into her eyes was like a truth serum to me. There was no way I could lie.

She blushed. "Then you must not be spending time with piano lovers. I think we all feel that way, at least to some degree."

"Who's your favorite?" She crinkled her nose.

"Ugh, I guess speaking solely on piano pieces alone, and not orchestra compositions, oh God. Chopin?" She said it with a wince. "But God I love Beethoven. He just gets me. Ahhh, I can't choose between them. Don't make me." I laughed. "And now I'm thinking of every single pianist I love dearly. I mean there's Tchaikovsky, Rubenstein, Rachmaninoff, Kissin, and so many more. Not that I know a lot, because I don't at all. I can't tell you anything about music, but I love to listen to it."

I loved that she didn't just spout off the two most famous pianists and pretend like she knew something. I loved that she admitted ignorance, even though she has some familiarity to artists outside of the Mozart and Bach.

"Marry me?" Ana laughed hard at that.

"Sure why not." Then she gave me a wink. Wait did I just propose? Did she just accept? It was just a joke. _Calm down Edward_.

"So should I book a flight to Vegas now?"

"Hmm a casino wedding," she playfully tapped her chin in mock contemplation. And then we both laughed. "I don't think I could do Vegas love, sorry."

I clutched my heart in pretend hurt, but I swear I almost felt it patter at her calling me 'love.' _Jeeze Edward get a grip_!

"Only a big white wedding will do for you mon cheri?" Ana shook her head a smile on her lips.

"Make that a small white wedding and I'm yours." She did it again. That voice so husky and piercing gaze made me almost believe it. I just laughed at her to ease the tension building in my stomach.

I barely knew her and she was already affecting me more than any other person, dead or alive ever had before.

After the play talk of weddings we kept conversation light. It was delightful talking to her of all manner of things, although mostly it was music. We continued our conversation over dinner. It was amazing how relaxed I felt. I hadn't felt so carefree in such a long time.

After we had eaten I could see Ana was getting very tired. She needed rest and I felt bad for not letting her do so sooner. When I told her as much she said I was silly.

"I've been having a wonderful day. The best sick day yet." She laughed at me.

"Still I think I should go so you can rest."

"Alright, alright." So we walked to the door. "Thank you for everything today Edward. I'll by you lunch one day as payback." She told me with a sleepy smile.

"I really didn't mind. Go get some rest."

"Ok, ok. Bye Edward."

"Bye Anabelle."

**I want to give an enormous thank you to all who have read my story this far! Please leave me some love! :D**


	6. Changes

**Chapter 6: Changes**

**Anabelle's POV**

I was filled with a mixture of dread and anticipation as I headed out for school the following Monday. On the one hand I was loathe to see Mike or any of his cronies, but on the other I was excited to see Edward. It had been since last Thursday that I had seen him, when we had eaten soup and talked.

I had been baffled at his kindness towards me. He didn't even know me, yet he had helped Angie find me and make sure I saw a doctor, and then even going as far as having lunch with me. It was weird, but in a good way. I had very little experience with guys since my arrival here, and most of them were not good. This was a completely new experience for me. I wondered what he thought about me.

_Probably not much at all_.

Guys as gorgeous as he never thought much about plain girls like me. Maybe I was being unfair, he had been interested in my well-being. Guys had to be at least a little bit interested in the person for that right? I shook my head at myself. _I am thinking way too much into this._

I had never before been so fascinated by a guy. They were usually jerks with only boobs, sex and video games on their minds. _Ok maybe I'm being unfair again, there are probably other guys that think about other things too._ Just not any of the ones I had met so far…except maybe Edward.

But there was something about him that I couldn't figure out. Aside from his phenomenal good looks, there was a hint of danger or at least a warning I felt. Not that I had felt threatened by him, the opposite actually. I felt very safe with him. There was just a feeling I got, like he was holding back something. Whatever it might be I knew it wasn't my business, but I was curious all the same.

Curiosity. My one true weakness (well aside from chocolate).

My insatiable desire to know more about things I became interested in, got me into trouble more times than I could count. Getting distracted by something unimportant to others was a part of my daily ritual. Why things enticed me so much I had no clue, only that they just did.

Edward was now one of those things.

I couldn't help but re-analyze everything about him, marveling at every detail. His sharp eyes, the quirk to his mouth when bemused, his drawn brow in thought, and the way he looked at people, as if he knew something they didn't know.

I laughed at myself. I was getting obsessed and I barely knew the guy.

As the school came into sight I felt a tremor go through me. I shook off the nerves heading to class as if everything were fine. My apprehension increased as I saw Mike standing outside the hallway, the exact way I needed to go to get to class. There was no way around him either.

_Do what you always to Ana. Just pretend he doesn't exist. Just look down and keep walking._

"Well look whose back. You're just a faker aren't you?" Mike taunted me. I ignored him and continued to walk past. He reached out and grabbed my arm stopping me.

_Crap._

"I was talking to you Ana." His grip tightened and eyes turned vicious. It took all of my self-control to seem bored.

"Oh hello Mike. I didn't hear you. Lost in thought I suppose." I lied giving him a nonchalant look. He loosened his hold but kept his hand on my arm.

"You always have your head in the clouds, someone needs to bring you back down. So you weren't in school the rest of last week. It caused quite the stir. Everyone thought you had finally offed yourself." He was baiting me, trying to give himself a reason to hurt me. I gave a false laugh instead.

"I was just a little under the weather. Being out in the rain does that." I couldn't resist adding the last part. Mike sneered at me.

"I was just trying to help you out ya know. Help you get some exercise. Maybe if you weren't so fat you could have convinced Tyler to take you home." The words should have angered me, but I had heard some variation more times than I could remember to care anymore. So I did what I do best instead. I laughed, but didn't respond.

"You know Ana, we could stop all of this. I would stop everything." Mike told me his eyes turning a mixture of smoldering and serious and his grip tightening again. It was a frightening mixture.

"At what cost?" I managed to sound very sure of myself, how that occurred I have no idea.

"You know what I want Ana. Just one little thing and I would leave you alone. It wouldn't even take very long." I felt sick at the thought of what he wanted. No doubt it wouldn't take long.

"I thought you weren't into fat chicks." I threw the old taunt back in his face. His eyes got darker and roved my body in a way that made my skin crawl. I felt like pushing him away and screaming for help. Luckily I heard someone coming, but Mike didn't.

"I'd make an exception for you. Come with me Ana."

I really didn't want it to come to this. Mike took rejection worse than anything, but if I didn't speak up I was going to wind up in a very bad place.

"No. Now please let me go." I told him, my voice firm and even.

He face contorted with rage, a face I had seen on more than one occasion. His grip tightening painfully and I wasn't sure what his intention was. Thankfully I never found out.

"Anabelle come in here for a minute I need to talk to you about your essay." Mr. Varner called to me. Mike had no choice but to let me go. He released my arm with a painful twist and thrust.

"This isn't over." He muttered darkly before walking away.

I slowly exhaled a sigh of relief, turning to find Mr. Varner looking at me with worry.

"Are you alright Anabelle?" He asked as I walked towards the class.

"Yeah. I'm better now. Thank you." Mr. Varner nodded his head motioning for me to come inside. He was well aware of how Mike treated me, but his hands were tied to do anything about it. So instead he looked out for me. He really was a sweet man, and my absolute favorite teacher. He kind of reminded me of a young grandfather.

"Anything for my favorite student." He winked trying to lighten the mood. "So how are you really though. I heard about what happened."

I blushed slightly. "I really am ok. I had strep so I even went to the doctor." He gave me a skeptical look making me laugh again. I pulled out the doctor's slip as proof.

"I figured Angie wouldn't believe me either so I got a note." Mr. Varner smiled at his sentiment.

"Alright. As long as you are ok." I nodded my head indicating that I was. "Well feel free to relax today. I'm letting everyone catch up on their group projects and essays today, and since you already turned it in there is nothing for you to do."

"Oh, well that is nice of you to give everyone extra time." Mr. Varner smiled sweetly at me.

"Well let me know if you want a pass to go to the library."

"Thanks, Mr. Varner. I'm gonna wait till Angie gets here first if that's alright."

"Of course. Just let me know." And with that I took my seat at the back of the classroom.

Just as Mr. Varner was leaving the room to monitor the hallway, I saw Edward walk in. He had a troubled look on his face. I wondered what put it there. I was a little disappointed when he didn't come sit by me. Not that I had any right to think he would, I guess I had just hoped.

"Good morning Edward." I called to him. He glanced in my direction, nodded his head, and then returned facing the front of the room, effectively ignoring me. My heart hurt a little at the action. I thought… that's right_, I thought_. I had no right to think anything.

I tried to convince myself that I was alright. That his ignoring me didn't hurt, but it did… a lot. I guess he had found out that I was the school pariah.

This day was turning to Hell quite quickly, I felt the urge to cry. I was even more surprised by that than anything. I _never _cried. It was a pointless action that left me with a headache and a sore nose. I bit back the sting of an emotional onslaught laying my head on the table trying to steady my breathing. Even after I got the urge under control I didn't lift my head. I heard students start to fill the room as it came closer to 8:00 am. It wasn't long before Angie got there.

"Ana?" Angie's soft voice called to me as she sat down. I slowly lifted my head to look at her. It took all my willpower to make my expression emotionless.

"Hey." My voice sounded tight.

"Are you ok hun?" She asked me worriedly. I gave a fake half smile and nodded my head.

"Yeah, it's just been a rough morning."

"Mike?" She asked. I must have looked surprised because she gave me a knowing look.

"How did you know?"

"You only ever act like this when something really bad happens. What did he do?"

"Nothing…yet." In my peripheral vision I saw Edward look in my direction. I wondered why. Angie and I were speaking very quietly to one another and the rest of the class was quite rowdy as Mr. Varner had yet to return. There was no way he could have heard us over all the noise.

"Ut-oh. What did he threaten to do?" Angie's eyes grew even more worried.

"Nothing." Her look turned confused.

"I don't understand. If nothing happened, why are you upset?"

"This really isn't the time or place to explain, suffice to say Mr. Varner interrupted before things got out of hand."

Angie sighed knowing I probably wouldn't explain, like usual when something bad happened. I would evade and she would give up. I was grateful she didn't press me. Sometimes it was just too much for me to share what happened. There were many things she did not know that happened between Mike and me. I shivered pushing away all thoughts, relieved when Mr. Varner returned.

"I'm giving everyone a chance today to finish up their group projects and individual essays. Those of you who have already turned everything in are welcome to chat quietly or go to the library. Alright get started, I want everything turned in before you leave."

With that, tables were shifted and the noise level grew as groups discussed a mixture of what they were working on and gossip. Angie had done a project with another group so she had to leave me to finish it.

"Edward, since you weren't here for the projects you can just relax. I'm afraid I'll need you to move to the back today though, so the front groups can all sit together." Mr. Varner told him. Edward nodded and got up to make his way to the back of the classroom.

There was only one seat available and it was in front of me. Unfortunately for him, Mr. Varner had all the window seats turned so that they faced the center of the room instead of the front. He felt it kept students from getting distracted. My desk was the only exception; I sat by the window facing forward. Meaning when he sat down at the desk in front of me we would be perpendicular to each other and very much in each other's line of view.

Maybe I would go to the library, and skip the awkward I-don't-want-to-sit-by-you look he was sure to give me. But if I remembered correctly, Mike and James had a computer class today, which was inside the library. It had large glass windows too, meaning they would see me if I went in. It would be safer to stay in class today. I sighed dejectedly looking out the window.

Edward had just sat down; I could feel him looking at me. I refused to look up. Instead I pulled my I-pod out of my bag. I was startled when Edward spoke.

"What happened to your arm?"

_My arm?_ I looked down to see a dark band of bruises across my forearm just above my wrist. I touched the bruises gently, wincing at the pain._ Mike._

I glanced up to see Edward looking at me with an angry expectant expression. "It's nothing." I pushed down my sleeves to cover the marks.

"Doesn't look like nothing." There was a hint of warning to his voice. I shrugged.

"Did Mike do that?" He pressed.

"What does it matter to you?"

He looked dumbfounded. As if I had asked him why it would matter if baby kittens were being thrown from moving vehicles into trees. _Well that was rather graphic_.

"Well you acted as if I was a pariah not twenty minutes ago, I just don't understand why you would suddenly care about my well-being now."

He looked at a loss of what to say to that. I was kind of disappointed. I wanted an explanation, clearly I wasn't going to get one.

"Why would you let him do that to you?" His voice came out soft and hard at the same time. It caught me off guard. He had a knack of doing that to me.

"Because the alternative is worse." Was my pained hurt reply. "And if you think I can control what someone twice my strength does to me then you are sadly mistaken." I added because it was true. Even if I had given into Mike, there was no telling what else he could have done to me against my will. I would have been powerless to stop him.

Edward didn't seem inclined to respond to me after that. For which I was grateful. I felt so drained and tired. All I wanted to do was go home and sleep away the rest of my life. But that would be giving in. That would be letting anyone who had ever hurt me win. I would not give up or lie down, no matter what.

When the bell finally rang for my next class I was calm, even happy. This time in my life would be nothing but a memory in the future. I just had to push through and take the best out of it.

As Edward got up to leave I felt the need to apologize.

"Hey Edward?" I called. He turned to me surprised and puzzled. "I just wanted to say sorry. I shouldn't have taken my having a bad morning out on you. And that I'm sorry you've decided we can't be friends, not that I blame you, the leper that I am. I wish you and your family happiness. Have a good day Edward." And with that I left the room heading to my next class, feeling a keen sense of loss.

When lunch finally rolled around I took my place at a small table near the windows. The outcast table. And I was its only occupant. Sometimes Angie would use her free period to come sit with me, but today she had some homework to catch up on. I was rather sad we didn't have the same lunch time. It would have made my day easier.

As I looked out across the cafeteria I saw Edward's family for the first time. It was a rather breathtaking sight. They were all as beautiful as Edward. Okay, maybe I was a little biased towards Edward, but really they were extraordinary.

The tall girl I knew had to be Rose. She was gorgeous. Her golden blond hair and eyes just sort of beckoned you to her. But she had an air of fierceness or maybe just tenaciousness to her that warned you away at the same time.

I recognized Alice immediately too. She was like a pixy. So petite and fragile looking. But so graceful as well. You would almost think she was gliding on air. Sitting beside her I knew to be Jasper. He had a pained look on his elegant face. His eyes were somewhat redder than the others too.

I almost laughed when I looked at the large man with dark brown hair and glowing eyes. _Emmett_. He looked like an overgrown child. He was currently battling with Rose, dangling a droopy piece of pizza in front of her face. She had her nose turned up in disgust and was trying to push him away. Only she pushed so hard that it made Emmett fall backwards the pizza landing in his lap. I laughed at the interaction, drawing curious stares from the people near me as well as the occupant of the table I had been observing.

I blushed embarrassed looking back down to my own lunch. I had a golden delicious apple, a peanut butter sandwich, and a bottle of water. I never ate much. I had just pulled my sandwich out of the plastic bag when all of The Guys made their way over to my table.

James picked up my apple and took a large bite out of it. He grinned threateningly at me. Too bad I hadn't thought to poison it first. _Internal chuckle at Snow White reference._ I sat still waiting to see what they wanted.

"Well now Ana this lunch simply won't do. You need something more suited to your appetite don't you think?" Mike asked me menacingly. I said nothing. Mike took a large bag from Ben and set in front of me. He reached in and pulled out whole chocolate cake. After that came a large cupcake with blue frosting and piece of pumpkin pie. My stomach starting churning, wondering where this was going. I had expected them to give me a fly sandwich with a bottle of piss to eat. _Yes, that was a Clerks II reference. _Bringing out the sweets instead threw me.

"This is a much more suitable lunch for a whale like you Ana." _Oh. I get it now_. "Now you need to start eating or you won't be able to finish. And you have to finish it, every bite." Everyone in the cafeteria was looking over here now. I felt my face turn a little red thinking that Edward was probably seeing this.

James pushed the giant cake in front of me. "Sorry Ana, we would give you a fork, but pigs don't know how to use them." He told me. Most of the people nearby snickered. I kept my hands folded firmly in my lap wondering what I should do. I could just laugh at them and say 'thanks I love chocolate cake' and start eating. That would surely piss them off. The point was to embarrass me, not for me to go along with it.

But the other side of me was tired of just going along with it. Maybe it was because of what Mike had said this morning and that I had told him no. It felt good.

"Eat the cake Ana." Mike told me a warning in his voice. I stared back, unafraid for the first time in a long while.

"No."

Everyone paused. No one said no to Mike. His eyes flared.

"I said eat the cake." He growled at me.

"And I said no." I returned. He looked baffled. For the third time today I had refused him and he didn't know how to react to it. It made me smile. Suddenly he lunged forward trying to grab me, but I scooted my chair back just in time, making him lose his balance falling face first into the cake.

Everyone around us gasped. Mike came up sputtering with chocolate cake all over his face. I couldn't help it. I laughed. I laughed so hard I had to hold my sides they were hurting. Everyone in the cafeteria started laughing too. Mike looked shocked and embarrassed.

"You got a little something on your chin," I giggled out. He growled and ran out of the cafeteria, his cronies following him.

Soon everyone's giggles had mostly died down and were now looking at me with a sense of admiration on their faces. I smiled and pointed down, "Anybody want some cake?"

The laughter started up again and the people went back to their own circles talking about what just happened. I wondered if I now had a new elevated social status.

I was taken aback when a particular person made their way to my table and sat down.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi Tyler." He smiled sheepishly at me.

"I wanted to apologize to you, about the other day. I shouldn't have left you. And I'm not saying that because of what just happened."

I probably should have felt some resentment, but I didn't. It wasn't like me to hold a grudge or punish people for their mistakes, even if they knew better. So I gave him a smile and offered him the cupcake. He laughed at me.

"You know he's going to try to say you threw it at him right?"

"I figured something of the sort, but there are video cameras in here, and this table just so happens to be in full view of one. Plus I think some people would back me up."

"Yeah, I know I would." I was surprised to hear it.

"I guess I'm not the only one who is no longer afraid of Mike." Tyler looked at me incredulously.

"But you were never afraid of him. Every time we did something to you, you would laugh or just brush it off like it was no big deal. It annoyed the hell out of Mike that he couldn't get to you. I remember thinking how brave you were to take everything we did so well. I can't tell you how ashamed I am of my part in torturing you."

"You made some bad decisions Tyler, but you also made some good ones. Even if you couldn't bring yourself to break away from the group, you at least tried to help me when you could. Seriously, how many times did you bring me clothes when they took mine?" Tyler blushed. "Hey I thought we were past all the blushing, you've seen me naked at least ten times. If anyone should be embarrassed it's me." I pointed out laughing. Tyler blushed even more deeply.

"Well if it's any consolation I think you have a beautiful body." I felt my nose scrunching up in distaste.

"You don't have to say things like that just to make me feel better." I told him.

His eyes widened. And he shook his head at me. "I'm being serious Ana. You are probably the most beautiful girl in this school." I felt my eyes go wide.

"That's not funny Tyler. I don't appreciate being mocked."

"I'm not mocking you. I've honestly thought that for a long time. I'm just sorry it took me so long to say it." Looking into Tyler's eyes I could see that he meant it. I was astounded. _Me? Pretty_? For so long they had all been calling me ugly and fat that I had just accepted it. I had even stopped looking in mirrors.

"You really mean it don't you." Tyler nodded his head blushing. I wasn't sure if I was happy about that or not. I was still in shock. "Wow. Okay. Well… thanks I guess."

"I didn't mean to make this awkward, it's just been on my mind a lot lately. And I wanted to ask you something." I looked at him curiously having no idea what he might say next. "Would you like to go out with me?"

I blinked. _What_?

"What?"

Tyler blushed again for about the hundredth time. "I asked if you would like to go out, on a date, with me. I understand if you don't want to, considering up until today I haven't been the nicest person to you."

"You're not just saying this because you left me out in the rain are you? Because I assure you I've quite forgiven you for it. You don't have to make anything up to me I promise."

"Jeeze you don't make it easy for a guy do you?" he laughed a little humorously. I was finally starting to realize he was serious. "I'm not asking you out because I was an a-hole to you. I'm asking you out because I've had a crush on you since you first moved here six years ago." I felt my mouth drop open.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Really?" He blushed nodding his head at me. I couldn't help but wonder what Edward would think. He probably didn't care, he had mostly ignored me today. It's not like he liked _me_. Maybe I should give Tyler a chance. Give myself a chance too. "Okay." He looked up.

"Okay?" He asked. I smiled.

"As in ok I'll go out on a date with you."

"Really?" I laughed at his surprised tone.

"Yeah." His face lit up.

"Is tonight good?"

"Sure." I said. Why not. Today was a day of change, might as well go big.

"How does around six sound?"

"Sounds good to me. I only have one request."

"Of course, anything you want." He told me.

"I would like to drive." He blushed furiously, but nodded.

"I understand. I know you are giving me a chance, but I hope you can come to trust me in time."

"I'm sure I will." I said patting his hand. He gave me a timid smile back. "I think we need to be off to class now though. I will see you around six."

"See you at six Ana."

And with that I hurried off to Biology with a grin on my face.

**I'm posting these as soon as I can. I have a lot that I am working on. Some chapters will come quickly and a few others a little bit slower. But I hope you have been enjoying my story!**

**Please feel free to leave me some comments. I enjoy getting them!**


	7. Another Perspective

**Chapter 7: Another Perspective**

**Edward's POV**

_**After leaving Ana's house (end of chapter 5)**_

_Anabelle._ I mulled the name over feeling a mixture of excitement and trepidation as I drove home. I liked her, a lot. This was a new feeling for me. I had never felt so attached to a person before, not like this. And I barely knew her. Why did she hold such an allure for me? I would have thought maybe because I couldn't read her mind, but even before I realized that I had been drawn to her.

But she was a human, it couldn't work…could it? And if it could would I want it to?

_Yes. Yes I would_.

I wanted to know her, everything about her. And I wanted her to know me. What I am. But that would be impossible. She would most likely fear me; that would be natural.

I laughed humorlessly at myself. Of course, of all the creatures in this world, I would become fascinated with a human. Someone who is bound to not be able to return the sentiment. Life was cruel like that though.

I drove around for a while drowning in my thoughts until I realized it was almost nine o'clock. Esme would probably be worried. So I headed home.

Nearing the house I heard a variety of thoughts all oriented around me. Alice had seen me and the human. They were worried about me.

I walked through the front door to find everyone looking at me expectantly. I didn't know what to tell them though.

"Edward! We were getting worried about you. Are you alright?" Esme asked, her perfectly arched brows drawing in giving a sad element to her golden eyes.

"Yes. I got distracted driving around, I didn't realize how late it was."

"You scared us earlier you dolt!" Alice threw at me coming over to embrace me in a hug. "One minute I saw you ripping out the boy's throats then the next talking with a girl. I have to say these visions were not as informative as I'm sure you'd hope they'd be."

"You were about to go totally kujo on them. I was like dannnng Eddie!" Was Emmett's ever helpful commentary… not. Rose knocked him on the shoulder. He gave a playful pout.

"What exactly happened? Why did you go all apelike over some girl?" Rose put in. She was a little miffed at me for being attracted to a human. It was rather funny actually.

"You know, it would be easier for him to ease your worries if you would give him a chance to speak." Carlisle put in. He knew more than the rest, but was still curious as well.

"I don't think I can explain. I do apologize for causing any distress. Suffice to say that, I met someone who intrigued me." Esme's mind exploded with happiness. While Carlisle was more cautious. All the others were flabbergasted.

"You're going to fall in love with her." Alice put in. I saw it clearly in her head. Ana and I smiling laughing together. We were in my favorites spot in the meadow playing in the tall grass.

"Fall in love with a human?!" Emmett started rolling around he was laughing so hard.

"I barely even know her. I think falling in love is a bit far-fetched." As I said the words I felt my anxiety rising. I had just seen myself fall in love, and damn it, but I was starting to feel it now. I wanted to feel it.

"Very rarely has Alice ever been wrong." Jasper spoke up for the first time. He was right, and so was Alice. But how was I to feel about this? I was intrigued by the girl to be certain, but to even think of falling in love with her would be… heartbreak. She deserved someone who could give her a life full of happiness, someone who could give her children and hold her tightly without risk of killing her.

I felt my heart drop knowing it was too late. Alice was right, my heart had already somehow become entangled with a tiny frail human without so much as my permission.

I sat down on the couch with a pained sigh.

"No. Alice isn't wrong."

"Do you realize what you are saying? You can't fall in love with a human. She could find out about us. Then we would have to move again." Rosalie whined.

"Rose be a little less of a b-word why don't you. We don't choose how we feel. You of all people should understand that." Alice told her. Rose clamped her mouth shut, but I could still hear her thoughts.

"Rose is kind of right though. Getting close to the human could be bad. He could kill her, on accident of course, but she would be dead all the same. It would be risking exposure to become attached." I hated what Jasper was saying, but he too was right.

How was it that I could go from feeling on top of the world to the lowest in such a short span of time? I felt all their very legitimate concerns of my involvement with Ana buzz around me. It was overwhelming. Now they were all arguing over me and what should be done. I made a choice.

Alice was the first to see the change. She turned a sad eye on me. Everyone stopped talking to look at us.

I was done talking though. Without a word I headed upstairs to my room. I could hear Alice explaining below.

"He's going to leave her alone. He's giving up the beautiful love they would share so that we can be happy."

I felt all of their anger at me stop and turn to sadness. They had all found a mate in life and the one chance I might have been able to be happy was snatched away before it could even be realized.

I blocked them out immersing myself in music to keep out the pain.

…

_**At school the next Monday**_

I drove to school alone again. I couldn't tolerate to be with them and their pity. It was easier for me if I didn't have to listen to every tiny detail of everything I would be missing out on by giving Ana up. I had already seen too much through Alice.

So I would solider on, and hope one day I wouldn't feel so alone.

As I walked towards class I heard the remnants of Mr. Varner's thoughts. He was worried about Ana. There had been some sort of exchange, something bad. I was trying to figure out what. As I walked through the door I saw Ana's face perk up at seeing me. I felt my heart twist for what I was about to do. I sat towards the middle of the room turning my back to her. I saw her smile falter.

"Good morning Edward." Her somewhat cheery call made my stomach drop with guilt. I nodded curtly in her direction. With my excellent peripheral vision I saw just how much my actions hurt her. She looked suddenly lost and like she wanted to cry. I nearly gave in right then and went to talk to her.

She put her head down in what appeared to be defeat. For once in my life I actually felt like the monster I was. I heard her breathing hitch and then even. I forced myself to ignore her and not look back. Soon students started filing in, Angela included. Unable to help myself I tracked her conversation with Ana.

"Ana?" Angie asked her. She sounded worried.

"Hey." The voice sounded tight as if she was holding back. I grimaced.

"Are you ok hun?"

"Yeah, it's just been a rough morning."

"Mike?" She asked. I felt the intensity of my ability to listen at far distances strengthen. What had happened this morning?

"How did you know?"

"You only ever act like this when something really bad happens. What did he do?"

Really bad? What did that mean? I filed through Angela's thoughts trying to figure it out but she was more worried about the present.

"Nothing…yet." Unable to help myself I stole a glance in their direction. What would Mike do? This was driving me crazy. I wish I could read her mind!

"Ut-oh. What did he threaten to do?"

"Nothing." Ana's words puzzled both me and Angela.

"I don't understand. If nothing happened, why are you upset?"

"This really isn't the time or place to explain, suffice to say Mr. Varner interrupted before things got out of hand."

I wondered what that meant. What had Mr. Varner interrupted? _What happened?_

Suddenly it seemed Mr. Varner was back. He was talking about giving more time for an essay or something. My mind wasn't really on what he was saying until I heard my name in his head. He was making me move. To the back. Right beside Ana. I wasn't sure if I wanted to jump up happily or groan.

As I made my way to the back I saw Ana was doing her best to ignore me. It hurt, but I had hurt her. What could I expect? Now that she was in my line of vision I didn't keep my eyes off of her. I roved her face, she looked very unhappy. Somehow I knew I was the cause of it.

When she reached over to go through her bag I noticed her arm. It was covered in bruises. I felt the heat of anger rush through me.

"What happened to your arm?" I couldn't help but ask. I watched surprise flit across her face as she looked down touching her arm. She winced at the contact. I felt my fist ball in fury.

"It's nothing." She told me trying to cover the marks.

"Doesn't look like nothing." I felt more and more irrationally angry. She just shrugged at me. "Did Mike do that?" I pressed.

"What does it matter to you?"

I felt dumbfounded. _Why did it matter?_ She asked why it mattered that someone would hurt her?

"Well you acted as if I was a pariah not twenty minutes ago, I just don't understand why you would suddenly care about my well-being now."

Again I felt the guilt twist through me. I had acted like that, but that's not what I intended by my behavior. I was trying to leave her alone for her own good. Yet it came off as if I had found out she was ostracized and decided not to be friends with her anymore. I wanted to tell her otherwise, but I couldn't tell her the truth. And suddenly I was angry that she had allowed him to touch her. He had no right.

"Why would you let him do that to you?" My voice came out harder than I intended it to be.

"Because the alternative is worse." She sounded pained and hurt. What was worse I wondered. What else could he do? Or already had done?

"And if you think I can control what someone twice my strength does to me then you are sadly mistaken."

She was right of course, but it still seemed wrong. I tried for the rest of the class to think of something to say to her, but I couldn't. It was probably better that way. I shouldn't get so attached. But I was. This was going to be a long day. I could already tell.

I was relieved when the bell for the class change finally rang. I waited for a moment, thinking I should say something. Nothing helpful came to mind so I got up to leave. Surprisingly Ana called my name.

"Hey Edward? I just wanted to say sorry. I shouldn't have taken my having a bad morning out on you. And that I'm sorry you've decided we can't be friends, not that I blame you, the leper that I am. I wish you and your family happiness. Have a good day Edward." And with that she left me. She apologized to me, when I was being the jerk. And she thought I didn't like her because of what everyone else thought. How could it get any worse?

As the day went on my mood grew more and more sour. All I wanted to do was run find Ana and tell her that I was sorry. That I wanted to be friends. But I couldn't. By the time lunch rolled around, I was a ball of hot nerves. Everyone seemed to notice but didn't comment.

I saw Ana sitting quietly at a table out of the way. She looked so sad and alone over there. I wanted to go to her. Apparently I wasn't the only one thinking of going over there. Those boys were up to something. Suddenly I realized what they were going to do. I was horrified. Before I could do anything Emmett, Jasper, and Rose were holding me down. I could have gotten away with just one of them holding me, but not all three.

"It's not our place to interfere Edward. Let it go." Jasper told me trying to calm me.

I watched as they taunted her, calling her names and telling her to eat a meal that was clearly meant to insult her. I wanted to shred them to pieces. All of them. Then suddenly Ana was telling them no. I was so proud of her for standing up for herself. She was all alone over there with everyone against her, but she stood up to them.

When Mike lunged towards her I imagined his death a million different ways. It was only when he landed in his own cake that a little sense of reason came back to me. Then all of the cafeteria was laughing at him. I was gratified by it. He was getting a taste of his own medicine. Seeing him rush out I was finally able to relax. Alice nodded that it was ok for them to release me.

"Sorry bro. Didn't want there to be a cafeteria full of witness we'd have to kill." Emmett told me. I snorted at his remark.

I kept my eye on Ana, hoping no one else would bother her. I stiffened as I watched Tyler make his way over to her. His mind was full of apology though so I relaxed. I listened to their exchange feeling myself resent Tyler for both having a hand in hurting her and because Ana was so willing to forgive him. I needed to let it go. Let her go.

So I tried to ignore them. I succeed for a whole few minutes when I heard Ana say 'What?' her voice had sounded so full of confusion I was drawn back in. What had happened?

Tyler asked her out. I wondered at his audacity. Did he really think she would go out with him after everything he had done? I almost snorted again. I listened waiting for her to tell him no. To put the shmuck in his place.

"Okay."

_Wait…WHAT!?_

Did she just… yes. She did…

I was in shock. She was actually going to go out with him. Tonight.

I wanted to punch him in the face. Why would she say yes… to _him_? I would like to think anyone else would have been fine, but _why him_? She deserved so much better.

I had to know. I had to understand this. My irrational raging jealousy demanded it. I felt myself rise from my seat wondering when I would be able to talk to Ana about this.

As fate would have it, I found Ana sitting at a bench in the back of my next class. We had Biology together. This would be perfect. Or Hell. I wasn't too certain just yet.

I approached the teacher, Mrs. Harper. She was a sweet middle aged woman with carrot orange hair, pale skin, and a face full of freckles. Her blue eyes smiled kindly at me.

"Oh Hello dear. Ana is back today so you will have to share your bench with her. She is very sweet and smart, you two should get along nicely."

I nodded and headed to the back. Ana was currently looking out the window a ghost of a smile on her face. I wondered if she even noticed me. Probably not.

When I pulled the chair beside her back she started, proving my assumption. She looked on over at me with surprised eyes. And then she smiled. Oh what a smile. Seeing her like this made my insides churn with adoration and heat.

"Hello Ana." I told her when I found my voice.

"Hello Edward. I didn't realize we had Biology together." She said it in a sort of ironic voice.

"Me either. Does it bother you?" I couldn't help but ask the question. It slipped from my lips before I even knew I thought it.

"No." she laughed a little. "I don't have a problem with it." The way she said it made out like I was the one who did. Which was understandable given my behavior earlier this morning.

"Good. I don't either." I surprised her.

I wanted to say more, but Mrs. Harper was getting class in order.

"Alright everyone. We are going to do a project today on intra- and interspecific competition. Can anyone tell me what that is?" Mrs. Harper looked out on the crowd expectantly. No one raised their hand. She expected that both Ana and I would know the answer, but she was hesitant to call on either of us. I was about to raise my hand to break the silence when Ana interrupted me.

"Intraspecific competition is between organisms of the same species, such as two cats competing over a single bowl of cat food. Interspecific competition is between organisms of different species, like a squirrel and a bird fighting for space in the same tree."

I was impressed at the level of her knowledge. Not many people in their first college biology class would have known that.

"Very good! Exactly right. So today we are going to start a two week project where we test this idea. You and your partner will make up an experiment that you think best helps to show these different competition types. You will you some sort of seeds, I have several types available, and plant them according to your preference. Now let's get started!" She was very excited as she started passing out plastic pots and telling everyone to start planning. I looked over at Ana who was grinning.

"This should be very easy." She told me. "I'm thinking we can put ten corn seeds in a single pot, ten radish seeds in another pot, and then five of each seed in the same pot. Then to determine the effect we can measure shoot height to see how they fare both alone and together. How does that sound?"

"That is a very well thought out plan." And it really was. Simple too. So we started counting out seeds and getting our pots ready. We were the only group who seemed to know what they were doing.

"Are you feeling well today?" I asked Ana. I guess trying to make small talk as we worked. She laughed.

"Yes actually. I'm fantastic. Completely over strep." She grinned so widely it made my stomach flip. Then I wondered why she was so happy. Was it because of Tyler?

"Did something good happen?" Ana gave me a like-you-don't-know look.

"Well seeing Mike face plant into a cake just kinda made my day." She giggled. "I guess I just feel like everything is different. I'm not scared anymore." She smiled softly as she gently packed the dirt around the seeds.

"You were scared before?" I asked cautiously. Ana turned contemplative.

"Well… yes. I mean I don't know if you are friends with Mike or not, but he has a cruel streak most people don't see. Maybe because he's been harassing me for so long it was easy for me to notice, but I was always afraid of what he could do. I mean the embarrassing stuff sucked, but it didn't scare me. But whenever he cornered me, without an audience, he was… different. More threatening. I don't know. But today I just felt a change and I decided not to care anymore. It's such a novel feeling." She laughed on saying the last part.

I thought over her words, taking each one carefully into consideration. Mike did have a cruel side. I didn't even need to see into his mind to know it. And for some strange reason his anger was all focused on Ana.

"Why does he have such a strong dislike of you?" I asked. She frowned.

"I'm not sure. I think it's because of something stupid that happened a long time ago."

I looked at her expectantly.

She laughed looking at my expression. "I guess you have to understand how Mike is. He hates being made a fool of more than anything else. He can't stand the idea that anyone could possibly not want him or do whatever he asks."

"I'm still not really following." I admitted.

"Well when I first came here six years ago I didn't know anyone and I mostly kept to myself. Mike tried to talk to me, but I didn't want anything to do with him. I think it took a hit to his ego. So one day he asked me to go on a date with him in front of everyone. I think he thought I wouldn't say no if we were in front of a crowd. But I did and everyone laughed at him. The very next day is when the pranks started."

It all started to make sense. The low life couldn't take no for an answer.

"What a loser." Ana laughed at me.

"Well anyways I'm done. I've decided I don't care what happens anymore I'm not going to let him get to me." She said it so happily I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her I would kill Mike before I let him do anything to her ever again.

"Well I guess today he got his payback." Ana nodded laughing again. "Are you going to celebrate the momentous occasion?" I asked it as a segway to learning more about her date with Tyler which I was now convinced I needed to break up.

"Actually I am. This is a little embarrassing to admit, but I am going on my very first date tonight." She beamed at me. Her first date? I must have looked stunned, because Ana turned a little red.

"Who's the lucky guy?" I managed to ask without too much venom.

"Tyler. He apologized to me and asked me out." Ana looked amazed by the thought.

"He's the one that left you." I said. Ana blushed a little. "You trust him?"

"I do." She looked at me solemnly. "I've always thought Tyler was a good guy just following along, because he, like everyone else, was afraid of getting on Mike's bad side. And I think it took courage to finally brake away from that and to tell me he's liked me for a long time."

"This is going to make me sound like a jerk, but don't you think you deserve someone better? Someone who doesn't need to follow along like a little lap dog and can stand up for someone they care about because it's the right thing to do?"

"Maybe you're right, but _no one_ has ever stood up for me before. It seems like I'm doing this more for him, but really it's for me. I've never been on a date before. I've never even had a guy tell me he liked me before. And I want to experience it. I want to know what it's like to have someone hold my hand, tell me I'm pretty, maybe even kiss me, I don't know, anything really. I just want to experience so much. I feel like I've been living under a rock." She laughed out the last bit the excitement in her voice coming to a head.

I could understand better now why she said yes. She did deserve all those things, I just hated that Tyler might be the one to give them to her. I wanted to. I wanted to hold her hand, tell her how gorgeous I think she is, and kiss her generous lips until we both needed air. I wanted it so much.

"But with _Tyler_?" I asked sounding a bit whiny to my own ears.

"It's not like I have any other options." She told me bringing me back to reality. No one in the entire school except Angie was nice to her. She didn't have a line of suitors. How that was even possible, considering how freaking beautiful she is, was beyond me.

I wanted to tell her I was an option. That I would show her what it is really like to be treated right. Never in my life had I felt so constrained by my inhumanity.

"Anyways Tyler is a good guy. And I think I could have some fun." Ana said bringing me out of my thoughts. I smiled sadly at her nodding.

"You deserve to."

Class was coming to a close and I hated to have to leave. But that was life for me, anything good that came along was snatched away leaving me hopeless again. I held on to my sanity by a mere thread telling Ana goodbye as she made her way to the last class of the day. I sighed… this was going to be a long night.

**Alright! There had been some requests before for Edwards POV so, I wanted to do that for you all :D**

**I think I will be updating a good bit more frequently over the next few days. I have a lot written, I just want to look over it before I publish. If you see mistakes LET ME KNOW! I don't have a beta so I miss errors even though I check my work.**

**Please Review!**


	8. Date

**Chapter 8: Date**

**Anabelle's POV**

I was nervous, very nervous. I had never been on a date before. I glanced at the clock expectantly. 5:58 pm. Tyler would be here at any moment.

Looking down at myself I groaned. I was wearing soft blue jeans and a purple sweater that clung, in my opinion, a little too tightly to my breasts making them look extra huge. I pulled at the fabric trying to stretch it, but as soon as I let it go it popped back in place clinging to me snugly. Hopeless. That's what I was. _I shouldn't be nervous. It's just Tyler_.

But it was my first date.

I groaned again thinking about my conversation with Edward. I can't believe I told him all those things. _What was I thinking_?

I knew what I was thinking. I was thinking that Edward was really easy to talk to, that I could tell him anything. Plus I was on a major high from having just witnessed Mike face plant into a cake. But that wasn't a really good excuse. I just felt so comfortable with him, even after earlier this morning when he was rude to me.

The strange thing was, that when Edward was talking to me I got the distinct feeling he was jealous. Which honestly didn't even make any sense at all. He didn't like me. He was just trying to warn me to be careful, rightly so considering Tyler's past. But… he kept giving me such a deep look, and then when I told him I didn't have any other options he looked like he was going to say he was. As crazy as it sounds I think he wanted to say it, but couldn't.

I wondered if there was a reason behind it. Could he like me and just be trying to stay away for some other reason? Did he think I didn't like him, and is scared of rejection?

No. I shook my head at myself. I was getting too fanciful due to the craziness of my day. He was just a good guy. That's it. I firmly told myself even as my heart protested that I wished it was much, much more.

_Ding._

The doorbell rang. Oh, Tyler. I glanced down one last time shook my head at myself and rushed down the stairs.

Upon opening the door, I found Tyler standing there with a handful of beautiful red roses. He blushed handing them to me. I was extremely flattered.

"Uh, I got them for you as sort of an apology for everything I've ever done in the past, as well as because they remind me of you. You look beautiful by the way." He was so red now I almost thought the flowers would match his cheeks.

"Thank you. They are lovely. Would you like to come in for a minute while I put these in a vase?" He nodded and stepped inside with me. We walked back to the kitchen together rather quietly. I was busy contemplating how sweet it was to be given flowers.

I pulled a nice crystal vase from the top shelf of our nice dishes cabinet and filled it with water. When I was done placing them on the table, it was quite an appealing sight.

"Are you ready to go?" Tyler asked as I turned to him. He was a little closer than I expected so I gasped when I collided into him. A deep rumble of laughter escaped from his chest. I laughed too.

"Sorry. I am ready." I straightened myself giving him a small smile. Then we headed out to my truck together. Once inside I looked at him expectantly.

"Where am I taking us?" he gave me a grin.

"You'll see. For now drive south down 17." I obliged my curiosity increasing.

"You can put the radio on whatever. I have a CD album, but I don't know what you like." I told him turning out of my driveway. I glanced sideways to see him leafing through my album of CD's. He gave me a curious glance when he got to a particular one. I wasn't sure what CD it was until I heard the first part. I laughed.

"Avenue Q."

"What is this?" He asked as the lyrics to 'it sucks to be me' started belting out.

"It's a Broadway musical. You can think of it as adult Muppets. It's a comedy." I explained. "This song is funny but track three and six are the best." He skipped through to three first.

"Ok just warning you this song is making fun of Bert and Ernie. And you can probably figure out who is who within the first few seconds." I told him trying not to giggle. I hoped he would think it was funny and not stupid.

The song started.

**ROD**  
Aah, an afternoon alone with  
My favorite book, "Broadway  
Musicals of the 1940s."  
No roommate to bother me.  
How could it get any better than this?

**NICKY**  
Well, okay, but just so you know —  
IF YOU WERE GAY  
THAT'D BE OKAY.  
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,  
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.  
BECAUSE YOU SEE,  
IF IT WERE ME,  
I WOULD FEEL FREE  
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY  
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.) 

When the song was over I looked at Tyler. He was grinning.

"That was pretty funny. What is track six about?" I laughed.

"Umm it's a little vulgar actually." He gave me surprised look.

"Oh really? How vulgar?"

"Not super terrible, but I wouldn't listen to it with my dad."

"Okay now I have to hear it." So he changed the song and I bit my lip to keep from singing along.

**KATE **  
The internet is really really great  
**TREKKIE MONSTER**  
For porn  
**KATE **  
I've got a fast connection so i don't have to wait  
**TREKKIE **  
For porn  
**KATE  
**Huh?  
There's always some new site,  
**TREKKIE**  
For porn!

**KATE**  
I browse all day and night  
**TREKKIE**  
For porn!  
**KATE**  
It's like i'm surfing at the speed of light  
**TREKKIE**  
For porn!  
**KATE**  
Trekkie!

**TREKKIE**  
The internet is for porn  
**KATE**  
Trekkie!  
**TREKKIE**  
The internet is for porn,  
**KATE**  
What are you doing!?  
**TREKKIE**  
Why you think the net was born?  
Porn porn porn

I continued to let the song play both Tyler and I were cracking up by the end.  
"What is this song called?"

"The Internet is for Porn." He laughed at me.

"Of course it is. So what else do you listen to?"

"Oh well a little bit of everything I guess. I really like oldies, rock, country, alternative, some rap, and classical. I guess I have a bit of an eclectic taste. What about you?"

"I'm up for just about anything, but I like old country and rock best." I nodded understanding.

"Why don't you ever drive to school?" Tyler asked me.

"Oh, well before I got a license, my dad didn't always have the time to take me to school so I started walking which I actually like to. And after I was able to drive I walked because I love my truck and I was always afraid Mike would do something to it." I admitted. Tyler frowned.

"You're probably right." He looked at me sadly. "Why don't you hate me?" I was taken off guard with the question.

"I don't hate anyone. Not even Mike. But I guess to better answer your question, I don't dislike you because you were always nice to me. I mean you helped me out… a lot. And I knew even then how much you hated being a part of it, but you were different from the others. I always felt like you weren't cruel like they are."

"Even though I left you out in the rain, to walk fifteen miles home, you don't think that's cruel?" He looked so ashamed.

"Okay that was, but you didn't do it with the same attitude as the others would have. I almost feel like I could have persuaded you not to leave me."

"I wasn't going to. I know at the time it must have seemed like I was, but I wasn't Ana, I promise you. I was going to take you home, but then you made it so easy by just getting out. I felt so ashamed that I let you go."

I was surprised and gladdened by his words. "You realize you are proving my point then. You didn't want to be a part of that, while any of the other guys would have jumped at the opportunity and they wouldn't have even taken my bag home. You saved me a lot of pain by just doing that alone." Tyler started to perk up a little, but I could still tell he was upset with himself.

"Tyler this is supposed to be a new beginning for me. Why don't you let it be the same for you? I have already forgiven you, and I think you should forgive yourself. Remember what you've done to serve as a reminder of what you don't want to be, but move on. Let the past be exactly that; the past."

"I'll try."

"Good. Now enough of this depressing topic." I smiled brightly at him. "You can tell me where we are going instead." He laughed at that.

"I'm not that easy. Just keep driving straight. We will be there soon."

"You are driving me crazy with curiosity ya know!" He smiled at me. "Can I at least get a hint?"

"Hmmm. Blue." He grinned mischievously at me.

"_Blue_? That's your hint? A billion things could be blue." I complained.

"Well that's all you're getting out of me. I don't want to ruin the surprise."

"I wouldn't mind." I told him sweetly. He laughed at me and shook his head. "Okay, fine I guess." I grumbled.

"You're cute when you pout." He told me. I looked over at him surprised. I felt warmed at his words. It was a little embarrassing to have someone compliment me.

"You are embarrassing me." I told him feeling such heat in my cheeks. He gave a laugh.

"I guess I better not tell you how ravishing you look naked then." I swerved in the road a little as I shot a look over to him. He chuckled.

"I thought you were a gentleman." I accused feeling my face turn so red I knew I probably looked like a tomato.

"I'm a guy. And I did_ try_ to not look, but I don't think any guy could resist taking a peek at a gorgeous naked woman in front of him."

"I am going to die."_ Of mortification_. He laughed at me more.

"I didn't think I could embarrass you. You were always so collected when it happened. If I remember correctly I was the one who was bright red."

"Well I didn't think you liked me then. I just thought you were nice and it was an embarrassing situation, but it happened so often I kinda got used to it. Well to you seeing me undressed anyways. I guess I shouldn't be, but it's different when someone just sees you naked versus them talking about what you look like. I mean how would you feel if I saw you naked and talked about how amazing your body looks?" I countered.

"If you want to see me naked all you had to do was ask. I'll be happy to strip for you." Tyler told me giving me a wink. Where had this confidence come from? He was usually so shy. To be honest I kinda liked it though.

I laughed shaking my head at him. "Slow down you haven't even taken me out yet. Maybe later." I winked back. It was nice to flirt and just play around. "So are we getting close yet?"

"Yes actually. Turn right at this light coming up." I was getting really excited. When I turned at the light I was surprised to see a nice little seafood restaurant just off the beach. I looked over at Tyler and he grinned.

"What do you think?" He asked as I pulled into the sandy parking lot.

"I think it looks like fun."

With that we walked inside and got a nice cozy table for two at a window facing the beach.

"This is really nice Tyler. Have you been here before?"

"Yeah. My family comes here from time to time. It's even nicer in the spring, but I thought you might like it."

"I really do. Nautical themes are pretty cool though. And I love that it's right on the beach. Do you think we could go for a walk afterwards?" I asked hopefully. Tyler looked a little bit bashful.

"I was kinda hoping you would." He admitted.

Dinner was spectacular, but then again I did love seafood. I had blackened scallops with a baked potato and fresh veggies. Tyler had a steak with fried oysters on the side. Not only was the food good, but we had been having a great time as well. He told me about his family and their frequent trips all down the coast. He was an only child so his parents spoiled him a little bit, but not terribly so. Tyler was pretty down to earth to have parents as rich as his. And from what I gathered from the conversation his parents were pretty loaded. When it came time for the check he absolutely would not let me pay.

"You agreed to let me take you on a date and part of a date is having the man pay for dinner." He told me firmly, discretely handing the waiter a hundred dollar bill and letting him know he didn't need change. There was no way our bill cost that much, I think Tyler was just very generous. "Now how about that walk on the beach?" I smiled eagerly.

He took my hand as we walked down to the shore. It caught me by surprise, but in a very good way. His hand was warm and firm, but somehow soft at the same time. It was nice. He gently ran his thumb across my hand.

"Tonight has been really nice. And dinner was fantastic." I said as we walked along the shoreline.

"Good. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. I'm also glad you didn't order a salad and pick at it the whole time. That is the epitome of annoying." I laughed at his remark.

"Well I like food too much to pretend otherwise for the sake of seeming fashionable."

"Thank God. I can't tell you how many times I've seen women do that. Even my own mother does it occasionally. It drives dad up the wall."

"Well you don't have to worry about that with me." I strayed from Tyler walking to where the ocean lapped the sand. I picked up a pretty scallop shell and rinsed it off.

"I could collect seashells out here for days!" I told him standing up again. He was looking at me curiously. "What?"

"I've never seen you so happy before. It's impossible to describe how exquisite you look standing here in the sunset smiling at me."

"Oh." I felt flattered by his words and a little embarrassed too. I really wasn't used to getting so many compliments in my whole life.

"I apologize if I'm making you uncomfortable." I shook my head at him.

"No, not really. It's just I've spent so many years thinking I was ugly and fat, it's strange to hear anyone say such nice things about me." I attempted to explain. Tyler looked so sad. He took my hand and brought it to his lips kissing my knuckles gently. His lips were so soft and warm. I felt myself gasp a little at the action.

"You are neither ugly nor fat. You are dazzling. I wish I had the courage to tell you that sooner."

"Oh you better stop or I am going to turn bright red again." I laughed. He grinned at me.

"I think I like you with a blush."

"Well if you keep this up I am going to have a permanent one." We both chuckled.

"Ana, do you like me?" He asked me suddenly serious. I must have looked confused though, because he elaborated. "I know you don't hold what happened in the past against me, but I wonder if you actually_ like_ me. If you are attracted to me in _that_ way."

I understood what he meant. If I was physically attracted to him. Thinking about it the answer was no. I though he was good looking and very sweet, but there was no actual chemistry between us. I didn't feel the urge to wrap my arms around him and kiss him; like I felt with Edward. Thinking of Edward made heat pool in my stomach in a twisting kind of way. That was real attraction. And I just didn't feel it with Tyler.

"I'm afraid not. At least if I understand you correctly. You mean in a sexual way right?" Tyler blushed but nodded. "I think you are very handsome Tyler. So handsome that I don't understand why you don't have a girlfriend, but I don't feel that spark. Maybe I've just read too many novels about what it's supposed to be like and what I'm expecting doesn't really exist. But, to put this as nicely as possible, I don't want to jump your bones." Instead of getting upset he laughed at me.

"Well as disappointing as it is to hear I think I understand. Would you at least be willing to let me kiss you? Just once, to make sure there isn't anything?" He asked me.

"As long as you won't make fun of me. I've never been kissed before." I admitted blushing a little. Tyler smiled.

"I promise I won't." With that he moved in close to me tilting my head up. He dipped his lips gently down to mine. They were soft and warm. Like his hands. He opened my mouth tenderly and slid his tongue in. I mirrored his movements trying to follow along. It did feel nice, but not nice enough to turn me on. Not as nice as I imagined it would be with Edward. We continued the kiss for a moment longer and then broke away softly.

Tyler was staring at me an odd expression on his face.

"I hope that was okay." I said unsure. He smiled sweetly at me.

"I was just thinking you kiss really well. If you hadn't told me it was your first I wouldn't have known." He smiled. "Did you feel anything?"

I shook my head. "It was really nice, but not in the way I'm sure you hoped for."

"It's okay actually. I enjoyed it a lot, but it wasn't what I was expecting either." He admitted abashed.

"Well at least we know now. And the kiss was nice. I couldn't have asked for a better first one." He laughed at me, but kindly. We headed back to my truck and went home chatting amiably. It was a good first experience in my opinion.

Tyler walked me to my house door and I thanked him for the wonderful evening.

"I guess we probably won't go on another date." Tyler said a little sadly.

"Yeah. It was great, but I didn't feel anything and I don't think you did either." He grinned sheepishly at me.

"You're right. I didn't."

"I don't know if this is weird for me to say considering we are just finishing our date, but I think you should ask Angie out." I told Tyler. Shock flitted across his eyes as I mentioned it.

"What?"

"Angie is really sweet and you can't deny she is adorable. Plus I think she might like you. Anyways it's worth a try if nothing else. The worst that could happen is a repeat of tonight which was actually really nice."

He looked contemplative. "Are you sure? I mean she was pretty pissed at me last week."

"I'll talk to her. And like I said, it's worth a shot."

"Alright. You have a good night Ana. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Night Tyler."

I walked inside feeling a sense of relief. Tonight was great. I'd had my first date and my first kiss. Maybe it didn't turn out exactly as I had planned, but it was still wonderful. So I headed up stairs wondering what tomorrow might bring.

**How did ya'll like Ana and Tyler's date? Ana's first kiss and it not being with Edward?**

**I had to put a little somethin somethin in, but ultimately Ana likes Edward which is why I had her and Tyler not work out.**

**More updates coming soon!**


	9. Revelations

**Chapter 9: Revelations**

**Anabelle's POV**

It had been four days since the episode with Mike in the cafeteria and surprisingly things did change. They weren't drastic changes, but little things that I couldn't help but notice. So maybe they were a little drastic for me.

I wasn't messed with again. No one picked on me and I wasn't as ignored as before. People would wave to me in the hallway or just give a 'sup' as a greeting. It was like I was just another regular person.

Even _Mike _was sort of nice to me. As in he didn't bother me. He pretended I didn't exist which was perfectly fine with me. I waited cautiously every day for the bottom to fall out; for someone to put glue in my hair and throw feathers at me. But nothing happened.

I didn't even sit alone at lunch anymore. Tyler and a few of his other friends invited me to sit with them. It was just a relaxing atmosphere. The girls would say things like 'I like your shirt, where did you get it?' and the guys would roll their eyes at their girlfriends and continue talking about sports. A topic I was more comfortable with so I surprised them by making valid comments about who the best quarterback in the NFL was. A topic they frequently discussed. I was fitting in rather well, it was an odd experience, and one I was sure I wouldn't get used to.

Unfortunately things between Edward and I were not good. I thought in Biology that day we were past ignoring each other. But the next day after my date with Tyler he wouldn't even acknowledge me or for the rest of the week. He was doing a fine job of it today as well. I wasn't sure why he was upset though, but I gave up on hoping we could be friends.

Things between Tyler and I were going well though. After deciding neither of us were that into each other, he was planning to ask Angie out. Currently we were sitting in the cafeteria just chatting with his friends. One of his older friends, Embry, decided he liked picking on Tyler quite a bit.

"So Tye, when are you gonna take Ana on a date?" Embry asked looking between Tyler and I. I had forgotten no one knew about our date except Edward. Tyler laughed.

"I already did." Everyone looked surprised.

"Oh my God I didn't know ya'll were dating!" Jessica said excitedly.

"We're not." Tyler said.

"It's true. He's in love with someone else. Heartbreaker." I said dramatically giving a fake sniff. Everyone laughed.

"Oh yeah. You're so heartbroken." Tyler told me sarcastically. I just laughed.

"So who'd the unlucky girl… or guy?" Embry laughed. Tyler gave him a glare.

"Angela." I said feigning sorrow. "Leaving me for my own best friend." Tyler rolled his eyes at me.

"Ha ha."

"Seriously though, when are going to ask her out?" I prodded.

"Soon. Lay off me." Tyler grumped. With that we continued to tease him until it was time for class. I made my way to Biology, glad that today was Friday. I went to the back of the classroom and watered our plants. There were several shoots already starting to grow. It was kinda exciting even if it was just a silly science experiment.

"How are they doing?" A deep smooth voice said near my ear. I held back a gasp turning wide eyed to face Edward.

"Uh, good. Lots of sprouts. Especially the radish seeds." I managed turning back to the table. I felt a shiver go through me at his closeness. Why was he talking to me?

"They are coming along quite nicely." He agreed. We headed back to our table with that.

"How are you doing today?" The voice asked me. I turned surprised he was still talking to me. And looking at me deeply with those soulful golden green eyes.

"I'm well. You?" Were we really making small talk?

Edward chuckled lightly. "I am well too."

"Good deal." I commented lamely not knowing what else to say.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" He asked me suddenly unsure.

"No not really, but you confuse me. One day we're having amazing conversation about pianists, then the next you don't acknowledge me." I answered honestly. He looked sad and contrite at what I said.

"I have tried to stay away from you, but it's not working. Somehow you manage to make me forget who I am." He commented cryptically.

"That's really not helpful at all." I said getting peeved. "Look, if you don't like me that is perfectly fine, but don't act like my friend one minute then as if I have horns the next. I'm done being toyed with for someone else's amusement. So if you have something to say then say it. Otherwise leave me alone."

He looked a little taken aback, but then he grinned. I wanted to punch him.

"On the contrary, I _do_ like you. But you are right. I have been abominably rude. It was not my intention to toy with you. Only, I find myself unable to leave you alone."

"Lucky me." I grumbled. This was impossible. The man made no sense. I should just ignore him. Give him a taste of what he does to me. But I always sucked at ignoring people. "Why can't you leave me alone?" I asked my curiosity getting the better of me.

He looked confused and contemplative. "I do not know. I find you very difficult to understand. Why you do certain things. It puzzles me."

That had me completely bewildered. "What? I haven't done anything though. What do you mean?"

Just as he opened his mouth to speak, Mrs. Harper started class. We would be watching a movie today. Great, that meant I couldn't talk to Edward about what he meant. I sighed grumpily as the lights were turned off and some documentary about coral reefs started playing. Normally I would have been excited for it, but today I just wanted to talk to Edward.

A nudge at my elbow had me looking over in surprise. There was a note. I opened it surprised by its contents. He had lovely hand writing.

**I only meant that people do things for a reason. No one does anything for no purpose. I do not understand your purpose in how you react to the way others treated you. I did not understand your purpose in going out on a date with Tyler. **

I felt somewhat better at reading his note, while at the same time feeling more confused. What did it matter either way? I wrote him back trying to explain.

**I know it may seem hard to believe, but I do things based on how I feel not by some preconceived course of action. I act in a way that I feel is right, it is better to ignore what people do than to retaliate. As for Tyler, that is a bit harder to explain, but like I told you before I wanted to. I wanted to know what it would be like to go on a date for once.**

I looked over my note, not really satisfied but slid it back over to him. He only took a few moments before he slid it back to me.

**But why Tyler? Couldn't you have asked someone else? As for the other part I suppose I understand, I'm not sure it is the right thing to do, you could have told you father or someone. You didn't have to suffer alone.**

I was finally starting to understand, but he didn't know just how cruel Mike and his parents could be.

**I did tell my father at first. But the Mayor got involved. Suffice to say that he almost had my father fired so I let it go. And I didn't see any reason to tell my dad afterwards. He wouldn't have been able to do anything, it would have killed him to know. Again like I told you before, I don't have any other options. And Tyler is a good guy. So lay off it, he is my friend.**

I could tell he wasn't happy with my note.

**I see. I will not speak badly of Tyler again then. How did your date go?**

Well I wasn't expecting that

**It went really well. **

What else could I say? I didn't want to put down about the kiss, but there wasn't really anything else to talk about. So I just slid the note over.

**What no details? **

He wanted details?

** Do you really want details? Are we friends now? **

I really wanted to know. I wanted to be his friend.

**Yes. I would like to be your friend. If I can.**

If he can. What is that supposed to mean... I can't believe I'm about to write this.

**Okay. Umm dinner was good. We walked on the beach and he kissed me. Then he took me home.**

I looked over as he read it. I watched his hands clench then relax. He quickly wrote something down and passes the note back to me.

**Was it a good kiss?**

Umm weird.

**This is really awkward by the way, but yes. It was a nice first kiss.**

His fists clenched again, but didn't release this time.

**How nice?**

I laughed reading it. He sounded jealous.

**It was very nice.**

He frowned even more now.

**That is not very informative.**

I almost laughed.

**Jeeze how much detail do you want? If he slipped me the tongue and made my knees go weak?**

I watched his expression out of the corner of my eyes. I couldn't tell if he was amused or not. I was just messing with him. I hoped he got that.

**Not exactly… but I do find myself rather curious.**

My eyes bugged a little. Did he really want to know all of that? I mean Angie and I didn't even talk about this stuff… much. Well neither of us had really had any experience, but that's not the point.

**What exactly do you want to know?**

He looked frustrated.

**I guess how much it meant to you.**

I sighed giving in telling the truth.

**It was probably the best first kiss I could have hoped for, but… aside from it being sort of momentous because I had never been kissed before, it didn't mean anything. In other words, there was no chemistry. No fireworks. Not even a spark. **

I watched as he read. He smirked a little and relaxed.

**So you and Tyler are not together then?**

I shook my head, but wrote it down anyways.

**No. We decided to part on good terms as just friends. I told him to ask Angie out. I have a feeling they would make a cute couple. Jealous much?**

He somehow looked both puzzled and relieved.

**Yes.**

I was a little surprised by the admission.

**Well I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Angie is gorgeous. **

He looked confused my statement. Shaking his head he wrote something down.

**I was referring to Tyler kissing you.**

Me? That can't be right.

**Me? You… like me? I mean**_** like**_** me like me?**

Well that probably didn't make much sense.

**Yes. I like you like you.**

I was a little flabbergasted. He liked _me_?

**Why?**

I watched him smirk and then frown. So many emotions were running across his face it was hard to keep up.

**You have a particular way about you that intrigues me like I have never felt before. It is a bit difficult to explain.**

I was still stunned and had no idea what to say.

**Ditto.**

Did I really just write that? Too late to take it back.

**Ditto? Does that mean you reciprocate my feelings?**

Jeeze the way he talked sometimes. I felt like I was reading an old romance novel set in the 1800's.

**Yes.**

Man I really needed to get a better vocabulary. He looked pleased though. He was about to write something down when he stopped suddenly. I wondered why until the lights flickered on and Mrs. Harper stopped the video.

"Since its Friday, I'm feeling a little generous. You can have the rest of the period to talk amongst yourselves so long as you keep the volume to a minimum."

I wondered how Edward knew she was going to do that.

"Uh psychic much?" I commented. He flashed me a sharp look. "You were about to write me back then you stopped. And then she turned the lights on."

"I saw her heading for the light switch. I just guessed." He said nonchalantly.

"Mmhmm. I don't believe you." I told him with a suspicious look. He laughed at me.

"Are you trying to distract me?"

"From what?" I was genuinely confused.

"From asking you out on a date."

It took my brain several seconds longer than it should have to process what he just said.

"A date… with me?" I said stupidly. He laughed at me again.

"Yes. You said you liked me. So, will you go on a date… with me?"

"Yeah." Holy guacamole! Did Mike falling into a cake suddenly make me a date magnet? If so I kinda liked it.

"Would tonight be good for you?"

"Uh sure, as long as you don't mind staying in. I planned to make chicken manicotti tonight and I set the chicken out to thaw this morning." Edward looked surprised, but smiled at me.

"If you do not mind having company."

"Not at all. I will probably will start cooking around five, but you can come over whenever you like."

"Should I bring anything?" I hadn't thought of that.

"Just yourself." I said smiling at him. He smiled sweetly back. "I am curious about something."

"What might that be?" He asked me cautiously.

"Why did you decide to talk to me today? I mean you were very distant this whole week and it gave me the complete opposite impression that you are giving me now. I guess I wonder what changed." He looked at me contemplatively.

"I felt it best not to get close to you. I am not a good friend for you Ana. I tried, I really tried to stay away, but I could not resist." He said all cryptically again. I tried to find some sense in his words.

"Why do you think you are not a good friend for me? Isn't that a decision I should be the one to make?" I asked softly. He looked pained.

"There are things you do not know, and things I cannot say. It is not judicious to be my friend."

"You think you are bad for me." He nodded curtly. "Why? Aside from ignoring me, which you claim to be for my own good, you have actually been one of the kindest people I have ever met. I don't see anything bad." I told him gently, feeling as if this was important.

"You do not know me. You do not see me clearly." His voice went rugged and sort of harsh.

"Maybe, but maybe you don't see yourself clearly. It's easy to think the worst, we are our own worst critics. Sometimes we need to look at ourselves through someone else's eyes."

He gave me a look that I could only describe as hopeful.

_Brrriiiiinnnnggg!_

The bell. Class was over. I was surprised time had passed so quickly. I gave Edward a small smile.

"Well I'll see you later." I said to him as we left class. He nodded his head and we parted ways. I couldn't wait for later.

I made it home in record time as I was really excited for my date with Edward. It was only 3:20. As I walked through the door I realized I should probably clean the house up a little bit. Not that it was really dirty but some light dusting, picking up things, and such needed to be done. And excited grin spread across my face as I did what I do when I always clean house. I quickly changed into some cotton shorts and a tank top

I hooked my I-pod up the surround sound system in the living room and set it on shuffle. I had it way turned up, just like I liked when I clean. A rock song rolled out as I danced up the stairs going to clean the bathroom. The music was plenty loud so I could hear it perfectly clear. I laughed getting into the music and humming along as I scrubbed.

I continued to dance around the house cleaning and lip singing to the songs that came on. I was currently pretending to belt out the lyrics to 'Smack Thank' by Akon, fake singing into a can of furniture polish as I wiped down the coffee table. I was, admittedly, getting really into the song, dancing like I was at the club or something.

I came to an abrupt halt as I realized there was someone standing in the hallway between the living room and the front door watching me.

Edward was standing there looking at me with a mixture of amusement and wonder. I felt my cheeks flush as I wondered how long he had been standing there. I groaned inwardly remembering I had even just dipped down to the floor like I was grinding on someone. I was going to die of mortification. When I regained control of my feet, I hurried to turn off the music. The silence that surrounded us was almost worse.

"Uh, hi." I managed to say. "Umm, how long have you been there?" Edward's grin grew bigger and I wanted to disappear.

"Long enough to discern it may have been more fun to have a partner." I was definitely going to die. Play it off.

"Well the couch sufficed, but if I had known you were there…" I trailed off letting him come to his own conclusions. He looked mildly surprised before laughing.

"I did knock, but as loud as you had your music going I assumed, correctly, that you did not hear it."

"He he." I laughed a little nervously. "I was a little distracted. What time is it?"

"About 4:20. I hope I am not too early."

"Well it's a little too late for that now." I laughed. "Unfortunately I am not ready. If you don't mind I'm gonna grab a quick shower. Feel free to wander around." He nodded at me and I took off running up stairs.

"Jeeze Louise. That was embarrassing." I mumbled laughingly at myself as I hopped in the shower. I was only in long enough to wash my hair and give my body a quick scrub. I tried getting ready as quickly as possible, throwing on comfortable clothes instead of a well thought out outfit. I settled for an over large Metallica shirt and my favorite blue jeans, sans socks and shoes. We were at my house after all.

A little more calmly than I ran up, I descended the stairs. I found Edward flipping through the racks of CD's beside the entertainment center. He straightened as I came into the room. His eyes widened slightly as he took in my appearance. I wondered if I went a little too informal. Too late now.

"Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long?" He gave me an easy smile.

"Not at all. I was just looking at your collection. I am afraid I am not very well aquatinted with many of these albums."

I nodded understanding. "I like odd stuff. I wouldn't say its obscure, but you have to be fairly into the different styles to know some of the bands."

"I see. Do you have a favorite?" I shook my head adamantly.

"I have a lot of favorites. It just depends on my mood and the genre. You can't have a single favorite out of all the genera's. Maybe one for each, but I can't even do that." He smiled understandingly at me. "I think I have a favorite song for each band, but that's about as far as can go."

"What is your favorite song by John Denver then?" He asked me grabbing the first CD he saw. I gave him a surprised look.

" 'Sunshine on My Shoulders'. My dad used to play the record and sing it to me. I would fall asleep listening to it. If it was a life or death situation where I had to choose a favorite of all songs, that would be it."

"It is a nice song."

"Do you have a favorite?" I asked him curious. "I know we talked a lot about classical music, but we never covered the more contemporary."

"No, I feel about the same when it comes to music. There is too much to love to single any single song out for favoritism."

"Are you really into modern music too then?" He gave me a sheepish smile nodding. "It's the perfect getaway. Well not as perfect as classical, but still fun."

"Indeed. Are you cold?" I asked looking pointedly at his jacket.

"I forgot I even had it on." With that he shrugged out of the coat and laid it over the back of the couch.

"You can take your shoes off too if you like. Whatever makes you most comfortable."

"I think I will take them off then." I was glad, I really did want him to be comfortable.

"I'm not really sure what I have in the way of entertainment aside from music and movies. I may have a few old board games, if that interest you?" I was finding myself feeling a little awkward and not really sure what to say.

"What kind of board games?" He asked me with a curious smile.

"Umm I think we have Sorry, Monopoly, Battleship, and a chess &amp; checkers set."

"You play chess?" He asked me surprised.

"Not well." He chuckled slightly at my admission. "But I'm pretty ferocious at checkers." I told him grabbing the set from the hallway closet.

"I bet I could beat you." He told me with a cheeky smirk.

"Well what have you got that I want?" I returned he challenge. He gave me a wicked look and flashed an evil grin.

"How about whoever wins has to make the other's favorite dessert?" I was surprised at the wager.

"Deal. My favorite is red velvet cake." I told him saucily as I set up the checkers board. He gave me a curious look. "What?"

"Red velvet is my favorite too."

"Oh wow. Great minds think alike!" I laughed. "I have to be honest. I make a mean red velvet cake. Once you've had some of mine you can never go back." I told him seriously.

"All the more reason to beat you then."

"Let the games begin." And so they did. For the first few minutes we played in serious combat. I took several of his pieces, but he returned the favor taking several of mine.

Crap why hadn't I seen that coming? I thought as he triple jumped me taking three more of my pieces. Luckily his move freed open a space that allowed me to crown myself.

"Mwahahaha!" I laughed evilly as took more of his pieces. He gave me surprised look.

"You are pretty good."

"Told ya!"

"But not as good as me." And with that he took two more pieces and crowned himself as well.

"Dang." I mumbled surveying the board looking for a good move to catch me up.

The game continued like this for a few more minutes until he had me cornered. I had only one move left. It allowed me to take one of his kings, but would put me in a position to be taken. I took it having no other choice.

"Well you beat me. I guess this means I have to ruin you to all other cakes now." He chuckled at me. Glancing at the clock I realized it was almost five. "Oh I better get started on dinner."

"May I help you?"

I gave him a wide smile. It was almost like a repeat of that Thursday. "Of course." We walked to the kitchen together. "Have you made chicken manicotti before?" He shook his head at me.

"No, but I imagine it is somewhat similar to lasagna."

"In a way. Actually I make spinach chicken manicotti. I hope that's alright?"

"Perfectly. What do I need to do first?"

"Well the chicken needs to be baked first and the noodles boiled. I'll prepare the chicken if you start the noodles." And with that we were working together side by side preparing dinner. We chatted about school and his family as I mixed the cream cheese and spinach together.

"I'm glad to hear Carlisle is doing well. He seems like a great person. Actually of your family seem pretty cool."

"They are unique." I looked over to find him staring at me with his big eyes turning more gold.

"Everything alright?" I felt my mouth go a little dry with him looking at me like that. Like he wanted to eat me. I was getting way too excited about that.

"I was just wondering…" He trailed off for a moment. "You do not often talk about your family. Your dad is out of town?"

I felt my gut clench in a nervous way, nodding my head.

"Yeah, Paris this time. He is out of town a good bit. He is kinda high up at work and they always have to send him places." I could feel the sadness seeping into my voice. I was always alone. Sometimes the feeling could get overwhelming.

"He should be home soon though right?" Edward put in. I gave him a sad smile.

I shook my head. "He was supposed to be here today. But he called me this morning to say they had a malfunction at the factory and that he hoped to be home soon, maybe another week. Unfortunately, the last time he told me that he was gone for a month."

Edward gave me a sad look. "Why did you not go stay with your mom?" I felt the knot in my stomach get worse. I focused on mixing the contents of the bowl.

"My mom is a junkie." I was barely able to get the words out. "She's somewhere in Florida last I heard." I didn't even have to look at Edward to know the kind of look he was giving me. I could feel the pity rolling off in waves.

The loud alarm of the timer made me jump, bringing my mind out of dark places. I gave a small laugh shaking my head at myself and pulled the chicken from the oven.

"Alright I think those noodles are ready. Go ahead and strain the water out." I told him coming back to life. I carefully put the hot chicken on the cutting board. Then laid out some parchment paper for the noodles to be set on.

"Alright, now set the noodles out straight. After I cut the chicken and mix it in the stuffing we will paste the noodles and roll them up." I said cheerily. Edward gave me a soft smile.

So as he got to work on laying out the noodles I cut up the chicken. I must have been somewhat distracted though, because before I knew it I had a long bleeding gash in my finger from coming down on it with a rather sharp knife.

"Crap!" I exclaimed running to rinse the cut. I turned to Edward to tell him I cut myself when I stopped dead in my tracks.

His face had contorted to that of an angelic looking devil. His eyes were pure black, mouth slightly open with his canines elongating to the point they hung well below his lips, and his face was strained, vessels bulging in what appeared to be restraint. He was staring at my finger. It was hanging limply by my side dripping red pearls onto the white tile of the kitchen floor.

We stood that way staring at each other for what felt like several long minutes. I felt a warning to stay still. That any movement might set him off. I knew, against the screaming in my brain to run, that Edward was trying to control himself. Suddenly he looked up at me, and into my eyes.

I gave him a slow soft smile; trying to reassure him. He took a step back.

"Go." I barely whispered the word and he was gone, leaving me to stare in wonder at what I had just witnessed.

**So now she knows! Was this how you planned it happening? What's coming next?**

**I demand reviews! Just kidding, but really I would love them. THANKS for reading this far! :D**


	10. Panic

**Chapter 10: Panic**

**Ana's POV**

"_Go." I barely whispered the word and he was gone, leaving me to stare in wonder at what I had just witnessed._

I was still standing in the kitchen in slight shock when the shrill sound of a cellphone rang through the house. I whirled around trying to locate the where the chiming was coming from. I followed the noise to the living room. Sitting there on the back of the couch was Edward's coat. In his flight, he had forgotten it; along with his shoes I noted.

As I neared the jacket the ringing stopped. I felt unsure of what role I was to play. When the ringing started back again I didn't hesitate. I reached into the pocket and pulled out the tiny device, noting with some humor it was an old style flip phone. No fancy smartphone here. The name Alice was flashing across the screen. Without considering the consequences I flipped the device open and held it to my ear. Before I could say a word a rushed voice screeched out the other side.

"_Edward have you lost your mind! What were you thinking going over there! Is she dead? Please tell me she isn't dead. I saw a vision of blood everywhere and Ana's lifeless body in your arms, then everything went black! WHAT HAPPENED?" _Alice cried through the phone. I was in temporary shock at the picture painted. Alice had a vision; she knew about what happened, but it didn't happen. It could have, but didn't. Was Alice psychic? Was I really that close to death? The thought made me shiver.

"_Hello?! Edward what happened!"_ The voice yelled again bringing me out of my stupor.

"Umm, hi this is Ana. Edward ran out." I said a bit timidly.

Silence.

"I am alive though if that helps." Dumb, dumb, DUMB! What should I say? "I think Edward is okay, he left very quickly though leaving his coat here. I wasn't trying to snoop, but when the phone kept ringing I thought it might be important."

I heard a deep sigh on the other end.

"_Are you alright?"_ Alice asked me. I was somewhat surprised.

"Yeah. I mean I guess I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little shook up… or confused. But overall I'm good. Do you think Edward is okay though? I'm worried about him." I told her the concern seeping through my voice.

"_I believe he is alright. I am uncertain if he will be back though."_ Was the hesitant reply.

I gave a short laugh. "Well I guess I don't blame him. It was too much to think I'd have another good first date. Anyways, since I have some of his stuff would you like me to hold on to it or bring it to you? Or if you aren't comfortable seeing me I could leave it on the porch." I hastily added at the end when met with silence.

"_That will not be necessary. Someone will come by tonight to get his things."_

"Alright. Anytime before midnight is fine." I gave a small pause before adding, "If you see Edward before I do will you tell him I'm sorry… about tonight."

"_Of course."_ Was the gentle reply.

"Thanks Alice." And with that we hung up.

I placed the phone back where I found it then folded the jacket neatly. When I was done I headed to the kitchen to clean up my mess and take care of cut.

So much for our date.

**Edward's POV**

I ran.

I ran as fast as I could away from the beautiful tan face full of concern and understanding. Images of her limp lifeless body floated through my mind. I had imagined sinking my teeth into her a thousand different ways. There was no one to stop me, no one who would have known. It would have been fine, just one body. I could have cleaned up my tracks, disposed of her body somewhere in the forest. They would say it was a bear attack, no one would ever guess.

But I couldn't.

I couldn't take that precious life away no matter how I ached for it.

So I ran.

I had made it all the way to my favorite spot deep in the woods before I slowed down. Now far away, the smell of damp forest and wild animals filled my senses cleansing the potent scent of her blood from my nose. I could still imagine it, but it was easier to think here away from her. I could breathe. I stayed in the forest for a while sitting on a dead log, listening to the sounds of nature. After a while my thirst for Ana's blood calmed and my rational thinking took full control.

I thought back to her face and especially her eyes. A mixture of surprise, concern, and… trust filled them. It was only that, that had stopped me from moving towards her. When I had looked into her loving eyes, a shock went through me. I was stunned to see her face me in my wildest form, ready to attack, with only care and love shining in her face. She had seen me at my absolute worst and not only was she not scared, she had understood. She told me to go. It was as if she knew and trusted me to do so. I still felt stunned at her behavior. How could she be so calm?

What if she wasn't? What if I had imagined it and she's freaking out about me? What if she hates me?

I tried to push the thoughts away, but they niggled and wiggled their way into my brain. I was so overwhelmed with the thoughts I failed for the first time in my life to take notice of my surroundings. It was only when a soft hand held my shoulder that I jumped out in surprise.

"Whoa there. I never thought anyone would be able to sneak up on you." Esme told me teasingly. Her voice was calm, but I could hear the thoughts and doubts.

"You know." I said with shame seeping into my voice. I blocked her voice out of my head. I really didn't want to know what happened after I left. It was doomed to be bad.

Esme gave me a nod and a hopeful smile.

"Yes, but I don't understand why you are so upset dear."

"I almost killer her." I spoke low, the pain of everything I felt inside me releasing in an anguished breath. Esme's smile faded and she took my face in her hands and brushed my hair from my eyes. A motherly gesture meant to show her love and calm me. It usually worked. "Not only that but I exposed us." I whispered out in a horrified voice.

"Edward honey, accidents happen. And what's more, you knew eventually you would want her to know. Maybe this wasn't the best way for it to happen, but it's out in the open now between you two."

While I agreed to some extent, I feared Ana's reaction.

"What if she hates me now?" I said voicing my concern.

Esme gave a gentle laugh and I saw in her mind what had happened since I had left. The conversation with Alice. Ana's reaction had been amazingly calm and understanding, just as she had been in the kitchen. I had let my self-doubt take that away. I was still worried about seeing her in person though, but I needed to.

"Why don't we go back to the house? I think Alice may have something to tell you to make you feel better."

I shook my head. "No. I need to go see Ana." I realized as I said this it was well past ten o'clock. I had been gone for hours. I just hoped Ana would hear me out.

"Go to her then." Esme told me with a knowing smile. And so I did.

**Anabelle's POV**

I was currently sitting in my room watching the movie "Animal House" on my bed when my bedroom door creaked open and Edward's face appeared in the door way. I was surprised, but glad. I glanced at the clock on my bedside table. 11:04 pm. I pulled my ear buds out and set my laptop to the side.

"This is becoming a bad habit of yours Mr. Cullen."

He gave me a confused glance.

"Not knocking." I clarified. "You never know, I could have been doing something _naughty_." I told him with a teasing tone. He finally grinned.

"I did knock, but I figured you didn't hear it since you were watching a movie." He told me. I gave him a curious look. How did he know I was watching a movie? Was that part of his abilities?

"Right." I said somewhat lamely. He came to sit beside me on the bed.

"Ana we need to talk."

"Okay, but can I finish the movie first? It was just getting to one of the funny scenes." I asked him pleadingly like a five year old wanting to stay up past bedtime. He laughed shaking his head at me.

"Alright."

"Yay!" And so I unplugged my headphones and turned the screen so that we could both watch. I giggled as the innuendo scene with a cucumber came on. Edward gave me a knowing look. As the movie continued I tried not to blush. Lord how had I forgotten about all the nudity in this movie!

When it was finally over we both laughed.

"Okay you can talk to me now." I told him cheerfully. He gave a great sigh and looked at me deeply.

"About earlier," he started and paused. "I suppose I owe you an explanation, although I believe that you may already understand." I held up my hand for him to stop when he went to continue.

"Edward. As much as I would _like_ an explanation, you don't have to give me one. I know what I saw, and I won't lie and say it didn't scare me a little, but you _don't_ owe me anything."

He laughed and shook his head. "That just makes me want to tell you more. The fact that you expect nothing, when you could have much, that tells me so much more than you could ever say."

I really didn't know what to say so I kept quiet.

"Anabelle, I want you to understand just one thing, before I tell you my story." I nodded my understanding. "I would never hurt you. Ever. Earlier tonight I thought that I might, but now I know better."

I gave him a soft smile and reached out to touch his hand. "I know you would never hurt me." He gave me a sad smile.

"I suppose it should get on with it then." He paused and I waited anxiously. "I am going to tell you a story, about me that will hopefully clear up everything, but I am afraid I don't know where to start."

"At the beginning?" I suggested. He nodded.

"Then my story begins on the day I died."

**I Know, its super short, but I needed a transition chapter. I promise you're getting a meaty chapter next time! I will have it up soon.. like a few hours probably.**

**REVIEWS are welcomed, loved, wanted, and needed!**


	11. Edward's Story

**Chapter 11: Edward's Story**

**Edward's POV**

"Then my story begins on the day I died." As I spoke the words my world flashed back to a different time and place, nearly 128 years ago.

"I was a young man about 17, a little somber, but fairly healthy. The year was 1903. Theodore Roosevelt was president and the 'Teddy Bear' had just been released for the first time. I remember because the second they were released my little sister, Ann, just had to have one. It was all she could talk about.

"We lived out in the country with my aunt and uncle. Our parents had both died during the Spanish-American war, so it was up to me mostly to raise Ann. She was a doll, only about seven years at the time so I felt I had to get her one. Six cents a bear. I was making about a dollar a day working on the neighbor's farm to help my aunt and uncle pay bills, so it was pretty easy to save up to buy her one, but I had to make the trip to town to do it. We lived out in a small town in Virginia, the nearest store was nearly a four hour ride with the horse and buggy. We were too poor to own a car.

"So when I could afford it, I took little Ann to town with me and I bought her a brand new teddy bear. She was about to burst at having something new, but that was alright, I understood. I felt pretty good myself being able to do something for her. I made a big deal out of the trip since we so rarely were able to have any fun. I took her out to lunch and then to see a picture show. By the time the movie was over we were gonna be late getting home, but I elected to hurry home instead of put out for a hotel room for the night. My mistake cost us both.

"On the way out of town we came across a couple. They were the most gorgeous people I had ever seen. Beautiful alabaster skin, gold hair, and bright red eyes. One man and one woman. They stopped us with the guise of asking directions. At the time I felt a little apprehension, but they were on foot and I assumed they couldn't possibly mean us any harm, so we chatted just for a minute. The horses were acting restless so I tried to move on. Then they attacked.

"The man grabbed Ann and the woman held me down. She made me watch as her mate drained the life out of my screaming sister. I fought as hard as I could, but I knew very little in the way of these creatures or their strengths. I was pinned beyond all doubt, unable to even move an inch. And when they were done with my sister they turned on me. I screamed horrid names at them for what they had done, telling them they would pay. They found my impudence amusing and decided instead of eating me they would turn me into one of them. The worst kind of payback possible.

"I laid by the roadside mostly dead and wanting to die as the transformation started to take hold. I even plotted my own death, but I was too weak to actually do anything about it. And when the changing was complete I found no matter what I tried to do, death was impossible. At the time I was unaware of how being a 'Vampire' worked. I didn't know my strengths. If the urge to attack humans was instinctual and uncontrollable, or if it was an act just like any other. A choice. I didn't even know if it was only human blood I could have. And I was terrified of hurting someone.

"I kept in the woods away from civilization as much as possible wandering everywhere, trying to think of a way to die. I knew instinctively that blood of animals called to me. I smelled them everywhere, not extremely pleasant, but it called to me all the same. I resisted it. I was surprised to find that I could. And so I wondered if maybe it wasn't the same with people, so I decided to find out. Not a smart decision on my part.

"I easily tracked a nearby town. The aromas coming from it were far more tempting than that of the animals. A whole new level of tempting, but still I was able to resist so I got closer. It wasn't until I was near the edge of town when I realized it was a mistake. The thirst was so strong I could hardly think. It was only by the grace of a deer that I did not attack the first person I could find. Just when I my senses started to control me a great buck appeared, and I pounced."

I felt ashamed telling Ana this part of the story, but it was far too late to turn back. I wanted to look at her face, but I was afraid of what I might see, so I continued to keep my eyes closed as I relayed the unfolding events.

"When I was done with the poor beast, my hunger was…satisfied to a certain degree. It was there, but not strong and very easily ignored. The people in the town didn't seem so appealing anymore and I wondered if I could live that way. The thought at the time was abhorrent since I didn't want to live as a monster, but since I had yet to find a way to die it was a good alternative. So I stuck to the woods, feeding on animals whenever I felt the thirst increase, beyond what I thought was a safe amount. I believed at the time if I kept myself well satiated with animal blood that if I came across a human then I wouldn't be so tempted and I could get away before killing them.

"I lived like that for a few weeks wandering around, trying to figure out what to do when another of my kind found me. He was unlike the others, the ones that had killed my sister and changed me. His eyes were gold and his face was kind and I knew he was good. That was the first time I met Carlisle. He was on a hunting trip in the forest for deer when he picked up on my scent. I had come upon his as well, but I didn't understand what the smell was at the time. When we finally met he helped explain some things to me, about what I was and such. He was lonely for a companion and I was eager to understand my new life.

"He explained so much to me, about my strengths, ability, and in general how being a vampire worked. As I started to understand the urge to die drifted, I felt perhaps I could use my ability for good once I could control it. That it didn't have to be a curse. But most of all I wanted to use it to track down the ones that had changed me and give them what they deserved."

"Did you?" The angelic voice beside me asked. It was the first time she had spoken and I was slightly surprised it hadn't come sooner. I was unable to resist looking at her. Her eyes were full of unshed tears. It made my heart constrict in a way I had never felt before.

"Yes." I admitted, my shame showing in my voice. I looked away from her unsure of what she would think.

"Good." She whispered. I whipped my head around to look at her. So much love was shining in her tear filled eyes. "Even if it's wrong of me to say, no one who does that to a little girl should live. I'm glad you were honorable enough to avenge your sister." And with that she reached out and hugged me. I felt stunned. Nothing about this small creature beside me made any sense. She wasn't scared or hysterical, but understanding and so deeply affected that she cried for me. It was a humbling experience.

I wrapped my arms around her and breathed in her precious scent. It still held an amazingly strong appeal to me, but not so much that I felt scared I would hurt her.

She gave a small sniff and backed away out of the hug.

"Sorry to interrupt. Please finish your story." Her adorable tear streaked face was almost too much for me to handle. As gently as possible I wiped away her tears with my thumb. She gave me a shaky smile encouraging me.

"Well there isn't a whole lot left to tell to be honest. After I exacted my revenge I came back to Carlisle and I've been with him ever since. He taught me how to really control my thirst; how to be around humans for long periods of time without being overwhelmed with the urge to drink. He has been very much a father figure to me and I love him dearly. And over the years we have picked up the rest of the crew."

I sat in silence for a moment unsure of what all might be going through her head. While her face was very much an open book I still wanted to know the exact words.

"What no questions?" I asked teasingly, hoping to keep the atmosphere light after such a dark story. She gave me a cheeky grin.

"Just a thousand or so." I laughed.

"Alright shoot." She scrunched up her nose a little.

"I don't want to ask anything that would upset you. I'm a little worried of overstepping my bounds." She admitted. I shook my head.

"I've decided to be honest with you. You can ask me anything and I will answer you truthfully." She gave me a small grin.

"Okay. What is your favorite color?" I barked out a laugh at her question. She would direct the topic away from what I am to about who I am.

"Blue gray." I said looking at her eyes. A small blush rose to her cheeks, as if she knew I was talking about her eye color. "No other questions?" I teased again.

"I really don't want to be pushy. You've been more than kind telling me so much already. I don't want to drown you with all of my questions."

"To be honest, I rather like that you ask questions. It lets me know what you're thinking… sort of."

"Alright then if you really don't mind." She gave a small pause. "What are your abilities? You kept talking about them, but I'm not sure I understand what they are."

"Well I guess just going with the basics, all of my senses are multiplied a thousand times over. I can hear and smell up to miles away, see every minute detail on every surface, my sense of taste is beyond anything I could really compare to, but suffice to say I can pinpoint every single ingredient and a good approximation on the amount." Ana's eyes were wide with wonder.

"So you can eat stuff? I mean regular food?" I laughed at her surprised tone.

"Yes. I still eat and taste as a normal human would, but I have to consume blood too, since I can't make my own. That is where the thirst comes from."

"Does that mean you could die without food, or blood?" I was a little uneasy at her question, but I saw the innocence of it.

"It's a bit more complicated than that. I could live without regular food, it would just be uncomfortable. Sort of like not breathing. I can do it, but I don't like to. As for blood, any vampire can last without it, however it comes at a cost. Over a few days the thirst increases and as you continue to resist it gets stronger to the point where it is painful. Most of us would not be able to control an attack on animal or human if that were to happen. Our sense of rationale would be temporarily gone and we would be mindless beasts at that point. Also without blood we grow weaker, if a person was locked away for instance, with no blood for… let's say for twenty years. That person would become so weak they could no longer move, the body would start to waste away, and the life would become dormant. With blood, it could come back to its original state."

Ana pondered over this. I could tell she had questions, but she held them at bay. "That's… wow."

"What is it?" I asked sensing her hesitancy.

"But there's more right? You're really strong too, and fast." She stated, changing the topic slightly. I nodded my head.

"Yes. My strength and speed are rather phenomenal. I can probably run as fast as your truck will go and lift it up with as much ease as you would have picking up a pillow."

"Holy guacamole." I smiled a little at her tone. "I still have a feeling there's more though. I mean when Alice called me, she knew what happened between us. Can you see the future too?" I had forgotten about her talk with Alice, but I supposed if she could handle that and everything else with ease, she could handle what I had to say as well.

"Ah, no. Alice's gift is unique to her and to very few other individuals. Whenever we are changed along with our senses something else inside us amplifies. Alice was probably clairvoyant to some degree before her transformation which translated as being able to see the future. I have another unique gift. I can read minds." I watched her shocked face fill with a blush as she looked at me.

"Shit." Was all she said and I laughed. She blushed harder. "Sorry." She said.

I gave her a confused look. "What for?"

She looked back at me confused. "For what I was thinking?" She said the statement as more of a question.

"Perhaps I should clarify. I can read the mind of every single person I have ever come across, even if they were miles away, except you." I let that sink in for a minute. I watched her face change from confusion, to thoughtful, to surprised.

"So you mean to say, you can't read my mind. At all?" I nodded my head. She gave a relived sigh. "Not gonna lie, that makes me really, really relieved."

"Been thinking dirty thoughts about me?" I asked jokingly. She blushed again.

"Maybe." She admitted. I felt a little surprised myself. "Okay now I'm really curious about the mind reading thing. How far away can you hear?" I laughed at her enthusiasm.

"Well the more familiar I am with a person's voice the farther away I can hear them, but really for no more than a few miles."

"What about over the telephone?"

"Yes, it works over the telephone."

"Wow." She said. "That must be difficult. How does it work though?"

I thought for a moment for a way to explain. "It can be difficult. I can hear all voices at any given time, but I have been able to control it to the point where it's more like a quiet hum of voices. I can tune in or out whenever, but for the most part I can ignore the thoughts. However, the better I know someone or the louder the voice, the easier it is to pick up on it and therefore makes it harder to ignore."

"It seems like it would be really annoying and I probably wouldn't want to know what some people are thinking. Is that hard to deal with? I mean you would know all the bad things people do, rapist, murders, men that beat their wives, or whatever."

I was a stunned yet again with how much she seemed to understand me. People didn't usually tend to think of the consequences of such an ability.

"It can be annoying. And in the cases where I find out bad things, I try to find a way to make it right. Give an anonymous tip to the police or something of the sort. It can be a burden."

"I'm sorry. As lame as it is for me to say, that really sucks the big one. I hope at least with me it's some sort of reprieve."

"It is. It's very nice to be with you, but it's also just as frustrating at times."

She gave me a wide eyed look.

"What I mean is, I want to know what you are thinking and it drives me crazy that I can't." With that she laughed.

"Well the feeling is mutual, although I'm glad you can't read my mind. However, I am willing to answer honestly if you ever did want to know so long as you do the same for me."

"Deal." We both grinned. "So what are you thinking right now?"

"That you are amazing. That the first day I met you I never would have guessed at just how special you are. I mean I knew you were really sweet and drop dead gorgeous, but I didn't know all of this. It's a bit bananas, but not in a bad way." I laughed at her description and honesty. "What about you, what are you thinking?"

I had decided to be honest with her so I told the truth. "That I think you are amazing yourself. I don't understand how you can be so calm about all of this, and I'm thinking that you are the gorgeous one." She blushed at me and shook her head.

"Well I guess I just trust you. You haven't given me a reason not to and I'm really happy you told me all of this, even though I know it has to be hard for you. I do have more questions if it's okay?" She asked hesitantly.

"Please, I'm an open book."

"Is your family okay with me knowing all of this? I know to some degree I present a threat by knowing of your existence alone, and while I would never tell anyone, granted no one would believe me if I did, I still feel like this is something your family may not be okay with."

I knew this question was coming, but I was still unsure as how to answer it. Could I tell her about Alice's vision of us falling in love?

"Sorry I asked. I can tell you don't want to answer." She told me.

"No. It's alright. With Alice having visions, there is not much that we don't know will happen. Oftentimes it is too late that a vision comes for us to do anything about. Alice saw us together, and you knew about us. That is part of the reason I tried to stay away from you. While the vision proved that you would be okay, that we would all be okay there is still that fear of exposure. At the time I felt I owed it to my family to stay away from you, keep the secret safe."

Some understanding crossed her face and she dipped her head in thought.

"That still doesn't answer my question though. Are they okay with it now?"

"That is hard to say. I imagine that Alice, Carlisle, and Esme are on my side. The others I am not so sure about. I do know however, they want me to be happy and I am with you. You do not have anything to fear through them though. I made my decision when I came over earlier today; you finding out was a risk I was willing to make. They accept that I have that right and that I would not do anything to endanger us. Mostly I think some of them fear that I can't read your mind."

"I see, but I'm also still confused." Ana told me. "Alice's visions are not always right, the one of you killing me proves that. From that I understand the future is not written in stone, but is altered by the choices we make every day. The one of me and you where I knew the secret may have not come true, I could have made a different choice. So knowing all of that, why would you risk me finding out?"

She was much more logical and astute than I gave her credit for. I knew then I would not be able to keep the whole of Alice's vision from her. It would help explain.

"I suppose first I should offer you an apology. I omitted a very important piece of information about Alice's vision because I was afraid of how you would take it. But I see that I should have told you anyways. Hopefully it will clear things up for you." I took a deep breath and looked her straight in the eye. "In Alice's vision you didn't just know about us. We were in love. I felt my love for you even before it was realized."

Ana gasped at me, wide eyed.

"It is a hard thing to understand, but I will do my best to explain. Seeing yourself fall in love with someone almost makes it impossible not to. I already knew every reason why I loved you, and I could feel that love. It isn't something that I could erase from my memory or keep from happening. At that point, watching it happen, it did happen. I fell in love with you while seeing her vision. The only thing remaining would be for you to fall in love with me. From the vision I knew it would happen. No, visions are not always set in stone, but it's hard to argue that when it's already become half true."

Ana's eyes suddenly became misty. "So I risked you finding out and possibly telling someone for the chance for you to fall in love with me. And now that sounds really cheesy when I say it out loud." She shook her head vehemently.

"It's not cheesy. It's beyond sweet." She said with a watery smile.

"I did not mean to make you cry." I felt embarrassed and stupid for saying anything now.

"No, it's good tears. It's just so sweet and I couldn't have ever imagined someone so sweet falling in love with me. I really like you Edward, I really do. I'm not sure if I love you yet, because I've never been in love before. And I don't take saying it lightly, because I want to mean it and it not just be words. I can tell you this though, being with you makes me feel full…of happiness. Maybe that is love, but I don't know. I hope you aren't disappointed."

Maybe I was a tiny bit disappointed that she didn't love me, but I was also stunned that she could have strong feelings for someone like me.

"No, I am definitely not disappointed. I think that you liking me is more than enough especially considering today was just our first date. I still have time to make you fall in love with me." And with that I winked at her. She threw back her head and laughed.

"I don't think it would be too hard. You are really easy to be around." That warmed my heart a little. "So you said you were 17 in 1903. That makes you 128!" Well that was unexpected.

"Is that a problem?" She laughed.

"No, but it is extraordinary. What does a person do for that much time?"

"That is a good question. As of late I fill my days with high school."

"But what did you do before you were here?"

"Well I've been to high school seven times, and to college twice. I have two Doctorates. One in medicine and another in music." Her eyes went huge.

"How can you sit in high school all day if you already know more than most of the teachers in it?" I laughed at her tone. She seemed to imply my behavior was insane.

"Well it is a sort of penance I suppose. High school is easy, it's like sleeping. However, you are right, it does get incredibly dull and that is why I've gone to college a few times. But considering I look so young there isn't much I can do. People start to get suspicious when a boy who looks 17 is supposed to be 33."

She nodded her head understanding. "Alright I suppose I understand." Suddenly her brows knit in confusion. "Wait you said you have a PhD in Medicine. You're a doctor?"

"Yeah?" I said confused as to where she was going with it.

"But doctors have to be around blood a lot. How does that work?" Ahh, I see.

"Well as I've said before Carlisle helped me to work on my self-control. With it comes a certain detachment I can make from the blood to where it doesn't really bother me. I know you are thinking of the incident in the kitchen now, but that was a bit different." I quickly said before she could interrupt.

"When I was a practicing doctor, I was prepared to see blood and lots of it. I not only prepared physically by eating well, but also mentally; putting up my blockade. The suddenness of the cut tonight was part of the reason I had a problem. I just wasn't prepared, but also your scent… it is much stronger to me than anyone else's. I'm not sure if it's because of my feelings for you or if you just have really potent blood. Either way, I am fine when it's not fully exposed. But, it's significantly stronger when your blood is exposed to air, I was not prepared for just how strong it would be. To be honest this is the first time this has happened to me since I was first learning to control my thirst."

"Oh. Is it really hard for you to be around me now?"

"No. Like I said, so long as your blood stays inside you it's not so bad. If by chance you do start to bleed I am better prepared for it now. It will not be nearly as bad, because I am more cautious that it can happen. Also the longer I am around you the more it desensitizes me to it."

I could tell she was trying to take it all in. Everything about me, my past, and how it might affect her. I may not have been able to read minds but it was clearly written on her face.

"I have overwhelmed you." I stated simply. She cocked her head to the side with a slight smile.

"A little. It's a lot to wrap my mind around. I suppose I'm just trying to understand how everything must work for you, but enough of that. Are you hungry?"

The question caught me by surprise. I watched the blood rise in her cheeks.

"Why? You offering?" I joked. Her cheeks become redder.

She coughed laughed. "Just some of the food we made earlier. We never ate." She pointed out. I was surprised to find I was a little hungry so we made our way down the kitchen.

"So what are your plans for tonight?" She asked me as we dug into the Italian dish. I shrugged.

"Well considering it's already after midnight, I do not have any plans for this morning."

"Oh wow, I didn't realize how late it was. Do you need to get home?"

"Like you said Ana, I am 128 years old. I don't exactly have a curfew."

With that she laughed.

"In that case, would you like to stay the night?"

**Yay! End of chapter 11!**

**I had to end on an intriguing note. What will happen in the next chapter I wonder, if Edward stays over…. ;D**

**Anyone want some fireworks to go off ? or should we keep it PG… hmm,, **

**LET ME KNOW!**


	12. Getting to Know You

**Chapter 12: Getting to Know You**

**Edward's POV**

"In that case, would you like to stay the night?"

I knew if I did have a beating heart it surely would have stopped at those words.

"Stay the night?" I echoed.

She blushed deeply. "Well I didn't mean it like _that_. It's just… with dad gone all the time it gets kinda lonely. And I thought that… never-mind it was a stupid idea." She was so embarrassed her whole face was hot pink. My heart felt warmed that she would want me here.

"I would love to."

At my words she gave me the sweetest smile and her blush started to fade.

"Are you sure?" She asked me quietly looking longingly in my eyes. I nodded my head. Her cheek dimpled with a small smile.

"Good, now I can spoil you with red velvet cake." She grinned.

"Cake?" And suddenly I realized the house did smell of a freshly baked cake. How had I missed that?

"Yeah. Whenever I get nervous I like to bake." She admitted shyly.

"You were nervous?" I felt my stomach drop. I knew I had been the cause.

"Mmhmm. I was worried about you. I was afraid you might not come back." Her face was bright pink. I felt so relived and filled with happiness. It amazed me how much she already cared for me. "Anyways, I figured I owed you a red velvet cake since you won at checkers."

I laughed. It was just like her to remember the detail even after such a shocking discovery.

"I would love some cake." So we raided the kitchen of desserts and milk then headed back up to her room with our wares. We sat on her bed eating the magnificent cake.

"Eh! Be careful. I don't want crumbs in my bed." Anabelle warned me as a piece of cake teetered on the end of my fork on the way to my mouth. I was however blessed with quicker reflexes then she could possibly understand. Not a single delicious crumb would escape me.

"So good huh?" She gave me a conspiratorial wink. I chuckled at her banter.

"Most definitely. I am most certainly ruined to all other cakes." I really was though. The cake was marvelous.

"I told you." She teased.

"Yes you did." I looked her over, seeing the happiness on her face. She really did like having me here. I could imagine it being lonely, never having anyone around to talk to or share secrets with. Ana looked up at me sensing my reserve.

"Is something wrong?" She asked with a slight tilt of her head.

"No. I was just thinking that I could understand how lonely you must feel sometimes. Does Angela never stay over?"

"She does sometimes, but it can be hard to talk to her. She is my best friend and I love her, but there are things that she just wouldn't understand. Her parents are so loving and she has an older brother that looks out for her. I don't think she's ever felt defenseless and alone in the world."

I appreciated her honesty. She could have brushed it off; I was glad she trusted me enough to talk like this.

"Anyways, this is nice. Being able to just talk about whatever with you." She added. I felt the same way.

"Yes it is." She grinned at me. "Would it bother you if I asked you a few questions?" Her eyes lit with surprise.

"Of course not, after everything you've told me I think it would be crappy of me to refuse." I wasn't sure if I liked that, but I would take it regardless.

"It may be a bit personal." I warned her. Ana's eyes knit together as if to wonder what I could possibly ask. "I was wondering about your mom." Hurt, pain, betrayal quickly flashed across her face, before she was able to carefully mask it.

"What about her?" I noted her voice wasn't quite as schooled as her expression. It was just a hint tense.

"You said you came to live here six years ago. From that I got the impression you used to live with your mom." Ana nodded. "So what happened?"

Ana's face lost the mask of indifference. I supposed whatever it was that happened had to be pretty ugly.

"Edward, I don't want to lie to you. My past with Renee is… bad, extremely bad." She waited for my nod to continue.

"She was a good mother when I was little, then my parents divorced. She decided to move to Georgia, and my dad felt that I would be better off with her since I'm a girl. He came to see me a lot when we first moved away, but then he got busier with work and within two years he stopped coming.

"During that time she went off the deep end. Started drinking heavily, bringing home strange men, and doing all manner of drugs. You name it she did it. I wanted to leave, I wanted to go live with my dad, but I was only nine at the time and she went ballistic when I told her.

"That was the first time she ever hit me." She spoke the words so quietly, and the rage and despair of it all filled me. "I learned to keep my mouth shut after that, it was better than the beatings. She wasn't that big of a woman, but to a nine year old anything over a hundred pounds seems huge, especially when strung out on something.

"So I endured it for two more years and when I finally had an opportunity to leave I did. She had kept me away from my father, he had no clue what was going on. Whenever he called she watched over me, threatening me if I didn't lie saying how good I was, so she could get the child support checks. She kept his number hidden from me, so I couldn't call him when I was out of her sight. Then one night …" she paused for a moment and took a steadying breath, "I was able to get away. Dad was called and told him about some stuff. He flew down immediately and got me.

"Renee tried to come after him and me, but dad got the police involved. She made a good show at the hearing apparently and got off with a court order to go to rehab. She showed up at the house eight months later, blitzed out of her mind begging for money. Dad threatened to call the cops and she lit out. I haven't seen her since then, although I think she must have had some contact with dad. Anyways, I don't know where she is now nor do I care to."

I listened to her story, my anger increasing at what that woman had put her through. I had a feeling Ana wasn't even telling the half of it. I wondered how often she was beaten, how badly, or if worse things had occurred. My heart constricted for the young girl alone in the world, helpless to defend herself. And it ached for the young woman before me now with so much pain in her eyes. I wanted to take it all away. I gathered her into my arms, feeling her stiffen in surprised at first and then relax. When I looked down her eyes were closed and a few tear drops were gathered on her lashes.

"I'm so sorry Ana. I wish I could take it all away. I wish I had been there to save you." I whispered, my heart pouring out to her. She gave a small hiccup-sob and opened her eyes. The dark blue-gray had turned to a bright icy color. She gave me a tremulous smile.

Before I could think about what I was doing I leaned down and kissed away the tear drops on her lashes. Her skin was astoundingly soft to my lips as I kissed my way across her eyes and down her nose. I felt her heartbeat double as I neared her lips.

A voice in the back of my mind told me to stop, but I stamped it down. I wanted to chase away her demons even if it meant I was becoming more of one. And with that I came down on her lips with mine in a gentle whisper of a touch. Oh lord her lips were so incredibly soft. I wanted to deepen the kiss, but afraid of scaring her I kept it light, teasing. Her lips parted on a low moan. The noise shot right through me. Every fiber of my body felt tight with restraint.

Ana arched into me and the kiss. I couldn't help but let a moan of my own escape as she darted out her tongue to gently lick my bottom lip. The feeling was beyond anything of which I had ever felt before. I was unable to control deepening the kiss now, but I was ever so glad I did. Ana tangled her hands in my hair pushing herself so close to me I could feel her soft body everywhere.

"God you are so sweet," I murmured against her mouth. She tasted of honey and vanilla. A heady concoction that had a severe effect on my brain.

"Mmm, you too," she whispered back. I pulled back to see her dazzled face. She was looking up at me with heavy desire filled eyes. It pulled at my heart and _other_ areas as well. I knew I needed to stop before things got out of hand. So I gently kissed her nose again and sat up hugging her close to me.

I felt her heartbeat begin to slow after few minutes. When I looked down she still had a dazed look on her face.

"That good?" I whispered teasingly in her ear. She shuddered and her eyes slightly closed. I wondered at my profound effect on her.

"Yes." She whispered back. "I've never felt so…" she trailed off. I had a good feeling I knew what she meant though. "Thank you."

I felt my mouth curve into a smile. "No Ana, thank you."

She stared at me silently her eyes giving away more than she probably wished. I could tell she wanted me to kiss her again, not that she was pushing herself on me. There was just a look in her eyes, a longing that I very much related to.

"Is it always like this?" She whispered still staring. I was unsure if she meant that our kisses would always be like that or if it was that phenomenal with others from the past. As if sensing my confusion she elaborated. "I mean, surely you've kissed other girls. I only wonder if this kiss was more…" she paused as if reaching for a word. "Well just more I guess."

"There have never been any others." I admitted pondering what she would think of me now. Her eyes lit with surprise and a sweet tenderness.

"Because of the change?" She asked me gently.

"Partly. Before then I was entirely too busy working and raising Ann to court any girls. And after, well you could say finding a woman went to the bottom of the list of things to worry about."

"But what about over time? I mean you've been a vampire for what 111 years? I would think that 50 years would be more than enough time to get a hold of who you are. Surely there are other female vampires like you. I mean Alice and Rose both exist." She pointed out the holes in my admission. I hated how astute she could be sometimes.

I sighed giving in. "You're right. After a while I did start to think about women again. But I was certain at the time that no one besides Carlisle and myself lived only on animals. I knew I could never be with someone that preyed on innocents. And then as time went on, we came across the others and they converted to our way of life. First was Esme then Rose and then Emmett. He came for Rose because they loved each other so much. Alice and Jasper are a unique couple, with Alice's vision's she saw us and Jasper coming. And she already knew her choice. Jasper followed also for his love. Around the same time we started to meet other 'families' that lived the same way, but mostly they were other couples. I was continually the odd one out. After 80 years or so, I gave up looking."

Ana looked so sad sitting beside me.

"You mean there wasn't just one cute single vampire lady that would have given up human blood for you? Or someone who already had?"

"No, not exactly. There were some that didn't drink of humans, but I felt nothing for them and most of them felt nothing for me. There was one, however, she lived on humans but in a different way. Tanya's gift is somewhat similar to mine, but different. Those people out there that hurt children, abusers, and such; she knows who they are just by looking at them. And so she goes after them, taking only the lives of those that have taken or abused others. I suppose it couldn't fault her for it, she was at least getting rid of some of the scum of the Earth while still being herself. I admired that and she had an appreciation for me. I thought for a time we might could be something, but my feelings never grew past just that of a friend. I tried to love her, but when it came down to it, I just couldn't."

Ana looked thoughtful. "What about Tanya? Did she have feelings for you?" I gave an involuntary sigh.

"Yes. Which is part of the reason I tried to like her more. I figured after so long that it would be the best I could hope for. And then I would see Carlisle and Esme, and the look they shared along with all of their thoughts. It was so much more than anything I felt for Tanya, and I knew I never would feel that way about her, so I moved on and gave up finding the real deal."

"You didn't even kiss her though? I mean how do you really know if there aren't fireworks if you didn't even give her a good ole' lip-lock?" Ana asked me. I could tell there was a teasing to her question, but also that she believed what she said.

"I had considered it, but I feared making Tanya too attached to me. I didn't want to lead her on if at all possible and even just a kiss seemed like too much. I felt she would have taken more meaning out of it than would be meant. So I abstained and tried to get to know her without any physical intimacy."

"You're lucky she didn't drop you like a hot potato." Ana told me with a shake of her head. It made me laugh. "I'm serious. It's a wonder she didn't lose interest in you. If a guy can't even entertain the notion of kissing you, well then it's time to say goodbye."

"Well you and Tanya are completely different in that regard. Although I would agree with your side more." Ana smiled and then turned thoughtful. I waited for her question already knowing what it would be.

"Ask me." I urged her. She didn't blush as I would have expected. She just gave me a sad smile.

"Do you regret loving me? I mean wouldn't it be better if you loved another vampire? I'm just beginning to imagine all the issues that could arise if I did fall in love with you."

Scratch that, I was completely wrong about what she was going to ask. The question hit me like a ton of bricks. All the reasons I had used to stay away from her to begin with were surmounting. She would begin to age, and I would be forever young. Someday she might want children; I couldn't give her that. Any real physical intimacy would be impossible. And most importantly, she would die eventually. It made my heart ache to think about it.

"I don't regret my feelings. But you are right. There would be a lot of things I can't give you. Children, a normal home and lifestyle. You are right to be cautious."

"Would you ever turn me?" She asked the question directly, but I could hear the hesitancy. As if she didn't want to but felt it was important. I wondered if she was afraid my selfishness to keep her would drive me to take that choice away.

"No. I would never take that away from you Anabelle, no matter how much I may come to love you, I would never wish this life on anyone else."

"Even if I wanted it?" Her face was serious, no hesitancy now. I felt shocked. She couldn't be serious.

"Do you even realize what you are asking?" I felt my tone go harsh. Ana flinched. I felt like a cad. "I'm sorry Ana, but even the thought of you like me…" I trailed off unable to finish, feeling my throat constrict.

"I think you misunderstood. I wasn't _asking_ for you to change me. I only wondered if in the future, if we really were in love, if that would be a possibility. My understanding of love may be a bit different than yours, but I know love to be all consuming. You would do anything for that person, even give up life for them. And while I can't say I would want that life at this moment, if I did fall so completely in love with you I know I would. I wouldn't want to go through life with someone who would see me get old and eventually die on them. I can't imagine anything worse than watching the person you love more than anything die. So I had to ask if it was a possibility." Her clarification did make me feel somewhat better now that I understood where she was coming from. It was still a hard thing to ask.

"I don't know Anabelle. Even if you loved me, I'm not sure if I could. I wouldn't take away your precious life for anything in the world. It's permanent. That's what you need to understand. There is no going back." She nodded appearing to understand.

"I can't help but wonder at all the what-if's though. I mean I am going to die one day, but what if it was tomorrow? What if I had an illness that made my life a miserable one that I didn't want to live anymore? There's just so many things that throw your reasons out the window. Life is precious, but what if you don't have anything to live for?"

"Even so, don't you believe you have a soul?" She gave me an extraordinary smile.

"Of course I do. I think you have one too. I can tell that you don't think so, but I think you're wrong. I may not be the most religious person, but I think God put everything on this Earth for a reason. I may not understand that reason, but there is one. You are just as much a part of that design as I am." Her argument was one I had heard before, but I would never understand how something so inherently evil could be a part of a greater plan.

"You aren't evil." She told me, as if she could read my mind. "Evil stands to hurt and cause pain with no remorse. You aren't like that. And don't you tell me that you are somehow more evil because of what you are. Humans can be just as dangerous. It's the action that makes the man, not his situation." She paused giving me a severe look that dared me to defy her. Coming from such a small person it made me want to laugh.

"Anyways, the whole point is sort of moot anyways. I'm mean we only just had our first date. We are both jumping the gun a little I think."

And so with that we talked of other things. Music, movies, cars (which I was surprised she knew so much about) and any other thing that came to mind. We were laying back in her bed, Ana was resting against my chest as we talked. I could hear her voice getting more and more slurred with sleepiness. I felt myself grin when she finally fell asleep. Cuddled into my side was the most precious sight. She was so sweet and innocent looking. I wanted to protect her. I remembered her talking about the past with her mom and my protectiveness grew. No one would ever hurt her again.

With all my gentleness I rearranged us on her bed so that she could sleep comfortably and then I turned out the lights. She snuggled into me throwing one arm around my waist as her nose buried in my chest. With that I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

.**So who liked it? Come on give me some love... or hate if that's how you feel (haha)**

**I keep trying to take things slow but my characters want to go faster, I am going to try to build on their relationship and some more secrets about Ana are going to come out ;D**

**Well I just want to say thank you to all my fans and reviewers I love you guys! Really… I mean it. MUCHO LOVE TO ALL OF YOU!**


	13. The Cove

**Chapter 13: The Cove**

**Anabelle's POV**

As the sun shone through my windows, I woke slowly. I was normally an early riser so that was unsurprising, but I felt somehow colder this morning. And then the previous night's event s came rushing back to me. Edward!

I popped open my eyes and sat up quickly only to stare at the empty space in the bed beside me. He wasn't there. I fell back on the bed exhaustedly, it was still too early to be awake when I had stayed up so late the night before. I faintly remembered falling asleep on Edward. I wondered if he slipped out after I fell asleep. I wouldn't blame him, he probably had much more important things to do than watch me sleep.

I wondered what it must be like to be a vampire. To keep living when everyone around you dies. To see the world change and not always for the better. To have instinctual urges to feed on animals and humans. I wondered how Edward dealt with it. To have your life snatched away so violently and become something you hate. Although he seemed to have resigned himself to the life, I still felt he hated it. That if he could go back, he would have rather died that day than be what he is now.

But being a vampire had its perks too I was sure. And while he downplayed them, I could tell they made up for some of the bad stuff. It would definitely be nice to be strong and be able to fight back. Being able to know things and stop bad people; that had to be worth something. And if you found the love of your life, you could spend forever with them. Wasn't that worth giving life up for alone?

My mind flashed to nights when Renee would come home high and start smacking me around. Nights when she used me to steal things from stores and the remorse I felt from my actions. All the insecurities I felt, because of unkind words about my weight and looks. And _that _night, when my whole life changed and the sense of loneliness and shame took over. Shame doesn't scrub off as easily as the dirt and blood did. It doesn't fade like a bruise. It lingers and envelops, casting a hollowness over everything.

Even now, six years later, I still felt the same. With dad always gone, being bullied, and only having a single friend, loneliness had taken up such a strong root in me. Being with Edward took so much of that away. It was amazing feeling loved. Not that I was sure he really loved me. I mean we only just started to get to know each other yesterday. Life isn't a fairy tale where people fall in love at first sight. Right? Logical mature people don't fall in love at the drop of a hat.

But then again I wasn't sure I was such a logical mature person. I felt something for Edward, something that filled in all the holes in my heart that occurred six years ago. Being with him was a balm to all of my worries and fears. If I did come to love him, how willing would I be to give up this life?

Extremely. Yes, I would be very willing. If I was being honest with myself I was already somewhat willing now. What would I really be giving up? I hardly see my dad as it is. I only have a few friends that I would probably lose touch with after college anyways. The only other issue that came to mind was children. Thinking of my own childhood I shuttered.

I shook my head at myself. It was too early to be thinking such things. Unfortunately I was more awake than not, which meant falling back asleep would be nearly impossible. So I rolled out of bed and made my way to the bathroom, when I stepped inside I stopped. There was a note taped to the mirror.

_**Sorry Ana, I had to leave early this morning to take care of a few things. I hope you slept well. I will try to come back by later today if I get done early. With love –Edward.**_

I smiled touching the paper. So he had stayed the night and been thoughtful enough to leave me a note. Unfortunately for him though, I was not the type of girl to wait around all day on a man. I had plans and if I happened to be gone when he got back, well that would just be too bad. With a smile still on my face I got ready for the day.

I was laying on the beach with a book in hand when a shadow fell across me. I looked up surprised, shadowing my face against the bright sun.

"I thought I might find you here." The velvet voice told me.

"Have you been stalking me?" I asked one eyebrow raised and a smile spreading across my face.

"Maybe." I laughed at his candor.

I patted the empty space on the towel next to me, watching as Edward sat down beside me with ease. He was wearing red swimming trunks and a gray t-shirt. No shoes I noted. I looked down at myself. I had a salmon colored bathing suit on, but I hadn't yet taken my clothes off. I was still wearing tan shorts and a red tank over the suit.

"This is a very nice spot." Edward said breaking my train of thought. I looked out over the area and smiled. It really was amazing. It was a secluded little cove with giant juniper trees surrounding making it a nice private getaway.

"I call it Driftwood Beach." So named because of the large driftwood pieces that were scattered haphazardly over the place. It gave it a very clean earthy appeal.

"How did you come across it? I almost never would have guessed it was here." Edward asked me.

"Well I was exploring the nearby beaches one day, and I was getting frustrated with all the people. I'm not really fond of laying half naked in front of thousands of people, so I decided to go exploring instead. I was only thirteen at the time, but dad didn't care if I took the car out to the beach since it wasn't far and he couldn't take me himself. So, anyways, I was just exploring riding around, when I saw what looked like a trail opening back on this old hardly ever used road.

"And I was like what the heck I don't have anything better to do, so I followed it and wound up here. I remember it so clearly. Coming through the trees and just seeing the beach. I think I sat down and cried I thought it was so beautiful. And I've been coming here every Saturday ever since then."

We sat in peaceful silence, enjoying the view for a few minutes.

"So no one else knows about this place?" Edward asked a little skeptically.

"I don't know. I've never seen anyone here, and the first time I ever came that trail was so overgrown that I almost turned back deciding it was a dead end. I left the beginning of it that was to discourage others from coming back here, but I cleared up the rest to make it easier for me." Edward smiled at my cheeky grin.

"But someone did know about it at one time." I added. "The trail wouldn't have been made otherwise." I said and then thought of telling him the rest. Edward gave me a sweet smile. And I sighed knowing I was too excited about him being here that I wouldn't be able to keep from sharing. "In for a penny, in for a pound." I murmured. Edward gave me a curious glance. I stood up and pulled on my sneakers.

"Come on. I have something I want to show you." I told him. He followed me as I walked back to the edge of the trees. But instead of going back down the trail I kept walking past it.

"Where are you taking me?" Edward asked with amusement in his voice. I stopped and turned to him.

"Somewhere really special to me. You've shared some secrets with me and now I have one to share with you." With that I took his hand and we walked to where the trees grew the thickest. Vines and shrubs made a wall across the trees that looked like it would take a lot of chopping and cutting to clear out. There was also a very large piece of drift wood, the size of a fallen tree with wide braches pointing out, that the wall of vines had started to grow over. I climbed up the tree all the way to the tallest branch. I motioned Edward to follow me.

He was up there in a flash. It startled me badly enough to make me rock back. I would have fallen if he hadn't caught me.

"Sorry. I'm not used to you moving so fast just yet." I laughed. He gave me a sheepish grin. "Well I would say follow me but I think you could probably just jump down if you wanted to." I said mentioning the ground on the other side of the vine wall. "I usually use the pegs." There were a set of wooden blocks nailed into the backside of the tree that served as a ladder to climb the steep slope. I climbed down using them while Edward jumped.

When I was finally on the ground on the other side I took a minute to explain.

"On the other side, all the underbrush and vines look impenetrable, but you can still climb up the tree because of all the wide branches. On this side it's more of a straight drop down. I could probably have jumped and it would be fine, but if I was trying to get back to the other side it would be nearly impossible. That's why I think the pegs were made. So you can come and go either way without too much trouble." Edward nodded, but his eyes were dancing with curiosity.

"We aren't too far now." I said excitedly. I walked to a thick patch of underbrush and pushed it aside revealing a trail. Edward's eyes lit up.

"You are full of surprises." He told me.

"Well I still have a few more." And with that we walked the trail, careful of avoiding the gnarled roots of old trees. When we finally got to the end there was another thick wall of underbrush. Edward gave me a sly look.

"Let me guess, this moves aside too? I laughed nodding and pushed it aside. This led to a rock tunnel that had one more wall of vines at its end. When we cleared it and came out into the open area I turned to smile at Edward. He stood there looking amazed.

In front of us was a large old plantation style house. It was a little worn on the outside from what looked like decades of disuse. I stood looking on at Edward with an expectant face.

"Wanna go inside?" I asked after a minute.

"Anabelle do you know whose house this is?" He asked me suddenly serious.

I shook my head. "It's abandoned. I found it a few months after I found the cove. Believe me when I say it didn't used to look this good. The place was a wreck. I've been coming here ever since and never once has anyone, but me been here. A man named Jonas Whitlock owned the place. I found a lot of papers with his name on them including the deed to the house. He bought the place and the property in 1905. I tried to search the public records on who owns it now, but it was never sold or taken over. I think it kinda just got forgotten about over the years; that is until I came along." Edward was looking over at me a little incredulously.

"Well do you want to see inside?" He grinned and I motioned for him to follow me. As we neared the antique porch, Edward stopped to stare at it. There were four large fluted pillars with Corinthian capitals that supported the awning. There were very old but on close inspection one could see they had been sanded and re-painted not too very long ago. The porch floor was the same. Except some of the floor boards had been replaced and the whole deck sanded down and repainted as well.

"Did you do all of this?" Edward asked me wide eyed. I blushed and nodded. "How did a thirteen year old girl manage to pull up floor boards, sand down an entire deck and pillars, and then repaint everything?"

I felt my blush go deeper. "Well I was actually about sixteen when I did it. But I guess you meant more, how did I do it. I'm not gonna lie and say it was easy and that I didn't hurt myself, a lot, but I bought a book about renovating and just followed it, with a few minor adjustments here and there."

"You are amazing."

"You keep complementing me like that and I'm not gonna show you the inside." I warned him. I was pleased that he liked my work, but I hated the feeling of embarrassment that came with praise. Edward laughed and followed me inside, but not before he took in that the front door had also been sanded, repainted, and new hinges and a door knob put in.

As we stepped into the foyer there was a wide grand stair case smack in the middle with beautifully carved wooden banisters that wrapped all the way around to become a railing for the upstairs portion of the house. On either side of the staircase was a short hallway that led to the same room. The kitchen.

"Any idea what you would like to see first?" Edward laughed and shook his dark hair.

"Not really."

"Okay well I'll show you the first floor first and then upstairs." I began walking directly left into the open room. As we passed through the arched doorways I heard Edward's sharp intake of breath. "This is the study/ tea room. Or at least that's what I think it is." I laughed. It certainly looked like a study room where one might come to relax with a cup of tea late in the evening. Large windows adorned two walls showing both the front yard and side. Cushioned window seats were beneath both of them. You could see the porch as it wrapped around the house down the side to the back of the house. In corner between the two windows was an 'L-shaped book case that followed the wall. An exact replica of the book case was in the other corner of the room between the window and another archway. In that corner was a high-backed cushioned chair and a small table. On the other side of the archway was another bookcase, but this one did not wrap around to the connecting wall. Instead a large oak desk with an old chair adorned that wall. A large Persian rug was in the dead center of the room.

I watched Edward as he took the room in. It was one of my favorites. I loved the openness of it.

"This is amazing. It looks almost perfectly restored in here Ana. You re upholstered the window seats didn't you. And the rug looks brand new. It looks like someone still lives here." I laughed at his wonderment.

"Well this was the very first room I redid, and it's probably my favorite. Most of the furniture was already here, it just needed some severe cleaning, along with those floors. I never knew how hard it was to re-varnish a floor. I think I was on hands and knees for hours." Edward gave me beautiful smile. "I should show you the before pictures."

"You took pictures?" I nodded.

"Yeah. Well I wanted a recollection of what it looked like before. It came in handy on days when I was just so frustrated thinking I hadn't even made a dent and then I would look at the pictures and just smile. Because I _had _made an improvement, even if I was moving at a snail's pace."

"I can't wait to see the rest." He told me excitedly. So I showed him. We followed the archway into the great room which had a few couches and tables and a large fireplace, along with another beautiful rug on the hardwood floors. From there we went to the kitchen where he marveled over the antique stove top and sink, along with my job at refurbishing the cabinets. I showed him the other two downstairs rooms, a dining room and drawing room. There wasn't much to it except some furniture and another fireplace. Edward thought it was just as grand as the other rooms though, and raved over my talent at fixing the place up.

When we were finally done downstairs I showed him the upstairs rooms. There were four bedrooms, a bathroom, and a closet with a staircase leading to an attic. Most of the bedrooms were the exact same. Each had a bed with a wooden frame, a small dresser, a window, and a door that led out to a balcony. The master bedroom was the only exception. It had a window on two sides, a very large bed, a long dresser with an ancient looking mirror, and a vanity. There was also a fair sized closet and a connecting private bathroom with a claw foot tub.

"There's running water, because the house has a private well, but unfortunately, no electricity." I pointed out and turned to Edward who was looking at me with a mixture of sadness and admiration. I blushed.

"Do you have any idea how fantastic of a job you've done here?" He asked me. I felt my blush get deeper.

"Thank you. It's been my refuge." I said quietly. Edward looked at me with soulful eyes.

"You still have secrets." He wasn't exactly accusing me, however I felt a little guilty. I wanted to deny it, but I couldn't. There was stuff that hurt to think about. So I nodded.

"This place has helped me. There is nothing more therapeutic than taking away energy from a bad memory and using it to create something beautiful. I love this place with every part of me." I looked at Edward hoping to convey how I felt. "I've actually been saving up to buy it. I'm nowhere near the amount I would probably need, but ever since I found the place I started saving." I could hear the wistfulness in my voice.

"How much do you have saved?" I laughed.

"Not nearly enough." Edward kept looking at me. "Just over 30." I said. He gave me a confused look.

"You mean thirty-thousand?" I nodded me head. He gave a low whistle.

"I know. It's not a lot."

"Actually I was thinking that_ is _a lot of money to have saved and you are only 17." That made me feel a little better.

"Well dad used to give me an allowance when I was younger for doing chores and stuff. And I just saved almost all of it. Then I started working odd jobs, mowing the neighbor's yard, painting fences, babysitting, or whatever any of dad's friends needed. Then I got a job waitressing at the local diner when I was fifteen. I made decent tips and I worked there until three months ago."

"Did you quit?" A dark look crossed my face.

"I was fired." Edward looked surprised. "Mike and some of his friends came in. I always refused to serve them in the past because I was afraid of what would happen, but we were short staffed that night so I had no choice.

"Anyways, they acted fine the entire time and were very polite, paid their bill and left without any problems; needless to say I was surprised. I should have been suspicious. Well about twenty minutes later Mike came back and was complaining about his wallet being missing. I had cleared their table and didn't remember seeing one and I let him know. He accused me of stealing it, which outraged me. Anyways the police were called and I was patted down, and lo and behold they found his wallet in my apron. Mrs. Angler fired me on the spot then the police arrested me for theft, stuffed me in the back of a cop car, and took me to the police station. I was scared half to death. I really thought I was going to jail, but when I got there all the police gave me these looks, like they knew I hadn't done anything wrong.

"They had a deputy come talk to me about the incident and I told him the truth, that I didn't touch Mike's wallet. They could test if for finger prints, give me a lie detector test, whatever they wanted, but I didn't steal it. Then I remembered Mrs. Angler had security cameras installed and I told the officer to check it out and he would see I was innocent. Well they did, and clear as day they saw Mike slip his wallet in my apron as he came back to the table while I was putting their food out.

"Mike and his father were at the police station by then, and as I was being released the mayor went ballistic about how I should be behind bars. Mike looked so smug. I turned to the mayor and said sweet as I possibly could, 'Well that would be a little odd considering your son was caught on camera putting his wallet in my apron.' Mike didn't look so smug after that. The mayor just stood there sputtering. It might have been gratifying, but I already knew Mike was going to be let off without any punishment for it. The mayor likes to tug on budget strings to get his way.

"Mrs. Angler called me back that same day saying she wanted me back, but I refused on the grounds that I didn't feel comfortable working for someone who would believe a stranger over one of her best employees that's she's known for three years."

As I finished my story I looked at Edward. His face was contorted with rage. No that was putting it mildly. He looked like he wanted to rip Mike's throat out. I reached out a hand to grab his. He shrank back, stormed out of the room. At first I was hurt, then I realized he was trying to control himself, so I waited patiently for him to return. It was only about five minutes later when he walked back through the bathroom doors, his face barely concealing his anger.

"I'm sorry Ana I…" I held up my hand for him to stop.

"I understand. Believe me I really do. I didn't mean to get you all worked up. I forget that there are people on my side sometimes. I shouldn't have gone into detail." Edward shook his head at me.

"I'm glad you did. I want to know Ana. What else has he done to you?" His eyes pleaded with mine to tell him.

"I think that is a really bad idea. If you got worked up over that story I don't think you're ready to hear anything else. And I'm not so sure I'm ready to talk about it. Can't we just spend today together talking about fun stuff? I don't want to dwell on the bad."

Edward opened his mouth to say something then he closed and gave me a smile.

"You're right. We should get to know each other better first. But Ana will you promise me something?" I gave him a wary look.

"I'm not sure I can promise anything without knowing what it is ahead of time."

He gave me a sad smile, but nodded his head. "Fair enough. When you get more comfortable with me, will you tell me more about your past? I feel like there are some things you are hiding and not all of it has to do with Mike."

I felt a little stunned that he could read me so well. I took a deep shaky breath. "I don't know Edward. There are things that I can barely admit to myself. I don't know if I will ever be ready to talk about it." He nodded understanding.

"I have heard that talking about bad experiences helps people get over them. I would have been the first person to disagree until I talked to you about the night I changed. It is an amazing feeling. Like a weight just lifts off of your shoulders. I just want you to know that, and you may want to consider it, even if you don't tell me."

I nodded my head feeling the sting of tears. I took another deep breath trying to steady myself and then I laughed giving Edward a watery smile.

"So what do you want to do now?"

**So what did you guys think? **

**I was really excited for this chapter because it goes deeper into the relationship and of course who doesn't love old abandoned houses?... okay maybe that one's just me *sigh* oh well.**

**I sincerely hope ya'll liked it though! And I want to hear your thoughts on it!**

**PS: I want to give a big thank you to all of my dedicated readers and reviews, Ya'll are amazing, wonderful, beautiful, fantastical people. Yes… all of that and more. So here is my big thank you…THANK YOU!**


	14. Deja vu

**Chapter 14: Deja vu**

**Ana's POV**

It was Monday again, I thought as I dressed for school. I wanted to be mad the weekend was over considering it had been such an amazing one, but I wasn't. As much as I enjoyed spending time with Edward it would be nice to have a few hours apart. He had barely left my side this weekend, and I was really missing my privacy. I mean a girl really needs to poop sometimes.

I'm sure Edward wouldn't care, but considering he could hear so well and so far away it would be mortifying to use the bathroom for _that _around him. I cringed thinking about it.

_Oh God, and what about periods_? That horrible thought came to me. I was due for my monthly torture pretty soon. I wouldn't be able to avoid it. Would my bleeding be an issue? Would that make him want me?

I crinkled my nose at the thought of him being thirsty for my menstrual blood. _Gag. Okay Swan get your mind out of the gutter_!

I shook off the disturbing mental image and stepped outside. The cool morning air of November made me smile. It was a tad windy, my hair whipped around me a little. The runaway strands didn't bother me though.

I walked easily out in the yard past my truck. I thought for a moment about taking it now that I knew Mike would not mess with it, but the morning air felt so good. I just wanted to walk and enjoy it all.

I was almost to the end of my drive when a certain silver Volvo pulled in. Edward rolled down the driver side window to speak with me.

"Can I offer you a ride to school today?" He was smiling and confident.

"You can offer, but I'm afraid I can't accept." I smiled after my reply. Edward frowned looking at me curiously.

"Why not?"

"It's much too pretty of a day to not walk. I'll see you at school okay?" He frowned more deeply, but I didn't wait for a reply and started walking again. I didn't pay attention to the road or the cars that passed, but just enjoyed the fresh fall air. I couldn't have been walking but for just a few minutes when Edward appeared at my side.

"Oh!" I exclaimed a little startled. He gave me lopsided grin.

"And here I thought it was impossible to scare you." He chuckled.

"I wasn't expecting you. I thought you went ahead to school already." He gave me a confused face.

"Do you want me to go?" He looked so uncertain. I didn't mean to make him feel bad.

"No. I just didn't expect you to walk with me. I know how you like to drive fast." I teased him. He grinned again sheepishly.

"I would rather walk with you, even if it is at an achingly slow pace." He teased me back. I pretended to be offended.

"Och! Well I never!" I threw my nose in the air and stomped off in front of him with a 'hmph.'

Edward let out the most joyful laugh. It stopped me in my tracks it was so beautiful. I turned to look at him.

His eyes were twinkling with humor, his mouth turned up in the silliest grin.

"Ana I swear you make me laugh more than I thought was possible." It warmed me to hear him say that. I felt like blushing so I turned away and started walking again. I knew he would catch up in about point two seconds.

He did. I glanced at him sideways. He was grinning like a fool. It made me smile.

"How do you make me smile so much?" He asked me with just a hint of wonder in his voice.

"Because I'm awesome." I said simply. He chuckled at me.

"Where did my shy Ana go? Who is this confident creature?" And the blushing came. My cheeks felt red, and I knew it was not from the wind.

I shrugged, but his words triggered a song in my head. I started nodding my head to my internal tune. Unfortunately for me, singing in my head almost always results in singing out loud. Well humming, not singing, but still. Before I knew that was exactly what was happening.

Edward's chuckle brought me up short on the next verse. Damn my inability to not hum.

"Sound of Music. I could have guessed you liked that movie." He stated.

"It's a classic." I conceded.

"Not the song I would have pictured you humming though." I shrugged.

"You talking about confidence brought it to my head. But I guess you're right, it's not my favorite. Can you guess which one is?"

Edward pondered for a moment before speaking. "If I guess right will you do something for me?"

I gave him a suspicious look. "That depends on what you want." He just grinned.

"No, you have agree before I guess."

"But there's no telling what you want. It may not be worth it." I countered. He laughed.

"I promise it won't be anything bad." I sighed, then grinned.

"Fine, but if you guess wrong you have to do something for me." He didn't like that I could tell from his face, but he surprised me by saying fine.

"Alright. Guess away."

"How many guess do I get?" He asked and I laughed holding up one finger. He scrunched his nose.

"I'm thinking you may not get this right. Are you sure you know me well enough yet?" I bated him. He smirked at me then gave his answer with total confidence.

"Edelweiss."

My jaw dropped. Literally. I think it was on the ground somewhere.

"How did you know that? I mean seriously? How could you know that?" I was floored. He grinned at me.

"Now you have to do what I want." I eyed him suspiciously. Maybe he could read my mind. What if he was just pretending not to be able to before?

_I'm secretly in love with Mr. Potato head._

Edward laughed. My eyes went wide. _Oh shit!_

"Ana I can't read your mind, but I can tell you're thinking outrageous things. Your eyes express too much."

"Maybe. But I don't think you knew Edelweiss just by chance." He looked a little guilty.

"I guess that's true. You hum it all the time in Biology." My eyes widened in surprise. Then narrowed.

"That's cheating. You set me up!" I accused.

"I did not cheat. I could have been wrong. You hum a lot of different things." I pursed my mouth in distaste letting him know what I thought of his explanation.

"Fine what do you want?" I grumbled.

"Will you sing it for me?" My eyes widened in surprise. We both stopped walking. He looked deeply in my eyes. "It happens to be one of my favorites as well. You never sing, just hum. I'd like to hear you sing it." His eyes begged me.

"But I don't really sing." I told him. Which was true. I liked to hum a lot. But I hadn't sang since… _him_. And I didn't think I could. It was a special thing for me. Was I ready?

"You have a beautiful voice Ana. Please. Sing it for me?" He looked so sweet and I just couldn't refuse even though my stomach was churning from nervousness. If it was anyone else I would have told them to take a flying leap. But it was Edward. Only he could make me cave on this.

I sighed, closed my eyes and began to hum the tune to get me ready, then I sang.

"Edelweiss, Edelweiss  
Every morning you greet me  
Small and white, clean and bright  
You look happy to meet me  
Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow  
Bloom and grow forever  
Edelweiss, Edelweiss  
Bless my homeland forever"

I felt my voice shake at first unused to voicing the lyrics out loud, but as the song continued my voice was unwavering. It really was one of my favorites. When I opened my eyes Edward's were looking at me so tenderly. He brushed away a tear on my cheek that I didn't even know was there.

"Thank you Ana." He took my hand and we continued walking to school. "I've been wanting to hear you sing that for a long time. Since the first time you hummed it in Biology. It would always drive me crazy that you just hummed. You have such a beautiful voice. You should sing more often."

I didn't know what to say. If he only knew why I never sang. I couldn't speak about it so I said nothing. I think it must have unnerved him though.

"I'm sorry Ana. I hope you aren't mad at me for asking you to sing." He was sincerely sorry. I could tell by his eyes. I didn't trust my voice at the moment so I shrugged, pretending to be okay with everything.

"Ana?" He stopped walking and turned to me taking my face in his hands so I had to look him in the eye. "Talk to me?"

I felt my mouth open, but the words wouldn't come. I cleared my throat. "I-I don't like to sing." Edward continued to look at me so searchingly I felt I had to explain more. "It was a special thing for me before… uh, before I moved here. It brings back bad memories." Which was technically only half way true, because the singing part wasn't a bad memory, it was why I was singing. Did that even make sense?

Edward sighed and released my face. Then continued walking. I felt like I disappointed him. Which I probably had. Internal sigh.

When we finally reached the school it was almost time for class, so we walked straight in. Edward didn't speak to me. I passed the next hour in a daze. Singing had opened an internal flood gate that I wasn't prepared to deal with.

Images, both bad and good flashed in my brain, searing it. The good should have outweighed the bad, but it only made the bad seem that much worse. When the bell finally rang I was a mess of nerves. I think I jumped. I looked over to Edward's seat wondering if he noticed, but he wasn't there.

I felt disappointed, in myself.

I made my way to my next class feeling dreary. The rest of the morning went pretty much the same. When the bell rang for lunch I was beyond stressed. My stomach was in knots. Instead of going to the cafeteria, I went to the ladies room and splashed water on my face. Looking in the mirror I could see the pain in my own eyes. I didn't want to be this person.

So I damned the floodgate, brick by brick I felt my composure return. By that time I had to go to Biology. Walking in the door I saw Edward was already at our table. He was looking out the window, but I knew he felt my presence.

"Hey," I responded cheerily as I sat down beside him. If he glanced at me I didn't notice. Fine he if he wanted to play that game, so be it. He sat beside me in stony silence and when the bell rang to leave I turned to him.

He turned away and walked out of the room.

"Fine, let him walk away. It's not like you're not used to it." I mumbled sadly to myself then headed to my last class.

After school was over I walked outside and groaned. It was raining. I really needed to start checking the weather before deciding to walk. I probably sat there debating walking or calling Edward for a solid ten minutes when someone appeared at my side.

"Need a ride?"

I almost laughed.

"Yeah Tyler. That'd be great."

He smirked at me and we walked to his truck. I swear it was like déjà vu. Only this time I knew he would take me straight home.

"You really need to start driving." He told me with a grin. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Whatever for when I have you to chauffer me around?" Tyler barked a laugh.

"So, I missed you at lunch today."

"Ahh, yeah. I needed a breather." I laughed. Tyler smiled back at me.

"Well it's too bad you missed lunch. I had something important to tell you." My eyes widened.

"What?" Tyler shook his head at me. "Ahh, come on Tye! You can't just say that then leave me hanging."

He laughed and shook his head at me.

"Don't make me tickle it out of you." I warned. He raised one brow at me, as if to call my bluff. I reached out a hand slowly. He smacked it away. The rest of the drive to my house ensued of me trying to tickle the information out of him. He was swerving all over the place tears in his eyes as we pulled up to the drive. I was laughing really hard too.

"Stop! Stop! I can't… take it. Ana! God! Stop!" Tyler laughed uncontrollably underneath my tickling hands.

"Not until you tell me!" I said tickling harder. I thought he might laugh up a lung. He made a ton of crazy gurgling and screaming sounds. Finally he started to tickle me back. I screamed.

"No! Tyler… don't! Gah! Ahahahahahha. Noooo! Stawp!" He didn't stop for a good minute. "Uncle!" I cried. "I'm sorry! I won't tickle you again! Please stop." I was crying I was laughing so hard.

He stopped, but we were both in hysterics from laughing so hard. It took a good few minutes to calm down.

"Thanks for the ride Tye." I said on the last remnants of giggles. He grinned back at me.

"Anytime Ana. Hey that was alliteration!" and a fresh bout of giggles erupted from us. I finally managed to leave his truck still smiling like a fool even though I was getting soaked in the rain. I was still so much in a happy daze that I didn't see the person on the porch until I was practically on top of him.

I stepped back quickly and gasped.

"Hi Ana."

"Edward."

**Bumm Bumm Bumm! I hoped you enjoyed a nice giggle fit with Ana and Tyler. I wonder what the big news is?**

**Sorry to leave you with a cliffy.. hehe.. not really.. So I guess Ana and Edward are going to have a nice.. chat. ;D**

**I will try to update soon, no promises, but maybe, tomorrow… or tonight.. depends on if I continue on with my writing frenzy… **

**Reviews are the light of my life!**


	15. Understanding

**Chapter 15: Understanding**

**Ana's POV**

"Hi Ana"

"Edward," I said, surprised all traces of my giggles gone now.

I couldn't read his face. It was nearly impenetrable, but his eyes were showing more emotion than he probably knew. I could see sadness there, hurt, anger, and despair.

We stood there staring at each other in silence for a good while before I spoke.

"What do you want Edward?" I asked letting my tiredness and weariness seep out.

"I just want to apologize. About today, for everything." He told me sadly. I was surprised. I had been prepared for a fight of sorts to happen.

But now I wasn't sure what to say to him.

"Oh." _Well that was intelligent_. I thought sarcastically. "Thanks." _Way to go Swan. You are a great communicator_. Edward sighed.

"Are you mad at me?"

I sighed. "No, I just don't know what to say. I'm just really tired with all the up and down with you. I get that this morning was my fault, but ignoring me all day was kind of blowing it out of proportion, don't you think?" He looked confused.

"I thought you wanted space. You ignored _me_ all through English and I was just trying to not push you."

"I wasn't ignoring you. I was… caught up… in my own thoughts. I wasn't trying to be rude." I tried to explain. "But that still doesn't explain why you wouldn't talk to me in Bio or why you left. I was going to have to walk home in the rain if Tyler hadn't offered me a ride." I let the hurt I was feeling come forth. Edward looked away. His face ragged with emotions I didn't understand.

"When you didn't come to lunch I thought you were avoiding me. And then you were so cheerful in Biology it made me angry. It made me wonder who put the smile on your face. And I was just so… jealous." I was stunned now. _He was jealous?_

"When class ended I was not in a good place. I had to get away, I was afraid I might do something I would regret. I didn't even go to my last class. I lost track of time, and when I realized school had been over for ten minutes, I rushed to find you. Then I saw you standing there and I wondered why you didn't call me. And suddenly Tyler was taking you home."

He didn't say anything after that, and so I let his words sink in. What was I supposed to say to that?

"No one made me happy after lunch. I was just tired of feeling dramatically sad so I changed it. I didn't call you because I figured if you wanted to take me home, you wouldn't have left in the first place." I explained. Feeling like the whole situation was just dumb.

Edward nodded understanding, but his eyes were so sad.

"So Tyler huh?" I must have looked confused because he elaborated. "You both seemed like you were having a good time." There was the tiniest edge to his voice.

"Yeah, we were." I still didn't understand the tone in his voice or what he was trying to get at.

"Are you going to date him now?" he wouldn't look at me when he said it.

"What?" My voice probably sounded like I thought he was out of his mind. Which I did. "Why would you think that? All he did was drive me home. Jeeze-us Edward, are you going to act like this every time I smile at someone?" I sat down on the front porch step on an aggravated smile. Edward followed my lead.

"I'm acting like a jealous idiot aren't I?" He asked quietly after a few minutes. I gave him a half smile.

"Pretty much." He gave a small smile in return.

"I'm sorry. I just felt like I really messed things up today and I wanted to apologize, but then I saw you and Tyler having a good time. It made me want to choke him." He told me honestly, a tint of shame coming into his voice. "And I wondered what it meant to you. I swear not being able to see in your mind is killing me."

"All you have to do is ask Edward." I said losing the humor in my voice. I could see the sadness in his eyes and how he disagreed with me.

"But you hold back so much. I can see it in your eyes, when you are talking to me, it's like you are weaving your words around particular things. Not that you are lying, but you are not telling the whole story. It drives me crazy."

I wanted to object, but he was right. With certain topics I did weave, because it meant bringing up my painful checkered past.

"Edward, will you answer something honestly for me?" He gave me a curious look, but nodded his head.

"Would you have told me about yourself, if Friday's accident never happened?"

He sighed deeply.

"Probably not." He seemed to understand my train of thought on this.

"I want to be fair, I want to share as much as you, but there are just things I'm really not ready for. And I can see its frustrating for you, because you've told me so much. Then the other side of me feels like it's not my fault that I found out about you and that if the roles were reversed you wouldn't be sharing either."

Edward appeared to be contemplating my words. He looked deeply into my eyes and nodded his head. As if to say, 'Alright, I understand. Talk when you are ready.' I took his hand in mine and held it. I looked down at the cold pale fingers, and traced them with my own.

"Will you at least tell me one thing?" Edward's voice whispered beside me. He wasn't looking at me, but out across the yard.

"Yes." I said without hesitation. I could trust him, and he deserved my honesty. My answer must have surprised him, because he turned to look at me straight on.

"Do you want to be with someone else?" I felt my own brows draw together in bewilderment. Where the heck did he come up with this stuff?

"Edward," I said, taking his face in my hands, "I will _not_ say that I love you. That is crazy too soon for me and I don't think it would be sincere if I said it now just to make you feel better. That being said, I am _crazy_ about you. I love being around you, and we have such a great time together. So to answer your question, No, I do not want to be with anyone, but you." His eyes still held the tiniest bit of doubt.

So I kissed him.

I gently pressed my lips to his, and gave him tiny closed mouthed kisses on his lips. It was more of a teasing gesture than a kiss really, but it nearly drove me crazy. How did someone so hard, feel so soft at the same time? I opened my mouth just a little, bracing his bottom lip in between mine and pulled just a fraction. He moaned. I shivered at the sound.

I used my tongue to caress his bottom lip, teasing his mouth open wider so I could taste him. Finally he opened to me. His tongue met mine and I groaned this time. I tangled my fingers in his hair thoughtless to his control or mine.

Edward reciprocated. I gasped as his firm hands threaded my hair and braced my head. He pulled me into his lap. A gesture that sent shockwaves through my body, yet another moan escaped my lips as I rocked gently into him.

Edward made a low growl and our kiss intensified. I was feverishly kissing him, our tongues dancing together in an intimate array that astounded me. I had never felt like this before. Ever. I felt hot and only Edward's cool kisses were the cure. God I wanted more. I cried out in pleasure as he sucked my tongue and pulled me even tighter against him. If it were possible I probably would have pulled out all his hair by now.

"God Ana. We have to stop," He said against my mouth, still kissing me.

"No… want more," I said back. He growled again. I felt myself getting damp in places I hadn't dared to think about. I shivered under him.

"Ana," he moaned. Then broke away from me, just barely though. I felt dazed, hot, and needy. _So this is why teen pregnancy is so high,_ I thought. Our foreheads rested together as I regained control of my breathing. I felt my fingers finally relax from his hair and they ghosted down to sit in my lap.

When I was back to normal, well mostly, a girl can't be that hot and bothered without some lingering side effects, I tried to remove myself from his lap. Edward surprised me by holding me in place. When I looked up his eyes were smoldering. So much sexual heat exuded from them that a small noise escaped the back of my throat just from looking at him. His eyes got even darker, irises huge. I wondered for a brief moment if that was how I looked to him. Probably not.

"Edward?" I whispered. His eyes watched my lips hungrily. "Please?" at this point I wasn't even sure what I was asking for, but he seemed to know. His lips crashed down on me again in a fury of hot kisses. I gave as good as I got. Kissing him with all the pent up heat that had built inside me. I needed this. I needed him, his kisses, his sweet hard body. I needed it all.

Before I knew it we were inside on the living room couch. Edward was hovering above me, but pressing down at the same time. The contact was exquisite. I pushed my hips up to his. He growled loudly and pushed back, his kiss deepening. A tension built that I didn't understand, all I knew was that when he pressed into me, my body cried for more.

Our ravenous kisses continued for a while, all the pent up passion coming out. We slowly wound down and eventually broke away sitting beside each other on the sofa. My pulse was jumping erratically.

"So this is what makeup sex must be like." I pondered aloud after a moment. Edward barked a laugh at me. "Well minus the sex obviously." I blushed. Sometimes I had no filter around him.

"You are too much for me." He teased.

"Don't be such a prude." I teased back. He gave me an offended look.

"If anything about what we did was prudish to you, I can't imagine what you consider risqué." It was my turn to laugh. I wiggled my eyebrow up and down theatrically.

"Oh don't you want to find out?" I whispered huskily and nipped at his neck. He growled again. "God it drives me crazy when you do that."

"What does?" His eyes were bright with arousal.

"That growl thing you do. It's so primal and mmmm." I said shivering as he did another low rumble in my ear. "It makes me want to pounce on you. Or bite you really hard." He groaned for real that time closing his eyes. "Would it hurt you if I did?"

His eyes shot open. "If you did what? Bite me?" I nodded. He gulped. Like literally gulped. Oh boy. "No. I'd be worried you would hurt yourself though."

"Hmmm," I contemplated. He eyed me suspiciously. "I really want to bite you Edward. Right here. Hard." I told him brushing my lips on the pulse point of his neck.

"Ana," he warned. But I ignored him. I opened my mouth and gently set my teeth against his skin, just barely touching him. Then I bit in. Not so hard I would hurt myself, but with more pressure than I'd use on anyone else. Edward roared and clutched me to him.

"Ana stop." He gasped. I relaxed my teeth as if I was going to pull away. I felt some of the tension leave his body as I started to pull back. Then I bit him again, just a little lower than before. Even harder this time. "Ana!" He yelled. This time I did completely release his flesh from my teeth and pulled back to look at him. I felt the mischief dancing in my eyes. Edward looked positively wild. It thrilled me.

"You are so going to get it missy." He whispered huskily to me, before coming to tower over me. With an unrelenting grasp he raised me so that my neck was precariously close to his teeth. His pearly whites opened up and chomped down on my neck hard. I gasped in pleasure.

"Oh God!" He relaxed and tightened his bite in succession driving me wild with want. I was pulling on his hair so hard I was surprised I didn't manage to pull any out. "Eddwarrdd!" I screamed. He finally released me, easing me back down on the couch.

"Dear Lord woman. You will be the death of me." He whispered seductively in my ear. I shivered in delight.

"Good thing you're already dead." I whispered back sweetly. He chuckled.

"You drive me crazy you know that?"

"Only because you drive me crazy first." I said grinning. He laughed again. Then his face went serious.

"I didn't hurt you did I?" He was looking at the bite mark on my neck. I knew there would be one, but it didn't hurt.

"No, believe me when I say I really, really enjoyed that." He smiled again.

"Tempting a vampire into biting you. What am I going to do with you?" He seemed truly worried. I just laughed.

"Hmm, bite me again?" I wiggled my eyebrows at him. He shook his head, but a smile was on his face so I didn't care. As long as he was happy. "I guess you could feed me, since biting is out of the question." He chuckled and kissed my nose.

"Edward?" He looked at me curiously. "Was what I did okay? I know we were playing, but I really don't want to make things harder than they have to be for you." His eyes softened looking at me.

"It was more than okay. Probably not wise, but I enjoyed it none the less."

"Okay. So time for food?" I asked. He laughed and we made our way to the kitchen to cook up something to eat. It was a wonderful night.

After our meal was over, he walked me to my bedroom.

"I have to go now, but I had a wonderful evening with you," Edward told me.

"Me too."

He gave me a soft kiss and then left.

I sighed and flopped back on my bed grinning.

It was a good day.

**Welll.. things got a little steamy ;D hope you liked that *ovary explosions commence***

**I'm glad they made up. I can't wait to write more for this! I hope you are as excited as I am. **

**Reviews make me really really happy… **


	16. Shots Have Been Fired

**Chapter 16: Shots Have Been Fired**

**Ana's POV**

The next day of school couldn't come quickly enough for me. When I stepped outside my house I was very unsurprised to find Edward's Volvo parked in the yard. He was leaned against the hood, arms crossed like something out of a GQ magazine. I felt a smirk coming on.

"Will you ride with me today?" He asked eyeing me with a heat that made me quiver. Oh Lord. Swoon.

"Maybe. What's in it for me?" I countered playfully, walking up to him. He tapped his thigh with a long pale finger, eyes watching me in contemplation. He smoothly pushed away from the car coming to stand in front of me. Then he did the unthinkable.

He put his car keys in my hands.

I think my mouth fell open. A common occurrence for me around him.

"You trust me?" I asked in wonderment. He merely smiled and opened the driver's door for me to get in. Even though I didn't care all that much to drive his car, it was just such a huge step in trust. Sure sharing his secret with me was huge, but it was also sort of an accident. And he cares a lot about his car, so I really wasn't about to turn down the opportunity. I adjusted the seat and cranked up the car.

"May I?" I asked gesturing towards the radio. He nodded okay. I reached into my pocket for my I-pod and put it on the playlist and songs I was currently obsessed with. I let the music start turning it up loud letting the notes fill me. It was a slow song but I didn't care. I closed my eyes and nodded my head to the song.

When I felt good with the song I started to drive. I hummed the song all the way to school. Really getting in to some parts and making motions with my hands in tune with the song. The song was just ending as I pulled in to Edward's normal parking spot.

When I glanced over at Edward he was giving me a sad sweet smile. "Such Great Heights." He said naming the song. I smiled.

"I have been obsessed with this song for a little while." I told him shyly. "I know it's The Postal Service's song but Iron and Wine did such a fantastic rendition, I like theirs more."

He nodded his head at me agreeingly.

"I just love it. It's pretty." I reached to turn off the playlist, but Edward stopped me.

"Leave it. We have almost forty minutes before school begins. I'd like to hear what else you listen to."

"Oh okay. I have a lot of different things on here so don't judge." I told him laughing. I wasn't sure what would come on next as it was on shuffle. I chucked when I realized what was playing.

I got really into the song and started acting out some of the lines.  
**  
"A certain girl she took my hand and ran it up her thigh.  
She licked her lips and pulled my hair, I fall in love for a night"**

When that line was being sung out I grabbed Edward's hand ran it up my thigh, licked my own lips, then pulled his hair and sighed. He looked stunned, but I didn't care. I continued to do this the rest of the song.

"That was Situations by Escape the Fate." I told him.

"That was wildly different from the last one." He laughed at me. "Very wild." I just laughed.

The next song was actually pretty ironic. Another rock alternative song.

"**At night I feel like a vampire  
It's not right  
I just can't give it up"**

"So you feel like a Vampire?" Edward asked brow raised when the song ended.

"I have been in love with this song since before I knew you. Break from Three Days Grace is my jam." I told him.

"I really am surprised I have not heard any of these songs before. I wonder if I will know the next one."

We waited for it to come on. When it did I nearly squealed.

"I freaking LOVE this song! I forgot it was on here." I said excitedly and started lip singing along.

"**I like where we are,  
When we drive, in your car  
I like where we are... Here**

I gave Edward a wink and scooted closer to him getting ready for the next part.

**"Cause our lips, can touch  
And our cheeks, can brush  
Our lips can touch here"**

I hovered my lips achingly near his as I mouthed the words to the song. His eyes grew dark as I brushed my lips against his after each line.

"**Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me  
Whispers "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly"  
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly  
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms**

After that set of lines I kissed him gently and didn't stop until the song was over. As the last chords rang out I pulled back. His eyes were filled with emotions. A lot of which I saw was love.

I cleared my throat feeling suddenly shy.

"That was a nice song." Edward told me softly and I just smiled. We listened to a good deal of the playlist until it was time to go inside. We walked in together hand in hand. Many people looked at us in shock or curiosity, but I really only had eyes for Edward. He made me not care about the stares so much.

It was hard to pay attention in English with him sitting so close next to me. I kept thinking about last night, and earlier that morning. About kissing him again.

I sighed, caught in my own daydream. When Edward looked up at me, I thought he might smirk, but when I saw his dark sensual eyes staring back at me, I felt my pulse jump.

It was going to be a long day.

I was nearly bursting with excitement when lunch rolled around. However, when I entered the cafeteria Edward was nowhere to be found. The rest of his family was sitting in their same spot as usual. I didn't look too long, I still wasn't sure how they felt about me yet and I didn't want to go over my bounds. I tried to not be disappointed that Edward wasn't there, but of course I was. Instead of over thinking it too much I went to sit by Tyler and the rest of the group. Today it was Embry, Seth, Jessica, Sarah, Mack, and Erik. Jessica and Erik were currently dating, as were Sarah and Mack.

"Hey Ana! We missed you yesterday," was Embry's cheerful replay as I sat down by Tyler.

I laughed. "I missed you too E-man." I said playfully. He loved it when I called him E- man. He said it made him feel like a superhero. "So did I miss anything?"

I gave Tyler a pointed look, thinking back to his mysterious words yesterday. Embry and Seth laughed.

"Tye-tye finally grew a pair!" Seth giggled. Tyler threw a corn nugget at him. Seth caught it and popped it in his mouth.

"You asked Angie out?!" I said excitedly. Tyler was blushing. "That is so great. I'm mean I'm guessing she said yes. Right?" He nodded in affirmation. The other guys were grinning, loving how uncomfortable Tyler was.

"When are you taking her out?" I pressed for more information.

"Uhh, Friday." He told me. I rolled my eyes.

"Details Tye! Where are you taking her?"

"I thought maybe to that new tea bar?" He looked so unsure.

"A _tea_ bar? That is so lame. Take her to a real bar!" Erik said. Jessica punched him in the arm.

"Don't be a douche. Angela is not a party girl and she would be uncomfortable in a real bar." Jessica pointed out. She was right and I was happy she was sticking up for Tyler.

"I think it's a great idea. She really loves peppermint teas and berry flavors. But she hates, and I really mean hates mango, so steer clear."

"Why does she hate mango? It's amazing." Seth asked in total confusion.

"Zach challenged her to a mango eating contest when were, oh God, probably twelve. Only he cheated and put some sort of spicy chili powder on one of her slices and she got sick from it. To this day she won't go near chili or mango." I laughed thinking about it. Angie's older brother, Zach, was always playing pranks on us, nothing ever mean just silly stuff. But if someone ever even looked at his sister wrong he would be an avenging minion.

"Oh yeah. I remember that!" Mack said excitedly. He and Zach happened to be good friends. "Wasn't I over there that day? You and Angie were building a fort or something in the yard."

"That's right! I forgot about that part. And you and Zach cannonballed into it. Angela was so pissed you broke her little table thing." I was chuckling as I remembered the scene. Mack landed right on the table and it broke under him. Mack grimaced as if thinking of something unpleasant.

"Yeah that crap hurt too. I has bruises down my back for the next two weeks." Sarah laughed at Mack and patted his back playfully. He stuck his tongue out at her in response. They were a cute couple.

"It was your own fault," I pointed out. He rolled his eyes. I just laughed and looked over at Tyler. "So the tea bar first then what?" He was blushing uncomfortably again.

"It's downtown near the waterfront, I thought we might go for a walk or something." Collectively all the guys at the table looked at each other and said 'Awww' placing a hand over their heart. Tyler was bright red and giving them all the evil eye.

"Ha ha. Very funny. Enough of me. So what was Edward doing at your house yesterday?" Tyler asked turning the tables. Suddenly everyone was looking at me, I felt myself start to blush.

"Oh, um, well we sort of… had a date." I somehow managed to say. Everyone grinned and gave each other knowing looks.

"I told you!" Seth announced to Erik. Erik rolled his eyes. There was a lot of eye rolling that happened at this table. "You owe me ten dollars."

"What?" I said stupidly watching the exchange. Seth and Erik grinned.

"Come on! The way Cullen has been looking at you, we all saw it coming." Seth announced. I felt like blushing even more. _How_ _did Edward look at me?_

I must have looked amazed because Sarah spoke up. "Seriously Ana? He stares at you like you're a medium rare steak." Well that made my pulse jump. I laughed half-heartedly, feeling very out of place.

"Why didn't you tell me this yesterday?" Tyler asked almost accusingly, but he said it smiling. I shrugged still a little confused by the whole situation.

"I might have if I wasn't so busy trying to tickle information out of you!" I reminded him. He grinned.

"So how was your date?" Tyler was now pressing me for information. I laughed.

"It was fine."

"Details Ana!" He said mimicking me from earlier. I sighed.

"We just had dinner at my place, watched a movie, and he went home. That's it." Tyler gave me a look that clearly said 'I don't believe you.' Everyone else had the same look on their faces.

"Uh huh. What else?" He nudged me teasingly. I knew I had to be blushing very hard by now.

"And we... kind of spent the weekend together." That last bit I said very lowly fidgeting with my napkin. Laughter erupted around the table.

"Cullen is a lucky man," Embry said winking at me. It took me a moment longer to understand what he meant by the comment. I gasped.

"No! We didn't! I didn't… I mean we… " I sputtered shaking my head. Everyone laughed again.

"Calm down Ana, Embry is just messing with you," Jessica told me laughing. Embry snorted.

"Speak for yourself. I meant what I said." I could tell he was teasing.

"You're terrible." I said laughing.

"That's what all virgins say" He said cockily.

"Yeah, to you," I replied and everyone snickered; Embry gave me the evil eye. "And who said I was a virgin?" I asked with sassily with one brow raised. Unfortunately everyone at the table was giving each other knowing looks. I wondered if something about me screamed innocence.

"Come on Ana. You came here when you were like eleven, and you haven't even dated anyone since then." Sarah said laughing at me.

"So?" I asked confidently. "I could be a temptress. Rwar," I said pretending to claw at Tyler wiggling my eyebrows seductively. Laughter ensued.

"A kitten pretending to be a tiger." Seth said with a smirk.

"Huh, that's funny, and here I thought guys liked a frisky pussy." I said with a shoulder shrug. Tyler spewed his coke everywhere, and the others were laughing like crazy.

"Frisky... and…you …pussy! Bahahaha," was Embry's unintelligible reply.

"I'm dying! I can't believe you said that!" Came from Jessica, who was holding her sides she was laughing so hard.

I shrugged my shoulders again, but I was smiling.

"Hmm. Maybe I could do stand up. Apparently all I'd have to do it go and stage and say 'pussy'. Then mic drop." More laughter erupted. "Ya'll are silly. Like you've never heard that word before." I said shaking my head in mock seriousness.

"Not from you." Tyler said still laughing.

"I'm full of surprises." I said with a wink.

"Yes you are." I blushed immediately hearing those words come from someone behind me. I inwardly groaned turning to look at Edward who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Uh, hey," I said stupidly. Tyler was snickering beside me so I shoved him playfully.

"May I sit here?" He pointed beside me where there was an open space.

"Be careful Cullen; that frisky pussy might bite." Seth was practically giggling as he said this. I felt my face turn even redder.

"It's a risk I'm willing to take," he told them.

"I'll bet," Erik snickered. _Dear lord what had I started?_ I was only a little afraid Edward would be mad, but his eyes were filled with mirth.

So he sat down beside me and cat jokes commenced for at least another ten minutes.

"Okay, okay, I can't take anymore!" I finally burst out, laughing.

"That's what she said!" Embry giggled out. I rolled my eyes.

"You wish." I countered. Embry glowered while Seth snickered.

"So how was your weekend Edward?" Embry asked pointedly, trying to make me uncomfortable I was sure.

"Pretty good. Yours?" Was Edward's unfazed reply.

"Oh I had a good time. What all did you_ do_?" There was just enough emphasis on the word to make me want to groan. Edward just shrugged it off.

"The usual. Movies, music, hot sex. What about you?" Edward's causal reply shocked me. Everyone else burst out laughing.

"Haha, you're a brave man Cullen. She-beast over there might fillet you alive for that." Seth joked gesturing to me. That was okay though. Cullen had jokes, and so did I.

I snorted. "Why? The only pants he got into was his own." Everyone went 'oohh!' covering their mouths. Edward looked at me with mock severity.

"Perhaps I am mistaken, but if I remember correctly, you weren't wearing any pants for me to get into." Edward told me with a wink. Everyone gasped wide eyed looking from me to Cullen.

"I wouldn't be surprised that you don't remember considering it lasted for about two seconds." I countered back sweetly, playing along. "And to think, you still had all your clothes on."

All the guys at the table looked at each other and said 'damnnn' in a low voice, before cracking up laughing.

"Shots have been fired!" Sarah giggled out.

Edward and I gave up the pretense of arguing and started laughing together.

"Ya'll are too easy to entertain." I told them shaking my head back and forth.

Tyler shrugged. "Makes life more interesting."

Seth and Embry nodded agreeing.

"So really though, when did you two become an item?" Jessica asked me. I felt a blush coming on.

"Ana finally stopped resisting my charms on Friday." Edward told her with a wink towards me. I felt my heart beat a little faster. Jessica laughed.

"Aww. You two are so cute together. Are ya'll going to the Halloween dance together then?" I looked up at Jess surprised.

"There's a dance?" Jess rolled her eyes at me.

"Wow, live under a rock much? Yes, Halloween is here on Friday! And we always have a commemorative dance. There's been one every year. Although it would be nice if you made an appearance at this one." She told me laughingly. I felt my face turn so red.

"Maybe." Was my pink cheeked reply. Jess gave Edward a look.

"You have your hands full here I see." He turned to me and gave me a wink.

"Yes I do." His eyes looked positively wicked looking at me like that.

And my face bloomed with more color I was sure. I coughed.

"So are ya'll going together then?" I asked Jess looking to her and Erik. She nodded. "What about you Seth? Embry? Blackmail any innocents into going with you?" I teased.

Embry smirked. "I just so happen to be going with the lovely Kate." Seth snorted.

"You haven't even asked her yet." Embry shook he head

"Actually I did, earlier today and she said yes. So there." Seth rolled his eyes. "Don't be jealous. I'll take you too if you want." Embry winked. Seth looked horrified.

"Ugh. As if." Seth replied with a valley girl accent. We all laughed at their antics, which pretty much lasted the rest of lunch. When the bell rang for our next classes, my sides were aching from laughing so much.

"Well they are certainly an interesting group of people. I can see why you like them so much." Edward told me as we sat down at our desk in Bio.

"Yeah, they are ridiculous. But I always come away with a smile on my face." Like the one currently plastered across my cheeks. I grinned at little wider at Edward to make my point. He laughed.

"So about that dance." He started. I gave him a curious look. "Would you be interested in going with me?"

"Oh, umm," I gnawed on my bottom lip contemplating. Edward's face fell a little. "I just don't have a costume or anything ready. I'm really unprepared." I admitted. His face brightened again.

"I could take you to the mall after school sometime this week." He offered.

I scrunched my nose, I probably looked pained.

"What?" He asked.

"I hate shopping. Especially at the mall." He opened his mouth to say something, then stopped. He looked down at his pocket any pulled out his phone. He smirked almost immediately.

"Oh boy." He murmured. I was going to ask him what he meant by that, but Mrs. Harper walked in and started teaching so it was going to have to wait. Luckily she was teaching something interesting enough to me that I didn't worry overly much about what Edward's message had said. Unfortunately she ended class late which meant we didn't get to talk as our next classes were about to start. I assumed we would speak after school was over though so I relaxed.

When the final bell rang I nearly sprinted out the door. I made my wat to Edward's car only to be pulled up short by his sister Alice.

She embraced me in a big hug. Normally I felt uncomfortable with that sort of contact from people I wasn't really acquainted with, but Alice was nice.

"You and I are going shopping together today." She told me sweetly. Edward was leaning against his car now with an amused smile on his face.

"We are?"

"Yup. I've seen it, so there's no point in resisting me." She told me sweetly. I groaned.

"But I'm really bad at it, terrible actually. I promise after fifteen minutes you'll be ready to kill me." I warned her.

"I'm always up for a challenge." She told me brightly. Well there was no use in fighting it I supposed.

"Okay. Are you coming too?" I asked Edward. He frowned looking at Alice then shook his head 'no'.

"Alice doesn't want me to see your costume. It will ruin the surprise." He rolled his eyes as he said it.

"Oh. I guess that makes sense. But won't you know anyways?" They understood what meant. The he would see it in Alice's head anyways.

"Alice is very good at avoiding me and tuning me out so to speak. She's pretty good. And since I don't want to be a spoil sport I'm not going to try." I gave him a sweet smile at his words.

"Well thanks then. Okay Alice, I'm ready when you are." Alice beamed at me.

"Alright Edward!" She put her hands out for the keys to his car. He eyed her suspiciously then set them in mine, for the second time that day. He kissed my cheek in the process.

Alice was surprised by the action, I could see some sort of silent exchange between the two but I didn't comment. Edward finally left so Alice and I could go.

"Okay where to?" I asked as we got in his car.

Her reply was the largest scariest grin I have ever seen…

**So, definitely not the biggest cliff hanger ever, but I'm sure some of you are wondering what Ana's costume will be. I'm not telling so you'll just have to wait!**

**I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, I love incorporating songs into the story because I love music. I will list the songs below for your convenience although they are in the story too.**

**As Always I love reviews, so please let me know what you think :D**

**Ana's Playlist:**

"**Such Great Heights" by Iron and Wine**

"**Situations" by Escape the Fate**

"**Break" by Three Day's Grace**

"**Here in Your Arms" by HelloGoodbye**


	17. A Little Fluff

**Chapter 17: A Little Fluff**

**Ana's POV**

"Ohh God!" I sighed exhaustedly as I flopped back on my bed closing my eyes and moaning in bliss at the feel of the soft mattress beneath my aching back. Shopping with Alice had, admittedly, been a little fun, but it was also tiring.

I moaned a little more stretching by rolling my hips up, arms high above my head, and back arching. Then I wiggled back and forth in bed, before relaxing on a contented sigh.

A slight cough, made me gasp before popping my eyes open in surprise. I looked over to see Edward staring at me, eyes aglow with heat. He slowly walked towards me until he was hovering just over my bed. My heart was beating overtime with anticipation. He bent down low so that his lips were directly beside my ear.

"That was the sexiest thing I have yet to see you do." He nearly growled. I shivered and closed my eyes sighing in pleasure.

"You drive me crazy you know that?" His voice held a smile. I replied with a sort of 'Mmmhmm' humming noise. He chuckled. I felt the bed give as he sat beside me. "Tired?"

I cracked a lazy smile and nodded my head.

"Alice is a beast." I told him then yawned. He chuckled again. "It's true. She shows no mercy." More chuckling.

"She certainly has worn you out today."

"I probably wouldn't mind so much if it had been your doing." I said. When he didn't say anything after a minute I opened my eyes to see his shocked ones. It took me a moment longer to process what I had said. My face went up in flames. "Oh. That is so not what I meant!" I threw an arm over my eyes hiding my face in embarrassment.

Edward laughed at me. "I suppose that's too bad. I would have enjoyed wearing you out." He whispered seductively in my ear. I groaned then moved my arm out of the way to squint my eyes suspiciously at him.

"You tease."

"Who said I was teasing?" He asked nipping my ear softly.

"Edward." I groaned. He did that way too well and it made me feel all hot. His eyes looked at me knowingly. "Fine, do what you will." I said with mock surrender throwing my arms over my head giving him full access to me.

"And you call me a tease." He laugh-whispered. I grinned sticking my tongue out at him.

"So what are you doing here anyways? I didn't expect to see you tonight." He looked a little hurt at when I spoke.

"Do you want me to go?" His voice was soft, but still saw the uncertainty in his face. I shook my head.

"No. Not at all. I was just curious. Alice mentioned you probably wouldn't come since you were hunting. So I'm just surprised is all." His eyes softened.

"I couldn't stay away. And I wanted to talk to you about this dance. In class when I asked if you wanted to go you evaded and then I let Alice drag you off to go shopping. I never got a real response on if you even wanted to go or not." He looked really guilty and sad. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't mind." He shook his head at me as if to say my response was lacking, which technically it was. "I guess I hadn't given the dance any consideration. I've never been to one so I don't know what to expect. I suppose part of me is curious and wants to and the other part is scared I'll look like an seizure patient on the dance floor." I said trying to honest. He cracked a smile.

"I think you would be fine. Do you want to go with me? If you say no, I promise I won't hold it against you." I rolled my eyes at him.

"I just spent all afternoon shopping with Alice for this darn dance, if you try to back out now _she _will murder you and I will watch since I probably would hurt myself if I tried to help." He chucked again at me and his eyes lost the sadness. It put me more at ease.

"Alright. I am not trying to back out. I wanted to be sure it was what _you_ wanted." He told me pointedly. I threw my hands up in surrender.

"I'm good. We will go to the dance. _Now_ can we drop it?" He rolled his eyes at me this time. I smiled.

"Did you at least enjoy the shopping excursion?" He asked me. I snorted a little.

"Maybe just a tiny bit. If you tell Alice though_ I will_ try to hurt you." I said with severity. He laughed at me. "It wasn't so bad once I got her to stop making me try on things that would show the entire world my cookie."

Edward barked a laugh. "Your cookie?" I gave him a severe look.

"Yes. My cookie, muffin, hoo ha, or whatever else people like to call it. I just know I don't want _mine _hanging out." He was giggling. Like a full on girlish giggle. It amazed me.

"You can say pussy at lunch in front of all sorts of people with no problem, but you can't say vagina here alone with me. You are priceless." I blushed furiously. I had forgotten about lunch.

"I was referring to a cat." I tried to say seriously, by my lips twitched trying to smile.

"Uh huh. Alright, although I can't imagine Alice making you wear something where your _cookie_ would be bared, granted it does sound intriguing." Oh boy. My blush intensified.

I coughed to get myself under control. "Yeah well you didn't see the leotard Wonder Woman costume she stuffed me into." I said with a shudder. Edward's eyes got big again.

"No, but I wish I had." He said eyeing my body. I groaned. I was really going to have a permanent blush now.

"No you don't it was awful. Better than the Cat Woman leather outfit, but still I might have scarred the sales lady for life." Edward started laughing. "It's really not funny. Apparently all Halloween costumes are meant for is dressing up like a slut. It's not attractive looking like a popped can of biscuits in spandex." Edward stopped laughing and turned a fierce eye on me.

"Don't talk about yourself like that." His voice was ragged with emotion. It stunned me.

"But.." He cut me off.

"No. Don't you ever say you're not attractive again! You're so damn beautiful Ana it makes my eyes hurt." He got up to pace the room breathing a little more shortly. The unnecessary action spoke for itself, he must have been really angry.

"Edward?" He stopped pacing to look at me. His eyes were still fierce though. "I won't say I'm sorry for what I said, because I believe it. But I am sorry I upset you. It wasn't my intention." His stance lost some of its rigidness.

"I really do think I'm unattractive." He opened his mouth, but I held up a hand stopping him.

"Please, let me finish what I have to say. I have body issues. Or self-confidence issues. Whatever you want to call it. I think I'm fat and not pretty. It's how I feel. It's how I've felt for a very long time. And I can't just change that. I can promise, however; I won't say those things in front of you again. I didn't say them to get attention or anything like that. It was just on my mind."

His posture was completely relaxed now, but his face looked unbearably sad. He slowly walked towards me, lifting my chin to meet his eyes. He stroked my cheek softly.

"Ana you are so beautiful. I wish you could see that. I don't want you to censor what you say to make me feel better. It simply drives me crazy that you don't see yourself clearly." He continued to stroke my cheek. It was a soothing motion; looking into his eyes I felt maybe he really did think I was pretty.

"I didn't mean to make this all sad. I really don't worry about my looks much anyways. Well, unless it involves inappropriate body parts hanging out." I got a small smile from that comment. I smiled back. "So what's your costume?" I asked wiggling my brow. Yes, it was a shameless change of topic, but I really wanted to get out of the depressing funk we were headed to.

Edward smiled at me. "That is a secret my dear." I pouted scrunching my nose.

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours." I told him with a sassy wink. He tossed back his head and laughed. It was a beautiful sound that never ceased to fill me with a sense of pure joy.

"You are a little minx aren't you?" I opened my eyes wide in pretend innocence.

"Me? Whatever have I done?" Edward shook his head at me.

"You are a little too good at that. Do you practice that look? I'm sure you must."

"Whatever are you talking about?" I said keeping up the ruse. He laughed at me.

"You are quite distracting you know that?" My eyes went wide in serious that time. "I always forget when I am around you. You make me feel human." My eyes softened at his words. I reached up slowly and gave him a gentle kiss.

"You are human to me." And I kissed him again.

When he left a few hours later my heart was happily sighing at having someone who cared for me so much. It felt wonderful to be able to spend time together and to just talk. Something I had never really had before. Granted I did still keep many things secret, but even so I had never been so open with anyone ever before. It truly felt like I was living a fairy tale.

I went to sleep with a smile on my face.

**Okay don't shoot me. Yes it was just a short fluff, transition chapter, I'm sorry. :/**

**I was going to add more, but I wanted a whole chapter by itself for that, so that's why I'm stopping short. Hopefully I will have an update for ya'll before too long. **

**A BIG SHOUT OUT TO FangsandDaggars and Isntbella for your reviews! I love and appreciate your comments, and ya'll keep me going when I think no one else is liking my writing. :D So THANK YOU!**


	18. Old Spice, booty, rag dolls, tombs, hero

**Chapter 18: Old Spice, booty, rag dolls, tombs, heroes, and dead people**

**Ana's POV**

"Stop it! If you tug at your skirt one more time I will tie your hands together!" Alice warned me as I adjusted the mid-thigh skirt of my costume for the millionth time.

"But Alice, It's riding up! It didn't ride up this much in the mall. I don't understand." Was my near panicked reply. The dance was today. In less than three hours. And I ruined my costume. There was no time to go out and find another.

"That's because you put it in the dryer." Alice told me with a disgruntled look on her face.

"I know! But I had to wash it. I wasn't about to wear a costume tons of other people may have tried on without cleaning it first." I was really near to losing it. It wasn't just the length of the costume, but the bust was small now too. I was nearly spilling forth. It was a miracle I had even been able to put the thing on. "I can't wear this!"

I reached down to pull the garment off when Alice trapped my hands.

"First of all, washing it was fine, but you have to hang cotton things up to dry or they will shrink. Second, you are not changing. You look fine Ana. I told you in the mall you bought a size to big anyways, now it fits like it is supposed to."

I'm sure my eyes were nearly bugging out at this point.

"It's too freaking short! And my boobs are popping out!" I felt my eyes begin to fill with tears. I hated crying, but this felt like a disaster. Alice took in my expression and her hands let go of mine to wrap me in a hug. "We still have to do makeup and hair, and you aren't even ready yet. We don't have the time." I choked out. I don't know why I was so upset. Probably because I wanted everything to be perfect; it was my _first _dance. And Edward was my date.

"It's going to be fine Ana. Hey don't cry we can fix this. Okay?" She stood back to wipe away the tears. I nodded trying to get my emotions together.

"Hey I have an idea!" Alice's face lit up. She rushed to my dresser and back in a flash so quick I nearly blinked. She held out a black garment in her hands. I looked at the material dumbly. "I forgot all about this. I remembered how embarrassed you were about your legs showing so I bought you some black leggings. The thick kind that are more like jeggings instead of tights. You can put these on under your costume, so you don't have to worry about the length of the skirt!"

That did make me feel a little better so I hurried to put them on under the dress. Taking a look in the mirror I was much relieved to see that the leggings complimented my shape, while keeping my bottom from being able to be seen if I bent over. However the bust off the dress was still an issue. My breasts were really about to spill over. One wrong move and someone could lose an eye.

"Alice the leggings are great. But this top… If I even think about dancing, the girls are going to make an appearance." I said pointing to my breasts. Alice frowned thoughtfully.

"It _is _rather snug through there." She frowned more deeply tapping a finger to her chin. Her eyes lit up again. "Wait I have it!"

She flipped out her phone in a motion so fast and was talking a mile a minute. I didn't have a clue what transpired, but Alice looked so animated like she was about to burst with excitement. When she hung up she did a twirl around the room.

"Umm, what was that about?"

Alice grinned at me, her perfect white teeth flashing. "You'll see. She'll be here in two minutes flat I think."

Exactly two minutes later, an elegant woman walked through the doors. She was of medium height with a slender build. Her sandy hair was swept back in a short bob that looked straight out of the fifties. She had a small mouth and delicate nose, but large eyes that somehow complemented very attractively. She too was pale like Alice, and her eyes golden, although near the iris they were bluer. She was wearing a white and black polka dotted dress that snapped sweetly around her calves. In her right hand she carried a square case large enough to be an overnight bag and in the crook of her other arm was a smaller black and white box.

As she stepped through the door she gave me a sweet knowing smile, taking in the outfit and all. I felt a rather heated blush coming on, for I knew this woman had to be Edward's mom.

"Hello dear, I am Esme. Alice called about the issue, perhaps we can manage to fix it up nicely." The woman said setting the cases down on the floor gently.

"Um, thanks. It's nice to meet you. I'm Ana, but you probably knew that. I really don't know if it's fixable. I mean, I'm just way too big for it." I hung my head in embarrassment and dejection.

"Nonsense! It just needs a few adjustments is all. Here, come sit on the bed and let's see if we can work some magic." Esme's sweet voice fell on my ears, calming me down. I sighed sitting down on the bed.

"I dried it. I don't know what I was thinking, but I put it in the dryer. Now it's way too short, and the leggings help, a lot, but still I feel like it's indecent. And the chest, is… well… you can see. I'm going to bust through it." I held my hands up in a hopeless gesture.

"Hmm," was Esme's thoughtful reply. "Alice had an idea, one that I think we can use to make this work out perfectly. The costume is a bit plain, save for the black lace vest. I think we can add some lace to cover the parts you feel are too exposed." With that she pulled open the large case to reveal a sewing machine. Upon opening the smaller box Ana saw several yards of black, silver, and white lace. There was plenty of it to make an entire costume from scratch if needed.

"See I think if we add some of that black lace here and here, it will cover her chest nicely. It would hug a little, but would stay in place." Alice told Esme pulling the material from the box and holding it next to my skin.

"Ohh yes. And then we can match it here and here on the sleeves. Just so that it kind of falls down around her forearms, like so." Esme said, draping the cloth so that it peaked just below the elbow then split outward and down.

"I think you should add a layer of lace to the bottom, like a high-low dress," A new voice rang out in the room. I turned startled to see Rosalie standing in my door way. Her golden hair gleamed beautifully around her like a halo. She was wearing a small smile that I didn't expect.

"That's a great idea. We could make it so that it comes just a little further down in the front, then gets longer in the back, all the way down to her calves. Maybe make it pointed in, sort of off kilter triangle like." Alice said really getting into it.

Before I knew it, I was stripped of the costume and Esme had it under the whirring sewing machine as the black lace was added. While Esme worked on the costume Alice did my makeup and Rose did my hair. They did my nails and even went as far as to give me a pedicure too, even though the tall boots I would be wearing would cover them up.

It was fun actually. They were so easy to be around. Alice and Rose joked with me as if I was just another member of the family, and Esme shook her head at our silliness. It felt great to have some other girls to hang out with. They just talked and laughed, it was such a great time.

When my costume was finally finished and I was completely dressed, Rose looked at me and gave me a long whistle.

"Girl you look hot." Esme and Alice nodded in agreement. I turned to look in the mirror not really knowing what to expect.

I was stunned. The girl looking back, no longer resembled the sometimes shy, chubby, bullied, insignificant girl from high school. In her place stood a daring, and even sexy woman ready to take on the world.

I nearly cried.

"Stop!" They all shouted at me when my eyes started to fill.

"You'll ruin our masterpiece!" Rose warned. I laughed.

"I'm sorry, it's just… thank you. I feel… awesome! It's happy tears."

Esme looked at me tenderly and patted my head sweetly.

"You look beautiful darling. Edward will have his hands full tonight. Take it easy on him okay." I laughed, breaking the tension building up.

"Come on! You too need to get ready! What are ya'll wearing?" I asked excitedly.

I couldn't wait for tonight to begin.

**EPOV**

I was getting nervous. An inexplicable emotion that until recently I had not felt in many, many years. But with Ana, all was different. She was always so unexpected. Saying or doing things that I couldn't predict. Like tonight. I still wasn't absolutely certain that she even wanted to go to this dance. Perhaps I had pressured her into it. I felt a twinge of guilt. I had fed her to the Alice wolf.

Internal cringe, again.

"Dude, calm down." Emmet warned me, as I walked in brisk circles around the living room. I sighed coming to stand still at his remark. He was right I wasn't calm.

"What has you so twisted? She's just a _human_ girl." Emmet told me with confusion.

"Em, lay off it. If he wants to wear a hole in Esme's carpet, let him. We get to enjoy the ass chewing that would result." Jasper replied with a snarky grin.

I rolled my eyes at them.

"What are you supposed to be exactly?" I asked Emmet distracting myself from my nerves. He was wearing something utterly ridiculous. A pair of white pants with a tan belt, no shirt, but a blue and white striped sweater wrapped around his neck. His hair was sort of slicked back too.

"Dude, I'm the old spice guy."

"The what?" What the hell was he talking about?

Jasper started cracking up.

"He supposed to be that black guy from the old spice commercials. You know, 'The Man Your Man Could Smell Like' guy." Even if it hadn't triggered the vague memory, the picture that popped into Jasper's head would have sufficed.

"Why are you dressed like _him_? You don't even wear old spice."

"He wants to be black," Was Jasper's helpful response. Emmet rolled his eyes.

"Because it's freaking funny. And who are you supposed to be?" Emmet challenged Jasper.

"He's Star Lord." I put in. Emmet's eyes grew big.

"No! Damn, why didn't I think of that? Guardians of the Galaxy was the bomb!"

I laughed looking at them, and shaking my head.

"Shut up." Em stuck his tongue out at me.

"Alright Ginger Spice take it down a notch." Jasper told Em, giving him a playful pat on the back.

"Uh excuse me, but I am totally Sporty Spice and that would make you Baby Spice!" Emmet goaded.

"I am not a Spice Girl, and if I was it would be Scary Spice. Ain't nothin' baby about me." Jasper winked. Em gagged. I rolled my eyes for the millionth time.

"Well don't you all look splendid?" Carlisle remarked walking into the room. Em grinned.

"No costume for you Carlisle?" Jasper asked. Carlisle smirked and unbuttoned his shirt a little to reveal a superman 'S' underneath. We all started laughing.

"Does that make Esme, Lois Lane?" Carlisle shrugged.

"I'm not sure what she will be wearing. We decided to surprise each other this year. What are the girls dressed up as?" Everyone shrugged. Carlisle laughed. "I guess we weren't the only ones with the idea then."

"Maybe we will find out. If they ever show up." I grumbled a little. Jasper and Emmet looked knowingly at each other.

"Yes, well as I heard it there was a bit of a wardrobe malfunction earlier. Esme went to help." Carlisle put in. I hadn't realized that. Now looking into Carlisle's mind, I knew very little other than what he already said, which wasn't much.

"Oh great. Now we'll never make it to the dance." Emmet mumbled.

"Oh I highly doubt that. This was nearly three hours ago. I'm certain they have it all figured out now. They will probably be here shortly." Carlisle encouraged them.

My phone chirped unexpectedly almost just as soon as Carlisle finished speaking. Everyone looked to me. I flipped the phone out quickly.

"_Hey! We are going to meet you at the dance okay? Don't want to spoil it for Ana. That is all, bye!"_ The message read, I spoke aloud so everyone would know and there was little need for questions after that.

"Well I suppose we should head out then." The others agreed and so we left for the dance. Pulling up I knew we arrived before the other girls, so we waited outside for them. It was only just getting dark when Alice pulled up.

When Ana stepped out of the car I was floored. She was… stunning. I felt overwhelmed with her beauty. Never before had I seen her so relaxed and confident. It was simply sexy as hell. And her costume accentuated it.

She was dressed as a pirate. A freaking sexy pirate to boot. She wore a white blouse who sleeves were capped with black lace at the elbow and draped down. More black lace fringed snugly to the tops of her breasts. A dark grey corset-vest was laced around her middle, pushing her breasts up at the top, and coming down to a 'V' at the bottom. A bit of deep red started at the bottom of the vest as the first layer to the skirt. Then a bit of white came next. And finally black lace that hung down a little below mid-thigh that wrapped around to the back and draped down into a 'V' to the back of her calves. Knee high black boots laced up the front. To top off the effect she wore a grey-black pirate hat fringed in black lace.

Her hair fell in soft nearly golden waves around her face. A light hand of makeup had been applied so that it was mostly her deep red lips that stood out.

"Uh, hi," she told me shyly after a minute of me ogling her.

"Hello." I managed after a moment. "You look amazing Ana. Absolutely stunning." She blushed harder, the rosiness of her cheeks complementing her lips nicely.

"Edward, stop. You're embarrassing her." Rose said giving me a playful shove to the shoulder. I was surprised to feel Rose's protectiveness over Ana. But I was glad they were all getting along so well.

"Alright. Only because I don't want the tomb raider to kick my butt," I winked at Rose, she smiled sweetly. She was dressed as Angelina Jolie from Tomb Raider. She looked good.

Alice on the other hand, as always went for something a little different. This year she was Sally from A Nightmare Before Christmas. Her rag-doll dress and makeup stitches were easily recognizable.

I turned back to Ana to see a funny smile on her face. She was looking over my costume, there was a twinkle of humor in her eyes.

"Something wrong?" I asked my voice turning a little husky. She smiled and shook her head.

"Not unless Voldemort is here tonight." She said pointedly. I smiled. She was the first to really get my costume.

"Shh! You can't talk about He Who Must Not Be Named," Em said wide eyed.

"I'm just saying, Cedric Diggory over here is in trouble if He Who Must Not Be Named shows up. Do me a favor and don't touch any trophies. It could be a Portkey."

"I think I'd be more worried about what herbs he might get into. He is a _Hufflepuff_," Jasper said mimicking a smoker. I gave him raised brow, Ana nearly doubled over with laughter.

"Wait, you're supposed to be Diggory?" Emmet started to laugh. "Hey that's kinda funny because didn't he die? I mean _you're_ dead, playing a dead guy." With that he burst in to a fit of giggles.

"Damn, I think Em has a point for once," Jasper teased in pretend shock. Em snorted.

"Screw you guys, I have great ideas. Like why don't we go inside?"

"Wow Em, you're on a role! One more good idea and Rose might not be ashamed to take you to the park anymore."

Emmet glowered at Jasper's teasing and grumbled something about 'Damn stupid bloody birds' then walked away with a laughing Rose inside the building.

"Do I even want to know?" Ana asked me looking up, her eyes glittered with humor again.

"Probably not. Shall we?" I asked offering her my arm. She gave me another sweet smile and we headed through the doors.

**APOV**

The dance was hopping. Loud music blared out from every corner, crazy costumes danced about haphazardly, and laughter sounded everywhere. It was a unique site.

I hadn't thought the dance would be so cool. It was amazing how the cafeteria had been transformed into something right out of an old spooky movie. There was of course, some cheesy decorations, pumpkins, cauldrons, and fake spider webs, but it just looked fun and silly instead of cheap and tacky. Whoever had done the decorating deserved a high five. It was fabulous.

I looked over to Edward yet again stunned at how charming he looked dressed as a Hogwarts student. I imagined him wearing many different costumes, but nothing like that. He looked incredibly sexy with his tousled hair, black robes, and the intelligent gleam in his eyes. Those eyes now turned to me, a question in there depths.

"What?" I asked feeling a little breathless. He leaned down low so his lips brushed my ear.

"You really do look ravishing." I felt a thrill run through me. I wasn't sure if it was because his lips were practically on me, or if it was his words that put delicious mental images in my head. A hungry look exuded from him. "What are you thinking about?"

I swallowed, my mouth feeling very dry. I gave him a sassy smile though I was sure he could feel my thundering heart. "Just about you." His eyes darkened a shade.

We stared at each other for a moment.

"Oh my God Ana! You look amazing!" Angela's voice interrupted the moment. She embraced me in a big hug.

"You too Ang. My favorite little Fern Gully farie." I told her taking in her costume. Her eyes lit up.

"You got it! I swear you're the only one who figured it out so far. Everyone thinks I'm supposed to be Tinkerbelle."

I shook my head. "Crysta doesn't look anything like Tinkerbelle. Hello her outfit is red! Tink's is green." Angela started laughing.

"I don't think anyone really remembers the movie. Tinkerbelle is more popular." Angie pointed out.

"Yeah, but she was snooty patootie in the original movie, and Crysta was a sweetie, so I think it fits."

"Awe, you're so sweet Ana. Well I need to go find Tyler. I was supposed to be back with drinks forever ago!" She laughed.

"I thought it was the guy who was supposed to get the lady the drinks?" Edward questioned. Angie's eyes lit up.

"Tyler said the same thing, but I'm a futuristic woman and I can't be stopped." We all laughed. "Come find me later. I'll be with Thor." I took it that Tyler was dressed as the Asgardian God. It kind of fit.

"Sure thing. See ya!" I called over the music, before she moved away. I felt so light and carefree. Dances were so much fun! I looked over to Edward who also had a large smile on his face.

"So I'm trying to figure out. Who had the wardrobe malfunction? You all look great!" I felt my cheeks go up in flames. How had he heard about that? "Ah, I take that means it was you. I never would have guessed though. You truly look beautiful." I was blushing very hard now.

"Yeah well, that's mostly thanks to Alice, Rose, and your mom. It would not have been so good otherwise." He gave me a questioning look. "I uh, washed and dried the costume. It was more than a little too small. Some adjustments had to be made." Dear Lord, bury me! I was so embarrassed. Edward frowned.

"How did they fix it? It looks like it fits perfectly to me." He was looking me up and down with an appreciative gleam in his eyes. Could I get any hotter? My face felt like a fire.

"Ah well," I stuttered. Then I told him about the disaster and how lace was added.

"Remind me to thank Rose," he murmured, after I told him Rose had convinced me not to wear the leggings after all since they had made the skirt longer. I blushed even harder at that. The way he said it made me feel desirable.

"Well now my delectable Hufflepuff, would you care to dance? I know it's not a Yule Ball, but perhaps this will suffice?" I said daring to be the first to ask. Edward's eyes gleamed.

"Aye, my beauty. You must be a pirate, for you have stolen away my heart." He whispered then took my hand leading me out to the dance floor.

I really hoped a girl couldn't die from blushing, as I was certain I was about to be reaching the upper limits of my rosy cheekiness.

But Edward didn't seem to care. He simply stared at me, embracing me in the heat of his eyes. When he took my waist in his hands and led me in a dance I felt as if the whole world just clicked into place.

And so we danced.

**Whoo hoo.. I just love dances don't you (dances in a circle around the living room with a non-existent partner). I have a bit more to go, but it seemed like a good place to stop. **

**I'm popping out these chapters as fast as I can, so if there are mistakes (oops!) please feel free to let me know. **

**Thank you all for staying with me thus far! I appreciate all that have followed, favorited, commented, or just read my story. **

**A BIG thank you to my reviewers FangsandDaggars, reader5sam, and sealinsocks! I love that ya'll have left me comments and are enjoying (hopefully) yourselves with my story.**

**Peace Out (bahahahahaha…. Yeah it's not that funny, I know)**

**-Shadows**


	19. Regrets

**Chapter 19: Regrets**

**Ana's POV**

"Oh, I'm so exhausted. This buccaneer needs a break!" I laughed out. We had not left the dance floor since we arrived nearly three hours ago. My feet were starting to hurt and I really needed a drink or something.

"Come on! We're just getting started," Em pouted while dancing with Rose.

"Well I'm sorry but I just don't have the stamina of the Old Spice Guy! This girl needs a drink." They all chuckled and agreed. Edward led me over to the refreshment table. There was a smoking cauldron with some questionable green punch, but at this point I was parched and didn't really care.

"Some ghoul soup for the lady?" Mrs. Harper asked. She was wearing a witches costume with a pointy hat and a fake crooked nose.

"That would be great!" So she dished Edward and I up a cup and we made our way to some empty seats in an unoccupied corner of the room. It was surprisingly deserted over here, but then I guessed it probably had to do with the fact Mr. Hodges, a creepy Geometry teacher was hovering nearby scaring people away. However he didn't pay us any attention and moved on to harass students over at the gummy worm display.

"Feeling tired?" Edward whispered in my ear.

"Just a lot." I laughed. "No, I mean my feet hurt a little bit, but this is great. I haven't ever danced so much. Best first dance ever!" I told him with a sincere smile. He gave me a soft smile back.

"I'm glad you are enjoying yourself. I was afraid you wouldn't."

"Why did you think that?" I asked him surprised. He shrugged his shoulders.

"You've never attended a dance before. I had to wonder if you only came because I pressured you."

I shook my head. "No, I came because I wanted to. I'm glad you asked me. I might not have gone otherwise. So if it was pressuring me, then I'm glad. I would have missed out on a really fun time."

He gave me sweet smile at that.

"I love your family by the way. I may steal them from you." I teased. He grinned again. "Seriously, I had no idea Rose was so nice. You made her seem so… aggressive, before."

"To be honest, I _was_ surprised. She doesn't usually take well to others, and before, well she certainly wasn't happy when I decided to be with you. I think if anything, you changed her opinion. I guess even Rose couldn't overlook how sweet you are."

I rolled my eyes and bumped my shoulders into his. "I'm not that sweet. I'm a daring pirate that steals booty." I play poked him, pretending my finger was a sword.

"Oh yes, you are quite fearsome." He laughed at me.

"I can be," I raised a brow at him. He raised one back, and then we laughed. "By the by, where is your wand?" Edward barked a laugh.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" He wiggled a brow at me. I slapped his shoulder.

"You sir are terrible. A downright rake."

"Indeed, but I fear it is your doing. You bring out the scoundrel in me." He winked. Oh… my… swoon.

"You know me." I laughed. His eyes turned suddenly serious.

"I'd like to."

And that made me feel like a melted bowl of butter.

"I'd like that too." He smiled at me.

"Are you ready to go back?" He gestured to the dance floor. I nodded.

"Yup, I just need to make a pit stop." I laughed gesturing to the hall that led the way to the bathrooms. "Please go on ahead, I'll be back in a few." I said when he started walking me towards the girl's room.

"Oh, you don't want me to wait for you?" He looked a little dispirited.

"No offense, but I need a little privacy sometimes. I don't like the thought of you hearing me go pee. It kinda weirds me out." I was going to be blushing so hard from saying that. But Edward's eyes lit with understanding. He looked like he would be blushing too if it were possible.

"Oh, Right. Well then. I'll just… go," And with that he turned and briskly walked back to the dance. I would have laughed if it wasn't so embarrassing.

I quickly walked into the restroom. I was surprised to find it empty, not that it mattered anyways. I was done shortly, but I stopped in front the sink mirror to look at myself. My face was flushed from the dancing… and blushing.

I looked good though. I looked happy. Genuinely happy. I washed my hands off in the sink with a smile on my face. When I turned to leave I was surprised to see someone else had entered the room.

"Oh sorry," I mumbled because I almost walked into them. My eyes shot up to the person, and went wide in confusion as I came face to face with Mike.

"Uh, this is the girl's room." I told him backing up, and trying to get near the door. He looked like he didn't care. He was wearing a football uniform and had black face paint on his cheeks. He also looked like he had been drinking. Disheveled hair, red hazy eyes, and he reeked of some cheap whiskey. I scrunched my nose as the offensive odor.

"Ana," he grinned. It was lascivious. Terrifying. I pretended nonchalance.

"Mike. This is the girl's bathroom. You need to leave." I said it just slowly enough to make my point clear.

"Nope," he told me advancing on me. "I'm not going. That's the problem with you girls. You think you can tell a man what to do." He didn't stumble over his words, which made my stomach sink. Maybe he wasn't drunk after all. That would take away any advantage I might have.

I shot out a hand when he tried to get closer.

"I'm not telling you what to do. It just so happens to be a fact that boys are not allowed in girl's bathrooms. If you please I have people waiting for me." And with that I tried to scoot around him to the door.

He was on me in a flash, and pinned me against the wall.

"I told you I would get you back someday. Doors locked don't ya know. No one's waiting for you. No one cares." My heart started beating overtime. Reasoning wasn't going to work here.

"What do you want?" Perhaps I could appeal to his since of importance. That would buy me a little time. Maybe Edward would come back, he would get worried after a minute, right?

Mike's eyes gleamed and I felt a shiver run through me. "You're just waiting for me to screw you aren't you? You like this rough, huh Ana. I can tell you want it." He ground himself into me. I nearly gagged at the feel of his quite hard member pressing against my bare leg.

"Let me go, Mike." This was it. I was done trying to be polite.

"Nope. I'm going to take what I can. You can't get away Ana. I have you trapped." He smirked and brought a hand down to touch my thigh. I twisted in his clutch. He savagely gripped the top of my thigh under my skirt and snatched at my panties but ripped my skirt in the process. I nearly crumbled. This couldn't be happening.

Not again.

Not ever again.

When I felt his hand try to advance upwards again, I shoved my knee up as high as I could as hard, as I could. I connected with his thigh. It earned me a hiss of pain and he relaxed his grip on my hands enough for me to break free. I brought my elbow down on his face, connecting nicely with his ear. He staggered back, I advanced.

"You will never touch me again!" I screamed making a fist and punched him with all my might right in between the eyes. He cried out and dropped to the floor. Blood gushed from his nose.

With that I turned to run out of the bathroom, barely managing to get the door open before Mike was on his feet. I rushed out into the dance hall as fast as I could, Mike tackled me to the floor from behind I landed on my stomach with a 'oomph'. The crowd of people pulled back so that we were surrounded in a ring.

"You stupid bitch!" Mike screamed slamming my head forward into the floor. I instantly felt blood pour from my nose, but I wasn't giving up. I twisted quickly throwing Mike off balance onto the floor beside me. I shot out my fist once again connecting with Mike's face, only this time it was his mouth I pounded.

I was furious. I leapt up, but so did he. When he lunged at me again I quickly shot out my leg kicking him right in the gut. He stumbled back. I used his momentary lack of balance to land another kick, this time to his side. He went down, and I felt a swell of pride fill me.

I had successfully defended myself against Mike. I might have a bloody face, but his was bloodier and I was proud of that. I turned to walk away when he shot out a hand and grabbed my leg making me fall. I was dazed enough not to expect another punch when his fist made contact with my jaw. Then again this time to my stomach. My eyes closed in pain. I swung out blindly connecting with something, but I wasn't sure.

I quickly opened my eyes when the pressure of Mike sitting on me left. Edward had pinned him to the floor by this throat. He looked like he was ready to rip the boy apart. As much as I might have enjoyed that, I knew it would be bad. I got up quickly to pull him back.

"Edward, don't. He's not worth it." I whispered in his ear. He didn't budge, but tightened his grip on Mike's throat.

"Edward!" I shouted louder this time. "Look at me!"

He turned, eyes filled with rage to look at me. I grabbed his face.

"Let him go." It was all I said. I stroked his cheek as gently as I could manage. He closed his eyes, just for a moment, then released Mike. The boy choked rolling over to get air. Edward grabbed me and moved back.

The whole entire exchange from Mike tackling me until now, took only a matter of a minute maybe two, but it had felt so much longer. Mr. Varner and a few other teachers were just getting inside the circle to break things up. Mike was now standing ready to charge us again, when a teacher stepped out.

"You! In my office. Now!" Mr. Jackson shouted at Mike, grabbing him roughly by his uniform. Mr. Jackson was basically the school disciplinarian. He was the one who broke up fights, guarded over the students sentenced to In School Suspension, and he was also an assistant coach for the football and baseball team. If he was yelling at Mike that was a good sign that for once he might actually be in real trouble.

"Mrs. Swan, Mr. Cullen. You two will report to the principal's office immediately." He told us, before walking away with Mike. His tone had been a little gentler than it was with Mike, so that was something. Still I had a bad feeling.

Mr. Varner escorted Edward and I to Principal Matthews office. Mr. Varner asked us to wait outside the door while he went in. I was surprised to find he was actually there. Most Principal's didn't stick around this late after school hours.

Edward and I were asked to go in after a few minutes later. I assumed Mr. Varner had explained at least some of the situation.

"Ana, Edward." He acknowledged us as we came in. Mr. Matthews, unlike many people of authority was less formal with students and felt it was better to speak to each other by our first names. He said it encouraged open communication. Many people gave him grief over it at first, but under his guidance, the school had done very well, and most people overlooked his oddities.

"Fighting on school grounds is strictly prohibited and in some cases results in a minimum of three days Out of School Suspension, followed by another three days of In School Suspension." He let that sink in for a moment. I felt that was pretty lenient, considering many students could be expelled for fighting. "However, given the circumstances, I am willing to negotiate this. I always felt punishing students by making them miss class was counterproductive and I only enforce such if it is necessary."

I perked up at that. Maybe we would only get afterschool detention. I could do that. Or lunch detention. That would work too.

"I ask that both of you relay what happened tonight. I will then confer with Mr. Jackson on Mike's side of the story. I will also remind you we have camera's set up inside the school. We will be looking at those as well." There was a warning there; basically he would know we were lying if we said anything other than what happened.

"Ana, would you like to go first, since this started with you and Mike?" I nodded. "Would you like Edward to leave so you may speak to me in private?" I was surprised he was even giving me the option.

"If it's okay, I'd like him to stay." I was gripping his hand pretty hard and I wasn't sure if I could make it through this otherwise.

"Alright. I've asked Mr. Varner to stay as well and I will be recording this conversation. Is that agreeable?" I nodded it was so. He started the recorder and motioned for me to begin.

"Umm, I guess it started when I left to go to the bathroom. I had been dancing for a while and I needed to well… go pee. But uh, anyways, I was about to leave when I ran into Mike." Mr. Matthews frowned.

"You ran into him in the hallway you mean?" he asked. I shook my head.

"No sir. I mean he was in the girl's bathroom. I didn't even hear him enter, he was just there when I turned around. So I told him he wasn't supposed to be. I was afraid he wouldn't understand."

"Why wouldn't Mike understand?"

"Unless I am really mistaken, Mike has been drinking. He smelled very strongly of Evan Williams whiskey." Mr. Matthews looked surprised.

"That's oddly specific Ana. How do you know that?" I gulped and squeezed Edward's hand harder.

"My… my mom used to drink it. I'd recognize it anywhere." Mr. Matthews made no comment.

"Well, after I told him to leave, he got kind of angry and so _I_ tried to leave. He pinned me against the wall at that point." I took a deep breath to steady myself. "He said he locked the door so no one could get in. I asked him what he wanted and then he just went off on me about how he knew that I wanted him. He basically said I wanted him to sleep with me." I took another steadying breath, but this time I couldn't look at Edward.

"What happened the Ana?" Mr. Matthews asked me softly. I looked up at him.

"I asked Mike to let me go. But he didn't. He held me down by my thighs and ripped my skirt." I pointed down to the cloth. You could tell it had been ripped from underneath. The material was sagging to one side exposing a whole lot of flesh, including the beginning of a bruise that went up much higher all the way to my hip.

"I kind of panicked and kneed him in the thigh really hard. I don't think he was expecting it, because he relaxed his grip enough for me to get away. I elbowed him in the ear and then I punched him in the nose. He fell down and I used the opportunity to get out of the bathroom. I guess I figured if I got in public he wouldn't follow me.

"I had made it to the cafeteria when he tackled me from behind and I fell to the floor, then he shoved my head into it." I reached up to touch my nose, which still hurt. "I think I rolled over at that point and punched him in the mouth and then I got up. He charged me. So I kicked him in the stomach and then the side. When he went down I tried to walk away, but he grabbed my leg and I fell. And then he started punching me. He hit my face and my stomach. I think I punched him again, but I had my eyes closed so I don't know where I hit him.

"The next thing I saw was Edward on top of Mike. He had him pinned to the floor by this throat. I didn't want Edward to get in trouble so I asked him to let go of Mike. He did, then all the teachers were there. And now we're here." I finished. I felt bad about bringing up what Edward did, but he wouldn't have wanted me to lie.

"Thank you Ana." Mr. Matthews told me, then turned to look at Edward. "Alright Edward. What did you see?"

"I had my back turned when Ana came in, I only had just turned when I saw Mike attack her from behind. When they both went down I tried to make my way through the crowd, and being that my height is greater than many students I was able to witness a lot of what happened.

"I saw Ana roll over and punch Mike in the mouth. After she got on her feet, Mike tried to run at her but she stuck out her foot catching him in the stomach. And then she twirled around and kicked him in the side. Ana moved back, but he grabbed her ankle and pulled her down to floor then started whaling on her." Edward's voice tensed up even more at this part.

"Perhaps I lost my mind a little, but I simply couldn't hold myself back. I jumped on Mike and I did pin him to the floor by his throat. Maybe I shouldn't say this, but if it wasn't for Ana telling me to let him go, I probably would have pounded his face in." Edward looked Mr. Matthews directly in the eye when he spoke. I could have sworn there was a slight smile at the corner of his lips.

He nodded at both of us.

"Give me a few minutes. You two can wait here in my office while I go speak with Mr. Jackson." At that he and Mr. Varner left.

"Are you okay?" I asked Edward after a moment. He turned with an ironic smile on his lips.

"You were nearly raped and you're asking if I'm okay?" His voice was tight, and his eyes, oh, his eyes were distraught with so much anger and disgust.

I turned away, feeling ashamed. My skin burned with it. I didn't look back at him. We sat in silence until Mr. Matthews returned about fifteen minutes later. He had Mr. Varner and Mr. Jackson with him this time.

"We have just reviewed the video tapes from tonight. We have found that both of your stories match what we have seen. However, since cameras are not allowed in the bathroom there is an issue of he-said-she-said in this department." I wondered what Mike had told them happened. He probably said _I_ jumped _him_.

"Mr. Smith, reports that he did follow you into the bathroom, but it was at your request. Did you ask Mike to meet you in the girl's bathroom?" His eyes were so serious. I wondered if he believed Mike.

"No sir, I most definitely did not." It wasn't said as strongly as I would have liked, but then again Edward wasn't holding my hand now, and some of my courage had faded.

"Mike claims you asked him to meet you there. That you wanted to speak with him privately. He says that you tried to seduce him and when he rejected you, you attacked him."

Oh of course he did, the sniveling coward.

I looked up at the men in the room, realizing with sudden exhaustion that my side of the story didn't matter. They had already decided who they believed.

"So am I expelled now?" My voice carried the tiredness I felt. Principal Matthews looked confused.

"Why are you under the impression you are to be punished?" He asked.

"It's pretty clear you believe him; so there's no point in me trying to argue, is there?" I really felt like crying.

"Ana, I can understand your lack of faith in the system especially in concern to Mr. Smith. We are all well aware of how he has treated you in the past. Unfortunately our hands have been tied by your own silence on the matter. We can't take action against someone if no one speaks up."

"I did speak up." I said, angry tears running down my cheeks. "I spoke up when he first started all of this. I told the teachers, I told my friends, I even told the principal. _They_ told me there was nothing they could do. Where's your evidence Ana? Mike would_ never_ do that. Are you sure _you_ aren't over reacting? Tell me why I'm supposed to keep talking to people who won't do anything to help me?" My voice had grown stronger with my anger; all the hurt rushing out.

Mr. Matthews looked surprised and confused.

"Who did you tell Ana? I never heard a word of this from you."

I angrily brushed back the tears.

"Every single teacher I had in middle school. When everything started I was eleven. And I spoke about it to anyone that would listen. And they all told me I was just being sensitive. Boys will be boys."

Mr. Matthews looked so sad.

"So don't get on to me for not saying anything. I _tried_. I tried for _years_. And yeah, when I finally got to high school I stopped trying, because what was the point?" My voice finally broke. There was nothing more for me to say. Nothing more I could do.

"Ana, we are here to make sure things like this, bullying, never happens. I am horrified to hear that none of your other teachers, or Principal Blackshear made an effort to put a stop to it when this all first started." His voice sounded so genuine, I was able to lift my head and look at him. His gaze was horribly melancholy.

"Why would they have? Mike's dad is the Mayor. And it doesn't matter if it's wrong, but they _both _use it to do whatever they want."

Mr. Matthews looked angry at this. "Ana, let me assure you that Mayor Smith's position will _not_ be used as a copout. What happened here tonight is enough to have a man arrested. If I did anything less than turn this over to the police, then I don't deserve the title of Principal."

"But you said yourself, it's all hearsay. What can the police do? It's my word against his."

"Mike _hit_ you. We have it on tape. Perhaps it is a bit archaic, but when a man hits a woman, the police do not take it lightly. Not to mention underage drinking is involved."

I was starting to see his point, but I didn't think it would really make a difference.

"So what now then?"

"I have already contacted the police, they should be here shortly. I will have copies of the video tapes and your statements to give to them. They will probably want to speak with you both though."

When the police arrived I had to give my statement at least three times, and I was ready to crash. I felt so tired and I just wanted to go home, scrub myself clean, and then go to sleep.

"Ana?" A voice called to me from behind. I had been leaning over the desk I was sitting at, trying to not fall asleep. I straightened up as my next inquisitor came to stand in front of me.

"Here, you look like you could use a cup of joe." The friendly voice told me. I realized immediately this wasn't just another cop, but the Chief of Police, Mark Jones himself.

I took the cup from him and made more of an effort to sit up straight. "Thank you very much." I told him sipping on the coffee. It was bitter, but it warmed my stomach.

"You look like you're ready to drop. Are you feeling okay?" His brown eyes were kind and concerned.

"Yeah, just zombie like." He gave me a half smile at that.

"We are pretty much done with everything here. I just wanted to come speak with you." This was news to me. I was sure I would be there all night. "We are arresting Mike for assault and attempted rape." I know my eyebrows must have shot upwards at that. I had no clue.

"But… really?" I felt dumbfounded. His eyes were serious.

"When we questioned Mr. Smith about what happened, he couldn't keep his story straight. However, I like to think we have a good team, and you could say Officer Jenks is very good at getting people to spill the beans." I felt amazed. I didn't think even in my wildest imagination that Mike would ever actually get in trouble for his actions.

"You mean, he's going to jail?"

"Well I certainly will do everything in my power to make sure he is justly punished for his actions. Although he is legally an adult, it is more than likely he will make a deal do some time in a juvenile hall. Either way, we are seeing to it that he doesn't bother you or another person ever again."

"Wow." It was all I could manage at this point. "Will I have to go to court? Testify?" That brought up bad memories from the past, but I could do it.

"I cannot say for sure at this point, but we think this will never go to court. Mayor Smith isn't an idiot and he knows if this gets to court it would ruin him politically. I think at this point keeping things as quiet as possible is what he's going for." He paused for a moment. "I know your father is out of town, have you spoken with him?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah. About an hour ago. He's doing his best to come in as soon as possible, but it will probably be a day or two."

"Is there someone you can stay with tonight? Although Mike will be locked up at least for the evening, I don't like the thought of you staying alone."

I fumbled here. Who was I supposed to stay with?

"Oh, umm," _crap._

"Ana is staying with us tonight." A familiar voice called from across the room. It belonged to Carlisle. I wasn't surprised to see him, but I was at his offer to stay at his house. Granted it kind of made sense.

"Carlisle. I should have known." Jones smirked, with a light eye roll. "Well Ana you will be in good hands for certain then." He paused for a moment and spoke lowly with Carlisle. I didn't try to listen in.

"Alright. I'd get her in a bed soon or she's liable to fall asleep on the floor," Officer Jones remarked before leaving Carlisle with me. I looked up at him feeling more than uncertain as to what I was supposed to do.

"Hello, Ana. I'm sorry we didn't get to speak earlier. Normally I wouldn't assume you would stay with us, but I saw you needed an out." He told me kindly. I relaxed.

"Oh. Well thank you. I appreciate it. I guess I should be getting home though. He was right. I'm about to fall asleep." Carlisle looked like he was about to say something, but he stopped. The slight cock of his head to the right made it seem as if he was listening to something. Well he probably was. I wondered who was talking.

I stood slowly and blinked hard a few times, trying to will away the sleepiness. I guess the coffee hadn't helped much. I tossed the cup in a nearby trashcan. Before I got to the door, however, Edward walked in. He and Carlisle exchanged a glance, before Carlisle left.

Being alone with Edward made me feel antsy. After his comment earlier, we hadn't spoken. I hadn't even seen him since the police had shown up anyways.

"Hey," I said blandly. And lamely. _Wow that was pathetic_.

"Hello," was his just as lame reply. It made me smile a little.

"Ana," he started. I didn't look at him, but waited for him to continue. "Please stay with me tonight." He said it so softly, I almost missed what he said. I felt so surprised I looked at him. He looked strained.

"You _want_ me to stay?" Shock colored my tone.

"Of course I do." His words were tortured. He moved closer and lightly ran his hands up my arms. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

"I thought you were upset with me." I searched his gaze. He shook his head.

"I was upset with myself. For allowing this all to happen. If he…" Edward trailed off, his eyes getting darker and more morose. "I can't even say it Ana. It nearly killed me watching what I saw and then what you said afterwords. I was so angry, with him, and myself. I should have never left you." His words were anguished.

"You can't predict everything Edward. And it just so happens that I'm alright. I'm not saying what happened is okay, because it's not, but I'm okay now. Thank you for being there for me." I touched his face. His eyes came back to mine losing some of the sadness. "Take me home."

He looked deeply in my eye then nodded his head. Very soon we were on our way to his house.

Maybe everything would be alright.

…**Alrighty! I finally finished this chapter. You guys have no idea how many times I wrote and re-wrote this. If there are mistakes… well I'm sorry I have no beta to scold me. (If you are interested in the job, let me know!)**

**So I hope this helped resolve some issues that my lovely reviewers let me know about. Many were concerned that Mike gave up too easily and most bullies usually don't, so hopefully I've addressed that here. **

**If there are any other concerns you have, feel free to PM or leave a review, I always respond.**

**Thank you all for your love and support!**

**-Shadows**


	20. Thoughts

**Chapter 20: **

**Edward's POV**

I was starting to feel at ease for the first time since Ana had come screaming down the hall with Mike trailing on her heels. Well, as close to at ease I as was going to get under such circumstances.

Ana was finally sleeping more peacefully than before and I could feel the tension relaxing from my frame at her apparent tranquility. Earlier had been a different story.

I had wrongly assumed her exhaustion would allow her at least some reprieve from the nightmare that had become her life; that she would drift into oblivion for a while, before having to deal with the consequences of the evening.

It was not to be so. Although she had in fact fallen asleep almost as soon as she was seated in my car, it had been anything but serene. And yet to call it agitated would have been an overstatement.

No cries, no quick rapid restless movements; only small shivers and the most morose expression I have ever seen on her lovely face. And it was this mournful expression that had me so uneasy. Cries or shouts I could have dealt with, by waking her, but this melancholy grip was harder to handle. Waking her would have served little purpose and yet to look upon her face ripped straight through me.

I felt a sigh drift to my lips watching her sleep. The wrinkle that was marring her brow had finally eased up to a small crevice. She wasn't shivering so much either. Just a fraction of a restless shake every so often.

I refrained from holding her tighter, even though my instincts were screaming at me to do so. I wanted to make sure she was alright. I needed to feel it. Even with her in my arms, I still felt that at any moment I would look down and she would be gone.

And part of me hoped for it.

Because that would mean tonight hadn't happened. That the horrible events hadn't taken place after all.

A useless thought. No amount of wishing was going to change anything. It wasn't going to take the fear out of my heart… or mind.

I pushed back at the vision of Ana running down the hall, terror rampant on her face, and looked at the serene one in my arms.

I gently stroked her cheek, a twitch of smile formed on her lips. It made me smile in return. I wondered at her ease. As horrible as this night had been, I had expected more. More of a reaction from her. She was too calm about everything that happened.

Her composure was better than mine. During the questioning I had nearly ripped everyone apart for making her talk about it. But she was so collected, if a little exhausted.

Well more than a little. She_ had_ passed out almost immediately upon getting into my car. That made me smile. She trusted me enough to sleep.

So I had stopped by her place, gathered a bag of clothes and toiletries then taken her to my home, my bed. The latter being more for her comfort while she slept than anything. Or so I told myself.

My conscious demanded that I accept she could have just as comfortably been placed in the guest room, but that wasn't the point. I just needed her beside me. I needed to care for her, watch her.

To be honest I was terrified of letting her go, and for not being there for her in the bathroom. I should have never walked away.

I sighed closing my eyes as I held her close to me. This should have never happened. I should have been there. I should have stopped Mike.

The rage that formed in my head at the thought of him was nearly unbearable. I had only once been so taken by my rage that I contemplated murder. Only then I had followed through, and tonight, I would have, had she not gotten through to me. How that was even possible I can't comprehend. Only just, that for a split second she did and reason returned.

It was her eyes.

The very first time I looked into them the world tilted. Even now, months later it still tilts. Those eyes. Her heart shines through them.

It's almost more telling than thoughts are. And they touch me more than any thought ever has.

And yet every day I ache to hear them from her. I keep hoping and waiting to see into her mind. To know the secrets she's been holding on to. The ones she can hardly think of herself.

I already had a terrible suspicion what she hid, an idea that pained me beyond belief. And yet I felt it was right. My fears a reality in the twisted fate of the most gentle soul I had ever met.

I think she fears my reaction more than anything. What I would think of her if she told me the truth. _As if I would ever see anything less than her sweet, generous heart? Her opulent smile and iridescent eyes?_

I nearly laughed at myself. Opulent? Iridescent? When had I become a poet?

But the lyrical words fit. As if anything less would be much too mundane. And they would be. Only the most beautiful words could really describe my Ana.

For she is mine and I am hers. A selfish realization I had come to sometime while holding her. I would never be able to give her up. If she ever rejected me, and my heart told me someday she would, I would let her go, but I would never get over her. There would be no other for me for the rest of my days. And I imagined upon her death, a subject that caused an indescribable aching in my chest, that I would choose to leave this world too.

"Edward."

I nearly jolted at the voice. It was Alice. She had managed to sneak up on me in my distress. I looked at her and knew her thoughts. She had seen my decision. Tears were formed in her eyes.

"She could…" she began. I shook my head cutting her off. I knew what she thought. Ana as one of us. I had seen it in her head many time before. It always felt wrong. And the thought of her like me gave me no joy.

"She will stay human." It was all I had to say on the subject. Alice sensed it and left.

I stroked Ana's cheek for a while, feeling my own exhaustion take me. Her even breathing and gentle beating heart seduced my eyes to close and unconsciousness to take me.

**Sorry for the extremely short chapter. I was going to give you a fuller one, but I felt Edward's thought's best stood alone and hopefully gave some insight on how he's feeling. **

**Thanks for reading. I hope to update soon, with a more meaty chapter. **


	21. Dreams and Landscapes

**Chapter 21: Dreams and Landscapes**

**Ana's POV**

_I knew I was dreaming, but even so I felt carried by it. The silver sliver, a shining memory that danced daintily on pointed toes. I weaved precariously between the specks shimmering spectacularly before me._

_Trees filed tall and firm, whisking by in a fight between slow motion and super speed. Twinkling leaves humming in a wispy breeze as I traveled through. A mystical world enveloped in the fairy dust of the sun's glitter. _

_I remember laughing. A full, and somehow mute sound that carried through the wind. My hair whipping around as I danced to a soundless beat. _

_And I spun._

_Circles, round and round. Arms wide open, welcoming the wood spirits to me. Head titled back, eyes up and closed. The feel of my grin stretching my cheeks._

_A feeling of fullness._

_Freedom._

_Hope._

_Spinning, spinning, the world changed._

_My arms pulled into wrap around me, and the glitter faded to soot, twinkling to shuttering, and laughter to stony silence that hurt my ears with its loudness. My cheeks cold, aching with the desire to stretch out once again. _

_No more circles._

_Falling._

_Pain._

_Turned earth never hurt so much._

The air was cool when I awoke. Light played across my closed eyes, in a dance that enticed me to open them. I resisted for a minute longer, relishing the feel of soft silky sheets around me.

_Silky?_

My sheets were cotton.

My eyes popped open of their own accord, a small 'oh' forming on my lips as I took in the unfamiliar surroundings.

Looking up I saw the textured white ceiling peak at the center of the room then slant outward towards deep green walls. Cream colored molding accented them well. A large set of bay windows across the room streamed in light across the dark wooden floors. Handsome matching furniture sets were thoughtfully placed throughout the room. But I didn't give them much thought as I felt a shifting beside me and a hand wrapped around my waist.

I didn't even have time to panic when a voice spoke in my ear.

"Mmm, you smell good."

_Edward._

Relief swamped me.

His beautiful face popped over my shoulder to look at me worriedly.

"Hey are you okay? Have a bad dream?"

I felt embarrassed by the thudding of my frightened heart.

"Uh, yeah," I cleared my throat with a small cough. "I'm fine I mean." He gave me a doubtful look. "You just surprised me."

It was his turn to look embarrassed. He frowned at himself.

"I apologize. I had not considered you waking beside me." He extracted his hands from me and I felt a sense of loss from his retreating touch.

"Don't." I whispered softly. He gave me a deep look, as if assessing what it was exactly that I wanted from him. He tentatively wrapped his hands around me once more. I closed my eyes and snuggled into him. Some of the rigidness left his body and he relaxed against me.

"Where are we?" I asked after a moment realizing I had no clue.

I felt more than heard his chuckle.

"My bedroom."

My eyes popped back open at that. _His_ bedroom? I shouldn't have been surprised, but I didn't remember anything after getting into Edward's car last night.

"Oh," was my lame reply, but I couldn't think of anything else to say.

"You fell asleep on the way to your house. I thought it would be better if you stayed with me. I hope you do not mind. I had trouble letting you go." The last part came out as a confession. It warmed me.

"I don't mind."

I felt his grip flex around me.

"Did you sleep okay?" I asked. I hoped I hadn't been too bad of a bed partner.

When he didn't answer immediately I turned in his arms to face him. He looked worried.

"What?"

He traced a finger down my cheek. It was warm from our constant contact through the night. It made me smile.

"You amaze me."

I truly hadn't expected him to say that. I'm sure confusion was written all over my face.

"You were restless at first, but overall you seemed to sleep peacefully. I do not understand how. After everything that happened I expected nightmares, screaming, or something. But, you were fairly calm all night." There was a sense wonderment and suspicion that colored his voice.

"That bothers you?" I asked it as a question, but it was more of a statement. He nodded his head. "Why?"

"It just seems normal that you would. What happened to you would have sent most girls your age into hysterics. But it barely fazed you."

Oh boy.

I knew his thoughts were leading him down a road I didn't want to discuss, but how else was I to explain?

"It really didn't faze me." I admitted. "Not that it wasn't upsetting, but I guess I feel like nothing happened." Edward's face darkened. "No, don't get angry. What I mean is that I stood up for myself and he didn't get to me. I wasn't just a victim." My voice pleaded for him to understand and his face softened again.

"Ana," he started but I shook my head.

"This really isn't something I want to talk about. I'm going to have to explain all of this again to my dad later, and I just don't want to think about it right now." With the dream heavy on my mind the subject was just too much to talk about at the moment.

Edward sighed, "Whether you want to think about it or not, you're going to have to. This is a big deal."

His pushing was getting on my nerves. As if_ I_ didn't know that?

I sat up pushing the covers to the side and hopped to my feet. It was too early to argue.

"Ana," his voice was exasperated sounding. It made me even angrier. But I ignored him and looked quickly about the room for some shoes. I needed to get some air. I noted I had been changed into my favorite pajamas which meant my clothes were around here somewhere. I saw my sneakers by the door.

I started to walk to them, but they disappeared before my eyes. I was stunned enough to take a step back. I turned to look at the offender.

"Edward." I growled angrily. The culprit was grinning unabashed with my shoes dangling from his hand. "Give me my shoes." I ordered more than asked.

"You have quite a temper. Funny, I never really noticed it before." He replied evading my demands.

"You haven't seen my temper, and if you don't want to I suggest you give me my shoes back immediately." I was giving him a death glare that I was sure would have worked if he wasn't already dead.

The infuriating man, simply smiled even larger at me.

"Oh I think I would love to see it."

He really didn't understand how upset I was. A large mistake on his part.

"Fine." I bit out. I turned away from him and walked to the door. I didn't need shoes anyways I told myself.

Edward was at the door, blocking my way in a flash. My heartbeat skipped.

"Let me by." I tried to sound firm, but he just kept on smiling at me.

"You shouldn't go out in this weather without shoes Ana." His words were condescending, scolding. I knew he was teasing me, but I was past the point of teasing.

"Let me by." I spoke each word slowly and with as much venom and confidence as I could muster.

He laughed and advanced forward.

I felt the blood drain from my face as the past mixed with the present.

Another person blocking the door. Another face grinning at me.

I staggered back.

The door burst open.

Jasper was at my side.

"Get out!" He shouted at Edward. I felt so dizzy. The room was spinning, and my lungs were constricting.

"Can't…. breathe." I panicked trying to claw my way out of tight air.

I heard voices shouting around me. But I didn't comprehend.

"Ana!"

"Leave! You did this!"

"But,"

"Go!"

I was shaking, and I felt the coolness of the floor on my cheek. I must have fallen.

"Ana, I need for you to breathe for me okay. I need you take in a big breath." Jasper's calm voice called to me. I tried to focus. I felt like a fish gulping on dry land.

"In, come on. Breath in." Air came whooshing in filling my chest, but it hurt. I focused on Jasper's face.

"Good girl! Alright, let it out. There you go, let it all out. Back in. Good, good." He coached me until the room stopped spinning, and my lungs were cooperating.

I shivered as I gained control.

"You okay?" Jasper asked me. I nodded.

"Better, yes." He gave me a doubtful look. "What just happened?"

"You had a panic attack."

When I thought about it that seemed pretty logical. I had never had a panic attack before though and I wasn't entirely sure how it happened.

"Oh." I looked around the room realizing we were both sitting on the floor. Jasper helped me to my feet and set me back on the bed. "Where did Edward go?" I asked noticing he wasn't there.

Jasper looked angry.

"I sent him out." I must have looked confused enough for him to elaborate. "Ana, he caused your panic attack. Holding you against your will after what just happened last night? He was basically asking for it to happen."

I wanted to object, but I knew he was right.

"Everything just happened so quickly. I mean he made me mad, but…" I trailed off unsure of how to explain.

"It wasn't anger you were feeling Ana." Jasper told me quietly. "You were feeling cornered. You were scared."

I realized the truth of his statement. I had felt caged.

"How did you know?"

His mouth quirked in a smile.

"Edward never told you? Figures." He rolled his eyes playfully. "I have the ability to feel and control people's emotions." He let that sink in for a minute.

"So when I started panicking…" He nodded at where I was leading.

"Yup. I felt it. We all try to stay out of each other's business, but with strong emotions I don't always have control over 'listening in' so to speak. I imagine it's the same for Edward as well."

I nodded trying to understand.

"So you helped me calm down?"

"I attempted to project calm, you were having a hard time receiving it than most others do. I almost wonder if it's a similar situation with me as it is for you and Edward. Somehow you are able to block our abilities."

"Oh, well thanks for helping me anyways."

He gave me a slight smile. "Anytime." His face turned serious. "Ana, I don't want to push you, especially considering what just happened, but you really should talk to someone. I may not be able to manipulate how you feel, but I can sense it. You have a lot you're holding on to, and it's going to make any relationship hard if you can't let go."

His words hit a spot in me. An aching spot that begged and pleaded with me to talk to someone about my pain. But that spot was always so overwhelmed by the rest of me.

"I don't know if I can Jasper. There's so much going on inside me. There's so much I'm afraid of saying. I don't think I would even know how to go about it."

"I think you problem is you're afraid of what others will think of you."

I nodded my head. It was true.

"I am. I just can't imagine talking about how I feel to someone who doesn't really understand what I've gone through."

Jasper seemed to consider my words and gave me a searching look.

"No one is ever going to have the same experiences as you. But that doesn't mean that they wouldn't be able to understand what you have had to deal with. We all have our pains and weaknesses. Closing yourself off because of them hurts a lot more though. Really think about talking to someone Ana. It would help."

And with that he left. I sat on the bed for what felt like a while, but I imagine it was only a matter of minutes. I contemplated what Jasper had told me. And if it were possible to speak to someone.

The problem was, I didn't want Edward to know. Not yet. It was still way to soon. We had only just begun to date. I needed time to get used to the idea, but that was progress right? Getting used to the idea of actually talking about it?

A knock on the door startled me out of my thoughts.

"Hey."

Edward was standing uncertainly before me.

"Hi."

"Jasper said he thought it was fine if I came back in."

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to freak out."

He shook his head vigorously.

"No, Ana. You have nothing to be sorry for. I should have realized that you were upset. I didn't realize I was pushing you so hard."

"Well I didn't either. I thought I was fine, until I wasn't. I'm so screwed up Edward it's not even funny."

He quickly moved to sit beside me.

"Ana you are not screwed up. I think you are so brave and amazing. I can't imagine what you must be feeling. And if you need time then I'll make sure to give it to you. I _never_ want you to feel unsafe or cornered with me."

"It's not how I feel. I mean not usually. But yeah I guess I do need some time to process. I don't want you to feel like I don't want to talk to you. It's just really hard for me. I'm not used to having anyone who cares or wants to know."

Edward looked so sad. I didn't want him to be.

"Please don't be sad. We only just started being together and I just need to get used to the idea of someone being there for me. Please understand." I felt like I was begging, but I needed him to be on the same page as me.

His face relaxed and he gave and agreeing nod.

"You're right. We have only been together for a short time. It seems like ages that I've known you." He gave a smile. "I will try to slow down. And if you feel like I'm moving too fast just tell me. I promise not to be upset. Scouts honor." He said holding up his fingers. It made me laugh.

"Deal." I leaned over and kissed his cheek.

He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. It felt so comforting. And it amazed me how only a few minutes before we were arguing. I felt so conflicted.

"Stop worrying. It'll give you wrinkles," Edward teased. It drew a giggle from me.

"I'm not worried. Wrinkles are sexy." I winked at him. He barked a laugh.

"I'm sure they would be on you." He purred. I rolled my eyes.

"Alright Casanova, calm yourself." He rolled his eyes at me. "So aren't you going to show me around your house?" I asked excitedly looking around at the things I hadn't noticed earlier. Like the fact that the room was shaped like a hexagon. Very cool.

"Oh, sure. Well this is my room," he stated obviously. "Through that door is the bathroom, and the other one over there is my closet. It connects to the bathroom." He gestured to the two doors a few feet apart on the middle left wall. "Then as you can see that door is for the balcony," he told me pointing to the walls to the right.

I got out of his bed and wandered into the bathroom. It was huge and beautiful. The taupe tiled floor shined beneath my feet. Soft brown rugs accented nicely. To the right was a long counter with two sinks, jack and jill style and a huge mirror across them. Just past the sink was a claw foot tub that was calling my name, but I passed on by with a great deal of resistance.

There was a fancy glass shower with jets all around. If I hadn't seen the tub first I would have thought the bathroom couldn't get more awesome. Still I kept on going, though I was nearly aching to try out the shower. I walked into the closet surprised at how large it was inside and the wide array of clothing in there. Expensive clothing at that. I brushed my hands along as I walked through back to the room.

Coming out I noticed for the first time a wall full of music. It was literally shelved from the ceiling down to the floor and a massive stereo system was dead center. It contained a record player, a multi-disk CD player, cassette player, and any other music playing device. It nearly took up the whole wall. How had I missed that? It was literally right beside the bed.

I meandered over to look at some of the albums. Some I recognized, some I didn't. Curious I looked at the record player, surprised and yet warmed to see 'The Postal Service' with the cover of "Such Great Heights" by 'Iron and Wine'. The song I had played for him just a few short days ago.

Smiling I left the media to walk over to the balcony doors. I stepped through onto the wooden planks. It was gorgeous. We were so high up. I estimated we had to be on the third floor.

The balcony braced the whole right side of the room, and a wooden stair case spiraled down to the lower floors. There were a few sitting chairs and a table. I walked over to the railing and looked over into the yard.

It was huge too. Straight down was a large deck equipped with a pool, hot tub, lawn chairs and a shack with a bar. Past the porch was an expansive yard that had to be at least two acres, maybe more, which was bordered with trees. About half of the yard was purposed as a garden with arches and fountains and the other half an open green space for playing.

I hadn't even seen the rest of the house and I was already in love.

I felt Edward walk up behind me. He braced his arms on either side of mine on the railing and leaned in.

"You like it?"

"I'm in awe. It's Nirvana. I can't imagine a more beautiful, elegant, and peaceful looking place. It looks magical Edward. Like a painting you would see in a fancy gallery. I'm almost speechless."

Edward chucked.

"Well if Esme didn't love you already, she does now."

I looked at him surprised.

"You mean _she_ did _all_ of this?" The incredulousness in my voice must have shown. He nodded. "I knew she was fabulous, but Edward this is incredible. I mean the taste and the placement of everything. It's absolutely exquisite."

"Oh yeah. Esme is probably going to keep you forever after all of that." He laughed at me.

"Oh, I forget. Everyone can hear us." I could feel the blush coming on.

"Don't worry. Most of the time we pay each other no attention."

"Still. No such thing as privacy huh?"

Edward shrugged. "All the rooms are sound proofed so it helps, and our rooms are arranged in a way that minimizes sound flow. It's not so bad."

"I guess it must be similar to how you hear thoughts."

He looked puzzled by my statement.

"I mean, you can constantly hear stuff, but you choose to ignore it. Like block it out? Like when I'm in a crowded room I can hear a lot of different conversations if I want to, but I can block it as well, where it mostly just sounds like background noise."

Edward was giving me that look again. The one where he looks stunned.

"How do you do it? How do you understand so well?"

More blushing… yay me!

"I don't. I'm just being logical. So can I see the rest of the house?" I asked excitedly hoping to change the topic off of myself.

He grinned.

"Absolutely."

**I'm cutting this chapter here due to a typical lack of interest in scenery explanations. Often when I read I find myself skipping over any descriptions and going straight for dialogue, so I'm trying not to bore ya'll with a lot of house details.**

**However, if you do want to know, I will be happy to expand. I already have ideas for the house, I just didn't want to be super long winded with a full tour in detail. Not that I'm against writing it, again I just don't want to bore anyone. If you would like to hear a full description let me know, I may send it to you or add a chapter that goes into further detail if I get a lot of requests for it.**

**As for now I will explain stuff as needed. **

**And now I need to give a shout out to my reviewers! FangsandDaggars, sealinsocks, Isntbella, and a Guest (stillreading22). I appreciate the time it took for ya'll to give me feedback which I always love! Feel free to leave more love!**

**I would also like to thank all the people that have favorited, followed, or just read my story. Your support is noted and appreciated as well.**

**Feel free to leave me some feedback, I ALWAYS READ IT! Seriously, and I reply too :D**

**-Shadows**


	22. Relief

**Chapter 22: Relief**

**Edward's POV**

"It's so amazing out here. I could wonder around for days and be perfectly content." Ana said happily. She was currently walking through Esme's garden, circling the plants and trees, stopping every now and then to smell the roses, literally. Esme had a huge variety planted throughout the entire garden, and Ana was relishing every moment. It made my heart fill to see her smiling.

"I think you might get hungry," I laughed. She gave me a teasing eye roll.

"People fast for days all the time. In such a beautiful place as this I don't think I'd miss food too much." No sooner had the words come out of her mouth when her stomach gave a loud growl. I laughed. She gave a glare at her stomach.

"Traitor," she mumbled under her breath.

I shook my head. She was a constant source of entertainment.

"Perhaps a light fare would be a compromise to your intent to fast."

She rolled her eyes at me. Then her they danced with mischief.

"I do declare, I am a bit peaked. Perhaps a morsel to consume would be advisable after dallying in the sun."

That made a hearty laugh escape my lips. She was mimicking my speech, or rather my diction, as I was accustomed to using outdated phrasing.

But I would continue the game, if only to elicit another smile from her.

"Ah, indeed. I shall do my best to acquire provisions henceforth. My lady should never be made to endure the acrid bite of famishment."

The corner of her lips twitched in humor.

"Then we best make haste, for I am surely to waste away soon from lack of sustenance."

"Never fear my lady, I shan't allow you waste away on my watch." I pulled her in my arms in a movement too fast for her to see. I grinned at her stunned expression.

"Oh dear, my head is swimming." She murmured, looking up at me with a wide eyed gaze. Her innocent face twisted something deep inside me; a place of pride, protectiveness, joy, and sorrow. There was so much I wanted to say and do, yet it would be too much or too soon.

"Hey don't frown." She teased me, tapping a finger on my nose. It made my lips quirk up at the corners.

"As you wish m'lady."

Her eyes closed on a small contented sigh.

"Can I stay here forever?" There was an edge of sadness and yet contentment to her voice.

"You don't want to see your dad?"

Her eyes opened at that. They were filled with dread.

"I'd love to see him, it's just, not under these circumstances. You know?"

I did understand. She wanted to be with her father without the horror of the previous evening over her head. Without his concern and probable anger. Not that he would be angry at her, but the situation rather.

"But I do miss him. So much I can't stand it sometimes. But there's this part of me that's almost angry that he's coming home." She confided looking away into the distance. Her words surprised me, she never hinted at being angry with her father, the opposite actually.

"I didn't realize you were upset with him," I commented trying to get her to explain. She shook her head.

"I'm not. I mean, not really. I'm just… I don't know." She paused. "This is what it takes for him to come home. And if last night hadn't happened there would be no telling how long it would have been before he decided to come back. It makes me feel like before… like it has to take me getting assaulted for him to care about me." Her voice broke. She cleared her throat. I felt like I had been punched. I never realized how much she was hurt by her father's absence.

"Ana," I started, but she shook her head cutting me off.

"I'm fine Edward." She looked me directly in the eyes and I felt the intensity of her gaze. "I didn't mean to go there. I guess I feel... unimportant. Does that make sense?"

I grabbed her in a hug. I couldn't stop the ferocity of it. I cared for her so much it hurt me tremendously to hear how she felt. She sighed into my arms and wrapped hers around me tightly.

I held her for a while. We stayed in each other's embrace, gaining strength from each other. I didn't let go until she smiled up at me.

"So how about that food?"

We laughed and headed towards the house.

* * *

"This is soo good!" Ana exaggerated around a mouthful of food Esme has prepared earlier. Pizza with sausage, mushrooms, and green peppers.

"I've died and gone to heaven. You beautiful Italian dish," she cooed at her slice, holding it in the air like Simba.

I rolled my eyes at her ridiculousness.

"You really like pizza huh," I teased. She gave me a dark glare.

"This is not just pizza. This is PIZZA," she emphasized pizza by holding her hands out and shaking them upwards. "This is manna, directly from the gods of deliciousness. Never insult the manna." She warned me with a wagging finger.

I held my hands up in surrender.

"My bad."

"Do you not like it?" The distress in her voice was genuine and so hilarious I burst out laughing.

"Of course I do, just maybe not as much as you."

"Here try my slice," she insisted pushing the piece to my lips and waiting expectantly. "Come on, you know you want a taste," she whispered seductively.

Keeping my eyes on her I took a small bite, exaggerating my lips around the slice, and then licking them when I was done.

Ana looked dazed for a moment while watching me, then her lips turned sensual and she took a bite of her own pizza. Keeping eye contact she moaned with enough enthusiasm to make me squirm in my seat from watching her.

Then she winked.

"Told you it was good." She told me sassily.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I can think of a few things that taste better." To emphasize my words I raised one brow and looked at her hungrily.

Her mouth dropped open.

"Did you just make a sex joke?" And she burst out laughing. "That was perfect! Edward Cullen you rouge!" She playfully batted my arm.

I flashed a grin, happy to see her so carefree.

"So tell me… what tastes better?" Her wide innocent eyes held mirth in their depths.

"I think it would be easier to show you," I remarked moving closer. That surprised her, but she smiled.

"Oh please do," she whispered her breath warm on my lips.

I leaned in close, but instead of kissing her lips directly I pressed mine to the corner of her mouth. She made a small noise in the back of her throat that sent heat pulsing through me. Next I ventured along her jawline, my lips caressing the smooth skin all the way up to her ear. She shivered violently when my nose grazed the delicate expanse just below her lobe. I took the opportunity to nibble there. She gasped and clung to me, twisting upwards and pushing me closer at the same time.

I had forgotten how sensitive she was to my touch. I had tried to keep my distance, physically at least, so that I wouldn't make her uncomfortable. After last night's ordeal I had assumed she wouldn't want to be touched intimately, even if the touches were innocent enough.

But I was wrong. I could feel her reveling in the sensations I brought her, and damn me if I didn't thoroughly enjoy her pleasure in my touch.

I continued to explore her neck, with my lips and nose gently sweeping along. Ana twisted, moaned, and panted under my ministrations. I threaded my fingers in her hair, massaging her scalp. Her groan was sensual and filled me with desire.

I gently pulled back, not trusting myself to stop. I wanted her so badly I nearly shook from it. Ana's head dipped back and she gazed up at me with heavy heat filled eyes. I rested our foreheads together in an attempt to control myself. Ana breathed heavily.

"How… how do you do this to me?" She questioned. Her eyes were closed and brows were drawn in tight.

"I could ask you the same question." That earned me a small quirk of her lips.

"I mean it though," her eyes were open now looking at me with a deep searching gaze that pierced straight through me. "How do you make me forget everything? When you kiss me… all the bad stuff just floats away. And I feel like nothing else matters. Just you and me."

It both warmed and saddened me to hear her words. I was thrilled I made her fill that way, but heartbroken she had so much sorrow holding onto her all the time.

"Do you think you will ever be able to talk to me about the bad things?" I whispered. I already knew her answer, but I couldn't resist asking. Her eyes clouded with pain.

"I don't know. It just seems pointless. Why talk about something that already happened? It doesn't change anything. And then to think about it all, it hurts so much." She looked away and my heart dropped.

"But," she continued and I looked up at her surprised. "But I know I should talk. I'm working on that. When I had the panic attack earlier Jasper made a good point, that keeping it inside is making things worse. That I'm more afraid of what people will think… what you will think of me." Her eyes wondered back to mine while she was speaking. They were scared and pained, but also trusting.

"I'm never going to think any less of you Ana. Never." I told her gently. She gave me a half-hearted smile.

"I feel like I know that, but then at the same time I'm scared spitless. I don't want to ruin this." She gestured to us. I hated that whatever had happened to her, made her feel that way. I could tell she didn't think she was worthy. And if my suspicions about her were correct I could understand, if not agree.

"There's no pressure Ana. I'm not asking you to spill your guts to me. I only want for you to be happy. If you decide you want to talk, it doesn't have to be with me." It would break my heart if she confided in someone else, but I would also understand. It was harder to tell bad things to someone you cared about.

"I believe you. And to be honest I'm not ready yet. However I am trying to be ready. I won't promise it will be anytime soon. Maybe that doesn't make much sense, but I am thinking about the future, I just need time."

I nodded my head, filled with more hope than I could imagine. She was thinking about talking to me, and that was more than enough for now.

"I'm serious about that pizza though… good stuff." Ana commented picking up her slice and taking another bite.

I laughed at her abrupt change of topic.

"Esme will be glad to hear it."

"Where is she by the way? For that matter, where is everyone else?" Her eyes rounded looking at me. "Are they sleeping in coffins somewhere in the house?!"

I never laughed so hard. I knew she was joking, but she had such a comical look on her beautiful face.

"Emmett will get a kick out of that one. Negative on the coffins. We have regular beds." She gave a disappointed pout.

"Dang. Ya'll are way too normal for me. Are you sure there isn't a coffin… even a small one?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure." She sighed. "Everyone is out right now, they went hunting."

She placed a hand on her chest in and gave a haughty 'ohh' while rolling her eyes.

"How fancy," she said in a voice I assumed was making fun of high society ladies from the 1800's.

"Ana you crack me up. I hope you know that." She gave me a grin.

"I do try. So since your fam is MIA, you and I have the house to ourselves… for how long exactly?" I didn't quite know where she was heading with her question, but there was definitely a mischievous look in her eyes.

"Several hours. I don't think anyone will be back before five, and it's only noon."

Ana tapped her chin playfully then stroked her pretend beard.

"Interesting. Are you sure no one will be here for a while?"

I laughed at her antics. "Yes I'm positive."

She let out a dark laugh. "Mwahahahaha. I have you all to myself my pretty!"

"Am I going to have to throw water on you?"

She gave me a look of mock horror and hissed.

"Not water! I'm melting! I'm meelttinggg!" She screeched when I flicked a bit of water from her cup at her. She fell in a heap on the floor. After a few moments she popped back up.

"So what are we gonna do today?" her cheerfulness was infectious.

"You are a goose. Do you know that?"

She gave an affronted look.

"Excuse me I'm a swan. Hehe get it? Cause my last name's Swan." She giggled at herself. "I kill me."

"Please don't. I'd miss you."

"Aww. You're sweet… and sneaky. So really though, what are the plans? Wallowing in self pity? Staring into the abyss? Solving world hunger? Jazzercise? Dinner with ourselves?"

"Just how many movies have you seen?"

"What? I just really like the Grinch. And movies… and stuff. Don't hate, cause I have master movie quoting skillz!" She made some play Kung Fu cops in the air.

"Yup, you're a master alright." I teased.

"Well I am in Ana World. It's a nice place. Lot's of spirits and cool stuff." She said it like it was the most logical thing in the world.

"Right," I exaggerated the word and gave her 'I-think-you're-nuts' look.

She laughed and swatted me. I smiled.

"I thought you might like to go to your house today. You mentioned you usually go every Saturday. I don't want to keep you from doing that."

Her eyes softened looking at me. She lifted a hand to my cheek and stroked it gently.

"That sounds great. Thank you."

* * *

I turned my head to kiss her palm.

"Anything for you Ana."

"Whoo! I am bushed!" Ana said throwing herself down on the freshly washed and waxed floors.

She was covered in sweat, dirt, dust, and probably some stuff I'd rather not think about. But she was beautiful as ever.

Her hair clung to her face and heaving chest. A smile of hard work and exhaustion clung to her lips. I could practically hear her muscles quivering from today's work.

"You worked too hard."

She smiled wider and shook her head.

"Nope, just enough. This is how it's supposed to be. Working hard makes me feel invigorated and exhausted. I feel accomplished and happy too. It's a great feeling, like I can make it through another week."

Her words were innocent enough, but they still struck me. She had suffered so much.

"Is it hard to get through the weeks?"

She rolled her head to look at me and gave a small grin.

"Not so much anymore." I was pleased at her saying so.

"And before me?"

Some of the light went out of her eyes making me regret having asked.

"Before you things were okay. Not great, but I was better." She looked away, her eyes seeming sad. Then she looked back at me. "I used to be really unhappy. Until I found the cove. When that happened my life changed."

"Happy accident huh?" She smiled at me, but her eyes were guilty.

"It wasn't exactly an accident." My confusion must have shown. She gave me a depreciating smile. "I didn't completely tell you the truth about how I found this place. I actually went looking for a special place. A place to die."

My heart stopped.

I was shocked to core.

I was conflicted and confused at her words. Obviously she was still there which meant something happened to change her plans, but it hurt me to even think about her death.

"I had been looking for a while. I knew in my heart I would know the place when I saw it. So I took my dad's truck and went looking. The day I found the cove I was ready. I had a feeling I would find my special place that day."

She said it so nonchalantly, as if she were talking about brushing her hair or going to the beach. No particularly strong emotions; just even toned and relaxed.

"You know the hardest part about deciding to kill myself wasn't whether I should or not, it was about how I was going to die. I wanted something effective but not terrifying. In my head I could just imagine some little kid finding me hanging from a tree and being scarred for the rest of their life. I just wanted something quick, and peaceful."

She paused for a minute as if thinking back. A smile bloomed on her cheeks. It was wildly erie to see her smile while talking about death, her own death so easily.

"But it t seemed like every option I went through was too complicated or horrifying. An overdose would require access to drugs or needles, and even then not everyone dies from that. Hanging would have been simpler, just need a tree and some rope. But I was afraid that my neck might not snap immediately and I would slowly suffocate to death. I wasn't a masochist; I didn't want it to be painful. So for similar reasons I ruled our drowning, although I'm not really sure how I would have managed that one anyways. There were a few other things I momentarily contemplated, but in the end I chose a gun."

Her words horrified me beyond belief. My stomach churned for the first time in well over a hundred years. I was finally starting to realize why she never opened up about her past; it was awful enough that she had contemplated suicide.

"What changed your mind, about taking your life?" I asked barely able to get the words out, but also wanting to know more.

She looked me dead on.

"I didn't."

I had to let that sink in. So she had attempted it? And she was still alive? I felt bewildered.

"I don't understand." I murmured.

She nodded her head, understating my confusion.

"The day I found this place I had my father's revolver and three bullets with me." She paused briefly.

"I found the head of the trail and knew it was somewhere down there that I was looking for. So I took the gun and bullets with me. I came across this tiny little clearing in the trail. It was… beautiful. The leaves in the trees looked like glitter with the sun shining through them. I couldn't have asked for a better place to end my days. It was perfect."

She paused again staring off into the distance for a moment. I felt so twisted up inside listening to her tale. Wanting so badly to take away the hurt that had driven her actions that day. She looked back at me.

"I brought three bullets because I wanted to make sure it would work. The first bullet was to test the gun with, and the other was for me. I brought the third bullet as a backup, just in case. I never expected to use it.

"I fired the gun to test it, it worked like a charm. It was louder than I expected and it kind of ruined the peacefulness of the place, so I just sat there for a little while waiting for the birds to start chirping again. And they did. There was this adorable little robin that was on a branch just above my head. I watched him singing and hoping around.

"I remember smiling when I aimed the gun at my heart. I just kept on watching the robin and then I pulled the trigger."

I had gone from shocked to sad to confused to flabbergasted in such a short span of time.

She had pulled the trigger, but she hadn't died?

"It confused me too. I didn't understand why the gun didn't go off. It clicked, but… no bullet came out." She shrugged. "I was surprised, but I had planned for it in a way, I had brought a spare. So I reloaded the gun and tried again."

A sarcastic smile painted her lips.

"Obviously it didn't work. I was astounded. The gun was fine, I had just tested it. But somehow I managed to pick out two dead bullets in an entire box. I mean what were the chances?"

It was a rhetorical question, but I felt just as baffled by it. What were the chances? The hair raised on my arms at the thought.

"And then on top of that, what was the chance that I would have chosen the one bullet that did work to test the gun with? It was a miracle. I found God that day." She was smiling again, her eyes filled with tears.

"I just knew that I wasn't meant to die. I didn't understand what my purpose was, but I honestly felt God was talking to me that day. He was saying that it wasn't my time. And I found peace in that. Which is all I really wanted. For so long I thought I deserved to die, and yet when it came down to it, I was spared. I still have no idea why, but after that day I never thought about taking my life again."

She pulled two bullets out of her pocket. I knew they were the ones from her story.

"I carry them with me as a reminder that I was meant to live. Sometimes it helps get me through an especially rough day. I've never told anyone this before." She gave me a shy smile.

Never had I felt more grateful that she was there and really opening up to me for the first time. In an instant I pulled her from the floor and wrapped her in my arms. I kissed her forehead and held her delicately in my arms.

"It's okay Edward. I'm here and I don't plan on leaving."

I pulled back to see her face. There was tenderness in her eyes that gripped me.

"I just cannot imagine a life without you Ana. It truly breaks my heart that you thought you shouldn't live anymore. And I'm so happy that you are still here and with me now."

I wanted her to know how much she meant to me. I hadn't breached the topic of love as I knew it was still too soon for her, but I also knew I didn't have to say anything. It was written all over my face and tone.

"I had thought about telling you sooner, but I felt weird about it."

"There's nothing to be ashamed of. I don't think any less of you if you're worried about that."

She shook her head.

"This is probably going to sound strange, but I'm not ashamed of my actions. At the time I felt as though I didn't deserve to live. Maybe you've heard of the saying 'Suicide does not end the chance of life getting worse, suicide eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better.' Well I never felt that way… the part about life getting worse. What I mean is I knew there was a chance life could get better, I just didn't think that I deserved it."

"How could you not think you deserved life?" I was astounded by her reasoning. She shrugged, giving me a wide eyed look.

"It's kind of hard to explain. Have you ever done something that made you feel guilty? So guilty that it starts to eat you up on the inside, and the only thing that can make the guilt go away is to fess up, take whatever punishment you think you deserve?"

I was starting to follow. She thought she had done something so terrible that it warranted her death. It was heartbreaking. How could someone so sweet and caring as Ana think she deserved to die?

"Well that's how I felt. That every day I lived, I was cheating and the only way to set things right was to take my life. I didn't particularly want to die, I just couldn't take the guilt anymore. And sitting under that tree, so willing to end it all I finally felt at peace. And when I didn't die, I realized I was wrong. That there were no odds to even, so to speak.

"I was only twelve. I didn't understand that things weren't my fault back then, but as I grew older I realized how messed up I was. The worst part is I wonder how many other people felt the way I did and didn't make it. That they died thinking they deserved death. I was saved, but how many others weren't? It haunts me sometimes, because I know, I just know that somewhere out there is another little girl who was just like me and she's pulling the trigger."

A mist formed in her eyes. I felt so humbled, by her. She never thought about herself, only others and how she never wanted them to feel what she had gone through herself. I wasn't amazed at how strong Ana was, but I was proud of her. It terrified me to think what if she had been one of the little girls that succeeded.

"Every time I think back to that day, or period of my life, I just wish I could reach out to all the people in the world that might be going through the same thing. And I wish I could tell them that no one deserves to die. God wouldn't want that. He would want us to love ourselves and move on from all the bad stuff. Even the people that have done bad things, even if they brought some of the misery on themselves, I wish I could tell them that it's okay. That everyone makes mistakes, but that doesn't mean the price should be our lives."

The passion in her eyes moved me. I brushed a lock of hair out of her face and touched her cheek.

"You have a beautiful soul. I hope you know that."

She looked surprised. And she shook her head, but she gave me a small smile.

"Only people with truly beautiful souls can see past the cracks and scrapes of others to think that."

Her compliment both bugged and warmed me.

"You must be one of those people then," I whispered back. She laughed.

"Can't you take a compliment?" she teased.

"Can't you?" I challenged back.

"Touché."

We stared at each other for a long moment, until I had to break the silence.

"Thank you Ana, for confiding in me today. I have a feeling this was just the surface of some very deep wounds, but I'm genuinely glad you opened up to me. I know you said you would work on it, however I never expected you to trust me so soon. It means the world to me."

I could tell she was uncomfortable with my appreciation.

"I really did take Jasper's advice to heart. Every time I think of something unhappy I give it power over me by keeping it a secret. I don't want to keep everything bottled up anymore. It makes me feel sick sometimes. So maybe the best medicine is to put things out in the open. Like today. I really do feel better having talked with you. It makes me feel like I'm not so crazy I guess."

"You are not crazy Ana. Anytime you start to feel sick inside, tell me anything. I never want you to feel eaten up like you did before."

"I won't make promises, but I will try."

It was the best I could hope for, and for now I was content.

"Alright enough sadness and doom and gloom. Why don't we go get cleaned up and have a comedy movie night?" I suggested hoping to bring the light back into her eyes.

It worked.

"I am so game!"

**Sorry…sorry… and sorry.**

**I know it's been forever and a day since my last update. I had a mixture of writers block and not enough time to work through it.**

**But hopefully this long..ish chapter helps to make up for the lack of updates.**

**Thank you all for reading my story this far, please feel free to review as I love feedback!**

**-Shadows out!**


	23. Return

**Chapter 23: Return**

**Ana's POV**

"This was such a great idea! I love Jim Carrey."

Edward and I were currently cracking up to the credits scene of 'Liar Liar' one of my all-time favorite movies.

"I love that he calls her a jezebel. I mean talk about old school words." I bumped Edwards arm.

He looked affronted. "I would never call anyone that."

"I'm surprised with your delicate sensibilities that you even know what it means." He glared at me. I just giggled.

"So what's next? I'm really in the mood to watch something with Alan Rickman in it."

Edward crinkled his nose. "Isn't he that creepy guy from Harry Potter?"

I laughed. "He's not creepy, he's awesome. Did you even watch any of the Harry Potter movies?" At his abashed look my mouth dropped. "I was just kidding! How have you never seen Harry Potter?! It's amazing!" I nearly shouted at him. He held his hands up in surrender.

"I just didn't think watching a boy with a scar ride around on a broom would be that entertaining."

My mouth dropped open again.

"That is so over the line! Don't you dare insult Harry Potter! Did you at least _read_ the books?" He shook his head.

"That's it, we are having a marathon. No questions about it mister. You are going to sit your gorgeous little booty right here and watch all eight movies with me. And you're not allowed to leave until it's all over."

He looked scared and amused at the same time.

"Yes, sir, Sargent sir!" He saluted me.

"Smart ass." I mumbled.

"Ohh, Ana said a bad word!" his voice took on the tone of a tattle tale five year old.

"Nu uh! Ass is in the bible so it's okay!" I shot back.

He started laughing at me.

"So are we gonna watch this Potter dude or not?" he asked with a dramatic sigh. I rolled my eyes.

"So impatient. I'll bet you that you're hooked in less than ten minutes."

He squinted his eyes at me and held out his hand to shake on.

"Deal."

"Alright! Ohh when I win you're gonna be sorry," I taunted. He stuck out his tongue.

I put in the movie and cuddled up next to him on the couch.

Exactly ten minutes later I turned off the TV.

"Hey! Why did you do that?" Edward asked me bewildered.

"Ah ha! I win, you were hooked!"

He looked so surprised I couldn't help the fit of laughter that took me.

"Well dang."

"Mmhmm. I'm still thinking of what I'm gonna have you do."

"That's not fair. You tricked me," he pouted.

"No sir. I tried to tell you how awesome this movie/ series is. So don't blame me."

"Fine," he grumbled. "Can we at least turn it back on?"

I laughed, but obliged him.

We spent the next two hours watching the movie, with Edward in a world of awe. When it was over he barely looked at me and headed straight for the next Blu-Ray to put in the PS4.

I just shook my head. I was thoroughly enjoying our time spent together, especially since earlier had taken a dark turn. I hadn't intended to tell him so much, but I was glad I did. It wasn't like I still struggled with bad thoughts, which ended nearly five years ago.

I was surprised Edward had taken most of it calmly. He was weird about certain things. I know it bothered him that I spoke so openly about committing suicide, but he didn't freak out like I thought he might. It made me feel better about confiding in him for the future. If he could handle that story well enough, he could probably handle more. Not that I had plans to divulge anything soon, but still it was comforting to know that I could, and he would be there for me.

With the thought I snuggled into his side, drifting off to sleep feeling at ease with myself.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Aww that is so cute," a high pitched male voice cooed. It confused me but I let the dream continue, wondering at the direction it was heading.

"Emmett, be nice," a genuine familiar female voice scolded softly.

"What? They are cute. All asleep on each other. I've never seen Edward so relaxed, she's good for him."

I realized that I wasn't dreaming. Both Edward and I had fallen asleep in the living room while watching Harry Potter. Emmett and Rosalie must have come home.

"Come on. You are going to wake them up." Rose commented. Some shuffling sound followed, then silence.

I peeked my eyes open to see Edward looking down at me with a grin. I was laying my head on his lap. We both had been awoken by Emmett.

I yawned and sat up, running a hand through my hair.

"Sorry I fell asleep. How long have you been out?" I asked Edward, my voice husky with sleep.

"I wasn't asleep." He murmured and stroked a hand on my cheek. "I didn't have the heart to move you when the movie ended."

I blushed.

"Oh, you could have woken me up." He shook his head.

"You didn't sleep so well last night. You needed the rest."

"Oh, uh, thanks. You make a good pillow." I said, falling back down to rest my cheek on his leg again.

He rumbled with silent laughter.

"You are adorable. Like a little kitten."

"Rawrr," I pretend growled softly. He laughed again.

And then my cell phone starting belting out Luther Vandross's 'Dance With My Father' which was of course the ringtone for my dad.

I quickly snapped out the cell phone.

"Hey daddy!," was my excited reply.

A soft chuckle sounded from the other end.

"Hey Bells, you doin' alright?"

"Yeah, I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm good, just wondering where you're at." He paused.

"I'm at Edwards. Are you about to be home soon?" There was a great deal of hope in my voice. I was praying he wasn't calling to say he wouldn't home for another few days, or weeks.

"Uh, actually I'm home now. I saw your truck, but no you." He chuckled again.

"Oh! Don't go anywhere. I'll be there in like ten minutes. Okay. Love you!"

He had barely uttered at 'Love you too, bye' when I hung up and jumped off the couch to find my shoes so I could race out the door. I was at the front door almost ready to walk out when Edward stopped me.

"Whoa there tiger. I've got the car keys remember?" Edward laughed at me dangling the keys from his hand. I rolled my eyes.

"Well come on! I haven't seen my dad in like two months."

He shook his head, but put at little pep in his step.

We were at my house in less than five minutes.

"You better hope dad didn't see you pull in. I think I have whiplash." He just laughed and we got out the car.

Dad was walking out to the porch as we crossed the yard. I broke out in a run and tackled him in a hug.

"Ompff."

I may have tackled a little too hard.

"Well I'm glad to see you too sweetheart." My dad said holding me tightly and embracing me.

"I missed you so much. I'm really glad you're home."

"Me too Bells. Me too."

I hugged him for a moment longer, enjoying having the security of his arms around me.

"So Bells you gonna introduce your friend?"

I backed up and blushed.

"Oh, sorry. Dad this is Edward, my boyfriend. Edward this is my dad."

They stared at each other for a moment. Assessing and probably judging.

My dad was a rather large man. Just over six feet tall, broad shoulders, a somewhat thick middle due to my cooking (or so he told me), and tons of muscle packed everywhere. He had thick salt and pepper hair that was a tad too long and made him look a little wilder than normal. He had a strong face, weathered with lines of age and life at the eyes and mouth.

He was pretty intimidating looking to some people.

But Edward wasn't some people. He reached out his hand with a somewhat stoic expression on his face. I guess when you're trying to look like an Alpha you can't smile. Smiling is for sissies.

Commence eye roll.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Swan." My suave boyfriend.

"I don't know about that just yet." My loving father replied.

"Dad! Be nice." Jeeze what is it with men.

He just grinned at me. Eye rolls, eye rolls galore.

"Okay if you two are done being cave men sizing each other up, can we go inside now, like civilized people?" I asked, with a hint of cheekiness.

"Since when did you get so sassy?" My dad asked ruffling my hair as we turned to go inside.

"She hasn't always been?" Was Edward's sweet remark. NOT.

I gave him a small glare.

Dad started laughing.

"I think I might like you."

"Hey if I'm sassy I get it honest." I gave a pointed look at my dad. He looked affronted.

"No ma'am. Men are not sassy. Sarcastic assholes now? Most definitely."

"Oh sure, pull out the old sexist card, women are silly, yada yada yada." We were walking into the living room as we spoke.

"You mean crazy. Women are crazy." Dad remarked. I threw my hands up in the air.

"In the words of some great woman somewhere, 'if women are crazy it's only because men make women crazy'."

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt," he told me. I started laughing.

"Oh God, that joke is so old. I missed you, bad jokes and all."

He gave me a soft smile.

"I missed you too kiddo."

"How long have you been home? I wasn't sure when you were getting back otherwise I would have already had dinner ready." I looked at the time, seeing it was only just after five. I still had some time to whip up a spread. I walked into the kitchen and they followed.

"Just for about ten minutes. I almost send out a search party when I couldn't find you though. You should leave a note if you aren't going to be here." His tone was slightly disapproving, but given the circumstances I could understand where he was coming from.

"That would be my fault Mr. Swan. Chief Jones requested that Ana not stay here alone, and my family volunteered to have her over for the night, just to ensure her safety. We were unable to leave the school until very early this morning and Ana had fallen asleep even before we arrived back here. I did not think to leave a note letting you know she was staying with us. I apologize about that."

It was clear Edward's direct manner and acceptance of responsibility pleased my dad. That was good.

"I understand that you have not met my family yet, and that you may have some misgivings about Ana staying with us, but I do hope to remedy this. I would offer for you to join my family and I for dinner tonight, but I imagine you must be weary from traveling. My parents would love to meet you, perhaps dinner sometime later this week would be ideal?"

I almost rolled my eyes at the way he was speaking. It was odd how formal he could sound. I know dad was picking up on it, based on his expression, but he held off on commenting on it.

"As long as your parents wouldn't mind having us over, I think that would be a great idea." Wow, dad was being nice. He must be impressed.

Edward gave a light chuckle.

"Believe me, my mom will be ecstatic to have you over. She will probably ask me daily when you plan to join us."

Dad gave a small laugh. As if he could understand the level of excitement Esme would have at meeting him.

"Well I wouldn't want to keep a lady waiting. We could probably go for Wednesday if that gives enough time."

Man dad must really want to meet Edward's family. Not that I could blame him, I am his only daughter and this is my very first boyfriend.

"I am sure she would be delighted to have you over Wednesday. I will let Ana know if there is a change."

Dad nodded and looked at me.

"So I am gonna whip us up something to eat, if you want to go shower and change." I told him. He gave me a smile.

"That sounds great. I haven't had your cooking in far too long. Edward will you be joining us?" Wow more points for dad, inviting Edward for dinner.

I looked at Edward unsure of what his response would be.

"I would love to, if you are sure that I would not be intruding. With this being your first night home, I would hate to impose."

Intrude? Impose? He really needed to speak like a teenager from the 20th century.

Dad chuckled.

"I wouldn't mind a chance to grill the boy my daughter is seeing." At least he's honest.

Edward smiled. "Should I prepare my transcripts?"

Dad shook his head. "Great another smart ass."

I laughed and shooed him out of the kitchen to go shower and change.

"Thank you for staying." I told Edward with a gentle kiss to his cheek.

"Anything for you." He whispered back. I had to tear my gaze away or I might have kissed him and not stopped. And that would have not been the best impression to give my dad on his first night back.

I took a deep breath to clear my head, then started gathering the things I needed to cook with.

"So, what are we cooking?"

"My dad's favorite. Luckily I have everything for it." I mentioned as I finished pulling out all the pots and pans I needed. "I'm gonna make hamburger steak and gravy, with sautéed green beans, homemade biscuits, and a side salad. The ultimate country dish…okay not really, but it is his favorite."

"Hmm it does sound good, but then again I've never seen you cook anything that was not delicious."

"I'm not a biscuit, so stop buttering me up." I warned playfully. Edward's eyes danced with mischief as he advanced on me.

"But you are delectable like a mouthwatering morsel that I want to butter _very _heavily."

Was it hot in here? No? Just me then.

"I am trying to cook, so take your seduction elsewhere." I warned halfheartedly. Part of me didn't want him to stop, but I did need to start dinner at some point before dad came back downstairs.

Edward grinned and nipped me lightly on the neck. "As you wish, my dear."

Swoon.

I gave him a narrow eyed look. "Do you want dad to come back down without any food to lighten the intensity of the grilling you are about to receive?"

He just laughed.

"You forget, I am forearmed," he said with a tap to his head.

Ugh, the dirty rotten mind reader. Life could just be so unfair.

"Fine, but just because you know what he's gonna ask doesn't mean it will be any easier to answer." I pointed out.

"True, but if you know the direction someone is heading you can always redirect them." He said with a sassy grin.

The scoundrel.

"Mmhmm. Well let's just see how easy that is when he comes downstairs to you nibbling on me and no food ready."

"Alright, point taken. How can I help?"

I tossed him the lettuce, cucumbers, and other salad materials.

"Make a salad."

"Oh I will."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"You do that." I turned my back on him and began the process of preparing the main dishes.

Edward and I joked easily as we cooked side by side. I even let him help me do the green beans.

"Green bean art huh?" He asked me with a smirk.

"Yes. There is a scientific art to making sautéed green beans amazing. You have to have the right amount of garlic, butter, and then of course the secret ingredient."

"What is the secret ingredient? Love?" He asked with a know-it-all attitude.

I snorted, much to his surprise.

"Not likely. Love is fine and dandy, but it won't win you a blue ribbon."

"Okay then, tell me, what is the secret ingredient? The elixir of life? No, no its tears of a phoenix!" He told me with a grin on his face.

"You watch two Harry Potter movies and suddenly it's all elixirs and phoenix tears." I rolled my eyes. "And to answer your question, no, neither of those goes in my amazing green beans. Besides why would you waste phoenix tears or elixir of life on green beans? I don't want to heal them, I want to cook them."

Edward looked just perplexed enough to make me laugh.

"Didn't think that though huh?" I asked sassily.

He stuck his tongue out at me.

"Careful, next time I might bite it." I warned waving my wooden spatula at him.

"And I might like it." He whispered back, then flicked the tip of his tongue across my lips.

I grabbed my hands in his hair and pushed his lips back to mine. I nearly groaned with the contact. God I loved kissing him. Fiery explosions were going off inside of me.

"Ana," he groaned. I shivered at his husky voice in my ear. "Your dad is coming, we have to stop."

I kissed him back as passionately as I could, then broke away abruptly to go back to working on the green beans.

Literally, seconds later my dad strolled in.

"Oh good Lord Ana, it smells delicious in here. What are you… Oh my… hamburger steak and gravy… sautéed green beans…. I've died and gone to heaven."

I laughed at dad's silliness.

"Biscuits are in the oven and a salad is in the fridge." I told him. "I made some peach jam the other day too if you want to save a biscuit for it."

"This is almost too good to be true. How much longer?"

The eagerness in my dad's eyes made me smile. I'd forgotten how childlike he could be at time. Well not really childlike, but he had a tendency to play with me and be silly. I loved it of course. It made me ache to think about how much I'd missed him.

I felt the tears form in my eyes; I blinked furiously to make them go away.

"It should only be a few more minutes. Actually, Edward will you pull the biscuits out when they are done, I'll be back in just a second." I didn't wait for a response or even look at anyone. I just had to walk out of the room, before I came unglued. I walked quickly to the bathroom and splashed some water on my face.

I was only in there for a minute when a light tap sounded on the door. I knew it was dad.

I opened the door up and peeked out.

"Hey, you okay Bells?" He wiped a stray tear from my cheek.

"Yeah," my voice was a little hoarse with emotion. "I'm just really glad you're home, is all."

He opened his arms and I walked into them.

I loved my dad's hugs more than anything else. They made me feel so secure, safe, and loved. It was a few minutes before I felt okay enough to back away.

"There's my Ana." Dad said giving me a smile. I smiled back. "You good now?"

I nodded my head.

We walked back to the kitchen together. I would have felt a little embarrassed, but one look from Edward and all I could feel was loved.

He was giving me a tender look that made my heart constrict in a funny way. I could feel a blush coming on, but as if sensing my discomfort Edward looked away.

"Well dinner is ready. I went ahead and set everything out at the table."

"Good, I'm starved!" Dad stated before sitting down to eat. Edward and I followed suit.

"So dad, how was food in France?"

He made a twisted face, scrunching his nose up to one side. "Nothing like your cooking darling. They really do eat some strange stuff over there. Really who eats raw snails?" He asked stabbing a green bean and popping it into his mouth.

"Dad, that's not very nice. It's a different culture. If you grew up in France you wouldn't think it was so strange." I said waggling my fork at him.

"Well I'm not from France, and it is strange to me." I rolled my eyes at him again.

"Okay. Fine. Was there anything there you _did_ like?"

"I don't know Ana. I was there on business. I hardly ever left the plant. You know how it is." He sighed giving me a sad look. I did know. He never did anything fun or ever got out. It was no wonder he was starting to look older than his forty-five years warranted.

"Well you should make time for yourself. You're gonna get sick if you keep working so hard. Besides don't you want to date or something? Have a _little_ bit of fun?" I wiggled my eyebrows at him suggestively.

This time dad rolled his eyes at me.

"What do I need a woman for when I always have you harping on me for one thing or another? I don't think I could survive." Edward was smothering a smile. I gave him a fierce look, before my own lips turned traitorous and shaped into a grin.

"Haha. Very funny." Dad gave me a cheeky grin.

"So what have you two been up to?" Dad said suddenly turning the tables on us.

"Having lots of hot sex on the sofa." I said with a deadpan face. Edward's eyes snapped to mine in surprise. Dad choked on a piece of hamburger.

"Ana!" He exclaimed giving me a wide-eyed look.

"What? You won't take my questions seriously." Dad looked heavenward as if for divine advice.

"Dear Lord, what did I do to deserve this child?" He asked mockingly.

"Just got lucky." I replied with a smirk. Dad narrowed his eyes at me. I laughed. "Alright! We've just been doing school work and hanging out. We're pretty boring actually."

I saw Edward's small smile from the corner of my eye. I ignored it, lest it should give me away.

Dad looked at us dubiously. "Uh-huh."

"Well you wouldn't accept sex as an answer." I pointed out. Dad looked up at the ceiling again. Then to Edward.

"You sure you want to date her?" Edward just laughed.

"Well she does keep me pretty entertained."

"I'm sure I don't even want to imagine." Dad shook his head. "So Edward. How do you like it here? Ana told me you and your family were new to the area."

"I like it very much. The weather is much warmer here than in Montana. It's nice to be able to wear shorts again."

"Montana, huh. That's a long ways off. Why did your family decide to move here?"

"Carlisle wanted a change from the busy pace of the hospital and an opportunity opened up here. Plus I think we were all tired of the cold." Dad gave a knowing smile.

"I forgot. Ana did tell me you were adopted."

"Yes, Carlisle and Esme are actually my uncle and aunt." I almost blanched at the lie. But I'm sure it helped explain the resemblance.

"Oh. What about your brothers and sisters?"

"Dad." I said with a low tone shaking my head.

"What Ana? I'm just trying to find out more about the boy dating my daughter."

"It's alright Ana. I don't mind." Edward told me before addressing my father. "Alice, Emmett, and I are brothers and sister. Our father was Carlisle's brother. Rosalie and Jasper Hale are brother and sister too, but their mother was a cousin to Esme. So we are all sort of related, but the Hales are only related by marriage."

"Satisfied?" I asked dad. He gave me an exaggerated sigh.

"Ana I really don't mind." Edward told me sweetly.

"Okay." I said throwing my hands up. "But when he starts to ask how many other girls you've dated and what your intentions are don't look at me for help." Edward shook his head and laughed.

"Fair enough. I've been warned." I rolled my eyes at him, but kept my mouth closed, waiting for what was to be said next.

"So Edward do you have any plans for college?" My dad asked.

"I plan to attend University, but as of yet I am not altogether decided on what subject I would like to study. I may get a degree in medicine or something along similar lines."

"So you're pretty smart?" Edward laughed.

"Dad, Edward has the highest GPA in school." Dad gave me a how-was-I-supposed-to-know-that look. "He's very intelligent."

"Can't be smarter than you honey." Dad told me sweetly. I just laughed at him.

"I don't know. He beat me in checkers." Dad looked shocked. "It's true. He beat me fair and square." Dad looked like he was going to say something, when his cell phone rang. He gave me an apologetic look before getting up to take the call. I sighed watching him walk out the back door. He came in a few minutes later looking tired.

"Ut oh. What's wrong?"

"They want me to come in to the plant tonight. Apparently there has been a lot of malfunctions since I've been gone and now I have to play Mr. Fix It. The good news is they are sending Bob off to France this time, so you don't have to worry about me being gone again for a little while." I was a mixture of sad and happy. While I was glad he was home I knew he would be spending a lot of nights at the plant. Which meant I would hardly see him.

"I'll pack you some food to take with you." I said getting up. Dad gave me a relieved smile.

"You're the best honey. I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer."

"It's okay. I know you're important. Go get ready." He kissed my forehead and ran upstairs. I sighed as I began to fill the Tupperware dish.

"You okay?" Edward asked coming up from behind to embrace me.

"Yeah." I lied. I was doing my best to hold back the tears. I didn't want dad to see me crying. Not again anyways. Edward let me go sensing my need for space. I ignored his staring and concentrated on getting dad's meal together. When he came back down stairs a few minutes later, I had my emotions in check.

"Here you go daddy. Be careful." I told him lightly kissing his cheek. He gave me a sad smile with eyes full of promises I knew he wouldn't say, because he knew he couldn't keep them.

"I really am sorry sweetie." He gave me another apologetic look before kissing my cheek. "Ya'll have a good night okay?" And then he left.

I felt a little rigid, staring at the door where my dad had just stood. How could he arrive and leave so quickly? Was I not important to him? Did I not deserve some of his attention too?

I didn't even realize wetness on my face until Edward wiped the tear from my cheek. I blinked my eyes hard, refusing to cry. Not again. I told myself. I would not cry again for someone who cared so little. He didn't deserve my tears.

But I was lying to myself again. It hurt so much to feel unimportant.

With a movement too fast for me to recognize, Edward had swooped me in his arms bridal style and carried me upstairs to the bedroom. I looked up, his image blurry behind the wall of tears. His lips rained down little kisses on my face, soaking up the moisture from my eyes, his movements wild. I was a little startled. He had been very careful with his kisses so as not to get carried away. I found I needed something untamed tonight though. I needed his lips. I needed the kisses to drown out my own thoughts and find me perfect the way I was.

As if he knew my mind, his lips hovered achingly near mind, his breath fanning tortuously over my lips. Instead of waiting for him to close the distance, I did. I reached up, tangling my fingers in his hair and pulled him to me. He came with hardly any pressure at all, and I groaned at the contact of his smooth firm lips on mine. My mouth parted, pressing little kisses to his upper lip. And then I sucked gently, trying to taste him. Edward groaned in my mouth deepening his hold on me. My body ached for more. My tongue darted out to caress his lip and then slipped between to tangle with his. The sensation was incredible. Heat pooled everywhere. My head, arms, legs, and low in my belly.

I pulled back just a little to breathe, taking in his masculine scent with me. His eyes smoldered as I looked into them. My own desire was perfectly reflected in the golden green orbs.

"What you do to me." He whispered feverously. I felt a hot chill race through me. More like what _he_ did to me. I never _wanted_ so badly in my life. My entire person tingled and tensed needing more from me than I had ever felt before.

I knew somewhere in the back of my mind this was a bad idea. That I was pushing myself too far, yet I would happily give Edward any part of me he wanted if he asked for it. The thought shocked me. Not because I would be willing to make love to him, but because of what that meant.

I was in love with Edward.

When had that happened?

Edward must have felt the shift in my mood, for he moved back suddenly watching my eyes with an intensity that gave me chills. He looked worried and suddenly unsure.

"Ana?" He called to me tentatively. I shook my head unable to speak past the bubbling of emotion I felt in my chest. I leaned forward to capture his lips with mine, silencing anymore questions he might have. I wasn't ready for questions yet. I just needed to feel, him and me as one.

I clamped my hands around his neck kissing him with everything that I had. Trying to show without words how I felt. Edward returned the favor by holding me more tightly and surrendering to my kisses. Our mouths moved together in a dance for domination, tugging, pulling, twisting, and gently nibbling for a time that seemed endless. I thought I might go insane from the exquisiteness of it all.

I pulled away, nearly panting as I took in a deep breath. Edward took my pulling back as an opportunity to explore my neck with his lips. My breathing hitched and I shuddered as he bit, ever so lightly at the base of my neck. His mouth continued to work down my neck to my shoulder. He pulled the neck of my shirt aside to taste the sensitive skin there.

"Edward," I breathed on a moan. He lifted his head meeting my eyes. He looked like he wanted to feast on me, and not in the blood sucking way.

"Ana," he whispered back. Holding my eyes with his, he leaned down to kiss my shoulder again. His tongue peaked out to lap at me, sending tingles down my arm. I raised my arms to grab him, but a cool hand captured them above my head while another touched my waist shocking me into a different time. Another's face filled my mind as it was another's hands who held me down. A ragged 'no' tore from my lips as revulsion filled me and I jerked away from the contact, dashing away to the bathroom to relieve my stomach of its contents.


	24. Shock

**Chapter 24: Shock**

**APOV**

I hugged the porcelain bowl, shaking as I tried to push back the memories. A noise to my right made me whirl around wide eyed only to see Edward standing there with a tight look on his face.

"Ana?" He questioned me. I shook my head at him, trembling on the bathroom floor. As he went to move towards me I stuck a hand out warning him away.

"No." I gasped out. "Please go." I begged, trying to still my shaking. I didn't want him to see me like this. Didn't he understand? I didn't want him to know my shame.

Edward's face went carefully blank and he turned to leave. Then he stopped and moved back towards me.

"No. Don't look." I said weakly before retching again. I hovered over the bowl and continued to be sick until there was nothing left to throw up. Then the dry heaving took hold. I felt my own tears sliding down my cheeks.

I flushed the toilet quickly praying Edward had left. My stomach quivered. Anxious and knotted. I rested my forehead on the side of the toilet. I didn't know how long I sat like that, but if felt like ages.

I started when a cool hand lifted my face away. Edward was hovering beside me, his face strangely blank of any emotion. He had a wet washcloth in his hands now and was dabbing it to my cheeks. I wondered briefly how long he had been watching me.

"You're hot." He breathed. I nodded my head. I felt hot and dizzy and the cold rag felt calming against my skin. He ran the cloth against my forehead. I felt so shaky.

"Here. Drink." He held a glass of cool water to my lips. Gently tipping it back so I could drink a little. He must have gotten it when he grabbed the rag I assumed. I was embarrassed, but grateful for the water. It helped my stomach settle a little bit.

We sat on my bathroom floor for a while longer. Edward would occasionally press me to drink a little. When I finally stopped shaking we sat together a moment longer in silence.

I hadn't looked at him yet. I was afraid of what I might see. I closed my eyes on a deep breath.

"Ana?" The velvet voice called. I didn't open my eyes.

"Hmm?" was my only answer.

"Are you feeling any better now?"

I nodded my head slowly then braced myself and opened my eyes.

Edward was staring at me so intently. His eyes a bright gold and green wrought with an emotion I didn't quite understand.

"Do you want to talk?"

It was all he asked.

Yet, there was a tense note to his voice. Something that edged in bitterness. I was confused by it.

"Not really."

His nostrils flared ever so slightly. An unnecessary action that puzzled me further.

Was he angry? I tried to think of why he would be, but my mind was coming up blank.

"I'm sorry about this. I'm fine now." My apology was weak, I knew that, but I hoped he would be assured by it.

Not so much.

"You're a bad liar."

My head snapped up. He was looking at me with disdain.

I felt stung by the words and mockery in his tone.

"I don't understand. I mean I know I got sick, but did I do something to upset you?" I asked still feeling unsure and hurt. His face was twisted with anger.

"How long was it going to take before you told me Ana? Did you really think you could hide it?" The acid in his tone and cryptic questions baffled me.

He had no reason to be angry…unless… he _knew_, but that was_ impossible_. Almost no one knew.

"What are you talking about?" I asked carefully, feeling as though the words was about to fall out from underneath me. And I was nearly certain is was.

"Do not insult my intelligence Ana," His words were venom.

"I'm not insulting anything, I just don't know what you're talking about." I said unable to control the now building anger.

He scoffed and gave me a pointed look.

"I can't believe I was so stupid. This whole time and I never guessed." He seemed to be talking more to himself than to me, but his words made my stomach clench.

Maybe he did know.

I swallowed hard holding back the tears I knew were sure to come.

"Look at you," his voice was full of disgust, as if I were a bug he wanted to squish. "I wonder how far you would have let things go before telling me. A month? Two months? How long did you think you could keep up the charade Ana? I bet you weren't ready for your secret to be out. I'm a fool for ever trusting you."

I was beyond stunned.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked brokenly, still praying he didn't know. That this was all just a big misunderstanding.

His eyes widened and nostrils flared again.

"The truth Ana. You could have told me about the…_pregnancy_." His said the word with clenched teeth.

I gasped.

_He knew. _

And he hated me.

"How did you find out?"

"Recoiling from me when I touched your stomach, getting sick. The panic attach earlier. It's so blatantly obvious. I'm sure there were other hints, only I was too blinded to notice." His tone was beyond angry, his eyes now black with it.

"You think this is _easy_ for me? That it's something I can just talk about? Do you have any idea what it's like for me? Every day knowing _this_," I made a general gesture at myself, "and not having anyone to talk to about it?"

"You could have talked to me!" He growled. "Maybe you've been pretending all this time, but God Ana I told you I loved you, and you couldn't tell me _this_?"

I was pissed at his insinuation that I had been pretending to care for him. How he even came to that conclusion was beyond me.

"How dare you," I seethed. "How dare you act like I…" he cut me off.

"How dare I? No, Ana, how dare you. How do you even sleep at night knowing what kind of person you are? And to lead me on like this. I wonder, was it your fear that I would kill you that made you pretend to care for me? Did you think if you were convincing enough I would just be okay with it all? Just let it pass?"

"No Edward, I never expected you to let anything just pass." My voice was but a whisper now.

How had everything gone from so great to so horrible so quickly?

"Playing the victim again are we?" His disparaging comment felt like acid on raw skin. "Well I'm done falling for these acts. As a matter of fact, I'm done with you. Don't worry for your life, I'd never touch you or your_ tainted _blood anyways."

And with that he was gone.

My brain tried to understand what just happened. And then I realized. He truly thought any of the affection I had given him was all a lie. A lie to save myself. A lie to keep him away from the truth for as long as I could.

My heart broke. It felt like a thousand shattering pieces around me. I had only just realized my love, and it was snatched away from me with such cruelty I thought I might just fall apart.

I wanted to be mad at him for his quick conclusions and his disgust of me, but given the situation I knew I couldn't. He reacted like anyone would. How could I expect him to love me given my past?

No. I could not be mad at him.

I was mad at myself. At my memories. At this life I was dealt.

I stopped thinking. I showered, pulled on pajamas, and walked back to my room. I stared at the open window for a few minutes, then closed it. I gave up that he might come back. He hated me now. I drew down the thick curtains to block out everything and crawled into bed giving myself up to oblivion.

**AN: **

**I know, short chapter, but it was filled with a lot, so hopefully it makes up for lack in length.**

**Thank you all for reading. **

**More will come soon.**


	25. Knock at the Door

**To the Guest who left the really long review; be patient you are getting ahead (but I'm really glad you're interested!) and I hope this chapter will help clear up some of your questions. If you still have some though I'd be happy to answer, just PM me!**

**A big shout out to my other reviewers FangsandDaggers and Lizy2000! I love the feedback and comments on my writing.**

**Chapter 25: Knock at the Door**

**APOV**

A week had come and passed since Edward left me. I had gone to school that Monday after, dreading seeing him again. I just knew he would give me that same look; one of loathing. But I was surprised to find that he was not there.

Nor the next day.

Or the day after that.

Every day I waited for him to show, and every day he made no appearance. Even his family was absent.

By Friday I knew he wasn't coming back. Ever.

I supposed he had convinced his family to move. Away from the traitor and piece of scum that I was.

The week was hell.

I went to class, skipped lunch, and made no attempt to speak with anyone. I hid in the library during any free time I had. I couldn't bear to be around anyone.

I wanted to escape.

Of course anyone who wasn't present at the dance, soon heard the story about how Mike had attacked me and how I had fought back. It seemed many people were even glad to hear that Mike was in jail for the foreseeable future.

Some people wanted to talk to me, the "hero" about how brave I was. Some took my shying away as a result of the attack and let me be. Others just whispered, spreading rumors about what they thought had happened.

They wondered where Edward and his family had gone, I made no attempt to explain. This spurred the rumor that we were broken up, as a result of what happened at the dance. It was half and half on who they thought left who, although with my attitude more people were starting to think Edward was the one who did the leaving. It seemed pointless to dispel the stories as Edward and I were broken up, I wasn't going to offer details unless someone asked. As of yet no one had worked up the courage to actually ask and for that I was grateful.

Apart from school, the week was still pretty bad.

Dad wondered at my sudden change of attitude. I knew he suspected Edward and I had fought, but he didn't ask. I think he partly contributed my attitude towards the stress of dealing with the police on the Mike investigation.

The chief of police, Mark Jones had made an appearance at our house more than once, each time asking similar questions, but in a different way. I was nearing my wits end with all the involvement. I needed a break. I needed a chance to breathe in my own space without sideways glances or looks of pity or questions upon questions.

And so I did what I always did when I got too stressed to take life. I went to the Cove.

Walking along the sandy shores had always brought me a sense of peace in my otherwise hectic world. But today the sand between my toes helped little.

I stared up at the moon praying... but for what I wasn't even sure anymore.

In many ways I wanted Edward back. I hadn't been able to sleep knowing he was out there thinking the worst of me.

On the other hand I was glad he was gone, glad he wouldn't see me like this.

The mild caress of the November Ocean crept up my toes. I thought briefly about jumping in. The water was unseasonably warm; just a hint of chill that quickly dissipated. But I didn't quite feel up to swimming, so I stayed sitting in the cool sand, my feet occasionally splashed with the rolling tide.

I wrapped my arms about my legs, resting my head on my knees as I watched the sky and ocean.

It should have been peaceful, but I this nagging feeling in the back of my mind. Every time the nagging feeling would arise my mind would go back to the conversation I had with Edward before he left. Something about it just seemed… off.

I racked my brain trying to figure out what it was that was bothering me. But nothing came to mind.

I would just see his face, and the disgust. Unable to bear the memory I usually pushed it away and dared not to think on it; until the nagging feeling came back again.

But this time, I didn't push it away. I embraced it. I opened myself up to the thought and followed it through. Although it was painful.

"_I wonder how far you would have let things go before telling me. A month? Two months? How long did you think you could keep up the charade Ana?"_

Why would he say a month? As if beyond two months he would have found out?

"_Recoiling from me when I touched your stomach, getting sick."_

But why would getting sick be a sign?

"_I'd never touch you or your _tainted_ blood anyways."_

"_Did you really think you could hide it?"_

What did he mean by _tainted blood_? What did he think I was hiding?

"_You could have told me about the…_pregnancy_."_

I gasped as it suddenly dawned on me. And everything clicked into place.

He thought that_ I am _pregnant.

Of course he did. He pretty much said so, and I was so caught up in the past I never considered the present. It didn't dawn on me until now that he could have possibly been talking about me.

I was floored and relieved and yet somehow even more hurt than before.

I laughed bitterly at it all.

Everything was so clear now. And it hurt so much that he thought I would hide being pregnant from him. How could you hide that? If I had been pregnant wouldn't he be able to hear the heartbeat? Or notice a gain in weight? But I guess when you're upset you don't think about things logically.

He probably thought Mike had gotten me pregnant before he moved here. He would read the animosity between Mike and I as coming from that. Or maybe he thought Mike had forced me. That would make sense too given the most recent altercation.

Was that it then? He thought Mike had forced me? And that I had gotten pregnant from it; and was trying to hide it until I couldn't any longer?

I shook my head at myself, feeling the anger start to bubble within. I didn't want to be mad at Edward, but I could start to feel it now. How _dare_ he? How dare he judge _me?_ He hadn't given me any time to explain. He made accusations and ran out the door. The _coward_. He claimed to love me. Lies! All of it. People that loved you should at least give you the benefit of the doubt. No, Edward didn't love me. He was just an arrogant condescending jerk!

I was startled by the vehemence of my thoughts. I hadn't been this angry in so long, I almost forgot what the emotion felt like. It felt kinda good. I was allowed to be angry every once in a while. I was allowed to be justly upset. Maybe it was pointless, because it certainly didn't change things, but it did make me feel better.

If Edward didn't want me anymore, then oh well. It wouldn't be the first time I was rejected, nor the last I supposed. I shoved my feelings down, locking them away behind a wall that held other things I didn't want to remember. I _would_ get through this. I _would_ be okay.

Maybe he had left me unjustly, but I could get through it. I had friends now. Tyler and his crew, and Ang of course. _They_ still liked me.

Well hopefully they still liked me, I did ignore them all week. Yet somehow I could imagine them accepting that I had been through some heavy shit and I just needed some recoup time. They would still be there for me.

As a matter of fact… I pulled out my phone and dialed Angie's number.

"_Hey! Are you okay?"_ Angie's worried voice rang out even before I had a chance to say hello. Her concern and loyalty touched me deeply and I couldn't help the tears that formed.

"Not really Ang. I thought I was, but I'm barely holding it together." I had never been so honest with her and it felt really good to have someone to talk to.

"_Where are you at? I'm coming to get you_." I heard the shuffling of keys in the background. That was it. No demand of answers or guilt trip for avoiding her all week. Just 'where are you at?'

I sniffed a little before answering.

"Old Smith road. About two miles down, you'll see my truck to the left."

"_I'm on the way. Sit tight okay, I'll be there in less than five."_

We hung up. I knew the drive was more like fifteen minutes, but I didn't doubt she would be here in five. I started making my way to the head of the trail.

Four and one half minutes later Angie's headlights came flashing ahead. She really was putting some gas on the petal.

When she pulled in she jumped out the car and enveloped me in a great hug.

"I think you broke at least five laws getting here so fast," I told her with a watery laugh.

She shrugged a little and grinned. "Probably more like ten."

She hugged me again and wiped away some of the tears lingering on my cheek.

"Thanks for coming Ang. I'm sorry I called, I just…" I got choked up again.

"Hey, hey, it's going to be alright. I'm here." She paused for a second then looked around. "Although I'm not really sure where 'here' is."

I laughed. Ang had a way of making me do so unexpectedly.

"Here is a place I should have shown you a very long time ago." I answered and took her hand leading her towards the trail.

"Ana, I know you are feeling down, but I swear to cheese and crackers I will hurt you if you take me somewhere scary." The seriousness in her voice made me laugh again.

"It's not scary. Well I guess it might be a little odd, but I think you'll still like it. And I have a feeling you're going to be angrier that I've never brought you here before."

Angie looked dubious, but she followed me down the trail. When we came out the end to the beach I heard her gasp.

"Oh my goodness. This place is beautiful Ana." I could hear the wonder in her voice. I should have known she would appreciate it as much as I did. "And you are so totally getting your butt kicked for not telling me about this." She turned a mock scolding face on me.

"I know I deserve it. Big time. I guess I should tell you there's more, but I don't really want to go there right now."

Ang nodded her head understanding. We made our way down to the water where I was sitting before I called her.

We sat in silence for a while.

"This place really is something." Angie commented after a bit. "I know this is a dumb question, but, how are you holding up?"

I swallowed a little more than necessary.

"Not so great Ang. Not so great." I shook my head trying to clear it out. Not that it helped any.

"I know you probably don't want to talk, but what happened sweetie? You've been avoiding Tyler and I all week long. Don't get me wrong I know with all the crap that went down on Friday that you might be shaken up, but I feel like maybe this is all about something else."

I loved and hated how astute Angie could be. She really did know me better than anyone else. I had sold her short way too many times.

"I don't really know Ang. I mean Friday was… crappy, but I was okay. I mean not really okay, but I wasn't freaking out or anything. I guess I wasn't so good though, because I freaked out on Edward… more than once. And the last time," I stopped, taking a deep breath, "and the last time he took it all the wrong way. He misinterpreted my actions and everything is just so messed up Ang."

She scooted closer to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

"I'm sure it can all be sorted out. Ana, I saw the way Edward was looking at you, he really feels something, and I think when he gets over being upset, he's going to realize his mistake."

I wanted her words to comfort me, but I didn't think it was true.

"You don't understand Ang, he really hates me. He thinks something horrible about me. We got in an argument and I though he was talking about one thing, but he wasn't and I basically let him walk away thinking it."

I could tell Angie was trying to follow, but with so many omissions of words I knew it was a garbled mess.

"I'm trying to understand Ana. I don't think he hates you, no matter what he might think right now, I really doubt it could be so bad that he would hate you for it."

"Even if he thinks I'm pregnant with someone else's baby?" I asked unable to hold back any longer. Angie's mouth dropped open. And then she started laughing.

"God men are idiots." That was it. No judgement, or asking me if I was pregnant. Reasons why I loved Angie dearly.

I started laughing with her.

"This is so not funny, but thank you for making me laugh," I told Angie. She snorted, a habit she picked up from me.

"It is funny. He's a complete ass if he really thinks you're pregnant, much less by someone else. I don't care what you said, it would take some serious lack of intuition to think such a thing."

I shook my head.

"I agree to an extent, but he more or less accused me of it, and I agreed. Only I didn't realize at the time that's what he was talking about."

Angie sighed looking at me sadly now.

"That really sucks Ana, but I still think he will come around. I mean it's gonna be pretty apparent you aren't pregnant after a few weeks. And don't you dare insult me by saying anything about an abortion. If he knows knowing else, I'm sure he knows you'd never do such a thing."

"I would never say that. I just don't know that he will even be around to notice one way or the other." The sadness seeped back into my voice.

"What do you mean?"

"He wasn't at school all week. Him or any of his family. What if he convinced his parents to go to a different school?" I knew technically this was a lie, but what else was I going to say? That he was a 111 year old vampire and if he wanted to leave, his family would follow him anywhere?

Angie looked as though she hadn't thought about this. Then her face lit up.

"He has a cell phone right?"

I saw immediately where she was going with this.

"He won't pick up my calls or text me. And before you ask, no I haven't tried. But believe me Angie, he won't."

She huffed a little.

"Do you know where he lives?"

Well there's an idea.

"I mean even if his parents did decide to let them go to a different school, which I strongly doubt by the way; nevertheless, they wouldn't have moved. You could go by his house. It might be awkward, but if you really love the guy then I think you should at least try."

She had a point.

Who was I to hold out and let things stay as they were? It was almost just as much my fault as his. If I had only told him the truth beforehand. If I didn't try, then it would mean my hurt feelings meant more to me than him. And as much as I hurt, I would take the possibility of hurting more if it meant there was a chance I could fix this.

"You're right Angie. I should go see him."

"Well go sister, but be safe." Angie told me encouragingly.

"You know Ang, I'm really sorry. You are the greatest friend and I think I've held out and not trusted you as much as I should have."

She gave me an understanding smile.

"I know. But I also know you have a lot more baggage than most people, and it takes time to trust and even when you start to trust you're gonna be more cautious about what say or do. I'm just glad to help. Besides you are _my_ best friend and you have been there for me every time I've ever even thought about needing you. So, don't sell _yourself_ short."

"I love you Ang."

With that we made our way back to our vehicles and said our goodbyes.

I drove with shaking hands to Edward's house. I knew even before I pulled up that they could hear me coming. I sat in the truck for a minute after pulling in, waiting for my heart to settle down.

With what little bit of courage I had, I braced myself and walked up the porch steps.

I reached up with trepid fingers and gave a single loud knock at the door.


	26. Chapter of Life

**Chapter 26: Chapter of Life**

**APOV**

My hands trembled as the echo of my knock sounded on the door.

I waited.

I wondered briefly if they would ignore me. Pretend to not be home. There was no telling what they thought of me now. I couldn't even imagine what Edward must have said to them; but it was sure to not be good considering no one had come to school all week.

I knocked again.

This time an envelope fluttered to the ground.

I hadn't noticed it before; it must have been shoved into the door jamb and my knocking shook it loose. Or I was just unobservant.

That was likely considering my thoughts were otherwise preoccupied.

I picked up the note, feeling its weight in my hands, ready to place it back where it had been, when I saw my name written elegantly across the front.

It was Edward's handwriting.

My hands shook as I already knew what was inside.

He had left.

This was his goodbye.

I sat down slowly feeling as though a hole had just been punched through my chest. I had been so willing to make things better. So willing to open up about everything.

My hands trembled as I stared at the paper nestled on my fingertips.

My mind whirled with many thoughts.

_**How did he know I would come?**_

_**Why?**_

_**Where did they go?**_

_**When did they leave?**_

_**Are they really gone for good?**_

_**Is this my fault?**_

And the most poignant thought of all

_**I thought he loved me.**_

Apparently not.

A teardrop on my hand startled me.

I was crying and hadn't even realized it.

I wanted to crumple the paper in my hands. I wanted to not allow him the chance to have the last word. I wanted to burn the note, spite him by not reading what he had to say.

Surely that is what this would be? His last words to me.

It would be so final.

But if I didn't read it, if I burned it, how would I really know for sure that he is really gone?

But then again, did I really need to read it know what my heart was already certain of?

Logically I knew I couldn't be certain of anything, but I felt it.

Why else would he leave me a note? A note here of all places?

Because he was saying goodbye. Leaving it here meant I would only find it by coming to look for him. And for what other reason would I come here unless it was to look for him?

I pulled myself to my feet; resting a hand on the door that once seemed to be the entrance to a whole new side of life I wanted nothing more than to be a part of. Now it was closed to me.

"Edward," I whispered. "I know you're gone, but I just want you to know… I love you. I'm sorry I didn't say it before."

The wind carried my voice away.

Realistically I knew the words would be lost, but I hoped somehow they would find him.

I gave the door one last glance and then headed back.

My chapter of life here was over.

**Don't hate me?**

**I know; what a teaser of a chapter.**

**So should she read the note? Keep it for a rainy day? Burn it like a vengeful lover? What are your thoughts?**


	27. As I'll Ever Be

**Chapter 27: As I'll Ever Be**

"Ana…Ana!... Anaaaaa!"

"Jesus! What?!" I yelled from the bathroom down the hall.

"We are going to be late missy. Get your crap together." I heard Angie yell at me with a tone of exasperation.

I rolled my eyes and went back to finishing with the last touches on my hair and makeup before I had been rudely interrupted.

Looking in the mirror now, it was amazing how much I had changed.

My hair was cut short in a sassy look, like Penny from the Big Bang Theory season 8. Very specific, I know. The only reason I knew, was because Angie told me so about ten times since I had gotten it cut yesterday evening.

It was a big risk making a major change like that right before a big event, but hey, go big or go home right?

But my sassy cut aside, I really had changed so much. I was often amazed at how much I had grown.

Not physically, well… at least not vertically. Still rocking my 5 feet 3 inches, but I was taller than Angie, so there was that.

But outwardly I _had _changed; my face became more narrow and waist too, much to my delight. Angie and I started doing yoga and some core conditioning that I called 'Hell'. I was still rounded at the hips and breasts, but my stomach was flatter and more toned than before. Plus I could lift some hella heavy weights. Score for Ana!

All playing aside, I realized I looked older, but more carefree than before. Maybe it was the cut, but likely it was a reflection of the mental growth I had undergone. With the time and acceptance that things didn't always work out the way you wanted them to, but that you could move on if you tired hard enough.

Not that I was completely moved on, not that I was completely cured, but I was better.

Or at least my psychiatrist told me so.

Oh yeah, that was another change. I was seeing a shrink. Or rather, I was seeing one until recently.

After some convincing on my dad's part to seek help I had given in and gone to see a therapist.

His name was Bradford Brusthaven.

I kid you not.

His parents must have been odd folks.

It only took me about three sessions to determine he was terrible at his job. So I ditched him, and had the happy accident of meeting Mathilda Bradley.

I smiled thinking back to that day.

_I was standing by a railing at the pier, leaning over to look at the cold water swirling around in circles. I stood there for a long while, only half noticing the tears that occasionally fell down into the icy ocean._

_ "You okay?" A soft voice called._

_I turned to see a small woman, with a crop of red hair, standing there with genuine concern on her face. She couldn't have been older than thirty I thought, with a trim waist clad in semi-professional business wear._

"_Just thinking the water looks nice." I don't know why I said it. Or why I said it to her anyways._

"_What about it appeals to you?" She asked coming to stand beside me looking down into the abyss._

"_I don't know. I like the swirls, the choppiness. I'd never actually jump in or anything, but it just seems like it might be nice to, well… I guess hop in." It had to be one of the oddest conversations I ever had with a total stranger._

"_Might be pretty cold," she said in an unassuming manner._

"_Probably so." I agreed. Then after a minute I laughed. "I think I'd actually rather throw my shrink in right now."_

_She gave me a quick laugh._

"_Have a bad session?_

"_No, a bad session would at least mean he was listening."_

_She gave an understanding nod._

"_So he was a complete ass hat."_

_That made me laugh._

"_Pretty much. I even pulled a Patch Adams just to test him."_

_She gave a thoughtful look then said:_

"'_I thought, if I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon, or at least Uranus. But if I couldn't do that, at least I could use my penis as a pogo stick, and that might be a way of getting around.'"_

_I burst out laughing at the quote. _

"_You said the whole line and he didn't notice?" She asked me genuinely, partly amused and partly concerned. _

"_Yeah. He just nodded and then asked me how I felt. At least I got a laugh out of it. They do say laughter is the best medicine." There wasn't as much humor in my voice now though. I really could have used someone to talk to. _

"_I think that depends on the ailment. Wouldn't be much help to a patient with internal bleeding."_

"_But how you do determine who has internal bleeding?" _

_The lady gave me once over then pulled a card out of her pocket and handed it to me._

_I read it aloud._

"'_Let Us Listen. Mathilda Bradley, PhD. Mental Health Consultant'" I stared at the card for a moment. "Mental Health Consultant?" I questioned._

_She shrugged. "Psychiatrist tends to make people feel like they're being psychoanalyzed. Or that they are psychotic. It's a good neutral term."_

_I nodded agreeing._

"_Give me twenty minutes next Monday at 2 O' clock and I'll let you know."_

_It took me a moment to grasp what she meant. If I had internal bleeding or not._

"_Okay." I said. _

_She gave a friendly goodbye and walked away._

"Hmmhmm!"

I was brought out of my thoughts by the noise. I turned to find Angie staring at me.

"What? I'm almost done I swear." I laughed fluffing the ends of my hair.

"Mmmhmm, you said that ten minutes ago. Do you want to be late?"

"Hmmm," Angie slapped me playfully at my mock contemplation. "Just kidding, Ang. I'm ready, Freddy!"

That got a giggle out of her. We headed down stairs in a rush.

"Dad! We are ready to go," I called out.

My dad came strolling out of the kitchen. He looked so handsome in a suit.

"Look at you! You should change your name to Mr. Spiffy!"

He rolled his eyes, but gave me a soft smile.

"You look gorgeous Ana. Absolutely stunning."

The sincerity in his voice made my eyes water.

"No! Stop! Don't make her cry, she'll ruin her makeup and we don't have time to fix it," Angie shouted.

We all laughed, but it did keep the tears at bay.

"Well I guess we better get going then."

"Do I detect a hint of nervousness?" Angie teased.

"Well you know how I feel about being the center of attention… and heels," at least that hadn't changed, "and I can already see myself doing a face plant in front of everyone. Are you sure I can't change them?" I asked looking down at the heels worriedly.

"No more wardrobe changes!" She told me with a wagging finger.

"Fine, but if I fall just remember whose fault it will be."

She rolled her eyes at me again then pulled me out the door.

Our drive was a short one. When we pulled up I could see so many cars. It was packed. People were everywhere, last minute adjustments had to be made I supposed. We pulled up from the back away from the bustle. I was grateful for it. I was nervous enough as it was.

Angie hopped out of the car with little reserve, I was more hesitant. It was to be expected though. It was a big day.

"Ana, you are going to be fine." She gave me a reassuring hand squeeze. "I have to go, but I swear if you don't come out I will come get you. And you better be prepared to meet your maker!" She warned ferociously.

I gave dad a look.

He laughed but walked me towards the building, holding my hand tightly.

I could hear the music begin. I would be heading down the long hall; all eyes would be on me.

"Ana," I looked up at dad. "I just want you to know how proud I am of you and all that you have accomplished."

I felt my cheeks glowing hot with pleasure and embarrassment.

"And I am just so happy for you." My daddy started tearing up. It made my eyes water too.

"Thanks Daddy, I love you."

"I love you too sweet heart. Are you ready?"

With a nervous nod I took a step forward.

"As I'll ever be."

**Another semi-short chapter with a slight cliff hanger..hahaha**

**I hope you are enjoying the story thus far!**

**Don't worry, more to come soon.**


	28. Friends

**Chapter 28: Friends**

There was a slight ringing in my ears as I stepped out in front of the crowd making my way to the podium. I could feel my nervousness increase tenfold and whished dad was still standing by my side. Unfortunately he could only walk me so far before he too had to take his seat.

Taking a deep breath I looked out across the crowd seeing the familiar faces smiling back at me.

"Goodbye," I began. A few people looked confused, it made my lips quirk.

"**Goodbye.**

**An odd way to begin a speech,**

**but I find this word is most appropriate given its reach. **

**We are leaving behind the lives we know,**

**to seek new adventures and begin to grow.**

**So it is with a great sigh that I say goodbye, **

**but my speech isn't done so don't yet cry."**

People were starting to catch on and more smiles were breaking out. It gave me courage.

"**Gone are the days spent in class,**

**watching and waiting for the ticking hands to pass,**

**When the opening bell rang,**

**away we sprang**

**Off to homeroom we ran,**

**afraid of a tardy, from Miss Nan."**

Miss Nan, the front office attendant, was nodding her head and grinning. She had dealt out more tardy slips then she could probably count. She was a really sweet lady though.

"**But homeroom was fun with Mr. Vice,**

**Unless you fell asleep,**

**Then you'd pay the price.**

**Off to detention, with Mrs. Jackson,**

**Our leading lady, of disciplinary action."**

A few chuckles sounded in the audience, probably from students that had felt the wrath of Mrs. Jackson.

"**Then first period came,**

**If you had Mrs. Todd**

**Acting was your game,**

**And it was rather odd.**

**Or perhaps Mr. Varner,**

**Where you learned to write**

**Bad poetry it seems**

**I apologize, alright?"**

More chuckles rang out at that, including Mr. Varner himself who was looking at me proudly.

"**As the day moved on**

**You might have had Mrs. Harper**

**Who taught us all science,**

**And made our minds much sharper.**

**And you can't forget Mr. Briggs,**

**And oh, I felt his wrath**

**Because, come on, he taught Trig**

**But at least I learned math."**

"**There are so many great teachers**

**Sitting here today**

**Waiting to say goodbye**

**And shove us out the way**

**They have new pupils to teach**

**So it's time for us to let go**

**And find new goals to reach"**

"**But before we part**

**I have a few more memories to share**

**Baseball nights in the field **

**Where we cheered without a care**

**Sleepovers galore**

**where we whispered and played**

**talking about boys **

**and each other's hair we did braid.**

"**We all made our best friends**

**Who stood by our side**

**When we were right and wrong**

**And for us would have died.**

**I count myself lucky to know such a gal**

**Come on stand up Angie **

**And take a deep bow.**

Angie was sitting in the front row eyes all teary. She stood and gave me a bow, many people applauded.

"**For all my other friends**

**Sitting here today**

**I thank you as well**

**For taking me in.**

**You each gave me something special to take**

**With me on my journeys**

**When I leave this place.**

**Tyler you gave me hope**

**With a girls first kiss**

Some girls snickered. I could tell Tyler was blushing from the audience.

**Sarah gave me sass**

**And Jess gave me wit**

They gave each other high fives.

**Seth and Embry gave me many laughs**

**Erik let me know**

**It's okay to let the inner nerd to show**

**You have all touched my heart**

**My mind and soul**

**So I hope I never leave yours**

**when you go**

All of my friends let out big whooping cheers and a few 'We love you's'. It made me smile.

**Now let me bring this to a close,**

**Long speeches are not fun**

**So I will leave you shortly**

**Lest you hang me from my toes.**

**I remind you now these days are leaving us behind,**

**We must move forward**

**To higher places we should climb.**

**I encourage you all **

**Don't let this be the end**

**Of your learning, of your dreaming**

**Of your will to begin."**

"**So now to wrap it all up**

**In a nice little bow**

**I will leave you all**

**With a big warm**

**Hello."**

Cheering and clapping broke out as I took my place with the others it the crowd. The students near me shook my hand and others gave me a hug.

I felt a rush of excitement. I had been so nervous about delivering my poem, that people would laugh, or rather there would be no emotion at all. I was relieved that it seemed my words touched at least some people, even if it was mediocre poetry at its best.

The next forty-five minutes whirled by. I barely registered walking across the stage and getting the diploma. Now that it was all practically over I could hardly believe I was done with high school.

As we proceeded out of the building and into the greetings of friends and family I felt a sense of contentment. My last few years here had been a mixture of sad and the greatest happiness I had ever known.

I would miss it, but I was taking my own words to heart.

Time to move on to other things.

"Ana! You are so freaking sweet. I loved your poem!" Jess and Sarah told me grabbing me in a huge hug.

"I loved that you called Tyler out! I didn't know he could turn so red." Seth told me jokingly. Tyler overheard as he made his way over.

"Yeah, thanks for that. It's a good thing my girl isn't a jealous one."

Angie popped over in circle and laughed.

"I am jealous. You got to kiss Ana." She exclaimed. We all laughed.

"Well I have plenty of kisses for you Ang my love," and with that I scooped her up and kissed her smack on the lips.

"Whaaaaatttttt!" Embry called out. Seth hooted.

I smacked him on the shoulder. The girls giggled.

"She's my woman. Go get your own," Tyler claimed grabbing Angie to him.

I just laughed.

"So who wants to party?!"

We all cheered.

"Really though. I am so ready for a swimming pool and BBQ. We still on for your place Tye-Tye?" He rolled his eyes at my nick name for him.

"Duh."

"Well what are we waiting for?

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Remind me why we didn't have more parties here in the past?" I asked aloud while floating in the pool with a coke in my hand.

"We had a party here at least twice a month, you goose," Angie told me as she splashed me with water.

"I know, that's really not that much when you consider how much fun this is," I pointed out flicking water back at her.

"Well I guess we will just have to make up for it this summer then," Tyler said. Everyone nodded agreeing, except me.

"Actually, I've been meaning to tell you all something." With an opener like that you can imagine the surprise on their faces.

"You're pregnant!" Embry declared.

"What? She is so not pregnant you dolt!" Sarah told him smacking his arm. He rubbed it as if it must have hurt.

I just laughed.

"No I'm not pregnant. But I won't be here this summer." I think that got more attention than Embry's 'you're pregnant' bit.

"What do you mean you won't be here?" Angie asked me confused.

"I'm going on a trip. To Europe. Well actually its not really a trip so much as that I will be going to college there." I think I could have heard a pin drop.

"What?"

"Where?"

"When do you leave?"

"How long will you be gone?"

"Drink lots of foreign beer!"

Everyone turned to look at Seth.

"What I'm just trying to be supportive?" That got a laugh out of some of them.

"Seriously Ana, when did all this happen?" Angie asked. I could tell she was hurt that I hadn't talked to her about it sooner.

"Well to answer your questions in order, I will be studying in Ireland, specifically in Dublin. It's a coastal place. I leave in less than two weeks and I will be gone for a few years, depending on how long it takes me to do my undergraduate. I will drink foreign beer if I am old enough. And as to when all of this happened?" I took a deep breath.

"Well I've been wanting to experience life a little bit more. I love it here, but there's a lot of opportunity out there. So earlier this year I started looking into different programs and emailing people. When I came across the place in Dublin it just seemed right. I found out about a month ago that I was accepted and it's only been two weeks that I found out I was leaving this summer. Apparently one of the faculty there really liked my resume and wanted me to start doing research with them immediately." I told them in an excited rush.

"I really would have told you sooner, but I just didn't realize how soon I was going to be leaving. I thought I was going in the fall, but they offered me a full scholarship and everything. I'm just so excited." I said bubbling over.

They were all very happy for me.

"I am so mad you didn't tell me, but I am also so very happy for you!" Angie gave me a big hug.

"So two weeks?" Erik asked. I nodded my head. "Well I guess we better wear you out with fun!"

Everyone laughed and agreed. We started making plans for us to all hang out almost every day before I had to leave, starting with tonight. The girls and I made plans for a slumber party after we ditched the boys closer to midnight.

We had such a great day.

Looking around at my girls now I realized how much I was going to miss them. I smiled watching Jess braid Angie's hair while Sarah sang painting her toenails.

"So, Ana," I looked at Jess as she called my name. "I know we kinda have an unspoken pact not to talk about it, but I was wondering, what ever happened to you and Edward?"

The question caught me completely by surprise.

It would be a lie to say I hadn't thought about Edward. I thought of him every day. Every day I longed for him. I wished on countless stars for him to come back to me for well over a year. I knew without a shadow of a doubt he was 'The One', even though I also knew I would never see him again. What could I say? I have a loyal heart.

"What exactly did you want to know?" I asked carefully.

Jess looked thoughtful.

"I mean they just kinda up and left out of the blue. They weren't even here for that long. I don't know, you never talked about it and I always wondered. You seemed like you really like him."

I wasn't sure what story the Cullen's would have used so I opted for honesty.

"To be honest I don't know why they left. All I know is that Edward and I got in a big fight the same weekend Mike attacked me. I'm not saying they moved because of me, but I honestly don't know what else would have motivated it."

Sarah looked pissed on my behalf.

"If they left because Mike attacked you then that is seriously messed up. I mean he is in prison for it."

A reality for which I was very grateful. I had my doubts there for a few months, but when his court day came, the judge certainly didn't side with money and power. I would always feel indebted to Judge Hurst for that.

"I don't know. Like I said we had a fight the same weekend, and it was a pretty bad fight." It was sad to think back to that night. Our last words exchanged were devastating.

"But I don't know if that was the reason or if something else came up and they had to leave because of it. Could have been a coincident I guess."

They didn't look like they bought that. I supposed I wouldn't either if I was in their shoes.

"So he didn't say goodbye or anything?" Angie asked me. We never talked about the night. All she knew was the one text I sent her after I tried to find Edward, saying he wasn't home.

"Well, he left me a note." I hesitated not sure what to say.

"What? What did it say?" Sarah asked.

I shrugged. Then got up and pulled the note out of my favorite copy of Jane Eyre. I handed the envelope to her.

She turned it over in her hand and gasped at me.

"You never opened it?"

I shook my head and sat down. She handed the note back to me.

"I was afraid to read what it said. When we last spoke… it was pretty awful. I was scared that if I read the letter it would just say he never wanted to see me again or that he didn't love me anymore." I almost teared up. I tried not to think of that night. I usually only thought about the good stuff, brief as it had been.

"Ana you have to read this," Jess told me.

"Why? He's been gone for going on two years. What difference would it make now?"

"Closure?" Angie offered.

"It wouldn't be closure though. No matter what it says I would still want to know more. If it says he loves me it doesn't change that he left and never tried to contact me again. And it would just hurt that much more. And if it says he hates me then I really don't want to know that either." She looked at me sadly.

"You don't think he might have explained at least something?" Sarah asked.

"Probably, but I know Edward and anything he said would be cryptic. It would leave me with more questions and this need to find out. I know I'm not over him, I don't think I will ever be, but I'm in a good place not knowing. I don't have extra questions or have the false hope that he might still love me."

"Ana, I think you should read it. You said you aren't over him, but I think it's more than that. You're still madly in love with him aren't you?"

I couldn't lie to my girls so I nodded my head.

"I am. Which is why I can't read it. It will break me either way. Right now I know he doesn't want me, reading it would just be painful, and if by some miracle it said the opposite it would kill me wondering why he left without saying goodbye or telling me where he was going."

They seemed to understand a little better, but I could tell they thought I should still read it.

"You won't be able to move on if you don't read it. You say you don't want it to give you false hope, but you already have false hope. Even if you don't admit it, until you know for certain that he doesn't have feelings for you, you are going to always wonder."

She was probably right, but it would be so painful.

"How about this," Jess began, "Take the letter with you to Ireland, when you get there forget about the letter and Edward, if you can, have a good time. Open yourself up to people, especially of the male persuasion. If you can do that, if you can start seeing someone else then I agree you don't need to read it. Burn it, throw it into the ocean, whatever. But if you realize you really can't move on, that your mind keeps coming back, you should read the letter."

I wasn't sure if I agreed with this line of thought, but I supposed it did have some validity. The only issue was I already knew I wasn't going to be able to see anyone else. No matter how hard I tried Edward was always going to be in my heart. But I guess that was the point. If I felt that way after really trying then I needed the closure the letter might bring.

So what else was I to do, but agree?

"Okay, I will try. I promise to try really hard to get over Edward and if I can't I will read the letter."

They looked satisfied with my answer.

"Okay I just have one more question before I let this drop," Sarah said with a grin. I wasn't sure where this was going. "Did you and Edward ever… ya know," she made a clicking sound.

I blushed bright red and shook my head.

"No, definitely not."

She looked disappointed.

"Then honey, why are you so attached?"

It was hard for me to explain.

"Because he was the one," I said simply. "I could feel it Sarah. It was like everything in the universe was right; it all just fell into place. It was more than lust or attraction, while there certainly was some of that, it was more. I didn't just _want_ him, I was just content for him to hold me. He could really see my soul."

They all looked teary eyed.

"God Ana, that is the sweetest, saddest thing ever. I could kick his butt for leaving you." Jess said giving me a warm hug.

"I could too, but I try to think about the good times and I also remind myself I have some pretty awesome friends that make up for my lack of sex life." They all laughed.

"Oh boy are you missing out though," Jess sighed dramatically.

"Ya hussy," I teased. She giggled.

"I'm serious. Sex is… mmmmhmmm yes please more thank you more please yes!" She exclaimed.

"Do we need to call your man to take care of that?" I asked. She gave a dreamy sigh.

"I can't say anything, she's right. Making love is amazing. Although I wouldn't suggest you do it with anyone you didn't care about," Sarah commented. "I lost my virginity a lot younger than I should have, and I totally regretted it. The guy was a douche and I can honestly say it was not fun the first time around. But when Mack came along, it was a whole new story. That man is just… prrrr." Sarah proceeded to make cat purring sounds.

"Wow all of you are hormone crazed. Angie, tell me you're not on the bandwagon too?"

She blushed bright red.

"I will chop Tyler's balls off if he hurts you," I warned.

She laughed. "He most certainly does not hurt me." She sighed. I made a pretend gag noise. "What? He's really gentle. I mean I don't think anyone's first time is glamorous, but he was just so sweet. He kept asking if I was okay. And when it started to hurt he just stopped. He said he couldn't do it, he didn't want to hurt me."

"Angie that is adorable!" Jess called.

"He better not hurt you or I will hurt him." I warned again. Angie play slapped me.

"He hasn't. Once you get over the initial first time horribleness it's pretty amazing. I think the girls will agree when a guy takes his time and cares if you are enjoying it, it's amazing." The girls hummed in agreement.

"Okay, where do I sign up for mind blowing sex?" I asked teasingly. They laughed.

"You're so innocent Ana. It's really funny because out of all of us you are the most responsible and adult like." Jess commented. I stuck my tongue out at her. "I retract my statement. You are such a five year old."

We continued to laugh and tease each other well into the early morning.

I was so glad to have them, and yet I ached to have what they all had. Love. Real true love, with someone that cares so deeply they would go to the ends of the Earth to make you happy.

I drifted off to sleep hoping for the first time, that I really could get over Edward so that I could find my happiness.

**The End…..**

**Just kidding! **

**I think I would have mutiny on deck if I stopped there. But rest assured don't walk me down the plank just yet, I will be adding more.**

**Is anyone excited about Ana's trip to Ireland? I've always wanted to go; it's on my list for sure. I think I'm going to Iceland next summer so at least I have that going for me!**

**Anyhoo, what do you guys think? Should Ana meet some sexy Irish men? Me thinks YES! ;D**


	29. No Quick Stops

**Chapter 29: No Quick Stops**

"I can't believe it's time for you to leave already!" Angie commented as she helped me finish packing for Ireland.

"I know, these past two weeks have been a blast. I don't think I've had so much fun." And we really had. Every day had been an adventure. We went four-wheeler muddin', hiking, swimming, camping, bowling, karaoke singing, boat riding, inter-tubing down rivers, rafting, and zip lining. I'm not even sure how we managed to fit that many activities in two weeks and still have time for me to get my passport, shop for the trip, and pack everything I needed.

"I am going to miss you so freaking much!" Angie exclaimed tearing up.

"Hey no tears! You can cry at the airport," I teased. She laughed at that. "Besides it's not like I won't be home for Christmas." She gave me a look.

"That is more than six months away! How am I going to live without you?"

"I think Tyler will find a way to distract you," I teased suggestively. She blushed.

"Maybe."

We laughed and carried my bags down stairs.

Dad was waiting anxiously in the living room.

"Are you ready?"

"Yup yup!"

"Well alright. I'll get this all loaded up. Take an extra look around, if you want anything take it with you." He told me before heading out the door.

I saw the photo album open on the coffee table and went to take a look. I picked it up and flipped through some of the pages. It was a mixture of old and new photos. It warmed my heart, yet made me sad that dad had been looking through them.

Angie came to stand beside me while I looked through. We laughed together at some of the shots. She was probably in just as many pictures as I was.

When dad came back in we were laughing hysterically at one shot of Angie and I covered in birthday cake. She had smashed my face in so I smeared cake all over her. It created a huge mess, but we had fun. This was taken just last year.

We looked like babies.

It's funny how life works like that.

"You should take it with you," dad mentioned gesturing to the photo album.

"No dad, this is yours." I tried to disagree. He shook his head.

"Please? I think you will like having it. Something to look through if you get homesick." Put like that, how could I refuse?

"Anything else you want to take?" he had asked me the same question at least ten times in the past hour.

"Nope. I've got everything I need. Plus I won't be able to carry anything else." We all laughed. I really hadn't packed that much, but I was going to have to carry it all by myself so it would be a lot.

"Alrighty. Lets go!"

We headed out.

The drive to the airport was spent telling stories and cracking jokes. It made the two hours fly by quickly.

Before I knew it we were pulling up; my stomach started rolling. I was a mixture of nervous and excited.

"You girls hop out. I'll go park then meet you inside. That way you don't have to walk so far.

Angie helped me carry my luggage inside. I went ahead and got in line to check my bags. By the time I had made it through dad was just getting inside. Parking must have been pretty bad.

"Well I've got my boarding pass. And enough nerves to blow chunks." Angie rolled her eyes.

"Nice."

"I know you already have too much to take with you, but I wanted you to have one more thing," dad announced revealing a large package behind his back.

"You didn't!"

I muttered already knowing what it was. How could I not? The packaging was blatantly obvious.

"Go on. Open it."

My hand trembled as I pulled the brown paper away.

I opened the black case, my excitement building.

Sitting before me was my very own acoustic guitar.

It was beautiful.

A mat darker chestnut brown on the body that faded to a lighter brown near the sound hole and bridge. The binding was a simple beige that complimented the coloration.

I trailed my fingers on the wood reveling in the soft wooden texture.

It didn't matter that it was simple; that was how I liked things. Perfectly simple.

I enveloped my dad in a big hug. A few tears escaped.

"I thought you should have a nice one while you were away so you could practice. My only rule is that you have to write and play me a song when you come back for Christmas."

I was nearly speechless.

"Thank you so much daddy. I will write you a hundred songs if you want," and then I laughed.

It really touched my heart. It was such a thoughtful gift. I snapped the case back closed and held on to it tightly.

"Angie helped me pick it out."

I turned to give her a hug as well.

"I can't believe you managed to hide it from me." We all laughed. I was notorious for finding things that I wasn't supposed to see yet. I had only ruined my past birthday and Christmas surprises, by accidentally finding my gift while cleaning the house or looking for something.

"We kept it at my house this time." Angie told me smiling.

"I really don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything sweetheart. I've been wanting to get you a new guitar since that old one wouldn't stay tuned. You practice every day. You deserve to have a nice instrument."

"Still… I love it. This is amazing and I am going to think of you both every time I play."

"Good!" Angie told me with a playful nudge.

"Well you better get going. You have a plane to board and getting through the security line may take a while."

I nodded my head. Close to spilling more tears.

"You better Skype me at least once a day!" Angie told me with a stern face.

"You do realize I will be five hours ahead of you right?" She gave me a thoughtful frown. "How about I Skype you as often as I can, and in the meantime I will send you plenty of pictures and videos on Snapchat?" I had only recently been made to get the Snapchat App. Angie loved it and used it all the time.

She perked up at my offer.

"Deal!" She grabbed me in a big hug. "I'm gonna miss you sister."

"You too Ang. You too."

I turned to dad. He had a sheen of tears in his eyes.

"Don't cry."

"I'm just gonna miss my baby girl. Feels like I only just started to get to know you again." Which was partly true. Since Mike's attack a year and a half ago, dad stopped leaving the country except for very short trips. He never left me home more than a few days at a time. And those trips only happened every few months.

We started to do a lot more together. We took trips, which Angie and sometimes the other girls came on. We ate together nearly every night and did things together on the weekends. It had been a learning process, and a wonderful happy time as well.

"I'm gonna miss you too daddy. I'll send pictures and call as often as I can."

He nodded then hugged me as if he'd never see me again. I laughed when he gave a super big squeeze.

"I'm dying!" I squeaked. He laughed and let me go.

"Okay. Well you better go before I change my mind and chain you to the kitchen floor." I laughed, gave him one last parting hug, picked up my new guitar, then took off towards the security lines.

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"We will be landing shortly. Please return to your seats and buckle up."

I sighed so ready to be off the plane. It had been a very long ten hour flight. I managed to entertain myself by watching two Star Wars movies, so that took about six hours of my time. The other two I had just been waiting anxiously to get off the plane.

I was lucky enough to be seated with only one other passenger, the person in the middle never arrived, so we had plenty of space. I was in the aisle seat, but it didn't matter to me. The passenger beside me did allow me to take a few shots out his window, before he promptly fell asleep.

He was awake enough now though.

"Ready to be off?" He asked with a kind enough smile. His accent was mostly American, with just a hint of Irish. He probably spent a great deal of time in the U.S. but had roots in Ireland.

"Absolutely, I don't think I can take another hour. What about you?"

He gave a hearty chuckle.

"I'm not too much for flying, but I slept most of the way, so I can't complain too much."

"I tried to sleep, but I think I was too nervous."

"First time coming to Ireland?" He asked with a knowing smile.

I nodded my head. "And first time on a plane. It wasn't as bad as it thought."

He laughed again.

"You are in for a treat to be sure. Do you have someone waiting at the airport for you?" There was a tone of genuine worry that made me smile a little. I knew he couldn't have been older than forty, and the fatherly tone was comforting.

"Yes, someone from the school should be here to pick me up." Some of the worry relaxed out of his face.

"Good. Dublin is a great place, but you can never be too careful when traveling to a new area. Especially a young girl like yourself."

The independent woman in me resented the comment, but I had to remind myself that there was truth in what he said. Young women with a limited knowledge of an area were preyed upon. I would be easy to single out if it was someone's intent. The thought made me shiver.

"I don't mean ta scare you. If you have someone waiting on you then no worries, right?"

I nodded, but I still felt a little uneasy.

"If you like, I can walk with you until your people meet up with you. Or I'm sure we can find an officer when we get off the plane." His helpful offer put me more at ease. I thought maybe I should be wary of him, but I usually had a good read on people and he seemed like a nice person.

"Thank you, but really I should be fine." He nodded his head and gave me a reassuring smile.

"Do you have anyone waiting on you?" His smile got bigger when I asked.

"My mum and dad. They've been waiting for me to come home for a while now. I've been living in the states for a long time, and I haven't made a trip here in a few years."

"That sounds really nice. Do you miss it?"

He gave a thoughtful look.

"Most days I don't. But occasionally I'll get an ache to see my homeland. With her green hills and grey skies. She has a way that makes it hard not to think back."

There was a tone of mystery and love that I could relate to. There was something about your home, what you grew up with, that called to you more than any other area. I knew I would miss my home like crazy.

"I can't wait to experience Ireland. I can hardly believe I'm here."

He chuckled again.

"Aye, you're a right cheerful lad, aren't ya?" He slipped into a slightly stronger accent that made me laugh.

"Indeed, I am." I returned in a poor imitation of him. It got a laugh though.

"Ye keep that up an you'll be talkin' like ye were born 'ere."

We laughed again.

We didn't speak much more after that, due to the fact we were starting to land.

The excitement in my stomach was turning it upside down and inside out. I was just so ready to begin my adventure here. There was so much I was ready to see and do. To start living a new life.

Not that my old life was bad, but it was too wrapped up in the past and I needed to get away from that.

When I finally stepped into the airport, the reality of it all hit me.

I'm in Ireland.

I have no friends or family here.

I'm alone.

The thought didn't scare me, but it did make me feel a little empty. I was already missing dad and Angie and the others. But maybe I could fill that emptiness with experiences and adventures.

With purpose, I made my way out of the terminal and towards the baggage claim.

I was able to find my belongings with more ease than I thought. I had only gotten a little turned around on my way, but there were plenty of kind people to help guide me.

I listened to the conversations going on around me with fascination. It was hard to keep up with half of what people were saying.

I knew that the way I spoke English was wildly different, accent aside, than what the people here spoke. Words, phrases, and syntax were very different. I figured it would take time to understand people without having them speak about ten times slower than normal. I had been watching Irish movies to try to help with this part, but still in person it was very different.

When I was done collecting my bags I headed out to the front of the airport and hoped someone would be waiting for me.

When I stepped outside I was struck by how dark it was, then I remembered I was in a different time zone. So even though my flight had been about 10 hours, I was 15 hours ahead. Making it about ten O' clock at night.

It only took me standing at the curb for about five minutes when a white Toyota Corolla pulled up.

I recognized it immediately, even though it was dark. The school's study abroad program coordinator had sent me a picture of the car so I would know what to look for.

A dark haired boy stepped out of the car and gave me a wink.

"Ye must be Anabella." I was a little surprised. He wasn't what I expected. In the bright light of the street lamps I was facing a handsome boy. Strike that, a _very_ handsome boy.

He was tall with black hair and piercing blue eyes. He had a lean frame that I was almost certain was packed with muscles. Must be the 'Black Irish' I thought with a little humor.

"Is my Americaness that obvious?" I asked with a smile. He laughed.

"A little, but also not too many folks are about at this hour. Also, I have a picture of ye. Can't say it did ye justice though."

Oh dear Lord, the flattery and in that Irish accent. I could feel the blush heating my cheeks.

"I guess it was a pretty bad picture." I joked as I started forward to help load the car. He shook his head and gave me a laugh.

"Don't say so. Ye be right pretty to be sure." The direct compliment made me blush harder. I just shook my head and laughed in return. "I'm Brennan."

I shook his hand. It was firm and warm.

"Nice to meet you."

"Will I put this in the car for you?" He asked getting my largest bag.

"You can. Thank you," I agreed while helping with the other smaller items.

When we were finished, I tried to get in the passenger side of the car only to find myself behind the steering wheel.

"Wanting to drive, are ya?" There was a twinkle of mischief in his blue eyes.

I felt mortified. Of course they drove on the opposite side of the road.

"No, but I wanted to see what it was like." I lied pretending to be interested.

He gave me a knowing smile and laugh. I got out and walked to the other side of the car quickly then got in.

"Traffic won't be too bad, as it's late, but still may a take half hour to get to the University."

I nodded understanding. I was tired from all the flying, but technically it would only be five in the evening back home.

"Do you mind if I call my dad?"

He flashed me a grin that was still brilliant even in the dim light.

"Course not."

I quickly dialed the number, thankful we had managed to find a way to communicate without having an astronomical phone bill.

The phone gave one ring before it was picked up.

"_Ana! Are you okay? Safe? How was your flight? Not too bad? Are you okay?" _He spoke loudly and quickly into the phone. I saw Brennan glance over with a smile on his face. He could clearly hear my father.

"In order, yes, yes, long, no, yes." He sighed. I laughed. "I'm fine. Really. You can stop booking a flight here." That earned me a small laugh.

"_I'm glad you're okay. You just hear so much about girls going missing overseas and I got a little carried away I guess."_

"Well don't worry. I'm on my way to the school now."

"_So someone was there to pick you up right?"_

I laughed.

"Nope, I caught a ride with a on a motorcycle with a man name Devlin. I think he's taking me back to his lair to make babies now."

Brennan was holding a hand to his mouth to keep from laughing. Dad sighed loudly.

"_You kid too much."_ His stern reply.

"Who said I was kidding?"

"_Ana!"_

"What? Alright. Brennan, a student from the University, was sent in a Toyota Corolla to pick me up. We are currently about twenty-five minutes from the school and should arrive there shortly unless he takes me back to his dorm first to make babies." I ended.

Brennan did let out a laugh that time.

"_What did I do to deserve you? You want to give me a heart attack don't you?"_

I just laughed.

"No, but I want you to relax. Obviously I'm fine. No one has abducted me and carried me away to far off places never to be heard from again. I'm fine." I said a little more forcefully at the end.

"_Fine, fine. You're an adult, yada yada, but you're still my baby girl and I miss you."_

"I miss you too daddy. Don't worry. I promise I will call you so often you will be sick of me."

That got a laugh.

"_Not a change of that. Well I guess I will let you go. But text me when you get to the school. And no stops to make babies."_ He warned playfully. I laughed at him.

"Scouts honor. We'll just have to make babies on the way!" That got a groan out of him and another laugh from Brenna. "Just kidding. I'll let you know when I'm settled in. That work?"

"_Yes. You be safe. I mean it. I will come to Ireland and drag you home if you don't call me."_

"Yes, daddy. I have been warned by consequence of death. Satisfied?"

"_Not really, but it'll do for now. Well I'll let you go. Love you Ana bells."_ He used my old nickname. It brought a tightness to my throat.

"Love you too daddy."

We hung up.

I glanced at Brennan who was giving me a soft smile.

"Yer da misses you somethin' fierce."

"Yeah, I miss him too."

"It'll get better. Me mum and da are on the other side of Ireland so it took some getting used to. I only see em a few times a year, but it gets better with time."

I nodded.

"So no quick stops for babies, huh?"

That made me burst out laughing.

"Not today Cassanova."

He nodded his head.

"Good. Cause it wouldna be a quick stop." And then he winked.

Heat filled my face. I think I was going to like it here.

**First off, I would like to say writing an Irish dialect is not an easy task and I have very little clue as to what I am doing. So if you have any suggestions to make it more authentic I would greatly appreciate it.**

**Also, I will be basing the school Ana is going to on Trinity College in Dublin, but as this is a fictional story I will make things work with how I want the story to go and not so much on physical/historical accuracy. That being said if you know something/ want to give pointer I will gladly accept them. **

**Finally I want to give a shout out to my readers and reviewers Lizy2000 and Reedy1012. Thank you so much for your comments and time, I love getting your feedback.**

**-Shadows**


	30. Castles and Blue Skies

**Chapter 30: Castles and Blue Skies**

I rolled over in bed and stretched with a loud yawn and groan before cracking my eyes open.

The slight ray of light that shined on my face confused me.

_My bed is on the opposite side of the room from the window._

Sitting up, I had to do a double take before I realized where I was.

A small room with a large window trimmed in white lace curtains just beside my bed, a small twin. A wooden desk to the left, a tall dresser to the right, and two doors, one presumably to a closest and the other to the outside, whatever the outside might me. Then of course my pile of luggage on the floor beside the bed.

_I'm in Ireland!_

A giddy smile touched my lips.

I glanced at my phone surprised to see it was only six thirty in the morning.

Classes wouldn't start for two days, but I was going to explore today as well as meet my research advisor and, consequently, my Ecology professor.

I jumped out of bed excited to get started.

I did take a moment to glance out of my window only to be floored at the sight.

I forgot, I was staying in a castle!

My room was on the third floor of the beautiful building, overlooking a well-manicured lawn. Some people were wandering around, enjoying the fair weather. I couldn't wait to get outside.

A cheerful set of knocks sounded on my door disturbing my thoughts.

Curious as to who would be knocking on my door this early, I hurried over.

It was my pleasant surprise when Brennan appeared on the other side.

"To o' tha morning to ya!" He said cheerily.

"People don't really say that here," I replied knowingly. He laughed.

"True. Nothing gets past ye does it." He said it more as a statement than a question.

"I'm sure a lot gets past me." I laughed. "Come on in if you like?" I stepped aside to allow him access. He gave me a smile and walked in.

"Haven't unpacked yet I see. This is good. You'll be moving today."

I was bending over picking out what to wear when he spoke.

"Really? I thought this was my new home." There was a bit of sadness. Even though I had only really been in the room less than 10 hours, I was excited about it.

"Don be sad. Yer moving in with the rest of tha research team. We have a house close to tha marina where we spend most of our time. An yer room will be much bigger, with an even better view."

I perked up.

"How far away is it from here? Since I don't have a car or anything I may have to bum rides. At least until I get a bike or something."

Brennan waved his hand dismissively.

"It's not too far. About 4 kilometers. That's 2.5 American miles. But, we all take similar classes, so we 'bum rides' from each other all the time. No worries!"

He was way too damn chipper for me this early, but I laughed.

"Okay well I need to get dressed." I gestured to the clothes I pulled out.

Brennan gave me a slow once over. As if assessing what I was wearing for the first time.

I looked down, resisting to the urge to bite the inside of my cheek. I was wearing my Disney Aristocat's tank top that had a picture of the three kittens on it, with matching plaid shorts. It wasn't the most adult thing I owned, and I probably would have been warmer with my red flannel pj's, but this was a gift from Angie and I really liked it.

He finally looked up and into my eyes. There was a hint of heat mixed with playfulness.

"Ladies don't start fights, but they can finish them?"

He was referencing the quote on my shirt.

I blushed, then laughed embarrassed.

"I have a feeling ye could start a fight if ye had a mind to. Especially if you walked out there in that."

Oh Lord, my face felt so hot.

"Well I don't have a mind to. So I think I'll just change."

He nodded his head. "That would be wise. I'll wait outside for ya."

I managed to get my blush under control before I left the room, warmly wrapped in my favorite blue jeans, blue v-neck sweater, and old converse shoes.

Brennan gave my clothing a once over with a smile of approval.

"Lovely ye are, Anabella."

It was odd, the way he said my whole name. I had forgotten to tell him it wasn't what I went by.

"Actually I go by Ana. Anabella is a little formal for me."

Brennan gave a frown.

"Anabella is a lovely name for a lovely lady. It is regal, and it fits you."

And the blush is back!

"Are you calling me royalty? Queen Anabella does have a nice ring to it."

Brennan laughed.

"Aye, yer highness, Anabella," his eyes twinkled as he said my whole name. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Ye be mighty kind to speak to a mere peasant as myself."

I burst out laughing.

"You _are_ a scoundrel." I said in my haughtiest voice. He cracked a smile. "But seriously I really don't go by Anabella."

His frown came back. Then a mischievous glint came into his eyes.

"Fine, _Bella_ it is." My mouth dropped open. I had never been called _that _before. "Yes, Bella tha beautiful. That is what you will be called." His tone left no room for arguing.

As much as I didn't think I deserved such a lofty title, it was better than my whole name.

"Okay fine, Bella Swan it is."

His eyes light up.

"Beautiful swan. That has a very nice ring to it as well."

I rolled my eyes.

"Are you just gonna stand around all day telling me I'm beautiful or are we gonna have fun?" It was his turn to roll his eyes.

"Call a woman beautiful and she scorns you. Och, never did understand tha fairer sex." I laughed. "I thought we could break our fast with the others, get you moved into your new room."

He turned back to my room to help me gather my things.

"So why did we bring all of this up if you were just going to move me? And for that matter, why did I stay here last night and not in the place we are going?" I asked curiously.

"We weren't ready for ye. Not that we don't have tha space, but they've been doing some renovations for tha fall and they only just finished painting it yesterday. Ye coulda stayed in there last night, but it smelled strongly of paint, an we thought it could use a night to air out. As fer yer stuff, well I weren't sure if ye were willing to part with it for tha night."

"Thank you." He looked at me questioningly as we made our way down to his car. "I mean for helping me with my stuff. And for being so nice. I guess… I am just so excited to be here and this is such an amazing place and I can't wait to jump right in, but I was really nervous about fitting in here. Don't get me wrong, I didn't think anyone would be unkind, per say, but I know some people have this stigma of what American's are like. I didn't think anyone would be hostile, but I didn't expect such a warm welcome either. You've made me feel at home and that means a lot to me."

I knew I was blushing again at having babbled on like that. I just wanted to thank him. He didn't have to be so kind to me and I felt I owed him my thanks at least.

Brennan was quiet. I wondered briefly if I had crossed an unspoken boundary. I tried to think of what I might have said that could have been taken badly, but I was coming up blank.

It wasn't until we were loading my bags in the car that I said anything.

"Did I say something wrong?" I could hear the hesitancy in my voice. I looked up to see he was staring at me with a strange expression on his face.

"Ye didn't. But I wonder about ye."

I felt my eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

"I don't think I follow."

His brows drew together as if in deep concentration. He pointed for us to get in the car, so I obliged, but I waited for him to continue. Luckily I didn't have to wait long.

"Yer not what I expected." He said finally.

I gave a small unexpected laugh.

"What did you expect?" I questioned.

"Smart, beautiful, dedicated." He said automatically. I winced.

"Ouch."

Brennan's eyes went wide.

"Oh, not that ye aren't those things, but I didn't expect ye to be…" he trailed off as if searching for a word.

"Stunning? Amazing? Quirky? Ridiculous?" I spouted off laughing trying to ease anxiety that was currently building.

Brennan laughed.

"Ye are all that. Yer thanking me took me off guard I suppose. I only wonder how sad yer life must have been if a few kind words makes ye so grateful."

I felt a little more than surprised. And here I thought I seemed like a happy person.

"I am grateful. But I don't think that means that I've had a sad life. Can't a person appreciate kindness?"

"They can. But yer thanks was more. I could hear it in yer voice. It's the thanks of a person who appreciates it more because they've been through a time."

I felt my throat constrict. Could he read me so well? Or was I that transparent?

"I don't know what to say to that. Except, I guess I've had my share of hard days, but I've had a good life. I don't think I would be able to say otherwise considering how blessed I feel at having this opportunity. There's not that many people out there that have a chance to see more than the little bit of earth they were born on."

Brennan shook his head.

"That is part of my point. Not everyone would see doing grueling field work as a blessing. An opportunity to get where they want to be, sure. But not something 'amazing', as you put it."

I shook my head this time.

"If someone doesn't think going to Ireland to study fish and learn about a new ecosystem and all of its intricate details is amazing, then they are a stick in the mud. Cause this is awesome."

Brennan laughed.

"What? You don't think this is amazing?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Give it two months of hauling heavy nets, getting rained on, muddy, and identifying fish almost every day for hours. Yer tune might change."

I laughed and shook my head vehemently.

"I was doing all of that back home for the past year. And even though it wasn't every day, it was often enough and it never got old. Being on the river, or out at sea. It's peaceful and the work we do, it's important. We are making a difference with our research. It might not have instant payback or even be widely known, but to someone out there, we are important and what we do is life changing."

My love for science and research came bubbling out.

Brennan glanced over at me with a look of what I can only describe as awe.

"Yer going to make a great scientist."

His simple words made me smile in pleasure.

"I certainly hope so."

He nodded his head.

"Ye will. Ye have passion. That's very important. And to be honest, it's something that a lot of us are lacking at times. You'll be good for our team."

We pulled up to a gorgeous old stone home. Jarring me out of what I was about to say.

"Oh my," I whispered looking up at that place. It was stunning.

"Welcome to tha cottage."

"Cottage? This is a mansion!" I exclaimed, getting out of the car. The place was huge. A large stone stair way led up to the front of the building. It was made of cobblestone and had a very large tower with a conical roof that meshed well with the steep gable roof of the rest of the house. Multiple chimneys were jutting out across the top, and the large arched windows were picturesque.

I was in awe.

I'm sure my mouth was hanging open.

Brennan's chuckled brought me out of my daze… slightly.

"Wait until you see tha inside."

I made a small sound in the back of my throat that was akin to moan of pleasure.

"I think I've died and gone to heaven. This is… extraordinary. It's like I've stepped into a fairy tale, one that I hope does not have a gruesome ending."

Brennan laughed again.

"Is this University funded? I mean this place must be worth billions and billions."

"It is. I suppose ye could say its University funded. It was donated a very long time ago. Someone wanted tha science department ta have a place for scientific research. They believed in tha program very strongly."

"I imagine so, if they were willing to donate this. You'd have to be crazy to let it go otherwise. But how does this work? I mean do we pay for rent, electricity, water, and garbage? Is it split up according to how many people live here or…?" I trailed off wondering how I was going to afford it.

Brennan shook his head.

"Part of the stipulations of tha donation required that they not charge students or faculty. Tha school covers the costs of all amenities just like they do with the dorms, only we don't pay rent. It's part of yer scholarship. I'm surprised they didn't tell ye that."

"Coming this summer was sort of a last minute thing. I wasn't supposed to come until the fall. I only got word just three weeks ago that they wanted me to come sooner if I could. So all the arrangements I made in regards to housing and such I did for the fall and I guess they forgot to tell me that changed when Dr. O'Farrell decided to take me on."

"Worked out in yer favor did it?"

I laughed.

"Most definitely. I can hardly believe it. I mean all of this, for me helping out with research that I would have done for free?" I was baffled. It hardly made any sense to me.

"Believe me when I say they will work ye for it. Then again ye may love that as well."

"Probably." I agreed still looking up at the building.

"Ye want to go in? Or just look at it all day?"

"I haven't decided yet." I said half joking. "Okay yes, I think I should see the inside that way I can decide if I want to sleep on the lawn or not."

Brennan let out a hearty laugh.

"I almost believe ye would too. Well come on then. Let ye meet tha rabble."

I followed him inside, barely able to contain my gasps of delight at almost everything I saw. The arches, the high ceiling, the stone fireplace, the handsome and ancient furniture. Everything was a tiny miracle.

"If ye keep gasping like that, someone might think I'm havin' a time with ye."

"I can't help it. It's all so much. And I want to touch everything." I said running my hand along the velvet texture of a pair of deep red drapes.

When I looked over at Brennan he was giving me a mischievous smile.

"I'm sure there's a lot ye be wanting to touch." And then the bastard winked.

God help me with this Irish man.

"You know, just because I'm foreign doesn't mean I don't know about the sexual harassment policies here." I warned playfully.

"It's only harassment if ye don't want it." He answered.

I had to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

Here I was in a freaking castle, with beautiful trappings, surrounded by a gorgeous landscape, and getting hit on by an intelligent sexy Irish man.

I was sincerely tickled by it all. I was laughing so hard I had to hold my sides.

"What'd ye do to er?" A male voice whispered.

Still laughing, I looked up to see a boy with startling red hair, big freckles, and a pale face. He was standing beside Brennan who had a grin on his face.

"Nothin'. She's gone around tha bend. Completely loony that one."

"Don't be such an arse," a female voice chimed in. A girl with wild red curls came from around the corner. She was gorgeous. Her green eyes shimmered with mirth, and her skin was a flawless peaches and cream coloration.

I was attempting to reign in the laughter to introduce myself.

"H-hi," I chuckled. I coughed a little, but the smile wouldn't leave my face.

"Catch tha giggles, did ya?" The girl asked kindly.

"I did. Brennan made an interesting suggestion that cracked me up. It's a pleasure to meet you all. My name is-".

"Bella Swan." Brennan interrupted. I gave him a dirty look.

"No, its An-".

"_Bella_," Brennan interrupted. "You agreed." He warned me.

"Oookayy?" The other boy said slowly.

"Don't mind Brenny. He insists we all go by the nicknames he chooses," the girl told me.

"Brenny?" I asked. He rolled his eyes. The girl rolled her eyes. Eye roll central.

"Well ye gave us names, what'd ye expect?" She asked him before turning to me. "I'm Vic. Which is short for Victoria. And this is Whealan, but we call him Whea-Whea."

The boy Whealan did not look happy about that.

"Ye do not!" he insisted disgruntled.

"We do too! We've been callin' ye that for months now!" Vic argued.

"Well I don like it! Me name is Whealan. WHEA - LAN, not Whea, or Whea-Whea. Whealan."

"Someone's knickers are in a twist to be sure."

Brennan snickered.

Whealan gave him a glare.

"Shut it _Brenny_," he warned. Brennan glared back.

"Bella is a beautiful name. At least no one will think ye are a man." Vic announced.

"Oh, come on Vic, ye know ye like yer name."

She rolled her eyes, but grinned.

"I guess it has grown on me some. Whea-Whea is still getting used to his. But I think he secretly likes it."

"I do not!"

"What about Lanny?" I asked.

They all turned to look at me.

"Lanny is a nice nickname. Better than Whea-Whea at least." I clarified.

Whealan looked thoughtful.

"Och. Look at em! He likes it!" Vic laughed. "Lanny it is!"

"I didna agree to this," he grumbled, but looked slightly less upset than before.

"Would ye prefer whea-whea?" Vic warned.

"Fine." He grumbled again.

I laughed.

"So I take it you two are part of the research group?"

They both smiled.

"We are. There are a few others as well, but they're all sleeping. Lazy lads." Vic said laughing.

"How many of us are there?" I hadn't heard much about what to expect. I wondered if there was going to be a huge group of us. That would be likely though considering how big the 'cottage' was.

"Not so many really. Of course there's us, and then Rowan, Orin, and Donal. Seven in total for now, but ye won't be seeing much of Donal. He's on his way out in tha fall and doesn't have much time for us little people. Rowan is in our year and Orin is a year older, but we are still a close knit group. Unfortunately it just us to girls. Ye get used to though."

"That's okay. I'm used to a more male dominated group of friends anyways."

Brennan looked surprised.

"Breaking hearts were ye?"

I laughed. "No. Most definitely not. Most of them had girlfriends, so it wasn't like that."

"Ye mean ye didn't have a beau?"

I laughed at the old word, but a pang hit my heart. My beau left me.

"No. You could say I wasn't interested."

Whealan's eyes widened and he nudged Vic. I didn't quite catch the intent. But her eyes widened and she looked me over with a curious expression on her face.

She turned back to Whealan and shrugged her shoulders.

"I think I'm missing something." I said feeling uncomfortable.

Brennan spoke up.

"Lanny thinks yer gay." There was a note of disappointment, but not censure.

My eyes shot up in surprise.

"Well I don't have anything against being gay, but no, I am definitely straight."

Brennan perked up, but Whealan looked uncertain.

"Ye said ye weren't interested in men. We're supportive here. Vic is gay, and we hate her just tha same as everyone else." Vic punched Whealan's arm. He yelped and rubbed the spot.

I laughed at that.

"Well thank you for being willing to hate me equally, but I'm not gay. I didn't mean to say that I wasn't interested in men, just that I wasn't interested in anyone that I was going to school with. I was too concerned with my studies to be interested in boy or girls." I said laughingly.

"No one's that busy," Vic disagreed.

"I dunno Vic. She's taken almost two years of college classes and participated in intensive research and she just graduated secondary school two weeks ago." Brennan told her with a note of praise in his voice. I wondered how he knew all of that about me. I gave him a suspicious look. He just grinned.

Whealan looked shocked.

"How can ye have college classes, but just be graduating secondary school?"

I felt uncomfortable with the praise.

"We have a program called dual-enrollment. It allows Senior students to get a jump start on college classes. So I spent half my day at high school then the other half college."

They looked impressed.

"How many classes are ye taking this summer?" Whealan asked.

Brennan answered before I could.

"Four. She's taking Research Methods with us, Ecology, Organic Chemistry II, and Geography."

"Why do you know so much about me!" I asked grumpily.

He just chuckled.

"Professor O'Farrell had him help choose tha new recruit. He's probably seen all yer information. Cheeky buggar." Vic announced cheerily.

Brennan didn't look bothered.

"That is mildly creepy. But okay. Anyways you promised me food, remember?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Ye were tha one wanting to stop to touch everything."

"Yeah, but now I'm hungry from touching things. And I have a mind to touch a lot more _things_. I'll need the energy to do it though." I said suggestively.

Vic burst out laughing.

"She's a saucy thing!"

"Well we best get ye filled up then." He winked.

I blushed at his innuendo.

"Och. Get a room!" Whealan complained turning away. Brennan and I laughed following him out of the room to the kitchen.

Upon seeing the grand scale of the room I made an intelligible noise of pleasure.

Brennan chuckled.

"Ye might want to cut back on tha noises, or ye might be inviting trouble." Vic told me playfully.

"Maybe I like trouble," I taunted, giving her a wink. She blushed. "But seriously, how can I not make happy noises at this?" I asked gesturing to the kitchen and all its splendor. "Can I live in here?"

"After all tha trouble we went through to make sure yer room was set?" Vic looked affronted.

I pretend pouted. "But-but, it's so beautiful. Who usually cooks?" They all looked at each other warily.

"We don't cook too much. Last time I tried I almost started a fire." Vic blushed.

Brennan snorted.

"No, almost about it. Ye did catch tha range on fire."

"It weren't that bad!" She protested.

"Ye caught a rag on fire Vic, then almost burnt down tha window curtains." Whealan input. Vic looked disgruntled.

"Well it's not like any of ye tried to cook. At least I was trying to do something nice."

"Sure, burning our house down would be a nice treat indeed." Brennan mocked.

"Ye just wait. I'll set fire to yer bed when yer sleeping," she warned him.

I started laughing again.

They argued like siblings or an old married couple.

"So who cooked breakfast?" I asked gesturing to the large spread on the counter tops. There was bacon, eggs, sausages, beans, mushrooms, and a pudding of some sort. It all looked delicious though.

"Oh believe me this is a rare occasion. The Professor wanted to welcome ye with a nice breakfast, so his wife came over early to cook. Bless that woman."

"You mean, they made all of this for me?" A tightness took my throat for the second time that day. I was unable to speak for a good minute.

"Are ye alright?" Vic asked concerned.

"Yeah, I'm just not used to such nice gestures. This is really wonderful. Where is Dr. O'Farrell? I'd love to say thank you to him and his wife."

Vic gave me a soft look.

"A minor thing came up, but they had to leave. They'll be back later so ye can thank them then."

I nodded.

"Well go on, eat!," Brennan said pushing me towards all the food. I eagerly made myself a plate then found a seat at the table. I said a quick prayer in my head then took a huge bite of sausage. I most defiantly moaned inappropriately at it.

I looked up to see everyone staring at me.

"What? I like food." I said innocently.

Vic laughed.

"She's a keeper!"

I moaned again at the next bite too. It was only partly theatrical.

Whealan was laughing.

"Yup, she officially part of tha team."

I liked that. Being a part of a team. Things were definitely looking good for me.

We continued to joke around the table while we ate. I made lots of happy noises which they thought was hilarious. And I ignored them and continued to appreciate the food before me.

"Never seen an American take to our food with such gusto before." Whelan commented.

"How many American's have you met?" I countered.

He looked thoughtful. "There are actually quite a few. At least five that I know of from school. An of course plenty of American's visit Dublin."

"Oh yeah a whole five people. Big number right there," I teased.

He rolled his eyes.

"So when do the others usually get up?" I asked curious to meet the rest of my team.

"Donal is probably already out. Orin and Rowan will be up soon. I'm surprised yer noises haven't woken them." Brennan teased.

I shrugged. "Seems like a good way to wake up if you ask me."

Vic laughed.

"So do I get a tour of the mansion? Or a least a map?" I asked after a moment.

"Are ye done eating then?" Brennan asked with a meaningful glance at my plate. I may have had a second helping or three.

I patted my tummy.

"Yup. You may have to roll me, but I'm ready."

Whealan shook his head.

"I don't know where ye put it all. Yer so tiny to eat so much."

"It all goes to my brain. That's why I'm such a smartie," I joked.

"I believe it." Brennan remarked.

"Okay okay, can we do the tour? I'll call a forklift if necessary."

More laughter ensued.

We wandered out of the kitchen to a short hall way.

"There's tha mud room and the back door." Whealan pointed out the space. It was a fairly small room equipped with rows of pegs on either side of the back door. I assumed they were for coats and dirty clothing. A large sink and a small shower were also in the room to help cleanup before entering the house. "This next room over is tha utility room with a washer and dryer."

"Believe me it doesn't get used often enough," Vic commented, getting glares from the boys.

I laughed and followed them on down the hall.

"There's tha jacks and beyond that is tha Library." Brennan said.

"What's a jacks?" I asked completely dumbfounded.

They looked at each other in momentary surprise before cracking up laughing.

"What do ye use overseas? A bowl?" Brennan said between laughs.

Instead of waiting for them to calm down to tell me what the hell a jacks was I opened the door to find the reason why they were laughing so hard.

"A bathroom? The jacks is a bathroom." I said then started laughing too. "Yup this will sure beat going in a bowl."

Vic was doubled over she was laughing so hard.

"I keep forgetting yer foreign. It didn't even occur to me that ye didn't know what a jacks was. It's so common, ye know?" Vic told me trying to calm down her giggling.

"It's all good. I've heard a lot of different names for a bathroom, 'the john', 'the lu', 'the whizz palace', but 'jacks' is totally new to me."

"Whizz palace?" Whealan asked cracking up.

"Yeah, that's one of my favorites."

"I may have to start using that," Brennan said with a smile.

"Okay so now we are done with the toilet, did I hear you mention a library?" I asked like an eager child.

"Right this way," Vic announced.

I might have died when we entered the room.

"Okay, for real, this is where I will stay for the rest of my life. I don't need to see anymore. Really, let me live out my days here in peace." I told them circling the tall room in awe. It was octagonal in shape, with rows and rows going all the way to the ceiling. There were rolling ladders on the walls and handsome furniture scattered around. Beautiful, ancient rugs were placed on the floor with care. I ached to sit on the floor and roll around like a puppy.

"I think she like's this room," I heard Whealan whisper with a chuckle.

"I'm enraptured," I told him, turning my head back to look at them. "I know there's more to see, but this," I gestured with my hands, "this is beyond words. I think I stepped into The Beauty and the Beast and it's magical."

"Isn't that tha movie with the man bear?" Brennan asked. Vic rolled her eyes.

"He's a man that was cursed to be a monster. And then true love changes him back at tha end." She explained with a tone of impatience. Brennan threw his hands up in defense.

"It's a girl movie. Not my style."

"Don't hate on Beauty and the Beast, I will go beast on you and you will not like it," I warned.

"I'm so scared." He mock shook.

"You should be." I growled.

"Is she gonna jump him?"

"I dunno looks like she might."

"Bet he'd like that."

The voices came from the other side of the library. Two boys, whom I'm assuming were Rowan and Orin, were standing there with grins on their freckled faces.

One was taller with reddish brown hair and brown eyes, the other was still tall, but more built where the other was lean. He also had lighter hair, almost blond, and his eyes were grey.

"Ye two finally make it to the land of tha living?" Whealan joked.

The blond grinned broadly.

"It's still the crack of day. Why waste a perfectly good morning awake when ye could be sleeping in?" His comment was meant for Whealan, but he was looking at me. I felt myself rise to the challenge.

"Why waste time sleeping when you could be admiring beautiful things?" I asked him gesturing around the room in return.

The tall boy laughed.

"Got you there Ori," he lightly thumped the other boy on the back. Ori didn't stop grinning.

"Beautiful things will still be there later. And now I have tha energy to enjoy them. Name's Orin my lady." Oh bring on the charm!

"O fair words are empty. Action is the tool of the truly successful," I countered back.

His brow quirked up as did his grin.

"Words are not empty. They bring promise of what is to come. Action would be dull without anticipation of what has been said. Anticipation can be a wonderful thing."

I felt my cheeks grow warm, but I wasn't backing down.

"Or a disappointment. Your actions may fall short of your words. And then all that is left is dissatisfaction."

He laughed.

"Believe me, there is never dissatisfaction."

I couldn't take it anymore. I started laughing. It was just like before; I never thought I would ever find myself in the company of so many charming men throwing praise my way. It was amusing.

"My name is Bella," I commented giving Brennan a smile. He grinned at my use of his nickname.

"Indeed ye are." Orin agreed. I rolled my eyes.

"So you must be Rowan. It's a pleasure," I extended my hand to the taller boy. He gave me grin.

"I am, although they call me Ro. It's not often I see a lass going toe to toe with Ori. He usually flusters them soundly before whisking them away."

"Then I guess he hasn't met many strong minded women."

Brennan and Whealan started hooting with laughter. Orin gave a look of mock hurt.

"Ye wound me lass."

"I highly doubt that." Rowan laughed.

"What were ye doing before we came along?" Rowan asked.

"They were giving me a tour. And I was contemplating taking over the library as my new headquarters for daydreaming."

Orin laughed.

"Do ye do that often?"

"Daydream? Frequently since walking into the castle."

The others were nodding.

"Ye should have heard tha sounds she was making. I thought Brennan had gotten lucky again." Vic laughed.

Brennan gave a glare.

"Does that happen often?" I asked with a hint of amusement in my voice.

Vic nodded her head vigorously. Brennan was glaring daggers.

"Brennan brings home all sorts of girls all the time," Orin commented cheerily.

"They make all sorts moans and screams," Rowan added in, making Brennan even more uncomfortable.

I was holding back laughter at how disgruntled he seemed.

"Is that so? Interesting," I commented.

"It's not like that," he started to defend.

"Are you saying you don't pleasure the women you bring home?" I asked watching him squirm.

He stuttered a few times and I lost it.

"You are too easy," I giggled. "Hey as long as they leave with a smile, who cares right?" I said easily.

Brennan looked so embarrassed.

"Oh they all leave with a smile. It's a few days later when all hell breaks loose," Whealan put in, enjoying watching his friend be called out.

"What happens a few days later?" I asked intrigued.

"He doesn't call them back," Orin put in. Brennan winced. "I thought one girl was going to rip him apart. I had to pull her off."

I felt my eye widen in surprise.

"Wow, that's… awful. I mean as long as she was a willing participant I don't see what the problem is."

Brennan looked at me with interest.

"Ye wouldna be mad?" He asked curiously.

"Why would I be mad? If I slept with a guy willingly that's my choice. If he doesn't call back afterwards, then that's my problem. So long as he didn't make outlandish promises to me just to get me into bed. But I have a feeling that's not what usually happens, right?"

He looked so relieved. I wondered if he thought I would assume the worst of him.

"If there's one thing we can say for the lad, it's that he's honest," Rowan nodded agreeing. "He just has that effect on the girls. One tup and they lose their minds."

Brennan blushed furiously.

I laughed. "Must be some damn good tupping."

They all laughed with me.

"Okay I think we've grilled Brenny enough for the hour. I still have the rest of the house to see!"

"I thought ye didna want to see anymore? Ye said ye were staying in tha Library." Whealan commented shaking his head.

"Well I was, but I have to know I've made the best choice. There could be even better options awaiting me."

Vic giggled.

"Yer an interesting one," she shook her head. "Well we didna finish telling ye about tha library. There's six offices around tha room," she mentioned pointing out the doors that were on almost every face of the walls. How did I miss that? "The first to yer left is tha largest. It's a collaboration room where we all get together to work on big projects. Tha office next to it is the smallest, more of an individual study space if ye need some peace to work alone."

I peeked into the rooms, excited to look around. The collaboration room was nice. It had a large white board across the back of the room and a large circular table with about eight chairs around it. There was also a few smaller tables in the corners with a few chairs as well.

"Then tha next office is Professor O'Farrell's. It has a small room attached. It's like a storage closest, but he put a cot in there for sleeping when he's working on a project and doesn't want to go home. His office also connects to that one," she pointed at the door to the right, "that's Donal's office, it's for tha Ph.D. student that works under the professor."

"The last two offices are for Professor Healy an his grad student," Whealan finished off. "They never get used. Healy hates to be in an office, an he hasn't had a grad student recently so we sometimes use that office for us."

"Wow. That's a lot of rooms." I remarked.

"Wait until ye see upstairs." Orin grinned.

"How many rooms are upstairs? And for that matter how many floors are there?" I had a feeling the answer would be a lot more than I was expecting.

"There's six bedrooms on tha second floor an then two on tha third floor. Tha third floor is really just on tha one side of tha house in tha tower area, and it's more of just a few steps than a whole new floor though." Brennan put in.

"All of us stay on tha second floor. Yer bedroom is one of tha third floor suites." Vic told me. My brows shot up.

"That seems lofty. How come none of you are on the third floor?"

They got suspiciously quiet for a moment.

"Tha third floor rooms were never used so they got old an a little run down. They were supposed to be faculty rooms, but no faculty wants to stay here when they've spouses to go home to. We've never had so many students as to need all the rooms before either, but when they decided to take ye on we had to fix them up." Rowan explained.

"I guess that makes sense. But if they are newly done, aren't they nicer than your rooms? Why not take the renovated one?"

Vic and Brennan looked uncomfortable. Whealan gave a shiver.

"Bunch of superstition is all. Tha house is old an they get a little spooked." Orin told me with an eye roll. "Plus Rowan and I like our setup as is." He said nonchalantly.

"I don't follow. Are you saying my room is haunted?" The thought amused me.

"I amn't. Vic, Brennan, and Whealan think it is. They've been reading too many stories of tha fae people an get carried away." Orin said it as if he maybe believe it just a little bit.

"I amn't saying its haunted, I'm only saying strange noises come from there time to time an I don't have any desire to find out why," Vic told me with a serious face.

Of course I wasn't bothered by it. There were times back home at my place by the cove that I felt I could feel something more. Maybe they were spirits, maybe not. It never bothered me though.

"That's alright. I'm from the confederate south. Haunted places are a dime a dozen." I told them cheerily.

Brennan laughed, "Of course ye would want a haunted room" he shook his head. "So ye believe in that sort of thing?"

I could tell he was genuinely curious about my beliefs. They were all looking at me waiting for my response.

"Yeah, I suppose I do. I think maybe there were some souls that couldn't move on and they got trapped here. It makes me sad, but I've never felt scared or worried about it. If there really are spirits out there I don't think they mean us any harm. They're probably just very lonely."

"Well they won't be lonely for long," Whealan mumbled. It made me laugh.

"I can be a good companion," I agreed. "I don't snore too loudly." That got a laugh out of everyone. "So can see the upstairs?"

And with that they whisked me away.

The upstairs was somewhat oddly shaped, probably due the shape of the library and the high ceilings in the kitchen. A set of stairs spiraled up to the second floor which was mainly on the south end of the house, above the library. There were six bedrooms off a curved hallway, each belonging to one in the group.

Donal's was first, then Rowan's, Orin, Whealan's, and Brennan's. Vic's was just a tiny further down a short hallway. It wasn't really separated from the others, but it was still further away than the others.

Orin and Rowan's rooms were connected by a double bathroom, which I though was kind of cool. All the others had their own bathrooms so that was nice too. There were a few additional bathrooms and rooms mixed in, but the rooms were too small to be comfortable bedrooms, so they were used as study spaces, or game rooms instead.

As we wrapped back around towards the north end of the house, there was a small set of spiraled stairs, about ten steps total. I knew we were walking up a tower, a very short tower.

We came out to a short, but fairly wide hallway that was curved in shape. There was a door to the left and a door to the right, then a window at the back. I walked over to look out. It was a gorgeous sight. You could see a rocky cliff then the sea. It made me ache for home.

"Ready to see yer room?" Vic asked going to the door on the left. I secretly hoped it was the left door, that made me happy. Why I liked the left I wasn't sure.

I opened my door to be truly awestruck by how beautiful the room was. There were three sets of large windows across the back of the room overlooking the yard and ocean. A long window seat ran underneath it. To my right was a stone fireplace and across from it was a queen sized bed in a beautifully carved wooden frame. A matching nightstand was to the left of the bed. A long dresser with a mirror was to the left of the room. Beside it was an open door that revealed a walk in closet. It wasn't huge, but it was more than enough for my things. Next to the closet was a bathroom.

The bathroom was equipped with a large claw foot tub that seconded as a shower. A small window hovered above; white lace curtains adorned it. There was a large bowl like sink and enough countertop space that I could sit on it if I wanted to.

"I hardly know what to say. This room is amazing." I was truly in awe of how lucky I was. I mean who got to experience this? I was living a freaking fairy tale!

"We're glad ye like it. I picked out tha bedroom set and Brennan and Whealan picked out yer bathroom fixtures. Ori and Ro helped restore the fireplace and did some of tha wall."

"Okay I know this probably will sound really conceited, but all of this was done just for me? I mean that's insane." I was hardly able to wrap my mind around it all.

Brennan chuckled. "It weren't just for ye. Tha whole upstairs needed to be redone. Ye coming just gave us a good excuse to get approval from the Biology department."

That did make some sense.

"Still I can't believe I get to be the first to stay in here. I mean it's freaking awesome!" I did a little dance in a circle.

Orin laughed at me.

"Nice moves. Hey! There's an idea. Let's go dancing tonight! Show Bella around the town and get her acquainted with MacKenna's."

The others gave grins of approval.

"Who's MacKenna?"

"Not who, what. MacKenna's is a pub."

"Ooohhhh," I dragged out. "That could be fun, but I don't drink." I warned.

They looked shocked.

"Ye don't like ale?" Rowan asked in disbelief.

"I've never been old enough to drink legally before." I reminded him that in the US you had to be twenty-one.

"That's crazy. Twenty-one just to have an ale? I'd have gone mad!" Orin exclaimed.

Brennan rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Do ye like beer?" He asked me.

I scrunched my nose.

"Not really. I've tried some before, but I think American beer is probably nothing like what you drink here. I'm just not a fan of alcohol. But the dancing part sounds like a lot of fun!"

"Well it's settled then," Orin announced. "We're going to MacKenna's tonight an yer getting a real Irish Beer!"

"She said she didna want to drink." Rowan shook his head.

Orin shook his head disagreeing. "She didn't. She said she weren't a fan of alcohol, not that she wouldna try it." He looked at me for confirmation.

"Technically that's true. But I don't know if I really want to drink tonight. I'm happy to go and if I feel like I want an ale I will have one okay?" He seemed satisfied by my answer.

"Now that's sorted out, how would ye like to go see the marina an lab?" Brennan asked.

I'm sure my eyes sparked with excitement.

"Lead the way!"

And so he did.

**Yay another chapter down! This chapter has taken me a while to get together. Sorry it took so long, but I'm hoping the length makes up for that a little bit.**

**So as you can tell I have just started making up stuff about Dublin, this has no bearing on the real deal, so bear with me if you have been there before.**

**I am super excited for what comes next….. I want to tell you but you'll just have to wait for the next chapter. It's gonna be soooooo good! At least I will have fun writing it hahaha.**

**Feel free to tell me how you feel!**

**Thanks**

**-Shadows**


	31. Whoops!

**Chapter 31: Whoops!**

"I'm exhausted." I sighed slipping down to the cold floor that felt amazing against my warm flesh.

A familiar chuckle from above made me smile.

"Ye look it too." Brennan sat down beside me. "Ye did good today though. I've never seen someone work so hard before. O'Farrell's impressed with yer performance."

I gave a weak nod. The summer was winding to an end, and I had been working my butt off for the past three and a half months. Brennan and I had grown close in that time. Whether it was circumstances or simply meant to be I wasn't sure, but it was nice to have someone to talk to openly.

It was strange in some ways, I'd had a great group of friends in high school, but with Brennan it was different. Maybe because he didn't know me as the shy girl that always got bullied. He knew me as the kick ass, hardworking, intelligent woman I was trying to be. I could just talk to him about anything.

"Missing yer dad?" He asked offhandedly.

See it was moments like that, when he stunned me with how well he knew me.

"Mind reader much?" Even before the words completely left my mouth I felt a jolt. I had said those exact words before, but to a different boy. I pushed the thought away before it took hold.

Brennan laughed. It was a pleasant sound that made me smile in response.

"I wish. But it's been a hectic week and ye haven't spoken to him like ye usually do. Ye seem far off sometimes an I know yer thinking of back home."

I gave a soft smile.

"Ye caught me." I mimicked poorly. He really got a kick out of it when I tried to impersonate him. "How do you know me so well?" I asked in moment of seriousness.

He looked deeply at me. As if assessing what he wanted to say.

"I feel like I've known ye all my life. Ye just… click."

I understood the notion. He clicked for me too.

"Is it written in our destiny that we were meant to be friends?" I asked with a note of longing in my voice. Sometimes I wanted to believe in fate, that there was a reason for all the craziness. And sometimes I wanted to curse it for dealing me such a painful one.

"Yes," Brennan pondered. He was a firm believer in destiny. He told me frequently that some things were meant to be and there was no use in worrying about it. I wished I could be more open like that. I tried to be open like that.

"I guess I can't be mad about that then. You're one of the best people I've ever met." I told him honestly. He grinned, but a hint of blush was making it's way up his cheeks.

"So did ye decide?" He asked me. It took me a moment to understand what he was talking about. When I did, I groaned.

"Ugh. I take it back. You're a horrible friend."

He laughed heartily.

"Nope can't take it back. So, did ye?" There was a humorous glint in his eyes.

"I'm still mad at you for this." I wagged a finger at him then sighed. "No I'm not going to go out with Ryan."

He looked disappointed.

"Bella, ye need to have fun."

I gave him a glare.

"I have plenty of fun without going on dates. I don't need that in my life." I warned with a little heat. One thing I found about Brennan, he liked it when I was true to how I felt. If I was angry he preferred I show it than stifle it down for the sake of not hurting his feelings. He assured me he was made of stronger stuff.

"No, ye don't have fun. Ye rarely go to the pub and drink with us an ye work yerself into exhaustion nearly everyday. Don't misunderstand, I think yer brilliant and I love how dedicated ye are, but ye need to de-stress some too."

"I don't go drinking, because last time you and Ori thought it would be fun to get me drunk and I was sick for three days," I reminded him with a glare. He had the grace to look bashful.

"Ye don't have to drink. Ye could come just to hang out." He tried again.

"And play babysitter like I did the last three times we went out?" He blushed harder. "I'm just not in to the whole bar thing. We've been over this. I prefer quiet coffee shops where I can have real conversations. And it's not like I don't do that, you and the others just never want to go with me when I ask."

"Alright, I deserved that. But ye really don't go out that often. And you work so hard all the time. Yer going to explode."

"I'm not going to explode. I just like to keep busy," I defended.

"Because when yer not ye think of _him_." Brennan bit out in frustration.

The comment felt like a slap to the face. Brennan immediately looked contrite.

"Bella, I…" I held up a hand cutting him off.

"No, you're right. I keep myself running into exhaustion because I don't want to think. I shove it aside and keep going. And I don't like to be vulnerable." I agreed feeling bitter that I had confided in him about anything to do with _Edward_.

Even thinking his name hurt.

"Bella I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt ye. I just get so frustrated that ye shut yerself off to the world. There's more to life. Yer going to miss out on so much. Why don't ye go out with someone?"

I shook my head.

"Why does everyone think I need to be in a relationship to be happy? I don't have to be dating anyone to have a good time. Yeah, maybe it would be nice to have someone love me, to hold my hand, and to kiss me goodnight, and…" I trailed off getting a little emotional. I was still holding it together though.

Brennan wrapped his arms around me.

"Bella. Ye deserve all of that and more. Ye don't need it to be happy, but ye deserve it anyways. Why don't ye see that?"

"I'm not ready for it." I whispered.

"Because yer afraid of getting hurt again." He said. I wished it wasn't true, but it was. I sighed and nodded my head.

"Go out with me."

My eyes widened.

"What?"

"Go on a date with me. Let me take you out."

I felt shocked.

Brennan had been a flirt and we had spent so much time together that the others thought we were secretly dating. But we were just friends.

"Brenn.." he cut me off this time.

"Go out with me. No strings. If ye don't have a good time I'll drop it and we can go back to hating each other." The last bit made me smile.

"How will it be different than any other time we've gone out?" I asked curiously.

His eyes glinted.

"This time I'll be more charming." That got a laugh out of me.

"Dear lord, I've seen you when your charming. It's a scary sight." He gave me a harsh look. I laughed again. "Fine. Since you begged, I'll go out with you. No sex," I warned.

"Och, I'd never make a move on a first date," he pretended to be hurt.

"Uh huh," I raised one brow. "No funny business, or your ass is grass and I'm a lawn mower."

He laughed.

"I love yer American sayings." I rolled my eyes at him. "Deal. I will just charm ye thoroughly."

I laughed again.

"So when's the date?" I asked amused. Surprisingly I wasn't that nervous about it. Probably because it wasn't going to feel like a date. Not to mention Brennan and I were already so open with each other. I wondered if it would make our friendship awkward, but somehow I doubted it.

"Let's do tomorrow night. I'll pick you up from yer room at seven." He winked.

I laughed again. "So charming," I rolled my eyes. "Alright. Tomorrow at seven."

"Good."

I looked around for a moment, still half resting against Brennan.

"We need to clean up," I motioned above to the nets that still needed to be rinsed.

Brennan groaned.

"Spend all day on a boat hauling nets and traps and now ye want to clean em all?"

I play punched his arm.

"It will stink really bad if we don't." I reminded him. He groaned again, but then we both got to our feet and set to the task.

I may have gotten a little overzealous with the water hose and soaked Brennan.

"Yer gonna pay fer that," he muttered darkly.

"I'm soo scared!" I play mocked.

He growled. I laughed.

I squealed and ran when he lunged at me.

Only I had gotten tangled around the hose and went tumbling. I heard a sickening crack followed by an explosion of pain in my head, before everything went black.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I was pretty sure the constant beeping was about to drive me insane. So was the ache at back right part of my head.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I was going to murder the person who left their alarm going off.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

For a second I wondered if it was my alarm, but mine was a melody not a beep. The beep picked up speed a little confusing me further.

I was tired and didn't feel like opening my eyes yet, but the noise was so irritating.

"Jeezus turn off the alarm!" I shouted. Only it didn't come out at as shout so much as a raspy whisper.

"Oh Lord. Yer awake!" A familiar voice sounded spoke. I was very much confused and forced my eyes open.

My vision was blurry and I was trying to understand what was going one.

I wasn't usually so disoriented when I first woke up.

"No, lay back down; ye need to rest."

"Brennan?" I asked after another moment of confusion, my eyesight finally starting to clear up.

Brennan was hovering beside me. His eyes were bloodshot and dark circles were underneath them. I reached out a hand to touch his face. He surprised me by kissing my palm.

"Ye scared me Bella. I didn't think… I wasn't sure if…" he shuttered and closed his eyes. He looked distraught.

Slowly I was becoming more awake, and took note of my surroundings. I was in a small room. There was a monitor to my left with a single squiggly line moving up and down. The beeping was coming from it. I saw the line running from the machine to my body. There were several of them.

"Am I at the hospital?" I asked trying to sort out what was going on. I looked back at Brennan. He looked on the verge of tears.

"Ye are. Ye fell and hit yer head in the lab."

I reached up a hand to the aching spot on my skull surprised when I came in contact with a bandage that wrapped around my entire head.

"Oh." The only response I was capable of.

"I guess this puts a damper on our date." I commented.

Brennan let out a startled laugh.

"Yer making jokes," he whispered. And a tear escaped his eye and ran down his cheek.

"Hey, don't cry. I'll make it up to you." I rubbed my hand on his arm.

"There is nothing to make up. I'm just so relieved. Ye've been unconscious and I was afraid ye weren't going to wake up at all."

That surprised me.

"How long have I been out?"

He shook his head. "Not quite eight hours. But I saw ye fall. And ye hit yer head so hard. I've never been so scared in my life. God I'm so sorry Bella."

"Hey, it's not your fault. I was the one horse playing. You didn't do anything wrong Brennan."

He nodded his head, but I could still tell he blamed himself.

"So are you here to spring me?" I asked with a weak gleam in my eye. I loved making him laugh, he obliged.

"Not today yer highness. I could tell ye the details, but it might be better to hear it all from yer doctor. Actually they wanted me to let them know when you woke up anyways."

I nodded and waited while he went out to the hall to see about getting someone to come speak with me.

Brennan came back in looking aggravated.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head.

"Yer doctor was assigned to another emergency. They're having another sent up to talk with ye, but it'll likely be an intern. And probably not for another hour or so."

"That's okay. I mean it's not like I'm in a hurry." I watched as Brennan came to sit beside me.

"It's not okay. Ye hit yer head and yer in a hospital. What if ye were seriously needing help?" I knew he was frustrated so I let him vent. But then a thought came to me.

"Just for my own piece of mind, I'm not like permanently damaged am I?" I hadn't tried to move my limbs and the fear of them not working had paralyzed me mentally.

"No, no! The doc said ye should be fine. But ye have a concussion and some other technical things. Basically ye need to rest for a while, but they should be the ones to tell ye that."

The relief was instant.

"Well as long as I'm not dying then I can wait."

Brennan shook his head.

"Don't be a grouch. What time is it?" I asked looking for a clock.

"Just after four in the mornin'."

"You should go home and get some rest," I told him. He adamantly disagreed.

"I amn't about to leave ye alone. The others came by late last night. O'Farrell called yer dad."

That had me on high alert.

"Oh no! Please tell me my dad is not flying out here right now?"

Brennan chuckled.

"He isn't. But only because he couldn't find a flight. I've been sending him updates. Ye may want to call him."

Brennan handed me his phone and walked out of the room to give me some privacy.

Thirty minutes and a blossoming headache later Brennan returned.

"Didn't go well I take it."

"He's upset. He wants me to come home. I've convinced him not to fly out here, but that's still an option. I understand his concern, but I can't just up and leave once I'm cleared to go. He doesn't understand that. This is where I need to be right now."

Brennan gave me a reassuring smile and came over to hold my hand.

"He's just worried. I imagine if I were in his shoes I'd be rowing a boat across the Atlantic to come get ye." I gave a weak laugh.

"I know. I'm just tired and I hate arguing with him. I feel bad too, because I know he's worried. I've given that man way too much to worry about in the past." I sighed yet again.

"Ye shouldn't worry so much. Ye'll be alright in a few more days, have time to recover for a few weeks before the semester starts. It'll work out."

I nodded.

I opened my mouth to speak when a knock came at the door.

Brennan announced it was fine to come in.

"Good morning. I apologize about the doctor switch up, Dr. Cannon had an emergency; therefore, I will be your attending."

The voice. It had a velvety musical sound.

A voice that had once been so familiar in my life.

I looked up in time to see the doctor lift his head from his chart to catch my shocked eyes with his own.

**EEEP!**

**Sorry this chapter has taken so long to get posted.**

**Hope you like it!**

**-Shadows**


	32. Unexpected

**So Sorry my lovelies. i'm not sure what happened. every time I tried to upload my story it converted it to symbols! No idea why, anywho, here it is!**

**Chapter 32: Unexpected**

**AOPV**

_"__Good morning. I apologize about the doctor switch up, Dr. Cannon had an emergency; therefore, I will be your attending."_

_The voice. It had a velvety musical sound. _

_A voice that had once been so familiar in my life._

_I looked up in time to see the doctor lift his head from his chart to catch my shocked eyes with his own. _

I had wondered many times over the past year and a half what it might be like if I ever saw him again. How I might feel, what I might do or say.

Sometimes I thought I might say something cute, sassy to make him regret leaving me.

Other times I thought I would say a biting remark meant to cut him down. Show him no mercy as he had done to me.

And occasionally I envisioned running back into his arms letting go of all the old hurt just to feel him again. To cry tears of happiness that he was back.

But when faced with the opportunity I found myself unable to do anything more than stare.

Looking into Edward's gold-green eyes I was paralyzed. And looking at him I knew he was just a stunned to see me as I was to see him.

"Bella?" A nudge to my right told me Brennan was worried about my lack of response. I wondered how long we had been staring at each other. My eyes didn't leave Edward's, but I saw his flick to Brennan's. Something flashed across his face, but it was so fast I couldn't be sure what it was.

Anger?

Fear?

I wasn't sure.

"Bella?" Brennan asked again. This time I tore my eyes away and looked at Brennan. "Ye okay love?" Occasionally he called me 'love' as a sort of friendly endearment when he felt I needed to know he was there for me. I wondered now how that might seem to Edward. I cursed myself for caring.

Brennan's blue eyes were full of concern, yet I had to force myself not to look away back at Edward.

"Yeah, just a little dizzy." I managed to say, my voice sounding stronger than I thought possible. "I'm fine."

"Ye don't look fine." He gave a great sigh.

"Are you telling me I look ugly?" I asked dryly with a quirked eyebrow. It was an attempt to dispel the tension.

His cheek dimpled in a laugh.

"Ye couldn't look ugly if ye tried."

"Mmhmm. First you say you're going to charm me, now you're telling me I don't look good," I gave an exaggerated sigh.

He laughed again.

"Yer highness forgive me." He said batting his eyes. "A mere peasant as myself, I think not before I speak."

I rolled my eyes at his words. I wondered what Edward thought of all this. I wondered what Brennan was thinking, what he would give away. I cursed Edward in my head again.

"Well I guess I forgive you then," I said on an uncomfortable laugh. Brennan looked slightly disappointed I didn't pick up our game like usual. "You are dismissed," I said with a flippant wave of my hand, to make him feel better.

"Such a loving queen ye are," He said with heavy sarcasm.

"I know, right?" I said back with a sarcastic smile.

He chuckled, shaking his head at me.

"Careful doc, she's a live one," Brennan announced looking over at Edward.

"Indeed," Edward responded. Hearing his voice was still a shock to me, sent shivers racing down my body.

I couldn't help but to look up to meet his eyes. I wasn't sure what I expected, but his eyes were guarded giving nothing away.

I turned to Brennan. "Can you give us a minute?"

Brennan didn't look hurt, and for that I was grateful.

"Of course. Been wanting to take a walk around anyways. I won't be far if ye need me." With that he scooped down to give me a kiss on the cheek, before leaving the room.

I didn't look at Edward for a moment; trying to figure out what to say or where to go from here.

"I can have another doctor speak with you if you want," he spoke calmly. The remark stung. I tried not to flinch, but I had a feeling I failed. I looked up. His eyes were still guarded.

I nodded my head at him.

"I wouldn't want to force you to speak to with me." I said the words with care, no anger or hurt laced them. They were genuine, but not dramatic.

His mask of indifference wavered a little. Something akin to hurt resided in his expression.

"I do not feel forced."

He took slowly made his way to the bed, until he was towering over me. I made myself remain still, though I was aching to squirm under his gaze.

"May I?" He asked gesturing to my head. I leaned forward bracing myself.

His touch was soft, gentle. Better than I remembered. I felt my eyes close at the sensation of being touched by him again. It was nearly too much. All the pain, hurt, emptiness I had felt raced to the surface and yet the holes that once crippled me now felt filled.

He slowly unwrapped my head bandage. More slowly than was necessary given I knew how quick he could be.

"Wait!" My eyes popped open and my hand shout out to stop his from removing the last bit of gauze. My hand firmly held his above the bandage. I knew he could break my hold more easily than lifting a pencil, but I hoped my attempt at stopping him would be enough. His hand didn't move towards the bandage, but it didn't leave my hand either.

He looked surprised.

"There's… I'm mean I when I fell I think…there might be blood," I finally managed to say my heart racing. I remembered clearly the last time my blood had been exposed to him. "You could be seen." I said, hoping he understood what I was trying to say.

His eyes flickered quickly between mine, many emotions danced across his face rapidly. I was only able to stare up at him, my eyes wide and imploring.

He closed his and took a deep breath. The unnecessary action spoke thousands. He looked rattled to see me. To be this close to me.

When his eyes opened again I saw they had darkened, but only slightly. Probably unnoticeably to most people. But I knew him. I knew his eyes.

"You've been feeding well," I murmured unthinking. His brow raised a fraction; my words had surprised him. "Your eyes; they used to stay gold even when you were stressed if you had fed recently." I clarified feeling out of sorts.

"You remember." His quiet words meant more to me than anything else.

"How could I forget?" I asked, hearing a note of old hurt ring in my voice.

We stayed staring at each other for a long moment. Finally I saw his eye flick to our hands. I gently retracted mine, now trusting that he would be fine to remove the bandage.

As he took away the last piece I heard his sharp intake of breath. I forced myself to stay still. My heart surprisingly was cooperating and beating firmly, but slowly.

His delicate fingers brushed back my hair away from the wound. He dabbed timidly at the area. I forced myself not to flinch when he brushed a more tender spot.

"You have a small cut. Bruising around the area of impact. It will likely be sore for a few weeks." He commented pulling back. I allowed myself to breathe now that he moved away. I could still smell his scent. A woodsy pine smell, tinted with sunshine.

"You have a concussion, but not a major one. No cranial bleeding and luckily your skull is not fractured. I expect the cut will heal over a week, the bruising a bit longer. You may have headaches from swelling in the meantime."

His assessment was clipped and to the point. I wondered what triggered the hostility.

"Everything else is okay? No spinal issues?" I asked even though I knew I was fine.

He shook his head.

"Your spine is fine. It says here you hit your head against a lab table." He looked at the chart although I was sure he didn't need to.

"Probably."

That made him look up concerned.

"Are you having a hard time remembering?" The question was logical based on the fact I did have a head injury.

"No. I just didn't realize what I hit my head on. I tripped."

His frown deepened.

"Can you tell me what happened leading up to your head injury?" I wondered if it was necessary. As if he sensed my question he continued. "It is important to have a correct statement for insurance and legal purposes."

"Okay. Umm, there's really not much to it." I paused. He waited for me to continue. "We were in the lab."

"You and Riley?" he interrupted. The name caught me off guard, and it took a second to understand.

"Oh you mean Brennan. I always forget Riley is his first name." Edward looked at me as if he had another question. When he didn't ask I continued my story. "Brennan and I had just gotten done for the day and we were cleaning out the nets. I sprayed him with the water hose." I smiled remembering the look of shock on his face when I hit him full blast. "Anyways he was trying to get me back when I tripped and hit my head."

"He pushed you?" There was venom in his voice. The words and tone surprised me.

"No. Of course not. He was chasing me. Well I take that back he didn't really get the chance to chase me because as soon as I turned to run I got tangled up in the freaking water hose. That's what tripped me up."

He said nothing, but stood there rigidly writing down what I had said. After a moment I spoke up.

"Look I get that me popping back into your life unannounced isn't exactly what you had in mind, but I didn't know or ask for this." I gestured to my current condition. "If seeing me pisses you off that much then just send me another doctor, you can say I asked for one." I added weakly, feeling exhausted from the emotional onslaught that seeing him again had brought on.

"An..." he tried.

"Don't," I said cutting him off and closing my eyes. "Just leave."

I didn't open my eyes until I heard the soft click of the door shutting. Only then did I let my tears fall.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**EPOV**

I walked briskly away, as fast as I could without causing notice, to my office. I was vibrating with anger. I wanted to punch something.

The thought was an intriguing one. Punching anything around here would likely result in enough damaged to make people wonder if a wrecking ball had crashed loose.

Ana's face flashed in my mind.

She looked more beautiful than ever.

Her cropped hair, even disheveled framed her sweet face like an angel. Those expressive blue eyes that haunted my dreams were wide and beguiling. Her mouth, oh heavens, her generous lips just barely dipped into a smile.

It was all too much.

I flung open my door with enough force to send a screw from one of the hinges flying. I would worry about that later. Right now I needed to calm down.

Seeing her again.

It had been shocking. Horrible.

A blessing.

A curse.

I shoved my hands through my hair angrily truing to think. Trying to bring rational thoughts back to my head. But I just kept replaying it over and over in my mind.

_I was flipping through my charts reading up on all the cases I needed to cover or finish up._

_Steven Miller, room 306. Cardiac case, nearly closed. He's going to die anyways with all those clogged arteries. Why do people eat so much junk?_

_Lily in room 138. Fractured wrist, cute little girl. She has nice eyes._

_Blondie, room 149, broken toe. Splinted, needs to be released._

_Harry, room 113, broken nose. Realignment and release._

_"__Dr. Cullen!" The pitter patter of Denise, a nurse, came towards me. I stopped waiting for her to arrive._

Damn he's sexy. Maybe we can go out for drinks? No he doesn't go out with anyone. But it was Jani that asked. Maybe I could persuade…

_Her thoughts irritated me. It wasn't as if I was unused to the thoughts at this point, but I was busy and it would have been nice to know what she needed rather than listen to her internal prattle._

_"__Hello Denise." I greeted her formally, but politely._

_God that smile. Yum!_

_"__Hey. How are you doing today?"_

_I wanted to shake her slightly. Why couldn't they just tell me what they needed?_

_"__I am well. Thank you. I am actually very busy, was there something that you needed?" I said getting to the point, but remained polite._

_"__Oh, Dr. Canon was wondering if you could cover her patient in 221." She told me handing me the chart. I didn't look at it, but took it with a slight smile._

_"__Of course."_

_"__No rush on that though. If you have more important things to do. I'm told the girl is fine," she said with a dismissive wave._

_I gathered enough information from her mind that the woman in question had woken after a head injury. I counted it as high priority, any head injury was serious._

_"__How long ago did she wake up?"_

Did I tell him she woke up?

_"__How did you know?" She asked baffled. I cursed myself for my mistake._

_"__Oh I heard about the girl when she was admitted earlier. I assumed she must have woken to be assigned to her." I lied easily. The nurse relaxed and gave me a smile she considered to be seductive. It wasn't._

_"__She woke up about an hour ago. But like I said it's not a big deal." I was livid. Who lets a head injury patient go unchecked?_

_"__I am surprised I was only just assigned. Head injuries are a priority." I asked, somehow knowing what was coming next._

_Her mind showed she had been flirting with an intern when she was asked to find a doctor for the girl. A young man, dark hair blue eyes. He walked away irritated, but Denise didn't care._

_"__We were really busty and only just found out," she lied to me._

_I resisted the urge to call her on it. But that would be impossible._

_"__I will see her immediately. Thank you." I walked away leaving her dumbfounded._

_I pretended to glance through the chart, just to calm myself. I knocked on room 221. The young man told me to enter. He had been joking with the woman. It put me at ease. At least she seemed to be okay. _

_I entered the room not yet looking up._

_"__Good morning. I apologize about the doctor switch up, Dr. Cannon had an emergency; therefore, I will be your attending."_

_Two things assaulted me as soon as I finished speaking._

_The first, a gasp._

_A familiar intake that stopped me cold._

_The second, a scent._

Her _scent. A scent I dreamed of frequently. A scent my throat ached to taste._

_I lifted my eyes knowing and yet hoping I was wrong._

_I found shocked blue ones staring at me._

_My head swam._

_Ana._

My_ Ana._

_She was my patient._

_Ana._

_She was here. In Ireland._

_Why is she here? What happened to her head?_

_Suddenly I wished I had read her chart to find out. _

_And yet I stood transfixed unable to remove my eyes from he._

_"__Bella?" The boy asked. Bella? Why was he calling her Bella? I looked at him briefly, feeling a surge of anger inside of me at the unknown boy. _

_Who was he? What did he mean to Ana? _

_I could hear his thoughts of worry for her._

_"__Bella?" Ana looked away from me to the boy. "Ye okay love?"_

_He called her love._

_So much anger was inside of me. So much hate._

_I cursed myself for caring._

_"__Yeah, just a little dizzy." She said. Her voice was strong, but there was slight tremor to it. "I'm fine."_

_Her beautiful voice nearly undid me. It had been so long to hear her words. Her sweet lovely voice._

_"__Ye don't look fine." The boy asked worried. His mind was rampant trying to figure out what was wrong. I hated him._

_"__Are you telling me I look ugly?" Ana asked. Her tone and words were so surprising I might have laughed had I not still been half shocked. _

_ "__Ye couldn't look ugly if ye tried."_

_I wanted to growl. His thoughts were innocent enough, but still he was thinking of her. Thinking of how beautiful she is. It angered me._

_"__Mmhmm. First you say you're going to charm me, now you're telling me I don't look good."_

_I wondered at Ana's banter with the boy. They were joking around, with an ease that made me ached._

_ "__Yer highness forgive me." He said batting his eyes. "A mere peasant as myself, I think not before I speak."_

_I watched Ana roll her eyes. This was a game they played apparently. She was the queen. It might have been funny, but I was struck by the familiarity._

_ "__Well I guess I forgive you then," Brennan was disappointed she didn't continue the game. I almost smirked. "You are dismissed." She continued. I could have growled._

_"__Such a loving queen ye are," He said with heavy sarcasm._

_"__I know, right?" She said back with a sarcastic smile._

_He chuckled, shaking his head at me._

_"__Careful doc, she's a live one."_

_"__Indeed," I was barely able to respond. I wanted to rip the boy apart, but forced myself to appear calm. _

_Ana looked up at me then. I could tell she was searching me. Trying to assess the situation. I was doing the same. I wanted to know what she was thinking. _

_She turned away from me._

_"__Can you give us a minute?" She asked sweetly._

_The boy, as much as I didn't like him, didn't hesitate. I was grateful for that._

_ "__Of course. Been wanting to take a walk around anyways. I won't be far if ye need me." He kissed her cheek and I had to check myself from lunging at him._

_Ana didn't look at me. I wondered if I had made her uncomfortable. Hell, I was uncomfortable._

_ "__I can have another doctor speak with you if you want," I spoke calmly. I watched her flinch and felt horrible for hurting her. I tried to mask my feelings. _

_She nodded her head. My stomach dropped._

_"__I wouldn't want to force you to speak to with me." _

_From her tone I could tell she was hurt. I hated that. I hated myself for hurting her._

_ "__I do not feel forced." I managed to say. Then I walked slowly to her. Not wanting to frighten her, giving her the opportunity to tell me to go away. She didn't. She held my gaze unfailingly._

_ "__May I?" I gestured to her wound. It needed to be checked I told myself. But the truth was I wanted to touch her. I was aching to touch._

_When she nodded I reached out and stifled a groan._

_She was so soft and warm. I watched her eyes flutter closed and I knew I was having a similar effect on her. That inflamed me. I was gentle, she was calm. I could have gone faster but I wanted to savor the feel of her beneath my hands. I wanted to touch her forever._

_ "__Wait!" Her eyes popped open and stopped my hand from removing the last bit of gauze. I was momentarily shocked by her touching me. It sent shivers through me._

_"__There's… I'm mean I when I fell I think…there might be blood." Her heart was racing. I could hear it. Feel it. I remembered clearly the last time her blood had been exposed to me. I wondered now if she was scared. I nearly retreated._

_"__You could be seen." _

_Her words nearly undid me._

_Looking into her eyes I saw fear. But it was for me, not of me. She didn't want me to be exposed. She cared for me still._

_I had to close my eyes and take a deep breath. I inhaled her deeply. I wanted more. I carefully opened my eyes again wondering what I would see. She watched me curiously._

_ "__You've been feeding well," She murmured. I felt shocked yet again. How did she know? "Your eyes; they used to stay gold even when you were stressed if you had fed recently." _

_"__You remember." I heard the words leave my mouth unable to do more than stare._

_"__How could I forget?" Her voice was thick and filled with pain that I knew I had caused._

_I wanted to end the pain. I looked at her head wishing I could make it all better. She released my hand granting me access._

_Her trust of me confounded me, but I moved forward ready to see the damage._

_As I lifted away the last bit of bandage, I hissed. It was involuntary. Seeing her beautiful head cut, swollen, bruised, and just a tiny bit bloody killed me. _

_I searched the area as gently as I could. Needed to make sure she was okay._

_"__You have a small cut. Bruising around the area of impact. It will likely be sore for a few weeks." I told her before reluctantly moving away. I watched her inhale. I wondered if I had made her uncomfortable. I felt uncontrollably angry at my reaction to her._

_I needed to be professional. I was her doctor, not her love anymore. The thought burned me deeply._

_"__You have a concussion, but not a major one. No cranial bleeding and luckily your skull is not fractured. I expect the cut will heal over a week, the bruising a bit longer. You may have headaches from swelling in the meantime."_

_My assessment was clipped and to the point. I could see she was trying to figure out what had changed. There was nothing I could say._

_"__Everything else is okay? No spinal issues?" I wondered if she was really worried._

_ "__Your spine is fine. It says here you hit your head against a lab table." I looked at her chart now, needing a break from her eyes._

_"__Probably."_

_That made me look up. Could she not remember what happened? _

_"__Are you having a hard time remembering?" _

_"__No. I just didn't realize what I hit my head on. I tripped."_

_I felt myself frown at her words. The chart had been brief. Very little was written on what had actually happened to her._

_"__Can you tell me what happened leading up to your head injury?" She looked reluctant to tell me. I wondered briefly if it was because of what she had been doing. I stomped down my anger. "It is important to have a correct statement for insurance and legal purposes." I lied._

_"__Okay. Umm, there's really not much to it." She paused. I waited for her to continue. "We were in the lab."_

_"__You and Riley?" I interrupted, trying to probe for more information. Her confusion bothered me. Then I saw recognition light her eyes. _

_"__Oh you mean Brennan. I always forget Riley is his first name." I wanted to ask her how long she had known him. What he meant to her. I kept quiet and waited for her to continue._

_"__Brennan and I had just gotten done for the day and we were cleaning out the nets. I sprayed him with the water hose." Her smile twisted something inside of me. "Anyways he was trying to get me back when I tripped and hit my head."_

_"__He pushed you?" There was venom in my voice. The thought of him hurting her drove me wild with anger._

_"__No. Of course not. He was chasing me. Well I take that back he didn't really get the chance to chase me because as soon as I turned to run I got tangled up in the freaking water hose. That's what tripped me up."_

_I said nothing, unable to calm my temper. I wanted to ask so much more, but I was barely holding on to my composure._

_"__Look I get that me popping back into your life unannounced isn't exactly what you had in mind, but I didn't know or ask for this." She gestured to herself. "If seeing me pisses you off that much then just send me another doctor, you can say I asked for one." _

_How wrong she was. She didn't upset me. I was furious with myself. For everything. I wanted to explain._

_"__An..." She cut me off._

_"__Don't. Just leave."_

_So I did._

Replaying it in my mind I understood why she had asked me to go. My presence was hurting her. I had been the one to leave her behind when she was hurting the most.

And yet she still cared for me.

I could see it in her eyes. I could feel it.

And that thought tore me open.

I could have taken her cold disdain, or angry words. I could have taken shouting and cursing. But to see her look at me with no hate, or anger. To see only what could have been, and for her to still care for me.

That brought me to my knees.

And I was furious with myself.

Furious and heartbroken. But I had no one to blame but myself. I had started all of this nearly two years ago.

It didn't matter that I still loved her, that I never wanted to leave her, that I thought of her every day. None of that mattered, because I had been the one to bring this upon us.

I sighed running my hands through my already messy hair wondering what I was going to do, knowing Ana was here.

Was she just visiting? If so why? Were her and the boy together? "Why had she come here? Here of all places?

One thing was for certain. I was going to find out.

**Did you like it? I've been wanting to re-introduce Edward since I made him leave. Did you like having both POV's? Was the scene what you expected or not?**

**Shout out to lizy2000 and jmacphail for the reviews!**

**Leave me some love!**

**-Shadows**


	33. Silent Tears

**Chapter 33: Silent Tears**

**APOV**

I rubbed my eyes wearily, trying to blink away the dream I had woken from. It was an old one that had not haunted me in over a year.

_I had been running through the forest, searching everywhere. I couldn't find what I was looking for. I remember calling out, but for what I wasn't sure. As I ran deeper and deeper into the woods, the air turned dark and cold. I was shivering, but I kept going._

_I wasn't wearing any shoes, just a pale blue dress that was ripped at the hem and sleeves. As if I had been caught in brambles. My feet ached and felt numb from exposure, but I remembered that I had to keep looking. _

_And suddenly I came to a cliff, the woods were gone. I was standing on the edge looking over knowing I had lost. I took a deep breath and turned. _

_I saw a figure running towards me; it was a lovely graceful sight._

_A tall man with wild hair and green- gold eyes._

_Edward._

_He was running towards me._

_I gave him one last look then backed off the cliff._

I always woke just after hitting the water, seeing the bubbles and waves crash around me.

Part of me knew my subconscious was trying to tell me something. The issue was, what? Whenever I tried to analyze it, I kept coming up short. Or to something that was so obvious that I didn't understand why I felt so unresolved.

Unable or unwilling to think on it further, I glanced across my room seeing the early light of morning shine through the window. I was back at the cottage, in my bed now, for which I was grateful.

I had been held an extra night at the hospital, to run additional scans. But everything checked out, so they let me go the next day with strict orders to rest. I didn't see Edward again.

I hadn't been able to leave my room since Brennan brought me home two days ago. He took the doctor's orders a little too seriously. He didn't even like me getting out of bed to use the bathroom.

He stayed with me almost the whole time. I guessed he felt responsible for the accident. Even though I told him it was no one's fault. Just a silly accident. I don't think it registered with him though.

I did manage to get him to go back to his own room last night, so there was that at least.

A quick glance at the clock told me it was just turning six. Although I was still tired, a side effect of head trauma and medicine, I was unable to fall back asleep.

Restless, I got up slowly, giving myself time to adjust. Quick movements made me dizzy. I found that out the hard way, and Brennan had almost hoisted me back to the hospital.

Sure of my stability now, I eased up from the bed and walked over the window seat.

I would never get tired of looking at the ocean. It made me feel at peace. I ached to go out to the cliff. To walk along the edge and look down at the rocks and waves below.

_Well why not?_ My mind asked. _I have two perfectly capable feet. And even though Brennan thinks I'm going to hurt myself, I can do it._

I felt inspired. I carefully moved away from the window and went to my door. I figured if I could make it down the steps without too much trouble then I was probably fine.

I made my way out of the house slowly. I wasn't going slow to keep from getting dizzy so much as to keep from waking anyone up. I felt perfectly fine.

Well, I felt mostly fine. My head did feel a little fuzzy.

My first step outside was refreshing. I had the windows open in my bedroom often, but it wasn't the same as stepping out into the cool air.

My bare toes were delighted with the sensation of cool grass. And my hair whipped restlessly in the wind. I felt a small smile bloom on my cheeks as I moved towards the cliffs.

When I made it to my favorite spot, a rock perched just at the edge, I sat down to watch the sunrise. The sky was painted in an array of colors from pink to yellow and orange. I felt warmed by the beginnings of a new day.

"Should have known ye'd break out."

I tipped my head back to smile gently at Brennan.

"You're up early." I commented sweetly. He sat down beside me with ease.

"I've not been sleeping well since yer accident."

"I really hope you aren't blaming yourself. Because it was an accident," I reminded him. He nodded.

"I know. I only feel bad that ye were hurt. It truly scared me when ye went down."

Knowing there was nothing I could really say to make him feel better, I scooted closer to him and leaned against his side. He smiled softly at me and wrapped an arm around my waist.

"So am I free from house arrest?" I teased. He gave a small chuckle.

"I suppose ye've been a good prisoner. An early release might be arranged."

I laughed back at him.

"Then I guess I'll stay on my best behavior."

We sat in silence for a moment watching the sun come up over the water.

"This never gets old. No matter how many times I've watched the sunrise, I'm always caught by how beautiful it is." I commented feeling in awe of the sight.

"Do ye know how beautiful ye are Bella?"

I looked up to see Brennan was staring at me. I shook my head.

"Ye are so beautiful, sometimes in moments like this it hurts my eyes to look at ye. So full of light and that smile there. It lights up yer face, like ye couldn't be more content."

I felt a blush rise to my cheeks. He often commented on how beautiful he thought I was, but in that moment it felt more intimate.

"Well I was a goddess in another life," I grinned. He shook with silent laughter beside me.

"Ye can't take a compliment can ye?"

"Nope." I agreed.

He shook his head at me.

"I have a question for ye?"

"Shoot."

"In the hospital, what happened between ye and the young doctor?"

I winced.

When Brennan had finally come back to the room, my eyes had been red and puffy from crying. At first he thought I had received bad news. It had taken a minute to assure him that I was fine. Just overwhelmed. He didn't believe me, but he didn't push it. I should have realized he would bring it up again.

There was a deep concern in his voice. I knew he didn't want to press, but he truly cared for me and wanted to know how I was.

I found I couldn't lie to Brennan. That's why I had told him about Edward in the first place. Granted I didn't tell him much. Just that I dated a guy in high school for a short time and that he had stolen my heart, before leaving me.

"Did he hurt ye?" Brennan asked, his eyes searching mine for any hint of what was wrong.

I nodded my head slowly.

"He broke my heart."

Brennan looked confused for a long moment, then realization dawned on him.

"That was _him_?" His voice filled with shock.

I nodded my head again.

"How is that possible?" He asked, still stunned.

"I have no idea. We didn't talk much. I- I asked him to leave."

"I can't believe it. Did ye know he lived here?" His question was without accusation. That was a reason why I cared so much for Brennan; he never accused me of anything.

"No. I had no idea. When he came in I was shocked. I didn't think I would ever see him again."

Brennan accepted my words and we sat quietly.

"Do ye want to see him again?" He asked after a while.

"I have no idea," I answered honestly. "I don't think he wants to see me though. I think me showing up where he works was just as shocking for him."

Brennan seemed to mull that over.

"How are ye?"

I took a moment to answer.

"Lost." I said finally. He squeezed me tighter to his side. "I just don't know what to think right now. It's been nearly two years and seeing him again just ripped me up. I thought it would never happen. I mean what are the chances? Here of all places?" I asked trying to fathom how it was possible.

"I don't know." Another thing about Brennan. He didn't try to give me some dry piece of wisdom that I should take. He called it like he saw it. "Maybe it's fate."

I gave a small laugh.

"Then I must have really pissed her off in a past lifetime."

That earned me a smile.

"Probably. Ye probably stole her love with that face of yers."

"Anyone ever tell you, you flirt too much?" I teased.

"No such thing!" He chuckled. After a moment of quiet he spoke again. "Ye know, maybe it really was meant to happen. Ye've been having trouble moving on. Seeing him again, maybe talking to him will help ye with that."

"I don't know. Part of me agrees with that I guess. But then my inner child is screaming at how unfair this is. Why me?" I paused. "I'm throwing a pity party if you couldn't tell."

Brennan nodded thoughtfully.

"I'll go get the little party hats."

I laughed and punched his arm lightly.

"Jerk."

He shrugged.

"Brennan, how did you get to be so nice?" He looked over at me with startled eyes.

"Being a jerk is nice?" he teased.

"You know what I mean. As much grief as I give you about being a flirt, you really are such a sweet person. You never say anything mean to anyone, at least not unless you're teasing. You just… you're so grounded and I envy that." I confessed.

It was his turn to look thoughtful as he started out towards the ocean. I was struck by how beautiful he looked doing so.

"Yer a great friend Bella. Ye know, not everyone sees me the way ye do. Ye say I'm sweet, but yer the sweet one. No one's ever asked about me before." His voice wandered as if thinking of old times.

"I was in love once." He said after I while. When his eyes turned to me there were sad.

"I'd ask what happened, but I guess I know."

He gave me a sad smile.

"See? I don't even have to say much and ye already know."

I shrugged.

"Only because I know that look. I see it in the mirror too often."

He nodded his head.

"I'm sorry for not asking before. But I would like to know. Your experience; was it like mine?"

"In some ways." He paused, but just for a moment. "It was about three years ago. We met while I was traveling in Spain. I took a year after graduating to travel. My parents wanted me to see more than where I grew up. I had a friend that lived in Spain; I went to visit him towards the end of my traveling. I still had a few months left before I planned to come back to Ireland and it seemed like a good place to wrap up."

He paused again. I could see how it hurt him to remember. I knew the feeling too well.

"I was visiting the Mosque of C_**ó**_rdoba. I have a thing for architecture. It was a magnificent sight. The halls, lined with the striped arches. It was much like ye were when ye first saw the cottage. I had to touch everything. I wanted to take it all in.

"Then I saw her. She was… as magnificent as the mosque. Tall, lean, dark. Her hair was long and black. I could tell she wasn't Spanish, but she looked exotic to me. Her eyes, they were the color of fine whiskey and just slightly tilted.

"I fell for her right there. She just struck me, and it felt like I had been waiting for her all my life."

He words rang a familiar chord in me. Hadn't I felt the exact same seeing Edward for the first time?

"We talked. She was the most interesting woman I had ever met. She challenged me, excited me. I never understood the cliché of someone making ye feel alive, until I met her."

Hearing him talk I could see it. I could see Brennan wide eyed in awe of a beautiful woman. Falling for her hard. And then the inevitable; the fall out.

His smile turned rueful.

"My stay was supposed to be ending soon, but I made up my mind that whatever plans I'd had before, they no longer mattered. I was going to change them. I wanted to travel with her, wherever she went I would go. She didn't agree. She told me she didn't want to be tied down. Even before she left that night I knew she was going to leave. I was hurt and didn't go after her. I'll always regret that."

His story was eerily close to my own. I felt a shiver run down my spine.

"It's really weird to hear all of that. Hearing your story and being able to draw so many comparisons to my own." I commented. He nodded his head then gave a smile.

"Imagine how I felt when ye told me about yer past."

"Is it crazy?" He gave me a confused look. "I mean is it crazy that we both experienced similar situations and now we're both here?"

"I don't think so. Perhaps it seems crazy, but I think anyone who's ever experienced being in love before would probably have a similar story. Boy and girl meet. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy and girl separate."

"What if they were a gay couple?"

Brennan rolled his eyes.

"Smartass."

I grinned.

"I know. I guess you're right. All romances are essentially the same. Maybe the details are different, but the basic points are alike."

"Love sucks." Brennan agreed.

"Does it ever get better?" I asked. Hoping, but not believing.

"It depends on what ye mean by better."

"Does it ever stop hurting? Do you ever stop blaming yourself for not having spoken up; to have made sure things were right? Do you ever want to move on?"

Brennan gave a deep sigh.

"I can't say it will be the same for ye, but the feelings have always been there for me. I've gotten better at dealing with them over time, but they've never gone away."

"I feel the same. The hurt is still there, but I bottle it up. Push it aside so that I can get through the day. When you started seeing other girls, did you feel guilty?"

His eyes closed and he gave a nod.

"I always feel guilty. Every time I would bring someone back I knew I couldn't give them what they really wanted."

"That's why you've never been in a relationship." I said quietly. He nodded. "You don't feel guilty for going out with them? Not because of what they want, but because you still have feelings for someone else?"

He rolled his shoulders.

"For a while I was just so angry it was the only way I knew how to deal with it. I'd sleep with anyone, because I wanted to get back at her for hurting me. After a while I calmed down. I know the guys give me a hard time about bringing home a lot of girls, but I haven't slept with anyone in about six months. And before that I only brought home a girl maybe twice a month."

I could hear the shame in his voice.

"Hey you don't have to defend yourself with me Brennan. I've never judged anyone for having sex. I think it's perfectly natural. So long as everything is consensual then it's no one's business, but you and your partners."

His lips quirked upwards in a smile.

"Ye know a lot of girls don't feel that way. I'm surprised ye do, considering ye don't sleep with anyone."

I felt my blush grow.

"I've never made love to anyone before." I admitted. Brennan's eyes widened.

"Never? Not even a little?"

That made me laugh.

"How does one make a little bit of love? Is that like when the guy says 'just the tip'?" Brennan barked with laughter.

"Ye never fail to shock me Bella! 'Just the tip', Christ!" he kept laughing.

"You didn't answer my question," I pointed out still blushing. He got his laughter under control.

"How far have ye gone?" There was genuine curiosity in his voice.

My stomach rolled.

"Does it matter?"

He eyes were gentle seeing my embarrassment.

"It doesn't. I am curious though."

"I've only ever kissed someone."

The air was tense between us. Or maybe I just felt tense for feeling so at odds with myself.

"Ah. My innocent little Bella." Brennan teased, but it was light and without judgement.

"You think I'm sad don't you? Almost nineteen and just barely been kissed. That's pretty pathetic."

He shook his head.

"It's not pathetic. I think it's sweet. Ye've been saving yerself?"

I shook my head.

"Not really. I'm not waiting for marriage if that's what you mean. I only want it to be with someone I trust completely with that part of me. I… I've been hurt before, and it's really hard for me to be open in that way."

Brennan's eyes lost all hints of teasing. He gently lifted my chin his eyes turning dark.

"Who hurt ye Bella?" I could see the pain in his eyes. Pain at knowing I had been hurt.

"It was a long time ago."

His eyes held mine steady.

"Not the doctor?" he questioned. I shook my head.

"No, definitely not. He was nothing but good to me."

Brennan accepted my words.

"May I kiss ye Bella?"

I felt my whole face grow hot.

I thought about it. I wanted it. I wanted to feel something other than sad. Something other than damaged.

"Yes," I whispered.

When his lips descended, I closed my eyes.

His kiss was soft. His lips were warm and knowing. They moved against me in a whisper of a touch. His light touches prompted me to want more. My lips parted on a sigh. He came in closer. The pressure sent tingles to my toes.

When he pulled back I gave a small smile.

His kisses didn't leave me breathless or stunned like Edward's did, but it was still nice.

"Do ye've any idea how precious ye are?" He whispered. I shook my head. "Yer so trusting. Despite all ye've been through."

"I trust you." I agreed. "It's not easy for me most of the time, but I really do trust you."

He looked deeply into my eyes before kissing my nose. That action took me by surprise. It was sweet.

"A girl could easily fall in love with you." Brennan raised his brows. "Why did you want to kiss me?" I had to ask.

"Who wouldn't want to be kissing ye?" he returned with a smile. I raised one brow. He laughed. "Alright, I kissed ye because ye needed it. Ye've so little experience, not that it's a bad thing, but I think ye need to know how lovely ye are. Every woman needs to be kissed like she means something. And ye mean a great deal to me."

It was simple, yet complicated in so many ways.

"I'm not gonna argue. It was a nice kiss." I said finally.

"Just nice?" he pouted. I laughed.

"Yup." His pout deepened. "You're adorable Brenny." He grimaced at his nickname.

"I amn't. I'm manly. Men can't be adorable." He puffed up his chest.

"You're so manly it's adorable." I told him. He rolled his eyes and I laughed again.

"Thank you," I said after a moment.

"Ye deserve more than nice kisses Bella. And ye don't have to thank me for that."

I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything. I just kept leaning against him as the sun finished rising. It wasn't a bad way to start a day.

"I've a question for ye."

"I may have an answer."

Brennan chuckled.

"I know yer confused right now about the doctor, but would ye want to see him again if he wanted to see ye?"

"I guess so. I do want to see him again. I have a lot of unanswered questions. But seeing him again frightens me. I'm not sure I'd like his answers even if he was willing to share them with me."

"I think ye should see him."

I looked up. His eyes were serious.

"If you had the chance to speak to the girl again, would you?"

"I would." He said without hesitation.

"I don't know what I would say."

"Whatever's on yer mind." He prompted.

"That could take days."

He gave a slight smile.

"So take a few days. It's an opportunity to put things to rest."

"I'm sure it probably seems really back and white from your perspective, but when he left, there was a lot more going on. I genuinely don't know that he would want to speak with me. He hated me." I added, a tight feeling in my chest forming.

"Would ye rather spend the rest of yer life never knowing?"

True. Could I live with myself knowing I hadn't tried?

"No. You're right. I should try. If he doesn't want to see me then… well I'll figure that out when I get there." Easier said than done.

"I think ye need to relax. Let me take ye out to that coffee shop ye like so much."

I perked up. No one ever wanted to go with me.

"Really?"

He nodded. "Let's go."

Excited as I was I could have ran back to the house. Brennan wouldn't allow it. He gave me a piggy back ride though, and then carried me up the stairs.

Once dropped off at my room I did make haste to get dressed.

I opted for my relaxed fit dark blue jeans and a white blouse. Comfy and cute. It was probably twenty minutes before Brennan popped his head in my room.

"Ready to go?"

"Yup. What took so long?" I asked.

"Phone call," he grinned sweetly.

"Ahh." His mom was fond of calling him randomly. He could get caught up for hours sometimes. "Well I'm ready if you are." He was, so we were off.

Getting to the shop only took a few minutes. Usually I walked, but in my current condition Brennan wouldn't hear of it. It was probably a good idea.

Finally seated in my favorite big leather chair with a hot drink in my hand I sat back with a large smile on my face. I closed my eyes enjoying the atmosphere. The smell of coffee assaulted my nostrils; I loved that smell.

"Yer a wonder." Brennan whispered beside me.

I opened my eyes still smiling.

"What do you mean?"

He pointed to me. "Sitting there with yer legs crossed, feet in the chair, and a happy smile."

I grinned harder. I was sitting 'Indian style' in the chair. My shoes were clean so I didn't worry about it. Maybe that was rude. Oh well!

"Why is that a wonder? I'm just happy."

"Never seen anyone so happy over plain, hot water." He commented wrinkling his nose in distaste at my drink. I laughed softly.

"I shouldn't have caffeine or too much sugar after a concussion. Decaf tea with honey is my only alternative. And its citrus flavored, not plain."

"Okay," he mimicked me. I shook my head at him.

"Are you enjoying your drink?"

He nodded his head. "Surprisingly, I am. Not a big fan of apple cider, but this is good."

"Everything they make here is delicious. Seriously you need to get one of those cranberry-orange muffins," I made a moaning sound. "They're to die for."

"Really? Ye'd die for a muffin?"

"Depends on the muffin," I winked.

He guffawed.

"Is that what ye call it?"

"I don't know what you mean. I'm just talking about warm delicious treats." I smiled hugely.

"Yer begging for trouble, ye are." He told me wagging a finger.

"For saying I like muffins?" I teased. "Because I really love a good muffin. A nice warm, moist, muffin all in my mouth." I finished by licking my lips.

Brennan groaned.

"Do muffins bother you?" I asked innocently. He raised a brow.

"Not at all. I very much enjoy a good muffin." He returned looking at me deeply. I felt my cheeks rise in color.

"I'll just bet you do. When's the last time you've had a_ really_ good muffin?" I asked in a pretend seductive voice.

"It's been a while. But now that ye mention it I'm working up quite the appetite." His heated look sent a thrill through me.

"What's stopping you?"

"I prefer to enjoy my delectables in private. So I can take my time to really appreciate the flavor."

My eyes widened.

"That's…." I coughed. Brennan lost his composure and started laughing.

"Ye should've seen yer face. Ye'd think I'd just've propositioned ye instead of talking about eating muffins."

The cheeky bastard.

"Who says I'm against a proposition?" I said haughtily trying to save face. He gave me a knowing look.

"I'll believe that when I see it."

I blinked and raised my brows. It was Brennan's turn to blush.

"I didn't mean it like that," he blurted out. I cracked up.

"_You s_hould've seen _your _face!"

He gave me a dirty look, I grinned.

"I love our conversations," I stated cheerily.

"Ye love torturing me," he countered grumpily.

"That wasn't torture sweetheart. Believe me if I wanted to torture you…" I trialed off letting him come to his own conclusions.

"I don't want to know. Ye'd have me on my knees I take it."

"If I was torturing you? No, I'd be the one on my knees."

Brennan sputtered apple cider everywhere.

"Good Lord woman!" He exclaimed. I cackled like a villain.

"That will never get old."

"Yer a monster."

I nodded my head agreeing.

"Yup. I hide it behind my delicate features." I batted my eye lashes in rapid succession.

"I can see that," he said drily.

Whatever I was going to say next slipped away without a fight as someone came over to our little corner of the café.

"I hope you don't mind if I cut in."

The words were directed to Brennan. All traces of my humor were gone now.

"Not at all. I think I'll go get a muffin," Brennan threw one last taunt before getting up. It occurred to me this had been orchestrated. I narrowed my eyes at his back wishing all sorts of evil upon him for this.

Edward came to stand in front of me. He shifted slightly. I wondered if he was uncomfortable.

"Brennan called you?" I asked hollowly.

He nodded his head.

I'd kill Brennan.

"He felt strongly about our talking."

I would kill him slowly.

"Oh." Great! I'm reduced to one word sentences.

"Would you like to walk with me?" He gestured outside. It was still early and there wasn't anyone out at the pier. Taking a choppy breath I nodded my head.

He offered his hand, I promptly ignored it. He let it fall.

As we walked out of the café I found Brennan's eyes on me. I threw him a murderous glare. He had the nerve to smile encouragingly at me.

I wouldn't kill him. I'd torture him for the rest of his life.

As we made our way to the pier, slowly, I tried to get my head straight. What was I going to say? What was he going to say? Was he here to tell me he was leaving? Could I live through that again?

My heart was beating out of control.

My attempt to calm it down was failing miserably.

"I have upset you." His words were quiet.

Damn my beating heart!

"I'm freaking out, yes." I answered truthfully. I could tell that caught him off guard.

"Asking why would be a stupid question wouldn't it."

"Probably. But I imagine you'd want to know particulars."

He nodded his head.

"I'm not prepared for this, but then again I don't think I could be."

"What are you not prepared for? Seeing me?"

"Yes. Seeing you again is the last thing I expected to happen to me. Right up there with being murdered and eaten like sushi."

His brows shot up in surprise.

WTF was I saying!

His lips quirked slightly.

"You always did have a vivid imagination."

I tried not to flinch. Our relationship; maybe that had just been my imagination.

"Yeah."

We were quiet. I worked up the courage to speak.

"Why did you come here? I mean to meet me. Not to Ireland, although that's a question too."

I asked the question just as we neared a bench. He directed me to sit down, and followed suit. The bench was small, meant for a couple. Our thighs were nearly touching. I tried not to think on that too hard.

Edward wasn't looking at me, but towards the ocean. I took the opportunity to study his face. It was more stunning than I remembered.

His skin looked so smooth and my fingers ached to trace his strong jawline as I had done in the past. His long eye lashes tilted up towards the sun. His lips were pulled tight in concentration, but still looked deliciously full.

When his eyes slanted towards me I didn't look away. He turned to look at me full on.

"You look like you have never seen me before."

"No, just not in a long time. I'd forgotten how beautiful you are." I answered truthfully. His eyes flashed, slightly stunned.

"You have changed." He commented. His gaze was thorough. I could feel it invading every pore.

"I have." I agreed. I had more scars now. Physical and mental.

"You are lovelier than ever."

It hurt. Hearing those words truly cut me open. I felt if I looked down I would surely see a pool of blood running from my breast.

"I came to see you because I wanted to. Even if your friend had not arranged it, I would have reached out to you soon." He told me answering my question from earlier.

"It's been almost two years. Why now?" The question burned on my tongue.

"You are here. Every day I thought of going back. I was able to convince myself to leave you be. The distance helped. But you are here now, and I could not turn away."

I wanted to stand up and walk away. I wanted to punch him. I wanted to curse him. I wanted to yell and scream.

Instead I sat there staring down at my hands quietly.

"What are you thinking?" He asked me.

"I don't see as how you are entitled to that knowledge," I snapped letting some of my anger seep out.

Edward stiffened.

"You are right. That was a careless question."

His sincere words did nothing to ease my anger. I bit my tongue to keep quiet.

"Ana please. Let it out. Don't hold your tongue." I supposed he could see and sense my anger.

"I don't have anything to say." I managed to speak with no infliction in my voice.

"You and I both know that is not true. I am sure you have plenty to say to me."

Unable to control the bubble of anger that crawled up my throat, I clenched my fist tightly and stood up to leave.

A hand shot out to keep me from leaving.

I whirled around and just barely checked myself from punching him. I would wind up with a broken hand, and it would prove nothing.

Instead I glared at his hand until he promptly removed it.

"You don't get to touch me. Period. You don't get to keep me from walking away if that's what I want. And you most certainly don't get to tell me what I am thinking. You have no idea." I was probably breathing fire I was so mad. My voice was ragged and full of barely restrained fury.

I could see anger in his eyes. It was only a tiny amount, mostly concealed. But I could see my reaction angered him. And part of me was happy for it. Maybe I wanted a fight. A real honest to goodness fight, at least then he would have a reason to dip out afterwards.

"I am sorry for stopping you. It was stupid. I just want to talk to you and I cannot do that if you leave."

"Really?" the biting sarcasm that was coming from me would have done my father proud. "Hmmm, why does that sound so familiar? Oh yeah, remember when _you_ left? When _you _took away my chance to talk to you?"

His mouth snapped shut.

"Did it ever occur to you that you've had ample opportunity to speak to me? When I was the one who had something to say you can walk away easy, but oh no, if Edward wants to talk, by God he's entitled to it."

I left the venom of his actions pour from me.

"I don't give a damn about what you want Edward. I really don't. But you've pissed me off so much I'm gonna give it to you anyways. You want to know what I'm thinking?" I hissed. I could tell he was stunned by my fury, unable to say anything.

"I'm thinking about how I spent_ months_ watching the door waiting for you to walk back through them. Even though I knew you weren't coming back, I sat there like an eager fucking dog waiting for you." A bitter laugh escaped my throat.

"I'm thinking about how even after that it took me months to stop cuddling your fucking t-shirt. To stop trying to smell you on it. I'm thinking about how I wasn't able to go back to the cove ever again, because it held too many memories of you. I walked through the halls that last time and cried because your damn right about my vivid imagination, I _imagined _us living there together. I _imagined _you twirling me across the house, in and out of bedrooms and hallways, stealing kisses in-between. I _imagined_ you cooking with me in the kitchen, playing checkers in the study, gardening with me out back, taking walks on the shore and whispering to each other until the sun would rise.

"I'm thinking about how the night I realized you were gone I was willing to give you _anything_ you wanted. My secrets? I would have told them all to you. I was prepared for that. I was ready. And what did I find, but an empty house and a note that I've never had the courage to read."

Tears ran down my cheeks as I stared at him. He looked torn up. Absolutely eaten up with guilt, but it didn't give me pleasure.

"And I'm thinking about how I tried not to think of you. How I failed _every day_ at that task. That I haven't gone on dates, haven't had any relationships, and that I bury my head in studies because it's easier than missing you _so fucking much. _And there are people out there that deserve what I can offer, but I can't because you _destroyed_ that part of me.

"I'm thinking that it hurts to see you. It fucking hurts. Because it brings all of this back and I don't want it. I don't want to remember any of this. I don't want to be asking myself why. Do you have any idea how I've agonized over what I did to make you leave? To wonder why you left and if there was something I could have done differently to stop you?"

I was shaking with emotion. I turned my back to him hating how much he made me lose my composure. Hating how much I said. It had been bottled up for so long, part of me was relieved it was out, and the other part regretted it all. What did it matter? It didn't change anything.

I realized belatedly I was shaking from holding in my sobs. They were tearing their way up my throat. I was gasping trying to keep it under control. I was going to make an even bigger fool out of myself if I didn't get out of there.

Unable so say anything else, I walked away. I didn't run, but it was a close call. I ached to run as fast as I could. Instead I forced myself to walk away calmly, shoulders back and head up. As I neared the end of the bridge I saw Brennan waiting for me.

He held his arms open. I went straight into them. He wrapped me up tightly.

"Take me home," I whispered into his shirt. Without a word he scooped me up bridal style and carried me to the car. Normally I would have been embarrassed, but just right then I was too exhausted. Too hurt to care. So I let him.

When we made it back to the house he took me to my room and put me back in bed. He slipped my shoes off of my feet and gently pushed me to lie back, then pulled the covers over me.

"The hardest part is over." He whispered kissing my forehead before walking out.

Tears slipped freely down my cheeks as I silently cried for the aching in my heart to go away.

**AN: Don't hate me? This chapter almost made me cry while writing it… okay I cried a little. There's just a lot going on in Bella's head right now. She's entitled to be upset with Edward and to tell him off. He deserved that and then some.**

**How are we liking Brennan? **

**Thoughts?**

**-Shadows**


	34. Holy Cow Cheese and Crackers

**Chapter 34:Holy Cow Cheese and Crackers**

**APOV**

"You look like crap."

Sometimes Brennan's lack of tact tickled me. Today was not one of those days.

"Thanks," I responded drily. He had the nerve to laugh. I ignored him and continued to jot down data in our notebook.

"What was the total length of that Mackerel?"

"Twenty-one."

I jotted the number down quickly.

"Anymore for this haul?" I asked absently.

"That was the last of them." He said tossing the bucket of collected fish overboard. I was thankful most of them had lived through the collection and measuring process. Some fish died if you looked at them the wrong way.

"Done." I commented finishing my notes. I stood up to stretch. I was feeling worn out from pulling in the trawl today. Normally it was an easy task, but since my concussion everything was a bit more tiring than usual.

"I still don't know how ye convinced O'Farrell to let ye out today." The disapproval in his tone was obvious.

I shrugged.

It had only been a week since my release from the hospital, but not being able to leave the house was driving me crazy. Dr. O'Farrell had been hesitant about letting me back out. With my head injury I understood I was a liability, but I think he realized if he didn't approve of me going out, I would find a way. So he gave his approval with explicit orders I wasn't to do any lifting. Data recording only.

But then Ori hadn't been able to make it this morning and Brennan hadn't been told about my stipulations. I didn't lie exactly, I just didn't inform him.

"Oh Lord. Please tell me he did give his approval for ye to be out here?" Brennan asked looking horrified. The guilt on my face must have been obvious. He started cursing.

"He's going to kill me."

I rolled my eyes.

"Ne he's not. He did give me permission to come out today."

Brennan gave me a dubious look.

"He did, did he?" Oh the sarcasm.

"Yes." I said more forcefully. He continued to glare until I cracked. "Okay fine. He said I could go, but I wasn't allowed to help pull in nets. Just record data." I admitted in a small voice.

Brennan let out a stream of curses.

"Look I wasn't going to help, but it's not my fault Ori couldn't be here. And you can act like you're a superhero if you want to, but you and I both know it takes two people to pull in a net without a wench." I pointed out.

He was clenching his jaw tight and pinching the bridge of his nose. An action that spoke about how angry he was with me.

"Do ye've any idea how badly ye could've hurt yerself? And what if something happened to ye while we were out here? I wouldn't have been able to get ye back to land for at least thirty minutes." His voice was low and furious.

"I didn't hurt myself. If you hadn't noticed I let you do all of the hard stuff. I just helped with tying off and pulling in. And the few times I got tired I told you so we could take a break. I wasn't being careless."

Some of the rigidness left his body, but I could tell he was still angry.

"I'm sorry." I said after a minute, my shoulders slumping in resignation. "I just wanted to do something useful." I felt completely deflated.

After my talk with Edward I had felt so worthless. All of my old insecurities came back and I wasn't prepared to deal with it. I stayed in my room for two days, barely speaking to anyone. On the third day I got an itch between my shoulder blades.

Brennan found me on my hands and knees scrubbing the floors with a vengeance. I had been banned from the cleaning closet since.

Warm hands firmly gripped my shoulders.

"Bella. Ye are useful. I don't want ye to get hurt though."

When I didn't look up, he lifted my chin gently. Like a stubborn child I kept my eyes downcast.

"Bella, look at me."

My eyes involuntarily flickered up. His face was so close I could see specks of grey in his blue eyes.

"Ye are important. Especially to me." His thumb ran along my jaw over to my lips. He touched them softly. "Do I need to kiss ye senseless to make ye believe that?"

I didn't move. He took it as confirmation.

This time his kiss was neither soft nor gentle. It was firm, heated, and wild. I reciprocated with equally wild abandon. I let my pent up frustrations and hurt pour out of me.

When we finally separated Brennan had a dazed look on his face. It made me smirk.

"You alright?"

He blinked and looked at me with suspicious eyes.

"What?"

"Ye don't kiss like an innocent."

I laughed lightly. "Thanks, I guess."

He gave me a curious look.

"Ye kiss with yer whole soul."

I felt my face contort in confusion.

"Is that a bad thing?"

He shook his head.

"Its… puzzling. Yer such as sweet person, I expected yer kisses to be sweet and timid. Like before. But that, that was passionate and unrestrained. Like ye have all this energy inside of ye and ye just released it all."

Funny. That was exactly how I felt.

I laughed nervously.

"I guess I needed an outlet."

His eyes widened then a grin swept across his face.

"There are other more pleasurable outlets."

My face went up in flames.

"I'm sure there are, but I'll stick to PG stuff thanks."

He chuckled.

"If that kiss was PG then I wonder what ye consider to be rated R."

I could feel the heat of my cheeks.

"I have a feeling a tup with ye'd be sensational."

"Brennan!" I groaned.

"Oh, when ye say my name all passionate like that, it does things to me." He waggled his eye brows.

I glared at him then unable to help it, started laughing.

"This is not funny. Why am I laughing?"

Brennan grinned at me.

"There it is. There's that smile. I've been missing it for a few days."

He gave me a tender look and my laughing subsided to a smile. We sat in silence for a moment before I felt the need to speak.

"Brennan, what do you want from me?"

His brow immediately crinkled in showing his confusion.

"I mean, you've kissed me twice now. And I'm not complaining, really they were spectacular kisses, but I don't want to give you the wrong impression."

"Bella, do ye ever just enjoy something without expecting anything from it?"

It was my turn to be confused. Brennan smiled gently at me.

"When ye see a beautiful sunrise, ye enjoy it right?" I nodded my head agreeing. "Do ye expect to see one every day?"

"No, I suppose not."

"That is how yer kisses are to me. I enjoy them, appreciate the beauty of yer passion, but I don't expect more than what is given."

I felt very dissatisfied with that answer.

"But what if you could see a sunrise every day? What if that was possible? You wouldn't want it?"

He shook his head.

"Yer making it too complicated."

"You're the one that came up with the analogy."

He laughed.

"So I did. Fie on me for such a foolish thing. What I mean to say is that I can appreciate kissing ye without wanting more. Kissing is an intimate act to me, but that doesn't necessarily make it romantic. I think it is a way to express yer feelings, like giving a hug. Sometimes a person needs a hug, sometimes a person needs to be kissed." He attempted to explain.

I think I was starting to understand.

To him, kissing me didn't mean he expected me to be with him romantically. It meant he cared for me and wanted to make me feel better.

"I think I understand that. Sometimes I really do just need a hug. I can see how kissing could be the same. It's another way to let feelings out."

"Exactly."

"So you aren't secretly harboring feelings for me right?" I asked, because I needed to be sure.

"Of course I have feelings for ye. But why does that have to be a bad thing?" I knew he was being semantical on purpose, but I took the bait anyways.

"Because if you fall in love with me, I'm going to hurt you by not being able to reciprocate."

"Bella. I do love ye. I love ye very much. And ye love me too. It doesn't mean that I am planning to ask for yer hand. It simply means I care for ye. Don't complicate it."

I sighed deeply. Getting a straight answer from him was impossible, but I supposed I understood. He loved me as a friend, but saying he only loved me as a friend would be a lie, because it was more than that. We connected on a deeper level, but it didn't mean we were _in love_ with each other. I could accept that.

"Alright. You can kiss without it meaning you want to marry someone. Point taken."

He laughed and ruffled my hair.

"Good."

"I'm not trying to complicate things, I promise. But I am curious. Why did you kiss me?"

He sighed.

"Yer about as complicated as they come." He murmured. "I kissed ye Bella, because I could see how much ye need to know yer loved. Yer feeling bad for what happened to ye. And yer feeling bad because ye hurt the doctor. Yer a very passionate person and ye needed a better way to get it out. I think ye'd rather be kissing him, but yer too mad or stubborn to admit it."

I frowned.

"I'm not mad at him. I'm angry with myself for getting upset like I did. I could tell I was hurting him. I never wanted to do that. He really tore me apart when he left, but I never thought it was intentional. Even if he didn't want to be with me anymore, I knew he'd never purposefully hurt me. But I got so angry. I don't even know where it came from. One second I was fine and then the next I wanted to punch him. I'm not a violent person and I didn't know how to deal with it."

I threw my hands up in a helpless gesture.

"Stop blaming yerself. Ye needed to tell him how ye felt. Ye have a right to be angry."

"I know that, but it doesn't mean that I should have given in to it."

Brennan laughed.

"Yer adorable when ye pout." I glared at him. "Bella, why are ye uspset for speaking yer mind?"

"Because he might not want to ever see me again. And I ruined my chance to really talk with him." God I sounded pathetic. Brennan's eyes softened.

"If it were me, I wouldn't let a few harsh words keep me away. If that's all it takes to make him run then he doesn't deserve ye."

I sighed. It didn't matter if he was right about that, _I _wanted to see Edward again. I wanted to talk to him. Now I might not get that chance.

"Okay." I muttered quietly.

"We should head back in." Brennan commented maneuvering the boat to head back towards the marina.

"We still need to do one more haul," I told him looking confused.

"Not today. I wasn't lying when I said ye look like crap."

I rolled my eyes.

"My appearance doesn't make a difference to the fish."

"Maybe not, but ye've already done more than ye were supposed to today. I'm gonna let that go, but I'm not letting ye lift another finger until I get word from O'Farrell that yer cleared." His voice was stern. I wrinkled my nose in distaste.

"Fine." I grumbled.

We made our way back to the marina in silence. Not that it was tense or awkward. Sometimes we just needed to be left to our own thoughts.

When we finally docked forty minutes later, I was feeling beat. I was secretly grateful we didn't have to do the last haul. I probably wouldn't have had the energy.

"Bella watch out!" Brennan yelled startling me, but it wasn't soon enough. A man juggling a large crate tipped forward and dropped it on my foot.

"Mothea-! Son-of-a-holy-cow-God-cheese-and-crackers!" I cursed out hopping around on one foot, holding the other in my hands.

Brennan ran over quickly and grabbed me.

"Good God that freaking hurt! I think my foot is obliterated." I continued to curse as he eased me down on the dock.

The man that had dropped the crate was frantically mumbling apologies.

"Back away," Brennan snapped at the man.

"OW!" I cried out when Brenna touched my foot. "Don't touch it!" I swatted at him as he neared my foot again.

"Bella calm down."

"No! You freaking jerk! I'm pissed as hell and if my foot didn't feel like it's about to fall off I'd shove it so far up your ass you'd feel my toes in your throat!" I knew it wasn't his fault but my foot was hurting so bad and he wanted to touch it.

"Bella, I need to look at yer foot." He told me calmly.

"Don't touch me." I gritted out between my teeth. My foot was aching horribly. It felt like all of my toes were crushed and the pain was intense.

Brennan sighed before grabbing my face in his hands.

"I need to see how bad the damage is."

Damn his pouty lips and eyes.

I nodded my head curtly.

I bit the inside of my lip and gripped his shoulder as he pulled off my shoes.

"Kill me. Just kill me now. God!"

Brennan grimaced, but ignored me and continued to peel off my sock. It took all of my energy not to cry as the last of the material came off my toes.

"Shit." Brennan cursed. I looked down.

Two of my toes were bent at odd angles and the others were bruising quickly.

He whipped out his phone and started dialing. The quick conversation let me know it was Dr. O'Farrell he had spoken to.

"This is going to hurt, but I need to get ye to the hospital."

He hoisted my up in his arms.

"F-F-F-F!" I groaned at the motion.

"I know. Just hold on to me."

Like I was about to let go? I was gripping him with the force of a Jedi.

The trip to the hospital took entirely too long in my estimation. My foot had swollen to twice its normal size causing even more pain.

Luckily it was a slow day and they were able to get me in quickly.

"I can't believe this is happening again." Brennan muttered as they wheeled me into a vacant room.

"You can't believe it! How about we trade places huh?" I rambled trying to take my mind off of the pain. "God I wish I had been knocked out. This is so much worse."

"As much as I hate to see ye in pain I'm rather glad yer not unconscious."

"That's because it's not your foot that just got crushed. Oh I feel sick." I was breathing erratically. My stomach rolled as more pain shot up my leg.

"I've got a waste basket."

"That does not make me feel any better. For Christ sakes someone give me drugs or knock me out. Something!" I begged.

"Well the doctors have to do X-rays and from the looks of your toes you probably need the bones reset," a nurse chimed in.

I dry heaved at the thought and closed my eyes tightly to try to suppress the urge to vomit.

"What the hell is wrong with ye? She's in pain and yer talking about resetting bones?" Brennan's furious voice rang out.

"Well, I'm only saying that her toes are all bent out of shape. They could shattered and-" She was cut off by a sharp voice.

"Denise, please leave the room. You are distressing the patient."

Not him. I cried internally. Why of all doctors did it have to be him?

A girlish huff was let out and I heard feet walking away. At least he got the woman to leave.

"Ana. I need you to open your eyes." His cool voice called to me.

I opened my eyes slowly wondering what I had done to deserve this kind of hell.

A flash light was shone on my eyes making me blink rapidly, slightly blinded.

"Sorry," he mumbled and tilted the light away. He was touching my arms and legs.

Checking for bruises? His face was deep in concentration, focused solely on the job at hand. I guessed I should be grateful it was Edward. He was likely to be better at this than anyone else.

"Blood pressure is high. Swelling." He commented to himself as he moved over me.

When he got to my feet he trailed a light finger along the side up to my toes. I hissed in pain. His eyes shot up to mine. They were apologetic.

"Should I administer Morphine?" A male nurse asked Edward seeing my reaction.

"No!" I responded. The nurse gave me a surprised look. "Please not Morphine. Anything but Morphine." I begged. Past memories threatened to surface and I was in too much pain to go there.

The nurse looked to Edward.

"She has bad reactions to Morphine. Use Dilaudid instead," he lied easily. I could have wept.

Michael, the male nurse, quickly set me up with an IV then left. I had yet to feel any less pain though.

"How long does it take for this stuff to work?" I asked between clenched teeth.

"It depends on the person. I'd say with your weight and build probably ten minutes or so. However, each person's body chemistry is different so it could work sooner or take longer to kick in. If you don't feel any relief in more than forty minutes we may have to up the dosage, but I do not foresee that will be an issue."

I nodded curtly trying my hardest not to think about how much my foot hurt. I was holding Brennan's hand with a death grip.

"How did this happen?" Edward asked as he looked at my foot. He was careful not to touch it, but I could tell he was trying to see how much damage had been done.

"A man at the docks was carrying a crate, he dropped it on her," Brennan responded for me. "By the way, ye have very colorful curses when yer angry. Something about holy cows and God cheese if I remember." He teased me.

I laughed and then groaned at the pain the action caused.

"I also threatened to shove my foot up your ass. And if you make me laugh again I will knock your teeth out instead." My voice was strained.

"Now that's not friendly. After I swooped in and saved ye?"

"I wouldn't have needed saving if you didn't startle me half to death by yelling at me." I growled.

"Oh sure, I try to warn ye and now it's all my fault." He rolled his eyes sarcastically.

"If we had done another haul we wouldn't have been at the dock when he dropped the crate." I shot back feeling irritable. My foot was throbbing and every pulse was sending shocks of pain up and down my leg.

"An I told ye, yer lucky I didn't tan yer hide for not telling me O'Farrell hadn't cleared ye to work." His eyes flashed at me, but there was humor in his voice.

"What was I supposed to do? Sit around the house all day? You wouldn't even let me clean." I countered.

"That's because ye were about to scrub the varnish clear off the floor with how hard ye were scrubbing."

I wrinkled my nose in displeasure and clenched my jaw tight. I was trying very hard not to start crying.

"I'd say don't pout, but I stand by what I said before, yer adorable with yer lips all puffed out." His eyes twinkled at me.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Am I gonna have to kiss ye senseless again?"

I nearly groaned. He would say that in front of Edward. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Edward watching us. He stiffened at Brennan's mention of kissing me. My first thought was to feel guilty, but then the second said screw that.

"If I remember correctly you were the one looking dazed." I smiled sweetly at him. Well truth be told it was probably more of a grimace. The pain was rampant and smiling was out of the question.

Brennan waved his hand dismissively.

"It got ye to stop pouting."

"That doesn't mean anything." I shot back. He rolled his eyes at me.

"That's not what ye said before. I distinctly recall ye saying they were spectacular."

I felt a blush come to my cheeks. I told myself it was from the pain I was in.

"You're taking it out of context!" I argued.

He grinned unabashed.

I punched his arm and regretted it instantly, when my foot jerked.

"Oh! God I hate you right now. Go away." I felt my eyes close. Partly in exhaustion and partly from the pain.

A cool hand touched my forehead. My eyes opened weakly to see Brennan bending over me.

"Fine, but just for a minute. I need to make a few calls anyways. Ye'll be okay?"

I nodded my head and watched as he retreated leaving Edward and me alone.

Edward came to sit on the stool beside my bed. He was less than an arm's length away. I could reach out and touch him if I wanted to. I flexed my fingers resisting the urge.

"How much pain are you feeling now?" His eyes assessed mine.

"I hurt like hell and if you touch my foot I will kill you." I warned fiercely. Well as fiercely as I could given the circumstances.

He gave a small smile.

"Dilaudid is definitely kicking in if you think you could manage that."

"Funny," I mumbled weakly. Maybe it really was starting to work though. My head felt fuzzy, but my foot was still on fire.

He reached his hand out slowly to trace the circles under my eyes and frowned.

"You look tired. How is your head?"

I shook it softly.

"My head is fine. I just haven't been sleeping well." I found it hard to form words when he touched me.

He nodded in confirmation and retracted his hand.

"How long have you been having trouble sleeping?"

I'm sure it was a perfectly professional question, but my mind went back. My eyes leveled with his.

"A while."

His frown deepened.

"Before the accident?" He clarified.

I nodded in confirmation.

He said nothing, but stood up and walked back towards my foot.

"We will not be able to take X-Rays until the swelling has gone down. Unfortunately I cannot say how bad the damage is until we do X-Rays."

"Vicious cycle." I agreed.

Michael came back in with towels and ice. I winced just thinking about what they were going to do.

As he neared my foot, I shot out a hand.

"Just give me a minute. I need a minute before you touch me." I pleaded.

The nurse gave me an understanding smile.

"Sure. We can wait for the Dilaudid to kick in a little more."

"Thank you." I said graciously.

"Of course. Weren't ye just in here last week?" He questioned me.

I gave a humorless laugh.

"Yeah. I fell and hit my head." Michael winced.

"That's rough. Ye look good, if not a bit peaked though."

I genuinely laughed that time.

"You don't have to lie. My friend told me I look like crap."

He scoffed. "If ye look like crap then the rest of us must truly be hideous."

That made me laugh again. I liked the nurse. He was sweet.

"Come on. You're very handsome. I bet you have to beat women off with a stick."

He chortled.

"I'd never beat a woman, much less with a stick."

"Well that's good to know. See another point in your favor. I bet some people fake sick just so you'll tend to them."

He clutched his side he was laughing so hard. It was nice to make someone laugh when I was in so much pain. It helped ease it a little.

"Not me. Now Edward here, he gets that all the time. What's that gals name?" he asked Edward. Edward did not look amused. "Melinda, Melina, oh something like that. She shows up about once every other week with a "sprain" or possible fracture." He rolled his eyes as he said it.

A surge of overwhelming jealousy went through me. It was so absurd I was mad at myself for it. Instead I forced a laugh.

"Poor girl. I bet Edward thoroughly dazzled her and now she doesn't know what to do with herself."

I saw Edward bristle.

"I have not given her any special attention," he defended.

"You don't have to with a face like yours. One look and their goners." I teased lightly, but I felt the truth of the words. I had been one of those girls. I looked away back to Michael who still had a pleasant smile on his face.

"Feeling up to putting the ice on yet?"

I tensed but nodded my head. The only way to get better was to get the swelling down.

With the first touches of the ice and cloth on my foot, I bit the inside of my cheek in pain. Edward surprised me by coming to my side and taking my hand in his. A silent gesture to squeeze as hard as I liked. I couldn't hurt him.

As the rest of the weight was laid on my foot, I gripped his hand so firmly I thought I might pop my own fingers off. I continued to squeeze his hand even after Michael was done.

"There we go. May take a few hours, but the swelling will start to come down and then ye'll be good for X-Rays."

I nodded my head, but was still focused on the pain.

Michael left shortly after to fulfill his other duties.

"Easy," Edward whispered loosening my hand. "You are going to hurt your hand if you don't relax a little bit."

I nodded and released his hand. My fingers ached from gripping him so hard. A cool damp cloth touched my forehead. I moaned in pleasure.

"That feels so good." I said behind closed eyes. He continued to dab my forehead for a minute.

"You are hurting more than you like to let on."

I shrugged.

"Why not Morphine?"

I swallowed hard and kept my eyes closed.

"My mom…she drugged me with it sometimes." I felt more than heard his body tense. My eyes opened to find him looking at me with absolute horror.

"Dear God."

"It was a long time ago Edward." I said softly. His eyes filled with regret.

"It still hurts you."

"Yeah. But you can't live in the past. I've done that too much."

He shook his head.

"I've seen it happen. In the minds of others I've seen some of what you have been through. And for once I'm glad I cannot read your mind."

That open honesty struck me to the core. In the back of my mind it screamed why couldn't we have been this before? I pushed away the thoughts.

"I'm always glad for that," I teased to break the tension. He gave a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I know."

He continued to look at me for a long moment before speaking again.

"So you were out at the dock today?"

His question threw me off balance.

"Yeah. We were coming in from being out in the field."

"You participate in research?" His tone was impressed. I tried not to feel warm over that.

"Mmhmm. Well I was before I fell. And if I wasn't on data duty then, I definitely am now. If I'm even allowed _near _the dock." I was getting depressed just thinking about it.

"You enjoy being out in the field?" His question was curious, but without surprise.

"Absolutely. There's no place I'd rather be than out on the water. Trawling is can be really fun. I'm not fond of Gill Nets, but it's a necessary evil. Oh and the marsh. Man being up to my thighs in mud? That's the life." The Dilaudid was definitely kicking in. I doubted I would be this open under normal circumstances. But then again, Edward did have a way of opening me up in the past.

"How long have you been involved?"

I smiled.

"You mean here or with research in general?"

"Both."

"Well I started research back home during my first semester of college. And I stuck with it until I graduated high school back in May. After graduation I had about two weeks before I shipped off to here. So in total I've been in research for about a year and a half."

His brows had risen in surprise.

"You were taking college classes while in high school?"

I grinned. Yup the drugs were in. I felt silly.

"Yup. They have a dual enrollment program. Juniors and seniors can enroll in local colleges and earn credit while finishing up high school. They had the program at our school a while back, but I guess people forgot about it or no one was interested until I looked into it. Mr. Varner helped me get the program running again."

"Wow. That is impressive. You must have spent a lot of time studying."

I rolled my eyes.

"Ugh, you sound like Brennan. He's always telling me I study too much. 'Ye don't 'ave enough fun Bella'." I mocked his Irish accent. Edwards light chuckle startled me.

"What?" I asked.

"He must not realize how much you enjoy field work. I imagine that _is_ your fun."

I felt stunned. He hadn't seen or spoken to me in two years and yet he knew me.

"Yeah. It is." I agreed.

"Is that all the fun you have?" I felt as if the question was loaded. But my mind was fuzzy from the painkiller.

"No. I spend time with Brennan, Vic, Ori, and Ro. Well I try to spend time with them," I clarified. "All they want to do is get me drunk. Bad idea."

Edward raised one brow.

"Although I generally agree getting drunk is not a healthy practice, why do you say it is a bad idea?"

I laughed suddenly.

"You're really asking me that?" he looked confused. "When my mom used to get wasted and beat me like a dirty rug?" His confusion faded into remorse.

"You aren't your mother."

I snorted.

"No shit. But I don't like the idea of not being in control of myself. People had control over me too much when I was younger. I didn't have a voice. And I hate being in a position where that is taken away from me."

He was quiet after that.

"I'm sorry. This is why I don't like medicine. It makes me unable to control my word vomit," I apologized trying to lighten the mood.

"You do not have anything to apologize for." He said it so intensely I felt myself sober slightly under his gaze.

"I have a lot to apologize for. Including all the stuff I said to you the other day. I won't say some of it wasn't true, but I regret telling you off."

"No. Don't apologize. I needed to hear everything you told me. You were right. I never gave you a chance. There are many things that I should have done differently, but you have nothing to be sorry for."

"Then why did you leave?"

The words were out before I could call them back.

Edward closed his eyes.

"Because I hurt you."

His words stunned me.

"I don't follow."

When he opened his eyes they were filled with the deepest heartbreak and regret.

"That last night we spoke, I said horrible things to you that I knew were not true. I was so caught up in my own insecurities I threw your trust back in your face. I watched as I crippled you and hated myself for that." he was quiet for a moment. I was trying to digest all that he had said.

Did that mean he didn't leave because he hated me? And if he didn't hate me, did that mean he still loved me?

My heart ached so severely at the thought I no longer felt the pain in my toes.

He turned his eyes back to me. There were distraught.

"After I got home I realized what I had done. And I knew even then that if I had gone back to you, you would take me back. No questions asked."

"Of course I would have. You hurt me, but I wouldn't have thrown our relationship away." I was so bewildered now. So confused and hurting more than ever.

"That's my point. You have such a loving heart. I tore you apart that night. For once in my life I truly felt like the monster I am. And asking you to take me back would have been wrong. You deserved so much better. You still do."

I was starting to breathe erratically.

"Are you saying you left me for my own good?"

That thought made me feel sick.

"Yes."

I was floored.

"I thought you hated me." I whispered unable to voice my thoughts any louder.

His face contorted to one of pain.

"I could never hate you." There was such emotion in those words I had no doubts that he meant them. But it was too much. My head couldn't wrap itself around the idea that he cared for me and yet had left me.

"How could you leave me? For _two years_ Edward." My pain seeped into my voice.

"I hurt you. That was enough for me to realize I could bring you nothing but pain. How could I be so selfish? How could I take away a life that could be so full of happiness and love with someone that really deserved you?" His voice shook.

"I was happy. You were the happiest time of my life." I whispered. "When you left _that _tore me apart. I would have taken fighting with you every day over the pain I felt at realizing you were never coming back. Because like it or not, I was head over heels for you."

His sharp intake of breath undid me.

"Yeah Edward. I loved you," I told him. He looked frozen. "I loved you so damn much and I was afraid of it. I was going to tell you. I marched over to your house ready to fight for you, ready to bear my heart on my sleeve, but you were already gone. I lost my chance."

He made a noise of pain in the back of his throat and shuttered.

"I didn't know," he said quietly. "I knew you felt strongly for me, but I knew you were hesitant. I thought given time your affection would fade. I thought you would come to love someone who deserved it."

His voice was that of a broken man.

"I don't care about what I deserved. I wanted you. You were everything to me. Before you came along, I was this shell of a person who did what she could to get by. I didn't fight the system, I kept my head down and tried to be unnoticeable. But you. When you came into my life you gave me something I didn't have before. You gave me hope. You showed me how I had the power to make something better of my life. I regret a lot of things, but I never regretted being with you."

My words died on a whisper.

Edward looked devastated. He simply stared at me his expression flitting with so many emptions I wondered at how he was able to contain them all.

"It may not mean much, but I am so very sorry. I never wanted to hurt you like that." His voice was thick with restraint.

"I know." I said lamely.

"You do?" His voice was incredulous. As if he couldn't possibly believe that I thought he wasn't some hateful monster.

I nodded my head.

"You're a lot of things, but cruel isn't one of them." He looked so perplexed it made me laugh. "Edward, you're not a monster. I've never thought of you that way."

"Even after everything I said to you? After leaving you?" His voice was so distraught.

"People make mistakes. I made plenty of them when we were together. I was angry with you, sure, but that doesn't mean I automatically thought of you as a villain. You were the most wonderful being I ever met. You helped me in so many ways, I can't even begin to thank you for."

He looked dumbfounded.

"I helped you?"

I laughed lightly again.

"Yes. I never talked to anyone about the things I went through. About the things I was hurt by or ashamed of. You were the first person to ever truly get me to open up. I would still be back home, afraid of going out in the real world if it wasn't for you."

He looked like he might cry.

"I never realized." His voice wavered.

"I never told you." I sighed deeply. "I could lay here and blame you for leaving, and at one point I might have, but the truth is I never told you how much you meant to me. You were always quick to be affectionate and I had a hard time returning it. I might have felt it, but I was scared of those feelings. So if I'm going to blame someone, then I have to look at myself first."

I watched as he sighed and ran a hand through his hair making it more disheveled.

"Are you okay?" I asked cautiously. He took a ragged breath.

"No." he shook his head and my stomach sank. "I can't believe what a fool I have been."

It was my turn to be surprised and confused. I opened my mouth to ask him to clarify when Brennan walked back in.

Edward stood up straight and backed away slightly. I wanted to yell at him, but it wasn't the time.

"Hey there." Brennan came over to my side with a cheery smile.

"Hey," I responded tiredly.

"Pain ease up some now?" I nodded.

"Yeah. I think the ice pack is helping too."

He looked down at my foot with a grimace. My toes were purple and still very swollen.

"Yer gonna have a time getting around." He commented.

I groaned.

"Crap! I just thought of that." Brennan chuckled. I glared at him. "You thinks it funny now, but how am I gonna get to my room _on the third floor_?"

"I'll carry ye of course!"

I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"You're gonna carry me down to breakfast? Then back up to get dressed? Then back down when I need to leave? Then back up again later when I get home, down to dinner, and up to my room again to sleep? And that's on a slow day."

He frowned slightly.

"Hmmm, ye might have to camp in the library," he said finally. "Ye wanted to do that when ye first moved in anyways."

I laughed.

"I don't think Ori and Ro would appreciate a half-naked woman in the library at any given time."

Brennan hooted.

"Yer kidding! They might actually start spending time in there!"

"Ha ha." I mocked drily.

"Awe, it'a alright. We'll figure something out. I might even let Ori or Ro carry ye."

"How gracious." I responded sarcastically.

"I know right." He grinned. "So doc, she giving ye a hard time?" he winked at me.

"Surprisingly, no. She has been a good patient."

Brennan eyebrows rose.

"Bella a good patient?" He asked shocked. "She must be really high on drugs."

I flipped him off.

"There's my sassy girl."

"You're too cheerful for me right now." I mumbled closing my eyes. They were feeling heavy, and exhaustion was taking over now that the pain had mostly subsided.

"Ye love me." He countered. I heard a chair cushion deflate beside me. Brennan must have sat down. I was proved right when his warm hand threaded through mine.

"Yeah, yeah." I said sleepily.

"Get some rest, sweet Bella."

It was quiet in the room for a few minutes. I had almost drifted off to sleep when I heard Brennan speak.

"Ye two sort things out?" his voice was cautious.

"In a way." Edward's cool response.

"She's a precious one. Aren't many people out there with such good hearts." Brennan warned.

"I know. She's more than special."

A hum of agreement came from Brennan.

"Is she happy?"

"It's hard to say. Sometimes she looks completely at peace. Other times she seems caught up in her own head. She works too hard."

Silence.

"But is she happy?"

A restless movement.

"I think she misses ye too much to let herself be content." Brennan said finally.

I could have hit him for telling on me. But I was too tired to move.

"You think she still has feelings for me?" his voice was stunned.

"I don't think, I know she does."

Curse you Brennan!

An unsteady breath came from my left.

"She's with you."

Brennan laughed softly.

"She enjoys my company and friendship. Nothing more." His voice was wistful and sad.

Okay, I take back the curses.

"But you have been more than friendly with her." Edward disagreed. Was he thinking about the kiss?

A motion came from my right. Brennan shrugging?

"A kiss is a kiss. It takes more than that."

Yup, he was definitely thinking about the kiss.

"She likes you though. I can see it. The way you two are together. I've never seen her so carefree before. She's changed so much since I knew her last." The words were filled with regret.

"She's a sassy one alright, but it's a defensive gesture. Affection makes her uncomfortable. She thinks someone always wants or expects something of her."

A pause of silence filled the room.

"That is my fault." Edward agreed.

"No I don't think it is," Brennan surprised me by saying. "I think her mother messed her up right good and she doesn't know how to handle love or being loved."

"She's talked to you about Renee?" He was surprised.

"Not much. She's a very secretive person. I get glimpses sometimes."

"That sounds about right."

More silence.

"Have ye told her?"

I was confused. What should he have told me?

"No. Its best she does not know. I do not want to cause her any more pain."

Brennan cursed lightly.

"Yer blind if ye think that. Yer causing her pain right now." His voice was hard.

"She could be happy with you." Edward's response was soft. "She would not have kissed you otherwise."

What was he talking about?

"She kissed me because she was upset and she needed to let it out. I love Bella, I do. But her heart isn't mine."

I heart Edward inhale sharply.

"You can't know that."

"Yer just as stubborn as she is." Brennan commented.

I wanted them to say more. I wanted to know what all of it meant. But my head was drifting and I didn't have the energy to stay alert.

As I drifted off, I wondered if I would find out what Edward needed to tell me.

**AN: I wonder what Edward needs to tell Ana?**

**I know Bella's back in the hospital, it's obvious Edward would be there.. blah blah blah.. I don't care they needed to see each other again and I thought that should come sooner rather than later.**

**I hope you liked the chapter and can start to see some of Edward's thoughts on why he left. **

**Let me know your thoughts!**

**-Shadows**


	35. Out of This World

**Chapter 35: Out of This World**

**APOV**

"_What's broken?"_

"Dad, it's not that big of a-"

"_What's _broken_?" _

I sighed. This was hopeless.

"Two phalanges, two metatarsals, my lateral and intermediate cuneiforms, and a fractured navicular."

Silence.

"Dad?"

More silence.

"Dad! Talk to me."

"_You're coming home."_

"But-"

"_No but's Ana. How you convinced me not to come get you when you busted your head open I'm not sure, but I sure as hell am not letting this go!"_

"It's really not so bad," I tried to defend, my panic rising.

"_This is the second time you've hurt yourself doing _research_ and I'm not having it anymore."_

The way he said _research _let me know exactly what he thought of that.

"But I wasn't doing research!" I cried out. "I was just on the dock. It was a freak accident!"

"_That's what you said last time."_ He growled back.

"It was true then, just as it is now. I tripped last time and that was my fault, I accept that. But I didn't do anything this time. I was just standing there." I tried my best to explain.

"_I don't care. Who's to say that it won't happen again? Am I supposed to wait around on a phone call that you've fallen out of a boat and gotten yourself killed?"_

His tone was furious, but I could hear the panic behind it. That was the only thing that kept me from exploding back.

"That could happen no matter where I'm at," I told him calmly. He sucked in a sharp breath, but was silent. "I know me being away from home scares you, but the truth is at any moment I could die. And it doesn't matter where I'm at, if it's meant to happen it will."

"_This is _not _reassuring me,"_ he bit out, his voice raspy. I knew my line of logic was upsetting him, but I had a point to make.

"I know, but that's kind of my point. It doesn't matter where I'm at, accidents happen. This could have happened back home just as easily. What am _I _supposed to do? Sit in a bubble and never go anywhere?"

He sighed deeply.

"_That isn't the point Ana. If you were home I could at least be there for you. Do you have any idea what it's like getting a phone call that my daughter is in the _hospital_? That she was _unconscious_? God Ana, I nearly went insane not being able to get to you. To be there for you when you woke up."_

I tried to think of things from his perspective. If the roles were reversed and my dad had gotten hurt, wouldn't I have been on the next flight home? Yes. I would have. And it would take some convincing to leave him behind.

"Okay." I sighed in defeat.

"_What?"_

I don't think he expected my answer.

"Okay, you're right." I clarified. I felt like crying. This is not how my life was supposed to turn out.

"_Ana."_ My dad's voice pleaded.

"What? It's what you want. It's what you've been trying to convince me of for months anyways. And you just so happen to be right. If something happened to you I know I would do anything and everything to be with you. So it's hypocritical of me to try to convince you to let it go." I felt so exhausted. Saying this was killing me. My heart ached.

Dad sighed.

"_Why do I feel like bringing you home would take you away from everything you love?"_

_Because it would be_, I thought, but kept quiet.

Another deep sigh at my silence.

"_I can't believe I'm going to say this," _he trailed off._ "You should stay."_

I was not expecting that.

"_You belong there. I can see whenever we skype how much you love it. You're eyes light up when you talk about what you've been doing and I wouldn't be a very good father if I took you away."_

"So I can stay?" My voice was small and hopeful.

"_You're old enough that even if I didn't want you to you could anyways."_ He pointed out.

"Yeah, but I really hope I never have to pull that card. And I wouldn't unless there was just no way to compromise." I told him honestly.

He chuckled.

"_Aren't most teenage girls supposed to make life hard for their dads?"_

I laughed back.

"I guess I'll step up on being more obnoxious."

He groaned.

"_I don't think I could live through it."_

I laughed again.

"Sure you could!" I replied cheerily. "You'd just give me hell back."

I could practically hear him smile.

"_You bet your bottom."_ He paused for a moment. _"Don't think I mean to get in the way of your dreams Ana Bells. I just know I missed out on a lot and you being so far away is hard to get used to."_

I felt myself soften under his words.

"I don't think you get in the way. I know you care and this is hard for you. I miss you a lot too. I'm sorry for making this even harder by winding up in the hospital. If you want to fly out for a visit I would love to see you."

I really did miss him. And maybe it would put him at ease to see where I was staying.

"_I think I will do that. Your classes start in a couple of weeks right?"_

"Yeah, two weeks from now."

"_If you can spare a few days with your old man, I will fly out next week."_

"Really?! Of course I'd love to see you." I exclaimed excited. It had been going on four months since I had seen him last.

He laughed.

"_It's settled. I'll be out there in a week. In the meantime, please be careful."_

I felt a blush come to my cheeks.

We talked for a few more minutes about some details for his visit before we said good bye.

I was smiling when Brennan came back to my room. It was only the morning after my accident, so I was still in the hospital. My foot wasn't even in a cast yet. They had only just been able to do X-rays about an hour ago.

"Ye look chipper."

"I had a good talk with my dad. He's going to come for a visit next week."

Brennan's smile widened.

"That's great! Here I was afraid he was making ye go back home."

"It was a close call." I admitted. "I know it's hard for me to be so far away from him, and even worse that I've been in the hospital twice now. But I think visiting will help. Maybe it will take the edge off of him not knowing what awesome people I have here."

Breanna blushed.

"Yer too sweet."

"Just like ice cream." I agreed. He laughed shaking his head.

"I don't know about that."

He sat down beside me on the bed.

"Yer foot looks gross."

I grimaced.

"I know." It was bruised purple and black. My toes were still crooked too, but the swelling had gone down tremendously.

"How bad does it hurt?"

I hated that question. Because they kept wanting to give me drugs and I hated being loopy.

"It's not so bad." Brennan gave me a doubtful look.

"When was the last time ye had any pain killers?"

I shrugged.

"Not that long ago." I lied. My foot was aching horribly, but I really did not want any more medicine.

"Yer a bad liar. I'm getting a nurse." He walked away quickly.

I threw a pillow as hard as I could. Brennan was laughing as he darted out of the way, just as Edward walked in. The pillow just barely missed hitting him.

"I can come back later." He told me, his lips quirked in a half smile gesturing to the pillow.

I felt the blush rise to my cheeks.

"She might be throwing knives by then. Best do it now while her ammunition is soft," Brennan put in.

I shot a glare his way.

"I've got something for you right here," I told Brennan shaking my fist at him warningly.

"Ye can't even throw a pillow, ye sure ye can throw a fist?" He taunted.

"Why don't you come over and find out?" I said with a fierce smile.

He laughed in response.

"Ye better get her some medicine. I think the pain's gone to her head." He told Edward.

"I'm fine. I don't need anything."

Brennan snorted.

"Are ye a masochist?" He asked aggravated.

"Yes. Now leave me be." I said grumpily back.

He threw his hands up at me.

"Yer ridiculous. Can't ye just accidently stick her so she can feel better?" he asked Edward.

"There's an idea. That might work." He nodded his head agreeing. I narrowed my eyes at both of them.

"Come near me with a needle and I will murder you while you sleep." I warned.

"Ye can't even get off that bed."

"Fine, I'll call you mom and tell her about you-know-what." I told him heatedly. His jaw dropped.

"Ye wouldn't." he said lowly.

"You bet your ass I would. And I _will_ if _anyone_ sticks me with _anything_."

"Ye fight dirty," he told me with distaste.

"Not any dirtier than you," I countered.

His eyes lost the heat and turn sad. Oh no, here come the puppy dog eyes.

Must resist.

"Bella. Yer in so much pain. Let us help ye." He came up to me slowly and stroked the back of my hand.

"I really just don't want it." I pleaded back.

"Bella. They are going to need to move yer foot. It's already paining ye. It will hurt so much more if they don't give ye something."

I was wavering. My foot was hurting. And it was going to hurt like hell if they touched it. The X-rays earlier had been bad enough.

"Are ye worried someone will hurt ye? I promise I won't let anything happen to ye love." He said it with so much concern I couldn't help but to cave. I felt my heartrate accelerate.

"Okay," I whispered and closed my eyes. I could feel the seat breaking out over my skin. I had been in too much pain yesterday to freak out over being given medicine, but I was completely aware now and the thought was terrifying.

"Ana, you need to breathe. I am not giving you anything until you calm down." Edward's cool voice floated to me. I opened my eyes to see him hovering over me with concern etched into his face.

"That's not going to happen. This is as calm as I'm going to be."

He shook his head.

"Is there anything you feel comfortable taking?"

I made myself calm down to think about it. Nearly anything I took made me sleepy, but if given the choice I supposed there were a few preferable options.

"Tylenol?" I suggested.

He frowned.

"How do you feel about Percocet?"

"I don't know much about it. What's in it?"

"It's a mixture of Acetaminophen and Oxycodone. Acetaminophen is basically Tylenol, but the Oxycodone is a narcotic. The combination is more effective at pain relief than either alone. I could give you a half dose. It would make you feel a little groggy, but it would help ease the pain." He explained.

I weighed the option in my head.

"I won't be out of it?" I asked quietly.

"No. A full dose would make you tired, but a half dose would just take the edge off of your pain."

I nodded my head, feeling more at ease.

"Okay. I can do that."

He nodded and called for a nurse to bring the prescribed dosage.

"This will take longer to work than an IV, but I thought you would rather take a pill," Edward offered when the nurse gave me a tiny pill that had been broken in half.

"Thank you." I murmured before washing down the medicine.

He waved a dismissive hand.

"That is what I am here for."

I gave him a small smile.

"So what's the verdict with my foot?" I asked after a moment.

"There are quite a bit of breaks as I am sure you are aware. The X-Rays most likely showed the majority of the damage; however, we will need to do a CT scan to make sure all of your ligaments and joints are not damaged. The bad news, two of your toes will need to be realigned. It won't be as painful as a reset, but it will still hurt. The good news is that your breaks were clean so once everything is realigned properly we can cast your foot. My best estimation at this point is it will take about six weeks to fully recover."

The thought of realigning my toes made my stomach churn. And then six weeks with a cast. That sucked.

"When do you need to realign?"

He looked uncomfortable.

"As soon as possible. If we wait too long the bone will start to regrow and we would have to re-break them to get them aligned correctly."

I felt my stomach heave.

"How long?"

He frowned.

"Not until the medicine kicks in more. I will not put you through any unnecessary pain."

I nodded my head.

"Okay."

"Just focus on relaxing right now. I won't be back for another thirty minutes or so. I am going to make certain we will cause you as little pain as possible before we begin."

I nodded my head again and he walked out.

"Sucks to be in yer shoes." Brennan commented. The pun caught me off guard and made me laugh.

"I'm gonna break your toes and see how you feel."

He grinned at me.

"Guess I'll be wearing steel toed shoes from here on out."

With that we both cracked up laughing.

…...

"There. All better"

I looked down on my foot with curious distaste. It was wrapped in a dark blue cast, my toes hidden from view. Brennan had just finished signing the top of my foot. He put a large smiley face on it.

"Now when ye look down, ye'll see a happy face."

"Yup, and I'll think, Brennan sucks at drawing."

He play hit my arm. I grinned at him.

"We can't all be Mozart." He joked, I play hit him this time. "Just kidding! I know Mozart was a carpenter."

His silliness made me laugh.

"He was a musician, you dolt."

"I know, but ye enjoy correcting me and I like to see ye smile."

I gave him a sideways glance.

"You really are too sweet."

He flashed his pearly whites at me.

"Just like ice-cream," he said using my words from the day before back at me.

I laughed.

"I'm glad to be home."

And I really was. They held me at the hospital another night before allowing me to come back today. We were currently sitting in the kitchen, my foot propped up on the table.

"Ugh! What's that smell?" Ori announced coming into the kitchen. He came over to me and sniffed dramatically. "Brennan take her away. She smells awful."

I punched Ori's arm. He winced and I smiled.

"You'd be smelly too if you hadn't had bath in two days after pulling in nets."

"But I would've gotten in the shower as soon as I could."

I rolled my eyes.

"I can't get in the shower," I said pointing at my foot.

"Fine, a bath." He amended.

"Sure, I'll just hop up the stairs and plop myself in the tub," I said sarcastically.

"I'll help ye in the tub. All ye had to do was ask!" with that he scooped my up in his arms and carted me away.

Brennan was shouting at his back. Ori ignored him and was laughing all the way to my room.

When he got to the bathroom he set me down in the tub, gentle as a lamb.

"There ye go! No more excuses."

I laughed unable to contain the silliness of this all.

"Ye do know women bath in the nude," Brennan commented leaning against the doorway.

Ori grinned, before coming at me. I squealed.

"Don't you dare!" I warned slapping away his hands. "If you try to undress me I will scream so loud you'll be hearing it for weeks."

"Ye stink Bella girl. Need to get ye smelling right again." Ori joked giving up the pretense of undressing me and started tickling me instead.

"Stopppp!" I giggled floundering around in the tub. He continued to tickle me relentlessly for several minutes.

"Okay okay, Ori. She's going to pee herself if ye don't stop." Brennan finally chimed in.

"Alright. I suppose we don't want her smelling like old fish _and _piss."

"You suck Ori. And when I get better you had best watch out." I warned him. But I was still feeling giggly from the tickle fest.

"Yer hilarious. So feisty for such a small thing."

"What do ye two think yer doing?" Vic's voice boomed.

"Ori kidnapped me and tickled me!" I pretend whined. Vic's lips twitched at my antics.

"Ye boys are in mighty big trouble. Get ye out of her bathroom now!" She commanded in a firm voice. The guys rolled their eyes.

"We were just helping her get to the bath," Ori put in.

"Ain't no we to it. Ori ran off with her, I just followed," Brennan replied.

"I don't care who did what. Get out, ye goons."

The boys grumbled, but left.

"Och, look at ye. Ye really do need a bath. Those two eejits don't have a lick of sense."

I laughed at her.

"Are you going to help me?" I gestured to the bath. She laughed.

"Of course."

And she did.

It might have been embarrassing, but Vic had already seen me naked on several occasions. Perks of living with other people.

When she was done with me, I was squeaky clean and smelling like roses. Literally. She had bought me rose smelling shampoo. It was nice.

"Thanks Vic. You're really great for helping me out."

She gave me a soft smile.

"Don't mention it. Yer foot's still very tender. It'll probably take a few days before ye feel comfortable doing stuff on yer own. So if ye need help in the meantime, let me know. Even if it's just to go pee in the middle of the night."

I laughed.

"I think I can manage that on my own."

She smiled.

"Ye look a bit tired. Let's get ye in bed."

It was still very early, but I really was tired so I let her help me to the bed.

"I'll send one of the boys up with soup later if ye feel up to it."

"I'm broken, not sick Vic."

She laughed.

"I know, but soup always makes me feel better. What's yer favorite?"

"Chicken noodle." I replied and instantly was hit with a distant memory. The one where Edward and I make soup in my kitchen back home. It was the first time I had met him. I felt an ache in my chest at the memory.

"Okay. Well ye rest a bit now."

I nodded and closed my eyes when she left the room.

I wondered how things would be between Edward and I now. We hadn't spoken much in the hospital and when we did it was always strictly professional. I knew it was better that way. He knew how I felt about his, and he probably didn't want to make anything harder for me.

Still I wondered if he thought of me.

I wondered if he cared for me.

I could accept that he had left because of what he was. I didn't like it, obviously, but I could understand the logic there.

But to have left on the terms that we did. And on top of that to have never said goodbye.

That's what I didn't understand.

He could have at least told me goodbye.

After everything we had been through I deserved that much. I deserved to know the truth, instead of all the assumptions I was left to make.

Thinking on it now, I was too aggravated to fall asleep.

A small tap at the door brought my head up. Brennan's popped into view.

"Hi. Vic said ye were sleeping. I hope I didn't wake ye."

I shook my head.

"No. I have a lot going on in my head. Can't sleep."

He made his way over to my bed and cuddled up beside me.

"What to talk?"

I shrugged.

"I'm just aggravated." I sighed.

"With Edward?"

"Why is it so obvious?" I asked frustrated.

"Because it's the only thing that makes any sense for ye be aggravated over."

"I guess."

"Why are ye made at him?"

I sighed.

"I'm not mad. I'm confused and aggravated." I grumped. He gave me a look. "Okay I guess I am mad. I just don't understand what happened between us. Everything was fine until it wasn't."

Brennan had a rueful smile on his face.

"Sounds about right."

I huffed.

"I'm just so irritated with him and myself. I mean I can only ask myself _why_ so many times." I rubbed my temples.

"What do ye want Bella?"

At his words my hands dropped.

What did I want?

"Answers." I said after a moment.

"Answers about what?"

"Why he never said goodbye."

We were quiet for a long moment.

"Why do ye think he didn't say goodbye."

"Because he hated me."

As the words left I knew they were wrong. I had thought that for a long time, but it wasn't what I thought now.

"Do ye really believe that?"

I heaved a great sigh.

"I don't know. I mean it's what I thought for the longest time. And it hurt, but it made sense to me. Why say goodbye to someone you hate? But now after talking to him, I just don't know. I mean I understand why he left, but I genuinely don't understand why he didn't say goodbye."

"Well why do ye think he left then?"

"Because he's a-" I stopped suddenly, realizing what I was about to say. That Edward wasn't human. That he was a vampire.

That would have been fun to explain.

Not that Brennan would have believed me. He probably would have thought it was a joke or something. But still, better keep those comments to myself.

"Because, he's a what?" Brennan asked curious at my suddenly halt in speech.

"A jerk," I covered.

Brennan chuckled.

"I don't know." I sighed again. "I feel like I've said that phrase way too much lately."

"It's okay to not know everything."

"Yeah, but I feel like I don't know _anything_."

"What's my favorite color?" he asked suddenly. Startled by the change of subject I answered without much thought.

"Blue, why?" I asked bewildered.

"And my favorite animal?"

"Cuttlefish," I answered amused.

"Food?"

"My green beans," I replied with a smile. He grinned back at me.

"There ye go." He replied cheerily.

"You've lost me." I said with a laugh.

"Ye know lots of things," he clarified.

I rolled my eyes, but laughed.

"Smartass."

"Indeed. It skipped two grades."

I laughed at his joke.

"Unfortunately your brain got left behind."

"It's sad, but true," he agreed with mock solemnity.

"What are you doing here anyways? Aren't you supposed to be on a date with…uh…what's her face… Kaleen?" I asked trying to remember her name.

He shrugged.

"Please tell me you didn't blow her off? You've been trying to get her number for the last month."

"I changed my mind."

"Just like that?"

He nodded his head.

"Just like that." He agreed.

"Why?" I asked befuddled. He had been talking about this girl nearly nonstop and now no dice?

What the heck?

"She isn't who I want." He said simply.

That really confused me until I realized the sadness in his eyes. My heart constricted for him.

"Me seeing Edward again has brought up old memories hasn't it?"

He turned melancholy eyes towards me.

"Ah, ye really do know me well, love."

I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Love sucks."

He hummed in agreement.

"I wish I could throw my heart to the moon."

Brennan gave me a curious look.

"Why the moon?"

"Because my love is out of this world."

He laughed really hard at my joke.

"God, Bella, ye are so ridiculous sometimes."

"Made you laugh!"

His chuckles eased and he gave me a soft smile.

"Indeed ye did."

**AN: Progress? We will see…**

**Shout out to my lovely reviewers cheshire15, Lizy2000, FangsandDaggers, Iwillnotbeafraid, and the Guest who left a very sweet review!**

**Thanks my pretties! *cackles like wicked witch***

**-Shadows**


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